JuSt Gr3aT
Author's Note: Jolly bananas! I'm back! I'm glad those beautiful people that read chapter one enjoyed it and I hope that they enjoy this chapter also. A special thanks goes to: 123 (anonymous reviewer), SkyeFlyte, lamatikah, Rikku2233 (another anonymous reviewer), Natsu Yoru Mainaloll and finally d00mPuppet for reviewing, you guys rock. Also, I would like to thank anyone who added this story to his or her favourites or their alert list. Thank you, thank you, thank you very much indeed.
Disclaimer: Gah. I wish.
Chapter Two: I'd Rather Suffocate Myself
Day One. Part Two.
Axel did not want to leave the cabin. It was his (temporary) safe heaven and there was no way he was going to let anyone bully him into leaving it. Not even if wild beasts wearing grass skirts and coconut bras were traumatising Demyx. Though, that would be very tempting.
"Axel, we've gotta go meet our instructor guys and the other people in our group. Come on." Riku called to him.
Riku was a bastard. An obsessive hair washing, camp, gay, paedophilic bastard. At least, he could be when Axel was extremely pissed off. When Axel was just in a normal mood, however, he was just Riku. Good old gay, funny, still camp, Riku. But not a bastard. And still paedophilic, his favourite target being poor defenseless young brunette boys. He was a sucker for blue eyes too, apparently.
"Axey! Hurry up; I wanna see everything in this place! It's so, um, big and tree-y!"
Demyx was a pathetic idiot. A stupid, whiney, annoying, pathetic idiot. But he was okay really. When you got over the whole 'mental age of an immature two year old thing'. He could be positively fun at times. Like when he was willing to let Axel set his hair on fire.
"Come the fuck on, Axel!" Larxene shrieked at him.
Larxene was a-
"Arrgh! Get the fuck off my fucking hair! You crazy bitch!" Axel almost screamed as the devil in disguise (a blonde wig) pulled him out of the door by his flaming red hair.
Sometimes Axel thought that he must have done something terrible in a past life to secure a relationship with someone like Larxene in this one. Something absolutely awful like unleashing a paedophile in a place where all the children in the world were gathered for no apparent reason.
"Stop being such a frickin' baby." Larxene muttered, letting go of him when they stepped outside. She watched as he attempted to tidy up his hair again with his thin fingers. "That's not going to work." She told him.
"Go get some friends." He scowled at her but did not stop his attempts. His hair was his one of his pride and joys and he wanted it to look good, damn it.
"Why are you even bothering? Does it really matter what you look like? There is no one who is even the slightest bit attractive here. Not that I've noticed anyway." She grumbled, scowling at him as though it was somehow his fault. "Besides, if there actually are any decent looking guys, Riku will have already found one and decided that he will obsess over him for the whole of the trip and Demyx will have secured another by betting him that he can't beat him in an eating competition."
Axel shrugged, "Whatever. Where are Demyx and Riku anyway?"
"Gone off somewhere. Probably got lost. And died. In a bush. Eh, shame, I could have sold Riku's hair on E-Bay."
"Right, and you're not even the slightest bit cynical," he raised his eyebrows at her as she grinned maliciously.
Yes, Larxene was an evil, sadistic, crazy, pain-inducing bitch, though she was vaguely amusing at times. Like the time she helped him set Demyx's hair on fire.
Axel stared ahead of him. He could make out Riku and Demyx standing with three other people - two men and a woman - who were all wearing Camp Adventure T-Shirts. He guessed they were instructors, most likely students trying to pay their tuition fees or had just finished college, looking for a decent job and trying to pay off their student loans.
One was rather short, spotty and gangly. His short hair was flat and lacked volume, Riku would be lecturing him all week. Axel felt rather sorry for him as he had round, thick glasses that slipped down his nose so he had to push them back up every few seconds and a very prominent Adam's apple. He had probably been stereotyped as a geek in two seconds flat when he stepped into High School. Poor guy.
The next man couldn't have been more different. He was your token tall, dark and handsome guy. Axel raised his eyebrows at the amount of belts he has secured around his hips, what there some kind of new cult he didn't know about?
The girl - who was currently engaging Riku and Demyx in an in depth conversation - was around medium height, tanned, had her blonde hair tied up in a messy pony tail and wore a pair of tatty black and white converse on her feet. She had a clipboard in one hand that looked about ready to fly out of her loose grip and hit some poor soul - hopefully Larxene - in the face. Axel could tell that she was going to get on well with Demyx.
"Oh god. This is gonna be so gay," Larxene grumbled, shaking her head and placing a hand on her temple.
"Shut the fuck up, Larxene," Axel scolded her. No one was allowed to call anything 'gay' when it wasn't 'gay', unless it's a person. It's just stupid and politically incorrect.
"Go take your butt plug out, Ax," she muttered, smirking slightly.
Axel glared her, sending an obscene hand gesture in her direction, "One day you'll wish it was only a butt plug that was pissing me off."
"Oh my god! Is that Axel from The Orgy?"
"It so is! He's so hot!"
"I know, right."
"I wonder if he's an instructor…?"
"Ohmygod! I hope so!"
"I sure wouldn't mind learning a few things from him!"
"Oh my god, Karen! You're so rude!"
Giggles.
Damn fans.
Axel smirked at the two girls who were giggling and staring at him in some kind of awe. He winked at them - just for fun - and snorted as both of their jaws dropped. He followed after Larxene, leaving them to their newly sprung argument about who he had been winking at.
"Ha! I do believe that I've actually heard everything now!"
He looked up to see the blonde woman - who he presumed was one of their instructors - laughing so hard that she was actually going weak at the knees and clutching her stomach.
"What's going on?" he asked, shooting Riku a questioning look. There was no point in asking Demyx; he was too busy 'playing' with the nearest juniper tree.
Riku shrugged a little dejectedly, "She asked why we'd been sent here, the whole story."
"Hmpf. Well I'm glad someone finds it entertaining," Larxene muttered darkly, glaring at the three instructors. The blonde didn't take any notice of her, continuing to shriek with laughter. The two men - who had been cracking grins and trying not to laugh - immediately turned their attention to her.
"You two must be the other half of this 'band'." The tall, dark one said, looking from Axel to Larxene with an amused smiling playing around his face.
"Yes. We are." Larxene confirmed, scowling at him and crossing her arms, "Who're you?"
The shorter man cleared his throat, sending his Adam's apple shooting up and down like a ping-pong ball, pushed his glasses up his nose and grinned, showing a lot of wonky teeth in the process, "We are going to be your instructors for this trip. I'm-"
"I wasn't talking to you." Larxene snapped at him, causing him to practically fall over backwards in shock.
"I- I- Sorry." He said, holding his arms up defensively.
"Hey, don't be such a pushover, Adam," the blonde woman - who had finally stopped laughing - said patting him friendly on the back, "You're Larxene, right? I'm Jess, that's Leon," she pointed to the tall brunette, "and this is Adam." She patted the shorter man's shoulder again. He winced in pain.
"So, you're the people in charge of us?" Axel asked, looking at Adam doubtfully.
"Yep!" Man, our group is gonna kick ass this year. Everyone wanted this group when they saw who was in it. But we were the ones that got chosen," she claimed proudly.
"Err, okay. We're not the only people in the group, are we?" Riku asked, edging away from the steaming Larxene.
"Are you crazy? Why would there be three of us looking after four kids?" Jess looked at him as if he had just put on a Viking helmet and a learner drivers sign and claimed that he now wanted to be known as Rikina.
"We're not kids." Larxene hissed, giving her a scathing look.
"Shut up. Never interrupt me again." Jess said, glaring at her as if she had just committing a terrible crime. Axel was almost taken aback at the ferocity of her stare; it could give Larxene a run for her money any day.
Larxene's mouth twitched into a triumphant smirk and Axel knew that she was pleased that there was someone here that wouldn't let herself be pushed around all the time.
"Anyway, there are… hmm," she scanned the clipboard in her hand, "six more people in our group. We've just gotta wait for them to turn up."
Leon looked at the list of names on the clipboard over her shoulder, "I recognise some of these names. Regulars." He said, nodding.
"Regulars? You mean people actually come to this shit hole every year?" Axel asked, screwing his face up in mild disgust.
"Oh yes," Adam brightened up considerably, hitching his glasses up again, "we provide a tremendous range of activities. Some people do the same thing every year, wanting to improve their skills in a certain area and others try a new activity every time."
"That's great!" Larxene said with sarcastic enthusiasm. She regarded Adam with a look of utter distain, like most people would upon finding that they had trodden in some dog crap, not realised, come into the house and got it all over the carpet. He nodded at her encouragingly and she rolled her eyes, cracking her gum in an annoyed fashion.
"Do ya reckon they're the other people in our group?" Demyx asked, excitedly indicating a group of six people walking towards them. There were four boys and two girls. "I wanna meet them!" he cried, grinning around brightly at them all.
Axel squinted at them, blinked then whistled and grinned over at Larxene.
"What's that you were saying about there being no hot guys around here?"
"Oh, Axel," she simpered fakely, "Don't you know the little blonde one?" she grinned sadistically as the red-head frowned then his face dropped.
"Fuck."
- - page-break - -
"I don't get why we have to meet everyone now, anyway. I mean, why couldn't they leave it until tomorrow when we leave for the lake? All they do now is make everyone say their name and then leave. It's so lame," Roxas complained.
"I'll second that," Kairi muttered. She rose an eyebrow at Sora and Tidus's 'who can look more like a chicken' contest. If she had been listening to their conversation, she would have realised that they were in fact doing a very accurate impression of Barney the Dinosaur - also known as the "Purple Paedophile".
"Why isn't Pence in our group this year?" a bubbly brunette called Selphie asked, linking arms with both Kairi and Roxas.
"No idea," Roxas lied, though he smirked slightly as Kairi caught his eye.
Selphie noticed this and frowned. She looked between them, turning her head each direction several times as though she was watching a compelling tennis match, a look of annoyed confusion plastered on her face. "Come on, tell me what you know!" she commanded.
"We think he's trying to impress Olette. He's gone on the climbing course with her," Kairi blurted out, grinning.
When Roxas caught her eye again they both looked away hastily, biting back their laughter. Just the thought of Pence climbing up a cliff face with Olette belaying him made Roxas crack up.
"Hey!" Selphie punched him lightly, "You guys are awful. I think that it's really sweet," she claimed, and then added as an afterthought, "Do you reckon they'll get it on?"
"Selphie!" Kairi groaned, slapping a hand to her cranium in both annoyance and amusement.
"What?" she said innocently, "Pence isn't that bad looking, y'know. Especially since he started going to the gym last year. I think him and Olette would make a really cute couple."
"Pssh. Yeah, sure they would," Roxas said, snorting and waving his hand through the air loftily, "It's just, how blind is Olette to flirting? She doesn't even notice when someone is making a really obvious advance on her. I mean, remember that time in Junior High when she got herself a stalker? She thought he was after her homework."
Kairi nodded, "He has a point, Selph."
"Well, maybe he should just do something really straightforward. Like… Find a clearing in the forest and light all these lovely scented candles and put them on the ground so they spell out 'I love you' and then kiss her and-"
She scowled as Kairi and Roxas interrupted her with howls of laughter.
"What is so funny?" she whined, flailing her arms around wildly. "I think that would be really romantic!"
Roxas grinned at her, wiping tears of laughter from under his eyes as he came to the end of his fit, "Yeah, sure it would. It's just," he made eye contact with Kairi again and smirked, "it's Pence."
Kairi snorted. She quickly rearranged her face into a sorry expression when Selphie frowned disapprovingly at her.
"I feel really sorry for Pence," Selphie muttered under her breath, shaking her head at her two friends either side of her. "You two are so mean about him!"
"We-We're joking, Selphi-hehehehe-e!" Kairi said, attempting to hold back the laughter that was forcing its way out. "I'm sure Pen- I'm sure Pence will do ju-just great and he-he'll r-r-r-ro-romance - hahahahaha! - wi-with Olette just fine."
Selphie rolled her eyes, muttering that she officially 'gave up', "You alright there, Zexy?" she called behind her to the shortish bluey/grey haired boy.
"Hmm. Fine," he replied.
"Sure?"
He nodded.
Selphie smiled brightly back at him. She was used to his monosyllabic answers and didn't worry; he was probably just brooding over something.
"Who d'ya reckon we'll have for instructors this year?" Selphie wondered aloud.
Kairi groaned, "I hope we don't have Adam as our first-aider again. He's so creepy."
"Oh, come on, he's not that bad! He's just a little-"
"Scrawny?" Roxas filled in helpfully. Selphie rolled her eyes at him. "Seriously, Selph, he's creepy. I swear he tried to feel me up last year."
Selphie shrugged indifferently, "Whatever. I just hope we've got Leon. He's so dreamy." She sighed.
"Hmmm… yeeahh," Kairi smiled, "he really is."
"Erlack." Roxas screwed his face up at them in disgust. "Please don't have this conversation in front of me. I have no problem with you doing this, but not when I'm here," he insisted.
Selphie ignored him, "He's got such strong arms, and such nice abs and he's so gorgeous! Ooh, just imagine-"
"Tidus! Your girlfriend is mooning over another guy!" Roxas shouted.
The blonde's head snapped around and he shot over to Selphie's side. She beamed at him.
"Aww, you're so possessive, Tidy-Widy!" she declared, throwing her arms around his neck. He grinned and shot Roxas a 'what the hell were you talking about?' look. Selphie was so damn good at making him oblivious to anything she said or did she didn't want him to know about.
"I had to shut her up somehow!" Roxas said defensively, "I thought I was gonna barf."
"Like the time when you went into our parent's room to with them happy Valentine's Day and you saw them doing naughty things!" Sora reminded him, bounding along happily.
They all imagined this scene too vividly and groaned. Many cries of 'Sora!' and 'gross' were sounded.
"Ooh! I see our group!" Selphie shrieked happily.
Sure enough, Roxas could see an instructor waving at them and signaling for them to some over.
"Looks like you got your wish, Selph, Leon's there." Roxas said, grinning as Tidus scowled over at the instructor.
"And it looks like you got yours too, Rox! It's Adam! The love of your life!"
"Shut the hell up, Selphie." He pouted at her, folding his arms across his chest, "There is no way I am going to hurt myself this time. I am not letting him touch me or even come anywhere near me."
"Why? It's not like he's a pedo or something," Sora stated obliviously.
"Err, yes, Sora. But he's just… there's something weird about him," Kairi said, shuddering slightly.
"It's because he's got spots, isn't it?" Tidus said, eyeing her suspiciously.
The redhead squeaked.
"Yep. She can't even stand the word." Tidus decided, grinning triumphantly.
Roxas chucked, "What you would call it? The fear of spots… Acnephobia?"
Sora burst into a peel of manic laughter. Roxas raised his eyebrows at him, worried for his poor twin's sanity (and it wasn't the first time).
Suddenly and without warning, Kairi stopped dead in her tracks, causing an oblivious Sora (who was still laughing) to smack right into her. Roxas shot her a questioning glance.
"…Kairi?"
She didn't seem to hear him. Or if she did she didn't respond in any way. Her mouth opened and closed several times, making her hold a resemblance to a fish out of water, gasping for air.
"Do you think we would be able to change groups?" she eventually asked, biting her bottom lip.
"It's a bit late, isn't it?" Tidus said, giving her a 'what the hell' look.
"I know, I just don't think that, err, that kayaking is my thing." she mumbled lamely.
"But, you love kayaking!" Roxas insisted, completely bewildered.
"Yeah, I do," she shot a worried glance at Roxas, "but-"
"Oh my god!" Selphie squealed, pointing over to their group, "It's that guy from that band!"
Sora looked up, "What band?"
"The Orgy!"
Roxas' eyes widened in realisation, "Oh fuck."
"He's so hot!" she shrieked, latching on to Tidus' arm tightly.
"Which one? That's the whole band." Zexion pointed out monosyllabically.
Roxas gulped, "Shit."
"I can't believe they are here! And in our group too!" Selphie giggled manically, smoothing her glossy brown hair self-consciously. "How do I look, Tidus?"
Tidus narrowed his eyes at the 'guy' his girlfriend had been referring to. He didn't know which 'guy' it was but he knew that he was an unlikeable bastard.
"You look hot- no. You- you look beautiful. Really beautiful, just like you always do." Oh. Yes. Tidus was an undeniable sex god and excelled in the refined art of flattery.
"Aww, thanks, Tidy-Widy!" she blushed happily and pecked him on the cheek, grabbing hold of his hand; all thoughts of the "hot guy" forgotten. Who would have thought something Tidus came up with would work so well?
Roxas looked up at the group, choked then looked back down at his shoes again.
Kairi had a really bad feeling about this as one of the instructors raced up to them, she recognised her as the infamous: Jess.
"Guys! It's good to see you all! Let me introduce you all to your group members. This is Riku, Axel- hey! Where're you going?" Jess pulled Roxas back before he managed to get out of the camp, state, world, universe, etcetera, etcetera. Roxas looked at her moodily.
"Okay, anyway guys. They're Axel, Riku, Demyx and Larxene. But, of course, you know that because" for one horrible, stupid second Roxas thought she was going to say it, "they're a super-famous band!"
Roxas let off a sigh of relief, even though - deep down - he had known that she wasn't going to say it, because how could she know? Not even Kairi or Hayner knew the full story.
"Now, go and greet them, my young minions."
Nobody moved a muscle.
"I said GO AND GREET THEM!" she screeched, putting on her scary I Am Better Than You voice.
They all shuffled away from her nervously.
"Good for nothing lumps of human." She muttered darkly under her breath.
"Axel! I haven't seen you for ages! How have you been?" Sora cried, throwing himself at the red-head.
The red-head in question laughed awkwardly and patted the brunette on the back.
"I didn't know you knew these guys." Tidus commented, blinking rapidly under Larxene's harsh stare.
"Oh yeah! We go waaayyy back! But for some reason we hush it all up and don't mention it." Sora said the last part with a tone of confusion edging his voice.
Roxas blushed and looked down at his shoes, rocking nervously on his feet.
There was a long awkward pause until Adam broke the silence by saying:
"So! I am Adam and I'm your first aider for the trip."
There was a loud groan.
-xXx-
Author's note: I love Jess. She's awesome because you have no idea what she would be like so you can make up her character. She is the woman from the accesory shop in KH2, in case you didn't know. :D
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read, review, party, enjoy life...
nirii xx
