This Heart Will Mend

Chapter 2

"I'm letting you go…my Natsuki"

Shizuru quickly left the bar after saying goodbye to Natsuki. In her haste she didn't even look for Mai or Mikoto to congratulate them. She made a mental note to send the newly engaged couple a handsome gift, and a note to apologize for missing their celebration. "Mai-san would surely understand," she thought. It just wasn't the time to be cordial. She couldn't bear to be in the same room as Natsuki…not right now, not like this. Yuuki Nao was surely at the party, and if Shizuru had to see her and Natsuki together…if they were to even touch each other slightly in front of her…she just might lose her fragile sanity.

Even as she walked out…no, as she ran out of the bar, it took everything out of Shizuru not to run back in and grab Natsuki away. It would be so easy just to take her against her will, and to try to make Natsuki hers, just like she tried then during the madness that was the HiME festival. But she knew she would only fail. She would only hurt Natsuki again, and she vowed never to let that happen even if it killed her.

When she reached her car it was like the floodgates to her heart just opened. She barely got the door shut before she broke down. She buried her face in her hands not knowing how else to contain her tears. Then she instinctively wrapped her arms across her chest, as if to protect her breaking heart. She held on as tight as she could in an attempt to stop the pain. Rocking herself back and forth, she curled to a near fetal position and let herself cry. From her head to the tips of her toes, she felt a wave of searing pain coming from her chest. She was simply drowning, and there was nothing to be done.

"I love you too much for my own good Natsuki…"

Now more than ever, she wished she had stayed dead. Tears kept flowing from her eyes, and her chest got tighter and tighter, she died inside even more.

"Kami-sama… you are so cruel! Is this my punishment for my sins? Did you let me live just so I can lose Natsuki again? This is too much… this is just too much!" She pounded at her dashboard repeatedly, "Natsuki, why did it have to be this way?" Shizuru's fists were clenched so tight that her knuckles were white, and blood was starting to come out as her fingernails dug into her palms.

Shizuru continued to writhe in agony inside her red sportscar until she heard a soft knock on the window. Any other day, the great Fujino Shizuru would straighten herself out, and pretend she was fine. She would no doubt try to explain her behavior, and deal with the situation with charm and grace. But today is not any other day. The world could end now, and Shizuru would not know the difference. So she kept her eyes shut, ignoring the intrusion.

The person outside her window was not going to give up either, "Shizuru-san" He called to her. It was Kanzaki Reito. The only person in Fuuka Shizuru would trust about her true feelings. Somehow, she and Reito had more than their dark pasts in common. More than anyone, Reito would know how Shizuru was feeling at the moment. Afterall, Reito was desperately in love with Mai, but stepped aside so the love of his life could be happy with his sister, no less.

At the sound of his voice Shizuru opened her eyes and did something she never would have done under any other circumstance. She opened the door, stood up and threw herself at the young man, hanging on to him for dear life. "It hurts so much...Reito-san. I don't think I can do this….there's just no way!"

"It will pass…Shizuru, it will pass" Reito said soothingly, as he held on to his friend and let her cry some more.

--ooOoo--

It had been hours since Reito found Shizuru distraught inside her car. He had seen Shizuru run out of the establishment he shared in a business partnership with Mai. He followed her to her car for he knew Shizuru was in no condition to go home on her own. You see, the ex-kaichou had been his long time friend. And although the woman never outwardly showed him any vulnerability, he knew it was there. Afterall, they've always shared a mutual respect and understanding, especially when it came to matters like this.

He brought her to his flat not far from the bar. Shizuru cried some more without saying much for hours before finally calming down. The poor woman was utterly exhausted. The whole scenario was entirely too familiar for Reito, but he steadfastly supported his friend.

"Drink this, Shizuru-san." Reito said offering a cup of freshly brewed tea to Shizuru. "It's one of your favorites".

"Ookini, Reito-kun." Shizuru took the warm drink. Tea always calmed her down. "I'm so sorry to impose on you. I didn't want anyone to see me in such a state…but I'm glad you were there."

"Anything for a friend"

Silence.

"It's getting late, Shizuru-san, shall I take you home? I will see to it that your car is safe for the night." Reito said gently as he stood up from the sofa.

"If it's not too much to ask…"Shizuru said with tentativeness Reito was not accustomed to. Then again, a completely devastated Shizuru was not something one would see everyday either. "…can I stay here for tonight? My apartment here in Fuuka has been empty for a long time…and I don't think that will be good for me right now"

Reito smiled warmly at his chestnut haired friend. "Of course, Shizuru-san. You're welcome to use my guest room as long as you'd like"

--ooOoo--

After her highly emotional encounter with Shizuru, Natsuki was completely drained. She spent almost half an hour calming herself down and freshening up in the bathroom. She didn't want to go back into the VIP lounge and be flooded with questions from her friends. It had been an hour since she left the room to sit at the bar, and if she showed up with red puffy eyes, they would definitely be suspicious. Natsuki was in no mood to celebrate, nor to answer any questions at all.

She paused at the door to the lounge, took a deep breath, and forced herself to smile before pushing the door open.

"Natsuki-chan! Where have you been?" Midori was the first to greet her, immediately linking her arm with Natsuki's. Fortunately, the teacher, and everyone else in the room for that matter, seemed more than a little tipsy to notice anything. Even Midori who asked the question didn't really seem all that interested in an answer.

Natsuki let Midori sweep her away to the center of the room where Nao was leaning to the side, laughing hysterically while Yukino and Haruka blushed furiously. Actually, Yukino blushed, and Haruka just looked furious. Natsuki wondered what led up to this curious scene. Midori interrupted her thoughts as she hung an arm heavily on Natsuki's shoulders saying, "It's about time you showed up back here, your girlfriend is being VERY naughty with the bulldozer."

"I'm not a bulldozer, you idiot!" Haruka loudly protested, obviously intoxicated also.

"How did you know she was talking about you?" Nao jeered on and continued laughing. This caused Haruka to growl, mutter something incoherently, and then stomp away with Yukino in tow. This made Nao laugh even harder, until she locked eyes with her green-eyed lover. Nao may have been intoxicated, but she was not too drunk to notice Natsuki was upset. She quickly sobered up, and gently put her arms on Natsuki's waist and told Midori to leave them alone in her own smartass way.

"Midori-sensei, isn't there a bottle of sake you should be gulping down somewhere?"

"Why you little devil!" Midori acted offended, but figured the younger redhead just wanted some alone time with Natsuki. "I'll get you later for that comment, Nao-chan, just you wait." She said before leaving the two alone.

When Midori was no longer within earshot, Natsuki saw Nao's expression change from being smug, to that of worry and caring for her. She was comforted by the softness in Nao's eyes. In that moment, Natsuki thought to herself, "She's so beautiful like this". She loved that to her Nao was not the cold vixen who never took anything seriously that everyone saw her to be. This Nao was always kind, gentle, and mature beyond her years. Then as if on cue she was treated to a loving smile as the redhead enveloped her in a loving embrace. Natsuki reciprocated by wrapping her own arms tightly around Nao's shoulders, and letting her head rest in the crook of the redhead's neck.

The two stayed in that state without saying anything. Natsuki felt inexplicably empty--the kind of emptiness one feels after losing a great part of herselt--yet she was feeling the heaviness in her heart slowly dissipate from the affection she was getting from Nao. Just this small gesture reminded her why she chose the girl in the first place. She had dreaded the questions she would get, but being in Nao's arms, she knew she was understood without having to say anything. Pain and conflict not completely gone from her heart, Natsuki felt herself begin to relax and smiled.

"How do you always know exactly what I need?".

--ooOoo--

Nao took one look at Natsuki and knew something important happened. She also had a very strong feeling what it had to do with. Afterall, there was only one other person who could affect her lover this way. Shizuru.

While she never much liked the Kyoto-born woman, she has come to respect her as a worthy rival. She understood what it was like to love Natsuki to the point of sacrificing anything and everything. Had she been Shizuru at the time of the Carnival, she was sure she wouldn't have done any better than the other girl. She probably would have killed anyone for Natsuki too.

Sometimes it amazed her how much she has grown in the three years after the Carnival. Her old self would have never stood for any of this. Seeing how upset Natsuki was over anything that had to do with Fujino Shizuru would have made her old self very angry, and start plotting how to hurt the crimson-eyed woman. Instead, she found herself giving way, and giving Natsuki the benefit of the doubt. The truth was, Nao acknowledged that Shizuru and Natsuki shared a bond that was beyond explanation. She also knew what the woman meant to Natsuki…what she means to Natsuki, and she would always respect that. The fact that Natsuki is now in her arms is enough reassurance for her. All the other details don't matter.

"I told her, Nao" Natsuki finally said as the two widened their embrace. "She knows that I'm with you… and she set me free."

As she heard this, Nao almost picked up her lover in excitement. Instead she cupped Natsuki's chin and said "I am so proud of you." Then as if sensing her beloved's uneasiness over having to answer any questions the others might have for her, Nao said, "Stay here, I'll go whisper to Mai we are leaving." This was met with no objections from the older girl.

While Nao was gone to discreetly say goodbye to Mai, Natsuki wondered if it was possible to be extremely sad, and extremely happy at the same time. Something told her the answer would not be easy. For now, she allowed herself to be extremely happy that she could love freely, and enjoy Nao's unconditional love without holding back for fear of hurting Shizuru.

When Nao returned with their coats, Natsuki pulled her into a long passionate kiss. After their lips parted, Nao smiled and said, "Let's go home, Natsuki."