Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek TNG or any of its original characters.
To my readers: Thank you for the reviews! They are Wonderful! It is so much fun to be able to hear what you are thinking while you read it.
Will didn't sleep that night. His thoughts were racing and even as he tossed and turned in his bed, he knew it was hopeless. All he could see was Deanna smiling at Worf, and then his imaginary image of her, sad and upset the following night at her birthday celebration. Wasn't there a way to show them that they weren't compatible that wouldn't hurt her, especially on her birthday, and in front of her friends?
Finally Will gave up and climbed out of bed and went out and sat on his couch. He saw Deanna's wrapped present leaning against the wall in the corner, and he walked to it and began to carefully unwrap it. He propped the painting on top of his desk and returned to his seat on the couch. He stared into the swirly paint blobs and tried to clear his mind the way Deanna had taught him so very long ago. Maybe the answer was in the painting. Maybe it would speak to his soul somehow…
Will looked until his eyes were blurry, but all it managed to do was churn up old emotional memories of Deanna. He put his head down on his couch and rubbed at his aching eyes. He missed her. He missed his friend. But he missed more than that. He missed the way she smiled at him, the touch of her skin against his, he missed her smell, the soft lilt to her voice, her laughter over something he had said or done. He missed the feeling of her hair against his face, the feeling of her in his arms. What was it he wanted? Did he want things back the way they were? Or did he want something more?
Slowly he drifted off to a fitful sleep, but still his mind churned with images of Deanna…Deanna in his arms, kissing her, making love to her…but then everything morphed and changed and she was with Worf, kissing him, making love to him.
Will sat straight up, wide-awake and breathing hard. He put his face in his hands and groaned. I'd rather stay awake, he thought. He looked back at the Betazoid painting and studied it for a while longer before he tried to rewrap it like it had been. It didn't look quite right, but he was deliriously tired. It always amazed him how emotional turmoil could exhaust him more than any amount of strenuous physical activity.
It was 03:00 hours. He went in and took a shower and read through some work files. By 05:00 he gave up and headed to the bridge, relieving the gamma shift commander early and taking his seat. He hoped that once he was at work, his mind would be able to focus on something other than the tug of war between doing something to salvage the would be birthday disaster and letting nature take its course.
Unfortunately, the day was slow, and nothing about the astronomical readouts of the nearest star systems did anything to divert his attention away from his mental dueling match. Was it really right to lie to her, just to make her happy? And for how long? A day, a week? It didn't seem like the right call, but the other option made him feel horrible. By midday he realized he was counting time to the moment of the party. Seven hours until I have to have made a decision. By the time he walked to engineering to review a personnel transfer with Commander Laforge it was only four hours and by the time he got off duty and headed back to his quarters it was only two.
Still as he paced back and forth across his front room, he had no answers. "This isn't my job to fix," he said out loud, though he was alone in his quarters. "Just let it take its natural course. That's the best thing. Don't get involved." He continued to pace. "But you are involved, you idiot. You stood there and watched him buy a gift she hates and you didn't do anything." He sighed. "Why did I have to see his gift? And why am I talking to myself like a crazy person?" he asked gesturing with his hands. "See what she's done? Her and the crazy Klingon…they have actually driven me crazy!" Will shook his head and walked over to the replicator for a glass of water. "She said once that you're not crazy until you start answering yourself," he said sitting down at his table. "So I think I'm still okay. Okay, except someone hit me in the head with a gargantuan bottle of cheap perfume," he said rubbing his temple. "Oh," he said putting his forehead down on the table's cool surface, "what am I going to do?"
He was still arguing with himself as he picked up the painting in its slightly shambled wrapping and carried it out of his quarters. It wasn't particularly heavy, but it was a bit awkward as he tried to maneuver through the ship's corridors.
"See, that's why you get something small," Geordi said to Data as they rounded the corner and saw Will struggling around people in the corridor.
"So you picked something?" Will asked as they all approached the turbo lift together.
Geordi held up a small wrapped box.
"How about you, Data?" Will asked.
"I selected a book of poetry by a well known Torsian poet of their 12th century."
Okay, maybe Worf and Data would tie. Will only nodded.
"Are you alright, Sir?" Geordi asked. "You look exhausted."
"I didn't sleep much last night," Will admitted. "Can I ask you something?" he asked as the turbo lift doors slid open. "Do you think one bad choice makes you a bad person? Or is it just a bad choice? I mean, you can't judge someone on just one action. Can you? And whose to even say it's the wrong choice? Maybe it's the right choice? Right?"
Geordi and Data looked at one another as if they did not know what to say in response.
"In some situations, Sir, it would appear that there may not be a right or wrong, simply two different choices," Data offered. "Deck 10," Data spoke to the computer and the lift began its short decent.
"Exactly! In which case, I can't make a wrong choice? Right? It's just a choice. And maybe she wouldn't even want me to drag it out. Maybe she would rather have it be quick and clean."
"Commander, I have no idea what you're talking about," Geordi admitted. "Are you sure you're alright?"
"No! I spent the last two hours talking to myself like a crazy person and I still don't know what the hell I should do!"
Data and Geordi only watched the Commander puzzled by his odd behavior, as he seemed to fume in the lift. "And we're all supposed to yell surprise in what, five minutes?" Will asked.
"Seven minutes, 8 seconds. Assuming that Counselor Troi arrives on time," Data clarified for them all.
"Okay," Will said with a sigh. "One more question." Will turned to look at both of them as the turbo lift slowed to a stop. "You are planning a birthday party for Deanna Troi. What kind of cake do you order?"
"Chocolate," Geordi and Data answered almost in unison.
"Thank you!" Will said picking up his present again and walking out of the lift feeling very vindicated. Geordi and Data on the other hand looked at one another puzzled. Then Geordi gave a quick shrug and they followed him towards ten forward.
"There you are!" Beverly cried when the three of them walked in the door. She was standing on a chair hanging the end of a banner. "You sure took your time."
"Oh come on, Doc. We beat the birthday girl," Geordi told her placing his gift on the table with the others. "Where is she anyway?"
"She has an appointment until 18:55, then she will make her log and then she is supposed to meet me here for dinner." Worf informed them.
"I don't know why we try to plan surprise parties for her," Beverly chimed in. "You know she knows, right?" she said to Worf.
"You said a surprise party, not me. I do not believe in surprising people unless it gives you a strategic advantage."
"Oh, calm down, Doctor," the captain said helping Beverly down from her chair. "She may already know, but I am sure she appreciates the effort of trying to surprise her."
The entire senior staff was now there, except of course for Deanna. And there were a few other friends of Deanna's milling about the room. It wasn't a large party.
But sure to be interesting, Will thought as he placed his gift so it leaned against the table where the other gifts had been placed. On the opposite side, tucked in the back, Will saw the box with the large bow that Worf had carried from the store and he sighed.
She's gonna hate it. She's gonna hate it and it is gonna ruin her birthday. Maybe they aren't compatible; maybe they should figure it out on their own. But does it have to be today? It's her birthday! Will hung his head with a heavy sigh, then looked from the door Deanna was bound to walk through any minute and back to Worf. He had to do something.
"Worf," he called.
Worf turned from what he was doing to face the first officer.
"Can I talk to you for a minute," he glanced quickly at their friend that were all now watching him. "Alone?"
"Commander, Deanna is due to arrive any minute. Can it wait?" Worf asked him, looking to the door much as Will just had.
"Yeah," Will began almost relieved to have an excuse to do nothing. Then he sighed again. "No, actually it can't," he said just as Worf was turning away from him.
Worf turned back to face Will, and he looked slightly annoyed. "What is it?" he asked.
Will looked around again. Geordi and Data stood together watching him, as did the doctor and the captain. This was not how he pictured doing this…
"Can we…" he nodded away from the group with his head.
"Commander, it is two minutes to 19:00 hours. Does it really need to be addressed now?" Worf asked insistently.
Will closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath. Two minutes, he thought. And he was still making his decision.
"Apparently," he answered as he quickly cleared his throat. He couldn't quite believe what he was about to do. "Give me the card on your gift," he said.
"Why would I do that?" Worf asked skeptically.
"Because we're trading gifts."
Worf looked at him skeptically. "And why would we trade gifts?"
This is not going to be easy. "Couldn't you just take it on blind faith?" Will asked hopefully.
"No." Worf folded his arms across his chest and glared at his commanding officer.
"Don't hit me," Will offered in a preemptive strike.
"I will not promise that." Worf said, his voice just shy of a growl.
Will hung his head and covered his face with his hands. "Ahhh!" he cried in sheer frustration with himself. He dropped his hands and looked back at Worf. "She hates your gift," he said bluntly.
"You said you would not tell her," Worf began defensively.
"I didn't tell her. I just know she hates it."
"Just because you do not believe..."
"She HATES your gift!" Will tried again more emphatically. "That perfume her mother gave her…She hated it from the moment her mother handed it to her. It didn't spill. She dumped it out. She only left enough of it so she could wear it occasionally when her mother was around so she would lay off about finding a suitable man and getting married and having babies. She doesn't wear it on special occasions. She only wears it around her mother. She hates the smell of it. She hates the bottle…She just hates it." He said, his tone falling as he finished. He almost winced as he looked back to where Worf stood.
"You were there when…"
"I know," Will interrupted him. "I know. I know. I am a horrible person. Okay? I admit it. I know you think I'm just being a jerk, and you're not that far off. Yesterday and the day before…then I was being a jerk. You just didn't know it. I was going to just sit back and watch you give her a gift I knew she was going to hate. I was even taking immense amounts of pleasure in it, I promise you. But now, I'm trying to fix it. I am trying not to be a jerk. It just seems like I am. Ironic really," Will tried to lighten the mood a bit, but it wasn't going to work for him.
If Worf was hurt that Will had just told him that he had picked the wrong gift, he hid it well under a mask of sheer annoyance.
"So you are just going to switch the cards and what? You want me to lie to her?"
"Yes!" Will said with a snap and point of his finger.
"No," Worf said simply shaking his head.
"You would rather give her perfume she hates," Will said baffled.
"How will lying make it better?"
"It's better because in my version, you give her a gift she loves as opposed to something she hates. See how that's better?"
"And what is it that you propose that I give her?" Worf asked him gesturing towards the gift next to Will.
"It's a painting," Will told him. Worf didn't seem satisfied with that answer. But Will couldn't help but feel they were running out of time. Now instead of Deanna disliking her boyfriend's gift she was going to walk in and find the two of them yelling at each other over her table of gifts. Somehow Will didn't see that making the night go any better.
"It's a painting of paint globs that don't look like anything, alright?" Will said quickly, starting to loose his patience.
"And she LOVES these paint globs?" Worf asked skeptically.
"No, I got her a painting she hated and now I'm trying to pawn it off on you! Just give me the damn card!" Will held out his hand, but Worf made no move.
"What is its name?"
"What?"
"The painting. What is the name of the painting?"
Will took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm down his frustration, but he spoke quickly. "It doesn't have a name. Apparently naming a painting would be pretentious, assuming that what the painting said to you would be the same thing that it said to others," Will rattled off a speech that Deanna had given him years before to the best of his recollection. "I personally find it pretentious to not name the damn thing in the first place, but nobody asked me. It hangs in the Betazoid Museum of Fine Art…" Will closed his eyes trying to remember. "Third room on the right, second painting in on the east wall. She used to go stare at the thing for hours. Supposedly if you clear your mind and I don't know…stare at it long enough it will reveal the mysteries of the universe or something. But to be honest I spent at least four hours staring at the thing last night and I got nothing. Happy?"
Worf kept a steady scowl directed towards him, but his voice was staying far calmer than Will's. "Not particularly," he answered.
"Will you give me the card now?"
"She will never believe that I chose that," Worf said pointing at the painting.
"Tell her I helped you pick it out," Will offered.
"More lies."
Will rolled his eyes. "Yes, Worf. I want you to lie to her. I've been doing it pretty solidly for four months," he said bitterly. He tried to lower his voice. "Sometimes we lie to people we care about to make them happy."
"She will know we are lying," Worf said insistently.
"No she won't."
"Yes, she will!"
Will lowered his voice. It was the truth, but not easy to say. "She'll believe what she wants to believe. She wants to believe I'm fine with the two of you. And she wants to believe that you got her something she will love, because you know her well enough to pick out something special."
The room was deathly quiet for a moment while Worf stared Will down.
When he spoke, his voice was fierce, but quiet. "And she will like my gift better if you give it to her?"
"I…" Will shrugged. "I can pull it off as a gag. You can't."
That seemed to irritate Worf more than the rest, which only baffled Will more.
Will looked back at the door once more.
"Why?" Worf asked him.
Will looked back to where Worf stood. "Why what?"
"You would win. You give her a gift she loves and I get her something she hates. Why would you do this?" Worf asked him honestly.
"It's her birthday," Will told him with another shrug.
"And you would do this to make her happy?" Worf asked.
Will took the card off his own gift and held it out to Worf. "I'd do anything for her," he said softly.
Worf looked from the card in Will's hand to Will to the door that Deanna would walk through at any moment. Will pushed the card closer to him, and reluctantly Worf reached up and took the card from him. Slowly he took his card out from under the overly large bow and replaced it with Will's and then held his card out to Will.
Will quickly snatched the card from Worf's hand and almost slammed it onto the wrapped painting just as he heard the doors slide open behind him and the others in the room holler "Surprise!"
If the rest of the guests had a reaction to the scene they had witnessed prior to Deanna's entrance, they did an expert job of covering it.
"You knew, right?" Beverly asked Deanna about the 'surprise' as they ate cake.
Deanna smiles slyly and looked to see if Worf was listening. She wrinkled her nose in a perfectly adorable expression and nodded. "But it was fun watching him give it his best shot," she told those that were close around her as she looked over to where Worf stood, isolated slightly from the others, staring out into space.
Will had also seemed to isolate himself from the main group. He watched intently from a safe distance. She seemed to be having a good time, and that was enough for him.
"Okay, Worf," Beverly called over to the window. When he looked over to her, she gestured to the presents with a nod of her head.
"Presents?" Deanna said rubbing her hands together excitedly.
The guests gathered around her as she opened each gift and thanked the giver. Beverly had given her a basket full of bath items, bubble bath and creams and who knew what else. She and Deanna laughed. Geordi had finally decided on a different pair of earrings than the ones that Will had seen. They were nice. The color of the stones complimented Deanna's skin.
She held them up to her ears and smiled. "Thank you Geordi. I know how you hate picking out presents," she told him teasingly.
She opened Data's book next. Will recognized a look of slight confusion on her face, but he thought he might have been the only one to notice it. "Thank you Data," she said leaning over and kissing him lightly on the cheek. "I'm sure I will enjoy reading it."
Beverly was handing her the gifts and Will saw her hesitate before handing her the box containing what had been Worf's gift that now held Will's card.
Deanna took the card and read it. Then she looked up and met Will's eyes. He took a deep breath. He was going to have to put on a show if she was going to buy it. "Do I get a hint?" she asked him.
"Just open the box," he told her.
Deanna untied the bow and lifted the lid off the box. She slammed the lid back on the box and looked back up at Will with a sarcastic look of disgust. "Funny," she told him.
"A little birdie told me it spilled," Will said trying to keep a playful smile on his face.
"You are such a brat. What am I supposed to do with this?"
Will winked at her and kept his smile plastered to his lips.
Deanna took the lid off the box and took the bottle out to show the others. "Commander Riker thinks he is so entertaining," Deanna told everyone.
Will looked around the room and saw the others shift slightly and look mildly uncomfortable, though they did their best to smile. Worf, for the first time, looked upset. He was standing behind Deanna slightly, so he did not bother with the pretense of a pleasant expression. Will guessed that it was his accuracy at predicting her reactions more than her words that had gotten to Worf in the end.
"My mother gave me a bottle just like this, except she wasn't joking. Ahh, it's hideous," she said looking at the bottle. "Do I get a real present?" she asked looking at Will.
"That is your real present," he told her. "And I expect you to wear it, every day until the bottle is empty."
"Right, sure," she told him teasingly. "I'm going to give it to the next woman you go out with."
"Cute," he replied as she placed the bottle back into the box.
"Next gift," Beverly handed Deanna the last of the gifts on the table, eager to have the awkward moment gone.
Deanna looked at the wrapped gift that was quite obviously a book. She read the card and looked at the captain. "A sweater?" she asked facetiously, before peeling the wrapping back. She read the title and the forward quickly. "Fascinating," she said mostly to herself. "Thank you captain," she stood and hugged the captain and kissed him on the cheek as well. "I can't wait to read it."
"I expect a full report," he told her and she smiled back at him.
"One more," Beverly said pointing to the painting resting against the table.
Without even seeing the card, she looked back at Worf and smiled.
Come on, play your part, Will thought to Worf. And on cue, Worf stepped forward and kindly placed the painting in front of her. She took the card and read it to herself. Whatever it said earned him another smile, and then she tore the paper away to reveal the framed painting underneath.
The room had fallen completely silent, watching the reaction of not only Deanna, but Will and Worf as well.
Deanna let out a tiny gasp as she saw what was under the paper and her hand flew up to cover her mouth as if the noise had surprised her. Will watched as her eyes began to glisten with tears. They were happy tears and Will felt a genuine smile cross his face.
"I love it," Deanna whispered. "It's perfect." She stared at the painting for another few moments. Then she sniffed softly and wiped at a tear. She turned to Worf at her side and threw her arms around his neck as she hugged him. "Thank you," she told him.
Will closed his eyes and turned away slightly. He felt like his heart was being torn out, and everyone in the room knew it, except for her. He looked down at the floor and took a deep breath trying to plaster the smile back onto his face. But when he looked back, he saw the concerned, even saddened expressions on his friend's faces looking back at him. He didn't look back at the couple to see what Worf was doing. He didn't want to know.
The party went on as people laughed and talked. Eventually Deanna made her way over to where Will sat at a table alone. She walked up behind his chair and hugged him around the neck. "I forgive you for your ghastly gift," she told him softly. "And I know you must have helped Worf pick the painting."
"No, I didn't" he answered hoping that some part of that answer was honest.
"Liar," she told him, sitting down in the chair next to him. "And it's okay. It actually makes it even better," she said reaching out and putting her hand over his that rested on the table. She looked into his eyes and he tried desperately to hide what he was feeling from her.
She tipped her head to one side and smiled gently at him. "What? What is it?" she asked.
Will just shook his head. He needed something purely honest to tell her and fast. "I'm just glad that you are having a happy birthday," he said.
That seemed to satisfy her. She smiled back and leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you," she told him. "Love you." She was starting to rise and walk away to visit with another guest.
"I love you," Will said quietly, far more sincere than her simple endearment, but if she heard him she did not respond.
The group was listening to Deanna tell a story as the hour grew late. When the story was through, Geordi stepped forward to hug her. "I had better go. We are starting the coupling retrofits at 06:00, and it's getting late," he told her.
"Thank you Geordi," Deanna said returning his hug. "I really do love the earrings."
"Good night, Counselor," he told her stepping back.
"I'm right behind you," Will said seizing the opportunity for a graceful exit.
"You're leaving too?" Deanna asked, seeming disappointed.
"You heard him," Will said motioning to Geordi as he walked closer to her. "It's getting late. And I'm not as young as I used to be. Of course, neither are you."
Deanna slapped him in the abdomen with the back of her hand. "Thanks a lot."
But Will ignored her and leaned in and kissed her lightly on the cheek. "Happy Birthday Dea. You deserve it."
Deanna kissed him in return with her hand on his arm. Her hands lingered as if she wanted him to stay, but Will was anxious to have it over with.
"Good night," she said with a hint of sadness in her tone.
"See you in the morning," he said simply as he turned and walked out behind the chief engineer.
It wasn't long before the others had also returned to their respective quarters, leaving Worf and Deanna gathering the gifts to carry back to her quarters. Worf turned to find Deanna looking affectionalty at the painting leaning against the wall. He studied her for a moment before approaching, his heart heavy.
She was still smiling, but somehow she didn't seem happy.
"Is something wrong?" Worf asked her as he approached her.
Deanna shrugged. "It was a lovely party," she told him. "It's just that everyone's emotions seemed so…I don't know, jumbled. I guess I thought that our friends…by now…"
As he came up behind her, Deanna turned and hugged him again. " It doesn't matter," she told him. "I really do love the painting. I know just where I want to put it."
"Where?" Worf asked curiously. To him, it was not a particularly attractive piece of art.
"In my room, to the left of my bed. It just needs a light to accent it. Don't you think?" she asked, her arms still dangling around his neck as they both looked at the piece of art.
"I know Will must have helped you choose it," she whispered. "And it only makes it mean more to me. It is the best gift you could have chosen. Thank you." Deanna pressed her lips to his tenderly, but she quickly increased the intensity.
Worf wanted to respond in kind to her actions. He soaked in the feel of her quickly; her touch and taste against his mouth, memorizing it, before he reached behind his own neck and disentangled her arms to gently pull her away from him.
"Deanna," he began quietly. "I think we should talk."
