She's already taken,
She's already taken,
She's already taken me.
("The Day You Said Good Night" by Hale)
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2 Years 7 Months 23 Days
Summer before Sophomore Year (Edward's Point of View)
Minutes turned into hours. Hours turned into days. Days into uncountable weeks.
And now, two years, seven months and god knows how many days later… I've lost track of the number of days. Every time I try and remember the precise day, the spot where my heart used to be aches like oblivion sucking me in.
I'm stuck in the past. I fear it has become my present, and also my future.
The telephone rang suddenly, causing me to avert my gaze from my window. The clock read 8 p.m.. I sighed, before picking up.
"Hello?"
"Edward, son, it's me. How are you?" asked an all too familiar voice.
I tried to sound enthusiastic, though I don't know how that worked. "Dad! It's been too long. I'm sorry I don't normally call… but I'm good, you?"
"…I'm alright. Okay, no small talk - I'm tired and I want to go to sleep. Look, come back home, son," said Carlisle, my father since a decade ago who adopted me, told me.
"Wha- dad, I've barely started med school… what's wrong? Is everyone okay back there?" I asked, worried. I wasn't sure if I was hearing him right.
"Edward…" he paused.
"Yes... ?" I answered in barely a whisper. I dreaded this would happen.
"You don't think we've noticed, do you?" asked Carlisle almost too carefully.
"I-I don't know what you're talking about," I answered, but I knew I didn't sound convincing. Oh god, they knew. They knew about me and Bella.
I had shown my family a pretty good show for almost the past 3 years of my perfect façade - unaffected, serene. Of course, that's a lie. The only thing keeping me together was my apathy.
And I wasn't going to show them just how much of a wreck I've been for almost 3 years now.
"Son, you're almost 23 years old, but that isn't a good enough reason to say your memory's gone bad that you've forgotten we've raised you. We know you better than you think," he replied.
I closed my eyes, and pinched the bridge of my nose.
"Um… okay, let's say you're correct, which you probably are - but really… what's your prognosis then, Doctor Cullen?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood.
Carlisle chuckled lightly. "Right, well… I'm sorry to say this, Mister… Cullen, but I'm afraid you haven't that much longer to live. No, let me re-phrase… because in fact, you're already six feet under."
"That's not very professional, Dad! Confusing a patient like that, tsk," I didn't catch his point fast enough.
He laughed again but abruptly stopped, putting on a serious tone of voice. "Oh, son… Why have you turned into a zombie?" Oh. That sure hit the spot.
I stared into space while listening to his continuation. "You don't visit us enough. You don't call enough, either. And you've pretty much lost contact with your siblings. Are you avoiding us… or Forks?" He stressed the final word in his sentence.
I couldn't very well tell him that I'm haunted by my all too vivid memories with her that if I even tried to visit places infused of our memories, I might just show them how much a grown man could cry…
So I gulped and decided to try and change the subject. "Dad, I do too call! I'm just busy with school is all," I reassured him, though I'm pretty sure I sounded like a whiny 13 year old.
"School, right, right," he replied with his Father voice. "If you say so. I won't ask for details, you know that… but come home, do you understand? Your mother misses you, as do your siblings."
I knew I wouldn't win, so I just obliged. "Okay. I'll take a semester off…"
"See you soon then."
"You approve." I stated, but it sounded more like a question.
"Yes, I approve. Your point being?"
"You're the parent here!!!" I tried once again to lighten the mood, but to no avail.
"Yes, but your mother is worried. That's the end of that conversation. Just come back home."
" Fine… okay, since this semester started, do you want me to take this one off?"
"Sure," there was a moment of silence, as I realized he was talking to someone else in the room, "sure, kiddo," I then heard a high pitched squeal, which could only come from a pixie-human called Alice, my adoptive sister.
Carlisle asked, "Edward, can you drop by Los Angeles before you get back here?"
"Yeah, sure, how come though?"
"Your sister Alice wants one of those local Starbucks coffee mugs that show the location of the place."
"Coffee mug… uh, okay." I knew my sister was odd, but this topped the list of random. I had a feeling in the back of my mind that she was secretly plotting something. Or it had something to do with her "visions" in her dreams. Great, just what the world would need - a more caffeinated Alice.
"Take care, son." Carlisle said.
"You too, and please tell everyone I said hi and I love them, especially Mom."
"You're such a suck up!!" said a booming voice, which I knew could only come from my adoptive brother, Emmett.
I laughed a bit, but that was that. My mood wasn't lifted; it hasn't been since the day she disappeared. After that dinner.
I hung up. I was on speaker phone, apparently. I don't remember how I got into my bedroom, all my thoughts were about how my dad knew of my "condition". I still felt like the whole world was out to get me with the addition of a rain cloud permanently stuck above my head. I just gave up, and let sleep consume me - however light and unsatisfying it has been for almost 3 years now.
Just how would I be able to tell them?
How would I be able to tell them that all of a sudden, after being accepted by the University of California in Irvine over 2 years ago, Bella just stopped talking to me and disappeared?
The summer before our Sophomore year was fantastic. Everyday, it was just me and Bella. Bella and I. Bella and me. Bella with me. Goodness…
"MOM I'M HOOOOME," I hollered as I entered our house.
Bella followed suit, and also yelled "I'M HOME TOO MOM!" She practically lived at my house and so was part of our family, too. But the way she said it made my heart soar. She was part of my family… almost as if we were… we were…
That after telling me she also got accepted in the same university, she just "changed her mind" and went off to some other university, without telling me where… ?
Before I could finish that train of thought, my mom arrived to greet us.
"Welcome back, kids. What's your agenda for today?" Esme asked us.
I shrugged. "Wrestling, I guess."
"Edward! Bella's a girl!"Esme said, as she put on a mock horror expression.
Bella beside me was just in a fit of giggles. "I think we need to call the McCarty's, then."
"Oh, no need dear, Emmett and his parents are coming over for some brunch."
"Perfect!" Bella and I said at the same time. My head whipped to look at Bella.
Bella smirked and said, "don't worry, silly butt, I won't wrestle! I'm the referee!"
"Haha, wow, the world's clumsiest referee. Okay, okay… in the meantime, let's get some chips."
And so we stalked into the kitchen, grabbed some snacks and made our way to the living room and waited for Emmett and the rest of our best friends.
How would I be able to tell them that every day since then, I've endlessly been wondering what I did to ruin our friendship? What I did so wrong that she had to leave, I wanted to know; but I'm without a way to find out.
"Hey Bells?"I turned to face Bella, as she watched intently at the TV. It was a re-run of an old Simpsons episode.
"Yeah?" she answered without turning to look at me.
"What are you going to take up in college?"
She blinked three times real fast. "I, uh, I - English… but I'm going to a junior college first, it's cheaper in the long run," her family wasn't poor, but they made just enough. She meant that she wouldn't do all four years of her college life in a university, but partially get her required classes at a junior college. "What about you?"
"Oh, same. Not English though. Just some biology for pre-med…" I didn't want to directly tell her that I was going to do the same thing she was. Junior college and then university.
She seemed to realize what I meant and quickly asked, "EDWARD! Why would you want to go to a junior college when you can go to Stanford University or the like of for the whole 4 years?! Don't do that!!!"
"Calm down, calm down - silly Bella! I don't want to waste money, you know? If it's worth less, then it will be the preferable choice." And if you're there, that's where I'm going anyway - I wanted to add. "Besides, it's only 2 years!"
Having recovered and seemingly remembered her more frugal side, Bella continued, "uhhh… okay… so… you staying and go to one of Seattle's community colleges? North, central or south?" she asked. I tilted my head to the side, then I understood what she meant.
"You mean you're not going to stay in Washington…?" I asked her, confused.
"I-er…crap, yeah… I was meaning to go to California…" She bit her lower lip. Did she not want to have told me that…?
"Okay. One sec." I stood up, and went to the door frame leading to the kitchen, stuck my head in and saw my mom. "Mom, can I go to a community college in California please?"I then mouthed, "BELLA. CALIFORNIA. PLEASE?" I knew Bella couldn't see my face and I didn't want her to hear that last part.
"Sure, Edward," said Esme, loud enough so that Bella would hear.
"EDWARD!!!!!!!!" Bella yelled while she blushed crimson.
My mom Esme just smiled warmly at me, winked and mouthed back, "good luck."
How could I handle them and their pitying faces? They knew… these people knew that if Bella told me to jump off a bridge, I would do so with a smile on my face.
The door bell rang.
"YO!!! I'm hoooome!" yelled Emmett this time Bella and I laughed out loud.
But at the same time… they would rub it in, that they also told me to "do something about it, and ask her out already" but I didn't heed their advice. How would I face their reactions?
"We're in here, Em!" Bella called out to Emmett. Bella continued, "and HI MR. AND MRS. MCCARTY!!!"
"Hi Bella, Edward!" both of Emmett's parents responded, with voices echoing down the corridors.
Sure enough, we heard Emmett's footsteps as he went to the living room. "Hi Mr. and Mrs. Cullen!" Emmett flashed a knowing smile to us.
I laughed. "Not yet, but hi, Em!"I smiled back to him. By this time, Emmett had a smirk on his face when he noticed that Bella and I were seated in the one loveseat available. I could tell Bella was blushing very bad; but it made me happy nonetheless.
"The whole gang's gonna be here soon," said Emmett.
"Oh, cool." I then turned back to what Bella and I were watching, completely forgetting the wrestling match I was to have with Emmett. Not that I minded.
Everyone else arrived in time for a new episode of the Simpsons marathon. They basically did the same thing each time one of them arrived. After Emmett was Jasper, and a few seconds later, his twin Rosalie, and finally Alice.
They looked around the room, checking for attendance.
Zeroed in on us.
Shot their eyebrows up in unison for 2 seconds.
Plastered a smug grin on their faces.
Wiped the said grin off; sat down.
Then finally, greeted us nonchalantly and asked what we were going to do for the day. They all knew of my feelings for Bella. They all knew.
Could they have been more obvious? I think not.
Torture, pure torture. And now I had to face both siblings and friends again.
* * *
The next day proved to be as uneventful as any other. Telling my medical school I needed a break was effortless, as it only took less than an hour of me in their registration office. And that included 30 minutes of trying to beat women off with a stick (oh if only I could literally).
After settling my temporary vacation with my school at 7:30, I decided to visit Pasadena City College - the junior college where Bella and I went to - just because there was a Starbucks in front of it. I figured I could kill two birds with one stone - get Alice's mug, and become desensitized. The drive was shorter than I thought.
At this point, re-visiting places with our memories wouldn't prove to be so horrible. I needed to desensitize myself anyway, as I was going to go back to the place with the most memories of ours - Forks. But for now… a quick visit to our junior college.
At nine in the morning, I arrived at Pasadena City College and parked my car in one of the parking structures. I got out and bought a six dollar parking day permit, put it on my dashboard, and walked the all familiar pathway out to Colorado boulevard, and to Starbucks. On the way there, I walked passed by the same old buildings with our classes. And finally, as I neared the crosswalk to the Starbucks, the library. I made a mental note to visit this place after my coffee break.
The Starbucks hadn't changed in the 2 and a half years I hadn't seen it. The smell that hit my nose as soon as I stepped in screamed of nostalgia. I felt my heart drop to my stomach, the familiar excitement I had when I knew I would see Bella sitting in our… corner table. As if by instinct, the moment I ordered my brew of the day, I settled down in our usual table and waited for my drink; in my peripheral vision, I swear I could have seen Bella… but no, I knew better. It was my mind playing tricks on me. But I could swear our spot, our table, smelled of sweet Freesia…. I just wondered how much my mind was tricking me. I got up and picked up my drink and went back into our old spot, and continued sulking.
I really would have preferred to continue sulking, but I was interrupted from my Bella-filled thoughts with the one nasal voice I knew I would have forever…
"LIKE, OH MY GOSH!!!" The voice gushed. "Edward CULLEN, is that you?!?!?!"
I turned my head and recognized her face all too well. "T-tanya, fancy meeting you here." I replied with as much sarcasm I could muster. Of course, she didn't get it.
"Oh geez, wow, so like, you go to PCC???" she asked.
"No." I answered uninterested, because I wasn't.
"So you came to visit her?" she asked in a disgusted tone…. And I knew that tone was reserved only for one person I knew.
Bella.
My eyes widened and I asked her, "WHO?"
Bella. She was close. My Bella was nearby! … I think.
"Oh… uh… Jessica! Yeah, that's right!!!! Jessica Stanley! She's here too." She tried to cover up something, which I don't know what. What did she not want to tell me?
"Right…" I answered.
"So, like, you knowwww…" she continued in a voice that had me realizing I wanted a way out of here, and fast. "I'm, like, here in LA to make it out as an actreeeess."
"That's nice." Good God, was she testing out my patience?
"Yeah… and like… were you… did you see my in Kiss The Night???" she asked
What was she talking about? "Uh, no." I replied. What kind of movie was THAT? Porn?!
"I was in that moooovie! It was a small role but I swear the bitch just slept with the casting director or somethingggg, I was going to get the rooole!" she whined.
"Uh… good luck next time?" I looked at my watch, finding a reason to leave. "Oh look at the time. I have to go! Nice seeing you again." I hope to never see you ever again though.
As I stood up, Tanya said, "thanks! We should like, have drinks together sometime." She purred. I took a step away. "Um… I'm only in town for today, sorry."
"Aww that's too bad!" Tanya looked down at the table and saw something I didn't notice before. "You forgot your envelope, Eddie!" I hated it when she called me that.
"Um… thanks." I answered her. For some reason, even thought I knew that the envelope belonged to someone else, it called for me. I was normally the person who if they found a cellphone on the floor of a bathroom, I'd find whose it was and return it to the owner at whatever cost. Why was this envelope different…?
Turning the corner after I crossed the stress, I remembered my mental note and went to visit my junior college's library. "SHATFORD LIBRARY" was the sign at the very top of the majestic looking 3 storey building. I entered the familiar library and headed to my usual corner table.
I found the address of the publishing house on the envelope. I was glad because now I could return it properly. I then opened the yellow envelope and took out the contents. White copy paper, one inch thick, stapled and had red ink scribbles all over. I figured it was a manuscript of some book, and was being edited…
By an editor. With an English major. Which was Bella's major.
All right, my imagination is going too crazy, I thought to myself. I was looking for Bella, and too much desperate for her. I had to stop.
But then as I was calming myself down, I saw another piece of paper with writing in it. It looked like notes about the manuscript's content. I would've just stuffed it back inside the envelope, but the handwriting INSTANTLY caught my eye.
It was her handwriting. Bella's handwriting! I could spot it from a mile away.
And at the left edge of the binder paper, by the margin, with what looked to be the "test out spot" for ink pens, I saw… two words that made my heart drop beyond my stomach, all the way to my feet.
Anyway, you know those scribbles? When the ink doesn't flow right away, that you had to write on something first? Yeah. First the ink is light… then it gets dark.
Sorry Edward, it said. In blood red colored ink. Sorry Edward.
Bella's HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!
With that, all thoughts of the forgotten mug I was to buy Alice went out the window.
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Author's notes:
Hahahahha Edward just about pissed his pants!!!! Lol and OMG … 3200 words… wow….
Hopefully this chapter clears a few questions lol If not, ASK!
Anyway, sorry for the delay in updates in ALL of my stories, folks. I'll work harder!
