Soooo I'm waiting for my dad to get out of the shower so me, my mom, and my older sister can go stuff our faces with Chinese food. Coincidentally, Rush Hour 2 is on!! And I was all, "But Dad! If you called them and ordered the food, you could go pick it up and speed back here, and we could watch Jackie Chan and the funny-voiced guy kick Asian butt!" But he is in a bad mood and shot that down :( So Imma write a fanfic while I wait. Enjoy! OR ELSE.
Well, not really 'OR ELSE.' I mean, what can I do to you? Flame you over the computer? THAT'S mature. But I can't hunt you down and gut you like a fish. Soooo if you don't review, I say 'Poo you!' If you do review, and review nicely, I will give you a virtual hug and maybe virtually bake you a virtual cake. Sound good? 'Course it does.
Kakashi drummed his fingers on the counter, looking agitated. He sighed impatiently and looked up eagerly every time the door clanged open, but his pretty face fell every time.
Kurenai finally walked through the door, her red eyes narrowed. "What do you want, Kakashi?" she asked, raising her eyebrow at the odd show-girl headdress that he wore. He clapped his hands upon seeing her and rushed forward to shake her hand. Kurenai yanked her hand away and placed both hands on her hips, scowling. "I broke off plans with Asuma to come see you. What do you want?"
Kakashi gnawed on his lip under his mask and fiddled with the headdress. "Well, uh, you see, I was given this headdress by a very, very important person. They seem to think it's my style. And then, they told me if I tried to destroy it, I would burst into powder. So, I was wondering if you wanted it. 'Cause I really can't afford to burst into powder. So whadda ya sa— Kurenai!"
She had turned away at the first mention of 'powder' and was striding to the door. Kakashi ran after her and jumped in front of her, on his knees, hands clasped together.
"Kurenai, please!" Kakashi gasped, grabbing the front of her dress.
"Kakashi, let go!" Kurenai cried, backing away quickly. But Kakashi crawled after her, the headdress drooping close to one side of his head, in danger of falling off.
"Kurenai, you can just take it from me and stash it in a cupboard or something! If someone sees it, they might think it's weird, but they won't question your sexuality, as they would if they found it in my possession! And I cannot afford to be thought of as gay!" No offense to you gay people out there. "So please, Kurenai, please!"
Kurenai shook her head vigorously, one foot held out in front of her like a shield. "Come any closer and I will kick you in the face," she said warningly.
But Kakashi still crawled forward, foaming slightly at the mouth. "Kurenai, just take the headdress! Put it on for Asuma, and do a little dance for him! I don't know! Just don't leave me with it! I trust you, so I don't think you would take a hammer to it just so I'd die! If I leave it in a dumpster or something, someone might destroy the awful thing, and I'd die! Kurenaiiiii! Don't do this to meeeee!" Kakashi screeched, twitching so badly he fell over and began writhing on the floor.
"You are so messed up, Kakashi. So messed up." Kakashi let out a caw and inched closer to her. True to her word, Kurenai swung her foot out, but Kakashi collapsed on the floor, so Kurenai's foot connected with the headdress, and it flew across the room. . . .
Just then, Kabuto walked into the shop, humming a Spice Girls song to himself. The headdress bashed into the wall, just as he entered the shop, and the headdress exploded into six pieces. Kakashi watched all of this, and screamed when the headdress fell to the ground, destroyed. He curled into the fetal position, waiting to explode to powder, and said his dying wish. But after a few seconds of non-powderization, he looked up, and saw that where Kabuto had been standing, there was now a pile of powder.
I hate Kabuto. A lot. So I changed the story, just for him :)
"I'M NOT DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAD!!" Kakashi cried, jumping up and doing a little dance. Kurenai stood there for a moment, taken aback, then shook her head and walked out the shop, pausing to bash Kakashi across the head, but he didn't notice; he was far too busy rejoicing.
While Kakashi was busy dancing around random people in the streets, shrieking, "I'm alive! I'm alive! I'm going to bother you because I can, because I AM ALIIIIVE!" Rock Lee was across town, singing along to pre-creeper Michael Jackson.
Just thought you should know.
When Kakashi was done harassing strangers, he ran back to his house, burst through his door, ran to his windowsill, and scooped up Mr. Ukki. He then danced around his bedroom, talking animatedly to Mr. Ukki, telling the plant about his adventures that day: Molding clay pots with Gai, flicking peas at people's heads in the movie theater, coming across the headdress, not dying when the headdress exploded, and then bothering random people. Mr. Ukki was silent, but Kakashi knew the plant was ecstatic about his exciting day.
Later that night, Kakashi fell asleep, holding Mr. Ukki with a giant smile beneath his mask, and dreamed happy dreams of Mr. Ukki doing the conga wearing a show-girl headdress and Kurenai carving Kabuto's face into a tree.
I do not know. Just . . . just don't ask.
