Chapter 7

Tonks was woken up by the early morning sunshine illuminating her bedroom. She yawned and stretched a little. When she moved she could feel a naked male body next to her. Tonks smiled when her drowsy mind processed the information that Remus Lupin was in fact lying in her bed. Tonks opened her eyes and shifted so she was lying on her side, propped up on her elbow, watching Lupin sleep. She didn't know how long she had been watching him when he started stirring and slowly opened his eyes. He looked a little confused when he saw her lying next to him, but then he seemed to remember last night and how he had come to Tonks' flat.

"Hi, how are you feeling?" Tonks asked.

„Alright, considering the circumstances."

After a moment of awkward silence Lupin asked: "You don't happen to have male clothes here?"

She hadn't thought about that. How stupid of her! Wolves usually didn't wear clothes, of course Remus had removed his clothes before he had transformed.

"No, I wasn't expecting an overnight visitor," she teased, "I can quickly apparate to your flat and get you some things after I took a shower."

"Thank you."

Tonks quickly showered and dressed in the bathroom before she apparated to Remus' flat to bring him some clothes. In less than thirty minutes she was sitting at her coffee table, waiting for Remus to return from the bathroom. They had a lot to talk about and this time she wouldn't allow him to take the easy way out.

After a few minutes Remus came from the bathroom fully dressed. He sat down at the table in front of Tonks. After another moment of uncomfortable silence Remus decided it was time to talk.

"Dora, I'm sorry that I left you like I did the other night. I wasn't ready to look into your face and tell you that we don't have a future. Not after I held you in my arms."

"Stop it, Remus!" Tonks exclaimed angrily. "I can't hear it anymore! You will never know if we can have a future together if you don't try. I'm willing to take the risk, why aren't you? I saw you fighting, Remus, I know you're not a coward. So why are you so damned afraid this time?"

"Because it's not only my life that is at risk. I don't want to ruin your life by chaining you to me, Dora. You saw what I am yesterday. You saw me kill Bellatrix Lestrange in cold blood! Once a month, I'm an animal and even with the Wolves Bane potion I can't suppress my predatory instincts completely. I'm dangerous."

Tonks shook her head in frustration. Speaking to Remus was like talking to a wall!

"Yes, Remus, I saw you yesterday and I didn't see a monster. I saw you first attacking Greyback and then Bellatrix when they were threatening me. You killed them to save me. And when you think that the rage you felt when you fought Bellatrix and the satisfaction you felt when you killed her makes you a monster, then I am one, too. I wanted to kill her for what she did to Sirius and I was pleased to see her die. She got what she deserved. It doesn't make you a monster that you felt like that, but it makes you a very special man that you feel bad about it."

"I didn't feel bad about it when I was a werewolf. That's what I'm talking about. In full moon nights and in the nights before, I'm not the man you love and admire. My actions are based on instinct, not on what I think it's right. I don't have control about myself during these days," he tried to explain.

"So, a few days each month you put your extremely high morals aside and act on your feelings and instincts? I think I can live with that."

"You make it sound so easy, Dora, but it isn't."

"Yes, it is, if you just allow yourself to see it like that. I can stay with you during full moon nights; we saw yesterday that you wouldn't hurt me. I can make your potion for you; I've always been very good at potions. And I don't have a problem with you acting differently before full moon nights. I don't regret what happened between us. In fact, I happen to like your more … carnal behaviour," she told him with a grin.

"But I do regret the way I acted this night. I didn't treat you like you deserve. I should have been gentler, more patient and more considerate. I'm sure this wasn't like you expected your first time," Lupin argued.

"It's okay, Remus, it really is. I didn't expect my first time to be perfect. And I did enjoy it. The pain wasn't that bad and I did enjoy seeing how much you enjoyed it. I did enjoy the knowledge that I have this effect on you. The only thing I regret is that we stopped too soon. I loved falling asleep in your arms and I wished I had woken up in your arms, too."

"I'm sorry," was all he said, but Tonks could tell that Remus was sincere.

"It doesn't help to hear that again and again. If you are really sorry, then stop hurting me again and again. I know you, Remus. I saw the best and the worst of you and I want it all. I want you, with all consequences this decision will have. I don't care what people will say. Everybody I care about likes you and everybody else is not worth worrying about. I saw the dangerous side of you and it didn't disgust me. I don't care about your lack of money, I have my own and I wouldn't want to depend on a man to support me anyway. And I don't care about your age either. I won't become happy with a man of my age, because I love you. I always have and I always will. So it's either being with you or staying alone for the rest of my life."

Remus didn't know what to say anymore, so he just took Tonks in his arms and gave her a long, passionate kiss. When he finally pulled away Tonks grinned. She decided for a nonverbal reply, too and took Remus' hand, pulling him to the bedroom. She gave him a seductive smile and pulled her shirt over her head before lying down on the bed. Remus opened his mouth to say something, but Tonks stopped him.

"Don't you dare to ask me if I'm sure."

Remus smiled. She knew him too well. He sat down next to her and took Tonks in his arms again, caressing her naked back. He decided to show her that he hadn't changed his mind and took off her bra.

"I think you're overdressed," Tonks said.

Tonks gently pulled Remus' shirt of, being careful not to hurt him. Then she started placing butterfly kisses all over his scratched chest.

Remus closed his eyes and finally allowed himself to get lost in the tenderness of the woman he loved.

When she was done kissing his chest, Remus pulled Tonks in his arms again and kissed her thoroughly and neatly massaged her breasts at the same time. Tonks moaned against his lips and started rubbing herself against his crotch.

His pants were becoming uncomfortable tight, so he reluctantly stopped the kiss to lose the offending garment. Once this task was completed, Remus left a tail of kisses on Tonks' neck, breasts and stomach, before pulling her pants and underwear down.

Lupin started placing a trail of kisses all over her body, giving her beautiful breasts special attention, before wandering lower. He placed gentle kisses on her inner thighs and Tonks moaned out loud. "Remus, please," she moaned and it was all the encouragement he needed.

He gave his girlfriend a lingering kiss on the lips before he thrust into her gently. This time, the lovers took their time, continuing to kiss and caress each other during their lovemaking, until they both reached their peak nearly simultaneously.

Feeling exhausted, but blissfully sated, Remus rolled on his back and pulled his young lover into a tight embrace, knowing he didn't want to let her go ever again.