Woo! Chapter 4! Finally! I hope you enjoy!
The bus ride home was uneventful, and Ritsuka was quiet as he usually was after a session with Katsuko. Soubi understood, and only talked when it was necessary making sure that Ritsuka started most of the conversations for awhile after. He figured the teen needed time to think about whatever they had talked about. Some days were better than others, it took a careful study of his mood to figure out what kind of day it was, and Soubi was proud to say he was getting pretty good at it.
The only conversation that came up was Soubi asking Ritsuka if he needed anything, it was cold and looking like it was going to storm. No sense running in the rain if you could get things on the way home. Ritsuka smiled a little and shook his head and then went back to gazing out the window. The ride became quiet once again.
Once they had reached Soubi's condo, it was obvious the moment they entered that Soubi had been busy during the day. He had done loads of unpacking, making it seem more like a filled space and not an empty room.
"Looks good," Ritsuka muttered as if he was half there. Soubi smiled and kissed the top of his head. It was one of those days, Soubi knew to give him some space. He did wonder what was going on in Ritsuka's head.
"Thanks, I'll finish up later. I'm glad you like it though." Ritsuka nodded. It seemed...warmer than it did this morning when he left. It felt lived in, and yet was beautiful. Paintings colored the walls, while furniture gave the room atmosphere. Everything was interesting alone, but blended into one room perfectly.
"Ritsuka, I have a little bit of work to get done, I'll be in the studio if you need me alright?"
"Okay," he said smiling. Soubi returned the smile and lightly kissed him and headed upstairs. Ritsuka sighed as soon as he was out of sight. He really wanted to lay down and relax for a few minutes. He decided to get water and something to eat before he went upstairs. He made his way into the kitchen, noticing a flier for Soubi's gallery. Ritsuka smiled, he was happy for Soubi, there was short time until it opened. That time would fly by..
Once he was finished, he headed upstairs and flopped down on the bed belly first. He grabbed Soubi's pillow and held onto it. It smelled of him, and was comforting in a way he couldn't explain. He needed to talk to Soubi about a few things, but wasn't sure how he would do so. He wanted to tell Soubi about how he wanted to leave his mother, and live here, in Soubi's home. It was basically his house anyway, but legal things had to be worked out. Ritsuka was sure he wouldn't say no, but he wanted to make sure it. It would be a big step in their relationship.
Their relationship, that was another matter. Ritsuka had thought about it, and still needed time. He would come to a conclusion soon enough and that would have to be good enough for everyone. He wondered what people would think if they found out, how would his friends react? He knew there were people out there who shared similar worries, but most of them had gotten over it. They were brave, and strong. Did that make him weak though? It wasn't a big deal, but he wanted to be strong and independent, but never had been able to do anything more than act. It was frustrating, but Ritsuka had stopped letting it worry him. He had more important things to worry about. Of course, that didn't mean the worry was gone, it was still there, it just took something to bring it out again.
Ritsuka groaned into the pillow. He turned his head and looked out onto the balcony. The drapes covered most of the glass doors, but there was a place where Ritsuka could look out. It was getting dark, the storm would come soon. He liked the rain, he found it relaxing for the most part. The sound caused him to be drowsy, and the smell was almost as nice as Soubi's. It used to be his favorite scent, but had been replaced and pushed to a close second. He hoped it would rain soon, it might be the only thing that could calm his restless mind.
He put his face into Soubi's pillow and tried to relax. Ritsuka had tomorrow off, and then he went for the final days of school before summer. It would be nice to spend a summer with someone who loved him. Yuiko and Yayoi wanted to hang out over the summer, they didn't want to fall apart too much. Ritsuka agreed to hang out as often as he could. If complications with his grandmother came up, he was expected to be part of the family, for the time being anyways. With any luck, Ritsuka would be able to move out and away from his mother before summer was over. He wondered what his father would think, he wasn't all that important but still. The summer was proving eventful, even before it started. Not to mention Soubi's gallery was opening soon, which was exciting for both of them.
At some point in Ritsuka's thoughts, Soubi had sat on the bed next to him. Probably grinning like he usually does. Ritsuka felt Soubi's hand rubbing his back under his shirt. It felt good, Soubi's hand was warm against Ritsuka's slightly cold back.
"You must be cold Ritsuka."
"Not any more..." Ritsuka murmured and Soubi smiled a little. The boy squirmed a little, and Soubi got the hint and removed his hand. Ritsuka rolled over and sat up, he looked at Soubi and leaned against his shoulder. He wanted to be close to him, that's all that mattered. To be close to him.
"You alright Ritsuka?"
"Yeah...I've just got a lot on my mind."He closed his eyes and relaxed. "I'm just trying to decide what to do."
"About what?" Soubi pressed for a little bit of information, not wanting to upset him, but wanting to understand.
"My mom," Ritsuka sighed and Soubi nodded. "You smell like paint Soubi."
"I just finished painting, can't help it." Ritsuka smiled a little.
"You finish your project?"
"Yeah, I did actually."
"When do I get to see it?"
"Whenever you'd like, it's in the studio. I'm not fully happy with it but then again I never am."
"Your too picky, that's all." Soubi was about to respond when the phone rang. "You should go answer the phone." Ritsuka said shifting off of his shoulder. Soubi nodded, and started to leave. As soon as Soubi was out of sight, Ritsuka flopped on his back and sighed. Things were so slow, and he was getting tired. Soubi seemed tired too, he worked hard all day. Hopefully they would be able to go to bed earlier then they usually did on Saturdays.
Soubi's voice echoed through the quiet house, he was talking to someone. Probably Kio calling and asking for something, or inviting them to do something. Kio had accepted that Ritsuka and Soubi were joined at the hip and if you invited one, you should make the offer for the other to come as well. Kio had also started getting to be friends with Ritsuka, so it wasn't a big deal anymore. His thoughts were interrupted by a yawn proving he really was tired. He wanted to crawl under the covers with Soubi and rest for the night. For now, he would have to try and stay awake for a bit longer, he wanted to see the rain.
The air started to cool off, it didn't feel all that much cooler due to the humidity that came with summer. Especially before a storm, things almost became unbearable. Ritsuka got off of the bed to go change out of his uniform. It was uncomfortable for the most part, and he just hadn't had the chance to change since he had gotten home. The wood floor was surprisingly cold against his feet, it sent shivers through his body as his flesh first met the floor. Shaking it off, he gingerly walked across the cold floor. He shuffled through his clothing, trying to find something to wear and once he found something suitable, he began to change. His pants slid off with ease, and slipping into his jeans was just as easy. His tie also came off easier than he had expected, he always had issues getting it off. He began to unbutton his shirt, but found his hands to shaky to do anything that required coordination or small movements. He muttered in disapproval and tried again, with the same results. He leaned against the wall and sighed. Why was he shaking? There was no reason for him to be, and it was only irritating at best.
Soubi came upstairs, and saw Ritsuka against the wall, eyes closed and his ears flat against his head. He walked over, apparently silently, and kissed the boy's cheek. It must have startled him because he jumped a bit and his eyes shot open.
"Jeez Soubi, you scared me."
"Sorry, thought you heard me coming up the stairs."
"I didn't," He said relaxing again. Soubi noted the shirt in his hand, and smiled a little.
"Buttons giving you issues tonight?"
"Like you wouldn't believe. Guess I'll just leave it on," he said with hints of disgust in his voice. Soubi kissed Ritsuka's other cheek and smiled.
"You know, you could ask for help. I would be more than happy to help you."
"I know, your far to eager," Ritsuka teased. "But I guess I could use some help, my hands are really shaky tonight." Soubi smiled and swept the teen into a kiss. He got to feel Ritsuka tense up, and then slowly relax in his arms. His soft lips were warm, and much like those of an angels. Then there was his movements, shy and reserved. They were gentle, but they were proof that Ritsuka felt something for him, which gave him hope. Not to mention, a big ego boost as he realized that the cute little teen that held onto him was all his whether Ritsuka knew it or not.
Pressed against the wall, Ritsuka braced himself by holding onto the corner with his hand, the shirt he was holding fell to the ground. His hand that wasn't holding onto the wall to support him clung onto Soubi's shirt. He felt Soubi's hands against his chest, they were unbuttoning his shirt just as easily as his other clothing had come off. Why was it that his shirt was the only thing that hadn't come off? Was it symbolic for something? He was reading too much into it. It was because his hands were shaky. But, why were his hands shaky? He was barely able to support himself now, but that was because of Soubi's kiss. It was as overwhelming as the one earlier that morning. There was something different about this one though. It seemed...more meaningful. It was filled with more passion, more desire from both of them. Ritsuka wouldn't admit his want, his need for Soubi. No, he couldn't He just wasn't ready for that. Was he?
Luckily for him, this thoughts were interrupted as Soubi broke the kiss and began kissing his half bare chest. It was too much for Ritsuka to take. He became warm, as if Soubi's body heat was melting with his own. The hand that was holding onto Soubi pressed against the wall, it was holding him up. He couldn't stand on his own, not anymore. His mind went blank and his eyes closed as Soubi kissed his flesh. He hadn't experienced anything like this before. Soubi's lips made there way back up to his own lips again. His shirt was unbuttoned completely, but neither of them wanted the moment to end. Ritsuka's body seemed to move on it's own, his hands passed through Soubi's silky blonde hair while Soubi's hands wrapped around his waist, pulling him off the wall, holding his lower back gently yet firmly with his arms and hands.
As Soubi gained entrance into Ritsuka's mouth, some how the two of them ended on the bed with Ritsuka pressed against the mattress and Soubi holding himself above the teen. Ritsuka let his feelings take over, there was no need for thought, he was floating in what seemed to be heaven. Both of them wanted it, they both knew it, but uncertainty had stopped both of them from acting upon their wants. Ritsuka slid his hands up Soubi's shirt, not wanting to fiddle with the buttons on his shirt.
Soubi pulled off from the kiss, and looked down at Ritsuka. His cheeks looked flushed, and the heartbeat coming from below was rapid. Golden curtains hung from his own head and brushed across the teen's face.. He found violet eyes meeting his azure eyes. He smiled a little, and Ritsuka slid his hands out of his shirt an onto his face, brushing the hair off of his right shoulder and onto his left.
"Am I dreaming?" Soubi teased, almost sound serious.
"I don't think so, I'd hope not." Soubi kissed his cheek.
"You too cute sometimes, you know that? I can hardly control myself sometimes."
"I'm not asking you to, am I?" Ritsuka grinned and Soubi chuckled a little. "Sometimes I just wish you would just hold me more often, like you used to, I miss that. It's hard for me to under-" Soubi interrupted Ritsuka's mindless chatter by sweeping him into another kiss.
Within it, Ritsuka found the passion he had been looking for, the feeling that Soubi had seemed to have lost a year or two ago. It was back, and it overwhelmed him, it took his emotions and shook them up. With that kiss, he realized how much he missed having Soubi near him. He missed him holding him, stealing kisses, telling him how much he loved him. He knew that he was the reason Soubi had stopped, he had no one to blame but himself. He held onto Soubi's shirt and even though he was laying down, he felt like he was going to fall, or float away.
He didn't complain as Soubi began to nibble on his ear a little, he pink came to his cheeks and ran his fingers through Soubi's hair, finding a lock and twirling it in his finger gently, making sure not to pull. When he released the tension in his finger, which was keeping the hair together, it fell gracefully out of his finger.
"I love you Ritsuka," Soubi whispered in his ear. Ritsuka shivered a little bit, not in a bad way, but it seemed to fill his body. He heard it, he understood it, he felt it he knew it was true. He wanted to hear it, he wanted it.
"Soubi..."he barely managed to get out. "I..I l-"
"Sou-chan? You home?" a voice called followed by several bangs on the door. Soubi fell limp onto Ritsuka. Not crushing him, but his weight was defiantly there.
"Of all times, why NOW Kio?" Soubi muttered to himself. It was frustrating, Ritsuka was about to say it, and Kio just happened to barge in. Not that he was the only one peeved about the whole situation. Ritsuka sighed, a sign of frustration. The blonde smiled gently but. His head was against the teen's chest. He could hear his hear beating, his every breath. It was whimsical. He didn't really want to get up and leave the warmth they were sharing together. It was too much like a dream, and if he got up it, it would fade away and may never return.
Banging came from the door again, followed by Kio's yelling. Ritsuka closed his eyes, and stroked Soubi's head once, and then spoke.
"If you don't get the door, he'll break it down. Don't keep him waiting Soubi."
"Hmm..I'll take that risk." Ritsuka smiled.
"Just go alright? I'll be down in a few." Soubi sighed, knowing that Ritsuka would get mad if He didn't. He kissed Ritsuka on the cheek and murmured 'I love you' as he got up. He straightened his hair and clothing on the way down. Ritsuka laid on the bed, looking at he ceiling. His chest was bare, his mind was racing and he was flushed. Soubi was so close to him, he left his kisses lingering, where his hands touched him. It all seemed to never end, that feeling. That feeling he couldn't describe wouldn't go away. His heart was pounding, his hands were still shaking, his head was foggy causing his thoughts to blur and become unclear. His stomach churning he felt a little nauseated and he was tense. He couldn't stand it. He stood up and went onto the balcony, he wasn't tired anymore. Soubi had let Kio in by this time, they were discussing something by now.
The air was almost thick, it was cold and dense. It felt good though. Ritsuka inhaled and filled his lungs with the cold air, it smelled of rain. He exhaled, letting all the warmth out of him, he repeated his deep breathing a few more times to calm himself. He closed his eyes and let the wind blow across his face. It was already getting dark, despite the fact that it was still pretty early in the day. The storm coming in fast. He buttoned his shirt, and rolled up the sleeves. It was nice out, a little on the chilly side, but nice. It was nice to escape the heat for once.
Meanwhile, Soubi was inside talking with Kio.
"Hey Sou-chan, hope you weren't too busy. I though I would hang out." Soubi smiled, trying to seem pleasant. Kio would never let it down if he found out what he was upstairs doing just a few moments ago.
"Don't worry about it," he walked into the living room.
"Looks good, how long did it take you to get all of this done?'
"It's not, and pretty much all day. What were you up to?"
"Painting, I've got this huge thing due in like two weeks, I just started today too."
"You going to get it done?"
"Hope so." The balcony door opened and closed. "Is Ritsuka here?" Soubi nodded.
"His mom is out of town,I'm letting him stay here." Kio grinned.
"Your too cute Soubi, I still don't like what you two have, but it's kinda cute."
"I'm glad you think so." Kio laughed, he had a good sense of humor. Sometimes it was enough that you wondered if everything was funny to him.
"Oh," Kio said, calming his laughing. "Did you get your studio set up?"
"First thing I did. It's nice up there."
"You should show me." Kio said grabbing onto his hand. "Please?" Kio was able to whine, he had this certain ability to make himself sound like a little kid. Soubi sighed, he would have to, it was the only way to entertain him for now.
"Alright, lets go." Kio grinned and cheered, pulling Soubi upstairs. Kio saw Ritsuka out on the balcony, the wind gently blowing his hair and clothing while he gazed over the city.
"You know Soubi, Ritsuka can really be beautiful at times. He's a little feminine, but, he's something else. Your lucky." Soubi caught sight of what Kio did and nodded.
"He really is."
"Pervert. I know what you were thinking. You leave his ears alone!"
"That wasn't what I was thinking at all Kio, now come on, the studio is that way." he directed with his free hand. Too bad Kio was right. There was something that drew Soubi to his cat ears, he didn't want them to go away, but then again, he did. His ears were part of his innocence, part of what made him cute. People didn't appreciate their ears enough, they weren't around forever (usually anyway) and you couldn't get them back when they were gone. They were a sign of what was considered adulthood. According to Seimei, it wasn't loosing your ears that made you an adult, it was how you acted. There were few people who thought like this, few who agreed. Soubi agreed for the most part. It wasn't only the loss of your ears that made you an adult, it took much more than that. Soubi hadn't considered himself and adult when he shed his ears. He really wasn't considering how he lost them. It brought him to what Seimei had told him so long ago.
6 years ago...
"Soubi, your such a little kid, you know that right. Carry this for me." Seimei said handing his fighter some books.
"What do you mean by that?" Soubi learned not to take offense from what Seimei said. He was very blunt.
"Everyone said you became an adult at a young age and all, but you think like a little kid. It's annoying quite frankly." Seimei's ears folded against his head and he started to lead Soubi out into a field. Soubi obediently followed, without being told.
"I'm not that much older than you."
"There you go again. I'm not talking about age. I'm years more mature than you are, even if your older age wise than I am. It's a matter of mind frame, not age." Soubi nodded and listened as Seimei found shade to retreat into. Summer was hot this year, hotter than it had been the last few years.
"Like me little brother, Ritsuka. You remember him, right?"
"Yeah, he's 9, right?"
"Yes, my mother brought him to me as a gift. I love him Soubi. He's also quite mature for his age. In a lot of ways, he's more mature than you are." He said sitting down under a large tree. "It's cooler under here. Set those down and come sit next to me Soubi." He did as told, much like a dog. He would do anything Seimei told him. Anything. He didn't always understand how Seimei thought, it wasn't worth thinking of. It was pointless to thing about.
"Here, Soubi rest your head on my legs," Soubi did, "Close your eyes. Now, as I was saying, Ritsuka can be much more mature than you are. Ritsu disagrees, what do you think?" Seimei ran his thumb across the art that he had carved on his fighter. Soubi didn't flinch, he didn't open his eyes.
"I agree with you," he responded thoughtlessly. It didn't require though to answer his master, he was always right. Seimei laughed a little.
"I know you do. Ritsu thinks both Ritsuka and I are children, because we still posses our ears." Seimei ran his fingers through Soubi's hair, feeling where his ears would be if he still had them, he took a strand of his golden hair. "I think he's the child." A gentle breeze blew the meadow they were sitting in. A few petals from the daisies blew around. The whites and pinks spotted the green grass that stretched ahead. The school wasn't far away, but it seemed like miles the way they were sitting.
"Soubi, your just like him sometimes. It still disappoints me that he owns part of you."
"I'm sorry."
"I know you are. You'll repay me later. But really Soubi, the lack of ears doesn't make you an adult. No no, it's much more than that. Plus people trust you more if you still have you ears..." Seimei closed his eyes and laughed at himself. He sounded ridiculous. He looked down at Soubi's collar, it made Soubi his. Forever. Soubi was his fighter, and he knew he had another fighter. That meant he had two. Things would work out, his plan wouldn't fail.
"Come Soubi, Let's go find someone to fight. I'll figure out away for you to repay me later." As just like that, they were off to fulfill Seimei's desires.
--
"Sou-chan, your spacing again." Kio pinched his cheek. Soubi came back and pushed his friend's hand away.
"Hmm? Sorry, just remembering something."
"It smells like paint in here, I hope you open a window when your painting." Soubi looked into his studio. Kio turned on the light, revealing a well-lit room with art supplies all over. It was a large room, and the white walls made is seem very open. An easel stood in the center, with Soubi's most recent painting on it. A glass table sat next to it, with tubes of paint neatly organized on a lower shelf of the table. A stool sat next to the easel, it allowed Soubi to sit while he was painting, which was a relief since he painted for hours on end and if he stood he was always sore afterwards. A sink was placed into the counters that were against the back wall. There were paint brushes and rags next to the sink, the counters were pretty much clear. A few glass jars filled with paint brushes, a jug of what looked like water (they were actually mineral spirits) and a glass jar sitting next to the jug. A single vase littered the counters, nothing of interest, except for the vase which was completely random. Blank canvases of different sizes were held up by a wall, they sat there, waiting to be used. Next to them were finished paintings, or ones that were being finished. They were filled with color, and all seemed to be fighting for attention, but were all very typical Soubi style paintings. They were all beautiful.
"Yeah, I do. You'd get sick if you didn't." He waited for Kio to respond, but he didn't. A few moments passed before Kio said anything.
"Woah! This must be a nice place to paint!" Kio went into the room, to look at the paintings. He acted like a little kid. Soubi rolled his eyes as he watched. Kio looked at the painting on the easel.
"This is the one you mentioned, for your gallery! You did an amazing job, it's gorgeous!"
"Thanks," Soubi sighed. He had put tons of hours into that painting, he was proud of it.
"Has Ritsuka seen it yet?"
"Not yet, I'm sure he'll get around to it. It's the opening piece for the gallery as well. Plenty of chances." Kio grinned.
"So when is the opening? I'm coming, so you know."
"A week and a half, and of course your coming Kio. I was assuming you were coming anyway. I'll give you information later."
"I'm counting on it! Anyway, it's cold outside, and I'm still cold. Let's go put water on for something hot," Kio said, walking out of the studio and headed down for the kitchen. Soubi followed, glancing at the balcony as he went down. Ritsuka looked so calm, he'd be cold when he came in though. It might give Soubi a chance to hold him again. His thoughts were on Ritsuka, but he had to follow Kio to make sure he didn't break anything. Kio could be such a little kid, more than Seimei could understand.
Ritsuka stood on the balcony, fully unaware of the two inside. He had cooled off, and he had stopped shaking. His mind was still racing and foggy, but at least he felt a little better. He heard children laughing, they must be playing in the nearby playground. He smiled a little, children were lucky. They were so oblivious to the ugly in the world, they were free thinkers, no one has molded them into something other than themselves. Little kids never stayed little, they all grew up, they became aware. Ritsuka missed the days when he was little. Everything was better. He didn't remember much, he remembered his brother, the loving household. It hurt to think about it, being little didn't last long enough. Once you hit a certain point in your life, you begin to see all the hate, all the joy seems to fade. It's hard to live with
Rain hit his cheek, and he looked up. Little droplets fell and showered the earth below, Ritsuka decided that he didn't need another shower. He headed inside shivering, it must have been colder outside than he thought. He heard Soubi and Kio talking from the kitchen. Ritsuka was a little upset at Kio's timing, but also a little grateful. Who knows what would have happened if Kio hadn't shown up.
He heard Soubi laugh, it was nice to hear him happy. He went to go see what they were up to. It wasn't hard finding them, Ritsuka was comfortable in Soubi's house, and had learned how voices sound in different rooms. Kio said something, and Ritsuka followed the voice. Soon enough he followed the voice into the kitchen.
"Ri-chan!" Kio said sounding very amused.
"Hey Kio." Ritsuka said keeping his voice calm. "What are you guys doing?"
"Boiling water, want something hot to drink?" Ritsuka looked over at the now quiet Soubi. He was smiling, it looked different than usual. He seemed like he was happy, truly happy. Ritsuka smiled at the sight of Soubi's and nodded to Kio.
"Alright, I'll get you something then. Soubi, where's the stuff?"
"Over there. I set it out already." Ritsuka plopped himself down on one of the stools. Kio fumbled with cups and a few other things. Ritsuka didn't really care about Kio right now, he was focusing on Soubi. He watched the other man talk, his movements, the way he acted. It was all mesmerizing. Soubi stood in the corner of the counters, leaning against them. His arms were crossed, his hair loose and draping over his left shoulder. His face was free from the glasses that usually sat on his face. Ritsuka liked it better when Soubi didn't wear those glasses, they messed with the way he looked.
Soubi looked over and met Ritsuka's gaze. Immediately Ritsuka looked away and turned slightly red in the cheeks. Soubi grinned and walked over to where the teen was sitting. Kio was busy pouring water and reading directions. Soubi kissed Ritsuka's cheek and grinned.
"I know what your thinking Soubi, don't say it," Ritsuka whispered with a sort of warning yet teasing voice.
"You do? I'm surprised," Soubi whispered back. "I think I'll save my comment for later then."
"Thank you." Soubi leaned closer to his ear.
"I so saw you checking me out."
"Soubi!" Ritsuka said louder than he meant his face filling with color. "I was not," this time his voice was softer. Luckily Kio didn't seem to hear him.
"I saw you doing it, don't be afraid to admit it."
"Dork," Ritsuka said, "That's not what I was doing." Soubi kissed him again, short and sweet.
"Hey, stop making out and lets go watch the movie," Kio scolded them. Ritsuka's face was red still, and Kio's comment didn't help much. Soubi grinned and took two of the mugs which contained a hot drink to warm them all up. Ritsuka muttered something under his breath and followed the other two out into the living room.
Ahhh! I finally finished! Sorry about the delay. I've been pretty busy with life and all. It's fall break this week. I'm hoping to get ahead a few chapters and post them up later. Key word hoping. Sorry for any mistakes, I'm working on it! And this chapter seems shorter than usual, strange. Hope you enjoyed the chapter! :3 I really dislike the no tabs thing. I love my tabs...
Hideyo
