Chapter 11:
Narcissa dragged her son by the ear down several hallways until she got to the suite deep in the bowels of Slytherin territory where accommodations had been made to house her entourage until after the wedding. By the time she was finished with him he was whimpering. (That was after all the screaming and hyperventilating.)
Even Lucius (who is a seasoned Death Eater) was shell shocked to realize that his wife's normal beauty routine could put Voldemort's casual cruelty to shame. And she called it getting ready for a wedding? No wonder his son, ah how was it that Vernon put things, Yes, Draco swung the wrong way on the Tree of Life. More like it was a self-defense mechanism- life is short, nasty, and brutal…with a mother like Cissy.
Harry had been hustled off by Petunia and was undergoing something of the same treatment. It wasn't quite so bad for him though because Pet did not see the reasoning behind smoothing out any of his blemishes with foundation, then applying the correct cosmetics to restore his beautiful porcelain complexion. It was pretty damn scary to see her coming at him with the tweezers though…
"Dudley, help me!" Went from a full blown shriek down to nothing more than a whine about 'why won't you help me?' long before Petunia let Harry loose. Even then she insisted that Vernon sit there with him and make sure he did not move: she did not want any wrinkles in his robes; no food stains anywhere near him; and if he needed the bath room- well, Poppy had given her the correct spell for him to use so that he would not …well just say she was not going to violate rule two by other means either.
Severus Snape did not escape unscathed (or was that unscarred) either. Molly Weasley hauled him back to his chambers and proceeded to abuse his dignity in ways that only a VSM (Very Scary Matriarch) can manage! It was quite strange to have her fussing over him. He was quite sure that she was only about ten years older than he was at the very most. Ah well…never mind.
Ten minutes into the torture and he was fast losing all patience. "What in the name of Merlin was I thinking when I agreed to marry Harry Potter?" Severus glared at Molly Weasley. He was hissing mad and wanted the world to know it. He was exhausted from being up for almost all of the last 60 plus hours, approximately 45 of them spent trying to find his fiancé who had disappeared and then reappeared as if nothing was wrong.
Molly glared right back at him. "You either get your big skinny bat-ass attitude into that bathroom where Charlie, Bill and Arthur are waiting to help you, or I will cast a scourgify on you."
"You don't scare me, Molly Weasley!" His defiant tone was belied by the fact that he drew his wand and was edging toward the bathroom door.
With a roar that would make a dragon proud, Molly was on him. "Don't you ever pull your wand on me again, you arrogant sot!" She grabbed his wand with one hand and the neck of his robes with the other.
He squawked like a chicken about to get pounced and headed for the closest door. The only error in his escape plan was: Molly hadn't let loose of him yet. Severus overbalanced and landed on the floor in front of her. His last coherent thought before screaming his damn fool head off was 'Scream for HELP!'
Arthur managed to grab Severus and drag him into the bathroom right around the same time Charlie pulled his mother away from the cowering figure that she was beating with his own wand. Bill managed to make his mother stop swinging the wand long enough for the two of them to get her to take a calming potion, or two.
Arthur had to force a calming potion down Severus also. The poor man would not stop whimpering and shaking. Finally Arthur, from the kindness of his heart, obliterated the poor creature. He shook his head in frustration at the way his wife treated anyone who dared to agitate anyone she considered family. Molly had probably been spoiling for that scene since the moment she heard that Severus had yelled at Harry and that the boy had gone missing.
Severus shook his head trying to clear it. "Arthur you are going to have to stop protecting her by obliterating her victims."
Arthur grinned weakly. "How did you…Oh!" He looked at the wand marks across Severus' hips and upper legs. "She hasn't lost control like that in months." His face was redder than his hair.
Severus just shook his head. "I was there, Arthur. I know what happened." He looked back down at the battle scars he was now toting compliments of Molly Weasley. "Both times I was there." Cocking his head to the side as he traced a particularly bad welt, he added, "Still, I think I got off luckier than he did."
Arthur snorted, "He did not get rescued either."
Severus gave him a wide-eyed stare before nodding solemnly. "First time around I thought it was pretty near funny. Instead it hurts worse than one of his crucios."
Arthur dug around in one of Sev's robe pockets. "Here is your special healing ointment." Then not being able to suppress his curiosity a moment longer he added, "Did he ever recover from her discipline session?"
Severus threw back his head and howled with laughter. "No, Arthur, I do not think that the Dark Lord ever recovered from that time he was stupid enough to let Molly show him exactly what she thought of him."
"Was it as bad as Crabbe and Goyle said it was when they came to turn themselves in to the Ministry? Whatever she did really did wonders for the Order."
Severus began washing himself as he filled Arthur in on the details of the time Bellatrix LeStrange had taken Molly to see Lord Voldemort. Bella had been bragging about how Her Lord had captured Arthur and was going to kill him after he destroyed all the other muggle loving fools at the Burrow.
Bellatrix had been stupid enough to call all the other Death Eaters so they could witness the slight altercation between Mrs. Weasley and the Dark Lord which led to Bella being hauled back to Azkaban and Voldie flooing away after he had been scared into molting several layers of scales everywhere. It would appear that an angry Molly Weasley is impervious to all three unforgivables when she is angry enough. That particular day she was angry enough.
Ollivander reported to the Ministry that Tom Riddle had visited his shop the next day in search of a new wand. It seems his old one had been broken when someone bent on causing him bodily harm had snapped it then used it as rotisserie sticks before sending him flying backwards into a working fireplace.
All things considered, Severus was in great form when he exited his chambers to be escorted to the Great Hall where he would meet his other two partners. He even had the audacity to smirk at Molly and stick out his tongue as he went past: Arthur Weasley had been none to gentle with his wife when he issued orders in no uncertain terms that she would not take her bad temper out on others.
Strangely enough, considering the size of the wedding, it went off without any major hitches. It probably had something to do with all three grooms being tortured to within an inch of their lives. Sleep deprivation, starvation, and physical and mental abuse are all great methods of bringing recalcitrant behavior into line. All three of them were poster children for sainthood. (It was enough to make you sick!)
The ceremony took place out on the lawn because that was the only place large enough to accommodate all the guests. It did not go quite as perfectly as planned, but no one really minded the dozen little unicorns that showed up to be bridesmaids. The unexpected arrival of a contingent of centaurs insisting that they had to perform the Rites of Marriage according to Centaur law was also worked into the schedule.(It was the first time the centaurs had honored a wizard union since Merlin's bonding.)
After one of the longest most complicated weddings in Wizarding History, the three men were finally bonded, wedded, and legally bound to each other until such time as they saw fit to depart from this mortal coil. It was with a great deal of rejoicing that Minister McFadden declared that all the legalities were complete and those who were expected to attend the reception were invited to do so posthaste.
SSS
It was only natural to assume that the honeymoon would fall apart. Draco was so apprehensive about the bonding that his morning sickness kicked in at 10:20 P.M. and did not abate until Severus had brewed him a calming potion. Followed by Severus getting a bloody nose when an angry owl dropped a present on his head instead of landing and letting him retrieve it from her. Finally, Harry cracked and had a full blown anxiety attack and it took Severus and Draco both to calm him down.
Draco wound up sitting on the couch holding a sobbing Potter while Severus handed him kleenexes and rubbed his back. After finding out that Harry had not eaten any food since before their infamous dinner date and was running on even less sleep...Well, the honeymoon has been deferred until such a time as he is capable of participating!
A/N: Now wasn't that a sweet ending? Instead of reading a lemon that gets you depressed, you can use your imagination and let them have the honeymoon you always wanted with them. I, myself, am fixated on a ski chalet in the Swiss Alps this week. Lots of snow to play in during the day and a nice roaring fire to lounge in front of in the evenings. Nights should find the guys cuddling down in a big ol' California King size feather bed with flannel sheets and an eiderdown quilt.
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