Bah. It's American Idol time. So you can't really blame me.
After 30 minutes of hell, Shikamaru was finally giving his pilates instructor a scowling goodbye. When she had gone, Shikaku turned to Shikmaru, beaming.
"Now that wasn't too bad, was it?" He asked, clapping a hand on Shika's shoulder. Shika shrugged it off and looked at Choji, unconscious on the ground. He nudged him with his foot. All he did was flop on his other side like a dead fish. Ew.
Across the village from the Nara household, Naruto was being treated to ramen by Iruka. Iruka was wincing and crying inwardly as Teuchi placed Naruto's twenty-third bowl in front of him.
"Hey, uh, Naruto, why don't you slow down a bit? You don't want to overdo it and get sick, do you?" Iruka asked tentatively.
"Oh, please. I'm the best ninja in the village, the most amazing person you'll ever meet! I can handle anything," Naruto boasted. He then threw up all the ramen.
"Naruto you idiot! I told you to take it easy! A ninja knows when to stop pushing himself, when he's reached his limits. Like Shikamaru in his battle against Temari." Like I've said before, it's my fanfic, I'll write whatever the hell I want. If Shikamaru is going to be presented as amazing, deal with it.
"Hmph!"
Sakura was walking down the street, humming to herself when she heard an outburst from Ichiraku Ramen. Upon hearing Naruto's name, she shrugged and kept walking. She was outside Aho Tea when she found herself facing none other than Ino.
"Why, if it isn't billboard-brow!" Ino jeered, smirking as a deep red tinge appeared in Sakura's cheeks. She placed her hands on her hips and sneered at Sakura, who had balled her hands into fists.
"Ino pig, if you don't get out of my way I'll make you," Sakura growled, her nails cutting into her palms. When Ino laughed and took a step closer to Sakura, she felt the muscles in her right arm tense up.
"Empty words, billboard-brow. You couldn't make me even if I let you. You're just a sad, weak, pathetic little - -"
Whatever Ino had been about to say, Sakura never knew, because just at that moment, the vicious cat that killed me and Ritsuka fell from the sky on top of Ino's head. She let out a yell of surprise and fear, and then the cat basically killed her. I won't go into all the gory details, but if you would like to see what the evil cat is capable of, go on YouTube and search "Cat Soup," by Smosh.
Then a house dropped from a tornado in the sky, and when the house hit the ground, all the scary little munchkins from the Wizard of Oz ran out, formed a circle around dead Ino, held hands, and began singing "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead." It was pretty darn amazing.
After the creepy munchkins are done singing, Simon, Paula, and Randy appeared at their little judging table in front of the munchkins. Randy was making a peace sign with his fingers and exclaimed, "Dawg, that was awesome." Paula was crying and waving her arms in the air, lost for words. Simon had his arms crossed and was leaned back in his chair. He took a deep breath, and said, "I'm going to be honest with you – that was truly awful. It was a totally wrong song for your high pitched voices, the dancing didn't help at all, and none of you were really keeping time. All in all, it was a truly horrendous performance." I applaud you, Simon.
All the little munchkins were crying and holding onto each other. Simon was pelted with tomatoes.
Sakura stood there, her mouth hanging open and her arms limp at her sides. Then she passed out. At least she didn't start crying.
