NOTE: Now, come on, people. I think we can do a little better than how we're doing! Now, I knowthat this story isn't getting as many hits because it's just a plain story. My strong point in fanfic isKylexStan, I know, but the only reason why I'm making this story is so I have an excuse to exclude Eric Cartman in my stories. I honestly hate him in my stories because I don't do anything with him. I have to kill him off because he's just there... and I don't like it. I know I gave it away, but none of you know how he's gonna die. So... there.
NOTE:I'm trying to finish this story as best I can. I'm starting to hate it. I wanna get back to Mamma Mia!. I'll try not to sound too lazy.
Chapter 3: Doctor Vile
"Butters, be a good boy and get the door," Stephen requested sipping a coffee.
"Well, uh, sure, dad!" Butters replied cheerfully, wanting to do anything at all to please his dad.
Butters stood up from his coloring job with Dougie, ran to the door at top speed and twisted the knob, but opened the door slowly, since it was raining. He creaked it open and saw a boy drenched in the downpour.
"Well, Kyle, what are you doing here?" Butters asked.
"I'm available," Kyle replied looking at his shoes slowly being soaked in. He could feel the moisture between his toes.
"Well, uh, that's very flattering, Kyle, uh, but I'm not a faggot."
"No, you idiot!" Kyle snapped. "You asked me to join your legion of darkness and I'm here!"
"Oh," Butters replied softly, but with a tone that identified this matter as 'top secret'. "I suggest you follow me."
Butters opened the door fully and allowed Kyle inside.
"Why, uh, you're all soaked. Let me take your coat," Butters said kindly. He then switched to his dark ego while addressing Dougie. "Professor, let us proceed."
Kyle looked around Butter's bedroom. He honestly couldn't imagine how anyone could live in this room. He could have sworn he saw glittery butterfly stickers on his dresser. He didn't see any television set, just a computer in the corner with the 'Hello Kitty Island Adventure' CD case pleasantly resting in front of the monitor. His vision then shifted to the vent next to the door where Kyle's coat, jacket, shoes, and socks lay wet and dead as to be dried. Kyle thought that what Butters was doing for him was pretty nice, as he looked at his bare toes, but then a thought came across his mind that perhaps Butters was doing this just to gain friends. Who knows? Maybe this generosity and hospitality just comes out naturally.
Kyle's daze snapped off of his feet and onto the bathroom door from which Dougie and Butters emerged from, still elaborating. Their gazes finally broke off of each other and into Kyle's green eyes.
"We have come to a conclusion," Dougie announced loudly.
"Yes, we have," Butters nodded. "Kyle, first you now must swear alligence to our secret society of peril and unholiness."
"Okay, how?" Kyle asked.
"First, uh, you must raise your right hand."
"Kay," he said, doing so.
"And now you must repeat after me."
"Alright."
"Oh, I'm so evil, yes I am, and in this evil nation," Butters recited to the tune of Yankee Doodle.
Kyle repeated the song, a bit slowly an awkwardly, but he managed without gagging. Butters continued.
"I'll do bad deeds, all times I please, except for masturbation."
Kyle had to think for a moment about the last part, but finished the recitation.
"Okay, now what?" Kyle asked.
"Now, uh, you must join take this," Butter answered referring to a suit bag he was holding. "And try it on. It has to fit, or else my mom is gonna have to let it out."
Kyle hopped off of Butters' bed and grabbed the bag while heading into the closet.
He had no idea what he was doing at that time. All he knew was that in less than 20 minutes he was in the warmth of a delicious-smelling restaurant next to his best friend and now in the closet of an acquaintance who smelled like porridge, trying on an outfit he had made especially for him. But when he thought about everything that has happened that led to this moment, he cringed in disgust and anger once the thought of Cartman crept across this mind. Now he knew why he was doing this, to get him back for good.
Once he had finished dressing, he slid open the closet door and appeared before the boys, now dressed in their own signature 'attire of destruction.' Kyle was confused, but only slightly, feeling a bit more secure that he wasn't the only one that looked like a queer. Both Dougie and Butters wore capes and tin foil crafted gauntlets and helmets. Kyle looked roughly the same. He had tinfoil wrapped around his legs that started at the ankle and ended at the knees, making appear that he had boots on. He also had the same gloves as Butters did with a silver 'K' sewn into a blood-red shirt with a black cape sewn at the shoulders with tin foil spikes on his shoulder. His helmet looked like his ushanka, only it was, yet again, tin foil, only instead of the ear flaps, he had two spikes on top.
"And so it begins," Professor Chaos announced evily. "The birth of Doctor Vile."
"Doctor Vile," Kyle repeated to himself, enjoying the ring to it.
"How do you feel?"
"I feel... strong."
"And so you should! Now begins your reign of terror!"
"So... What do we do now?"
"We continue our evil deeds and wreak havoc on the little town. Professor, Doctor... Let us go."
Doctor Vile, Professor Chaos, and General Disarray walked over to the park where there were many children playing happily on the swings, jumping around the play gym, and going down the slide. Professor Chaos carried a bucket of water. Vile had no idea what he was using it for, but the Professor was so-said well-known. He trusted the Professor. He said he has been doing evil work so a long time now, and Vile didn't know who else to turn to in terms of getting back at someone. If it was wasn't Cartman, he would have wentto Cartman's.
The three evil-doers hid behind a bush planted near the slide.
"So what shall we do to the unsuspecting public?" Vile asked, feeling truly sinister. And he liked it.
"Well, uh, I've got this bucket here," Chaos began. "I'm gonna pour it at the bottom of the slide. And once the dirt mixes with the water, it'll turn into mud."
The Professor ran to the bottom of the slide and poured the bucket as Vile looked at him with a confused expression. Was this his idea of evil? Perhaps they have to be small actions since this is Vile's firs day on the job.
Chaos quickly retreated to the bush to watch his plan unravel. He witnessed it with an evil smile as an 8-year-old boy slid happily down the slide. Once he leaped off of the steel, his sandals flopped into a mush of dirty mud. Once having the realization that his shoes were dirty, he began to cry with his arms in the air awaiting his mommy.
Chaos and Disarray threw their heads back and laughed evil cackles while Vile simply stood there and looked at his comrades with a "holy shit, they think this is evil" face.
"Are you serious?!" Kyle shouted.
"But, wh-what is it, uh, Doctor Vile?" Professor Chaos asked.
"Oh, shut up, Butters! This was a big mistake! I should have never wanted to ask for help to kill Cartman. The entire idea sounds stupid now! I'm leaving!"
"Wh-where are you going?"
"I'm going to kill Cartman myself!"
