Bahahahaha! This is how I imagine I would deal with a skiing adventure. These poor, poor characters that I'm embarrassing! Can you imagine what their lives would be like if I actually owned them? CRAZY!!
Btw – this is post Chunin exams. Well . . . that's what I'm saying. So ha.
"Naruto, are you honestly still trying to get the skis on?" Sakura asked, lifting her snow goggles off her eyes.
"THE STUPID THINGS WON'T STAY ON!!"
Sakura clicked her tongue impatiently. "You are such an idiot! Sasuke did it perfectly!" she snapped, but flashed a smile at Sasuke, who was standing a few feet away on the snow, skis and goggles on, hands in pockets.
A blur of green, silver, and blue shot past them, skidding neatly to a stop in front of Naruto and Sakura. He wasn't using any ski poles.
"Naruto," the skier said, sliding his dark goggles up on the right side, "the instructor showed you how to put the skis on. Did you listen or not?"
"Of course he didn't listen, Master Kakashi," Sakura said, scowling at Naruto, who was now jumping up and down on his skis.
"Who," Naruto grunted, "would – want – to – slide – down – a – mountain – on – wooden – STICKS?!" he roared, trying to snap the skis over his knee.
"Naruto, please stop trying to break the skis. I'll show you how to put the skis on and how to move, alright?" Kakashi said, beckoning Naruto over to him. Naruto stomped over to Kakashi, muttering darkly the whole time.
Sakura whooshed over to Sasuke, batting her eyelashes and flipping her hair. She gave the zipper of her jade-green snowsuit a tweak and simpered, "Sasuke, you're the smoothest skier! Where did you learn? Do you think you could give me a few tips?"
Sasuke only grunted and glared at the snow, as if it had greatly offended him. Sakura ignored this and continued.
"Now, don't go thinking too badly of me when you see me skiing, alright, Sasuke? I'm not too bad, but no one compares to you! And I told you that snowsuit would look great on you, didn't I? You made a great choice buying it; you just look so good in dark blue! It really is your color! Only Naruto would pick orange," she said, rolling her eyes. Her eyes narrowed as she watched Kakashi kindly showing Naruto how to secure his skis, and her expression softened a bit. "To each their own, I suppose, though. . . ."
This caught Sasuke's attention, and he looked at Sakura shrewdly, then looked at Naruto. He's such a fool, he thought, trying not to smile.
Sakura and Sasuke watched Kakashi and Naruto for a few minutes, and Sakura clamped her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing when Naruto took a few shaky steps with his skis on and promptly toppled over, and Kakashi sighed and shook his head. "It's good Kakashi's a real patient guy, or else he'd skin Naruto alive, or he'd let us do it, eh?"
It had been meant as a rhetorical question, and Sasuke knew that. But he answered anyway. He actually opened up his mouth and said a word. Not a grunt, not a nod, not a belch (Yeah, I don't know), but he actually said a word.
"Yeah," he murmured, watching Kakashi kindly help Naruto stand upright.
Sakura whipped her head around so fast she cricked her neck. She stared at Sasuke in disbelief, her mouth hanging open. Did . . . did Sasuke just talk? Did he actually answer my question with a word? And I hadn't even meant for him to answer! But he did anyway! What on earth is going on?!
Sasuke didn't talk again for a while. When Naruto finally managed to move with his skis on, they all clambered onto the ski left, Sasuke and Sakura, and Kakashi and Naruto – Kakashi was with Naruto so he could catch the kid if Naruto managed to topple off the lift. Kakashi trusted Sasuke and Sakura to stay stationary for less than five minutes.
When the time came for them to jump off, Sakura let out a 'Whee!' and slid neatly off the lift, dropping to the ground and remaining upright. Sasuke followed suit, without the squealing, and stood solemnly next to Sakura, waiting for Kakashi and Naruto to come down.
Naruto was a bit confused as to how to get off. He showered Kakashi with questions, and Kakashi, with a jolt, realized Naruto had missed his chance to jump. Sighing loudly, Kakashi grabbed Naruto by the back of his snowsuit, grabbed the blonde's ski poles, and shoved Naruto off the lift, throwing the poles after him. On the ground, Sasuke and Sakura watched as Naruto fell, yelling, to the ground, and landed facedown in the snow, his yells muffled. The pair then looked blandly up at Kakashi, who gave them a defeated little wave, and settled into his seat, waiting for the lift to go around again.
When Naruto finally clambered to his feet, he spat out a mouthful of water and asked, "Where the heck is Master Kakashi going?! Does he think it's a ride?"
Sakura rolled her eyes and explained, "He's still on the lift because you missed your chance to jump off! He was too busy getting all your things together and shoving you off the lift to jump. Just wait here till he gets back. It'll only be five minutes."
Sasuke muttered, "Idiot" under his breath, eyeing Naruto nastily. Then, without a word, he shoved his ski poles into the snow and shoved off, leaving a drooling Sakura and an extremely furious Naruto behind him.
"Who does he think he is!" Naruto exclaimed. "He thinks he's all that just because he can ski and a bunch of other useless stuff! Man, he makes me mad!"
Sakura scoffed and said scornfully, "'A bunch of other useless stuff'? He was only the top of every subject in school and mastered every jutsu he was taught! Please, Naruto. You're just jealous."
If Sakura had lit a firecracker under Naruto, it wouldn't have made him madder. He spluttered at Sakura, who disregarded Naruto and sped off after Sasuke, leaving Naruto standing there alone.
"I'm not losing out to Sasuke! We'll see who the best skier is!" Naruto grumbled, bending down to snatch up his ski poles and wobbling dangerously. He grit his teeth and tried to imitate the way Sakura had gracefully skied away.
Yeah, he failed.
He shoved off way too roughly, and Kakashi could only watch in horror up on the ski lift as Naruto plummeted down the hill, losing both ski poles in a matter of seconds. Naruto crashed into everyone in his path, earning a few well-earned fingers.
Naruto screeched like a piglet and suddenly, Sasuke was skiing alongside him. "You are a total idiot," Sasuke said, and then – he laughed. Sasuke actually laughed. Naruto gaped at him, and Sasuke laughed again. "Get that idiotic look off your face," he said, and skied away.
Naruto was still in such shock, he didn't even hear Kakashi call out, "Naruto, move!" Naruto just kept gliding along, and Kakashi, who had just jumped from the lift at the completely wrong time – but quite on purpose – sighed, "Oh, dear," as Naruto skied right where Kakashi was about to land.
Naruto missed Kakashi by a millimeter, but was yanked to a halt when Kakashi grabbed Naruto's left ski and held tight. Naruto let out a yell as he lurched forward dangerously and his ski came off, and he somersaulted through the air, landing in a big heap on the snow, groaning.
Kakashi slid down the slope to where Naruto lay and sighed. "Naruto, I somewhat expected you to ski all by yourself, but I didn't think you'd be that awful." And then Kakashi started laughing, and after dishing a bit of snow playfully in Naruto's pouting face, he skied off after his other, more coordinated students.
Naruto lay there, fuming to himself, for a minute or so. Then, grumbling darkly, he yanked off his other ski, and snapped it clean in half and chucked it down the mountain.
Sakura, on her second round down the mountain, skied by Naruto and slid to a stop, a big smile on her face and her hand on her hip. "Big loser," she laughed, holding out a hand to Naruto. Naruto's face lit up and he eagerly reached for Sakura's gloved hand. She helped him up, punched him on the shoulder – "Oww!! Sakuraaaa!" and sped away.
As Naruto was shuffling his way down the mountain, he was sent flying by a sharp hit in the back. He rolled all the way down the mountain, acting like a bowling ball and knocking a good deal of people over. When he finally rolled to a stop at the bottom of the mountain and began yelling himself hoarse, he looked up to see Sasuke sliding down the mountain behind him, stopping right behind Naruto.
"Have fun skiing?" Sasuke asked, and skied away, smirking all over.
"I hate skiing," Naruto muttered darkly, and stomped off to the hot chocolate building, where he was going to demand a bowl of steaming hot ramen, and God help the person who denied him of it.
Up on the ski lift, Sakura, sitting with Kakashi this time, watched Naruto storm over to a small building. "Master Kakashi," she began, "did you bring us out here fully knowing what was going to happen?"
Kakashi closed his eye as he grinned at her. "Sakura, I can't see the future, but I had a vague idea of how this would end up. Naruto would screw up, you'd do fine, as would Sasuke."
At the sound of Sasuke's name, Sakura started. "Master! I forgot to tell you! Sasuke actually spoke to me today, after I asked him a rhetorical question! He knew that, but he answered anyway! And I heard him laugh at Naruto. Sasuke. Laughing."
Kakashi stared at Sakura. After a moment, he finally said, "We should probably test him and see what he's taking."
"Sounds like a plan."
