Ringing the Doorbell
By Kaj-Nrig
The Second Ring – The Blonde Bombshell Returns
"I'm surprised she's still calling you. She must miss you a lot; she never calls us nearly as much," he pressed on.
"I've told her countless times not to call me-"
"Has that ever stopped her before?" he interrupted with a small chuckle.
"..."
He switched the phone to his other ear and revved the engine once again, just to make sure it wouldn't stall at these slower speeds. "Well, if she has been calling you, then does that mean you're coming? Tifa would appreciate it, and I'm sure Marlene'd be overjoyed. She's got something special planned, apparently."
"...I'm heading there now," came Vincent's answer after a long consideration. I'm glad he'll make it, he said to himself. We haven't seen each other in a long time. With a shrug, he continued down the street, toward the Seventh Heaven.
"That's great. I'll see you then," he said, grunting as he flipped the phone shut. As an afterthought, he flipped it back on and dialed in a set of numbers, but a message suddenly appeared:
From: Yuffie Kisaragi
Subject: -no subject-
Message:
FEBC DDJ K RTX.
Puzzled, he decided to throttle his bike down; he was approaching the Seventh Heaven. Tifa stood in front of the door, waving joyfully. He waved back and took note of the small form that hid behind her. Clicking on "Reply", he answered, "Yuffie? Is something wrong? What did you send me?" and clicked it shut. As he rounded into the driveway, he dialed in Barret's number again.
"WHAT!?" came the harried reply, and he had to pull the phone away from his face. What happened to him? he wondered silently, then spoke as calmly as he could into the phone.
"Barret, I'm almost there. You'd better hurry, or-"
"YEAH YEAH SHUT UP SPIKEY! I HEARD THE LAST TIME!"
"Okay, but Marlene's-"
"GOT SOMETHING PLANNED, I KNOW! NOW GET OUTTA MY FACE!" The phone suddenly clicked off and he found himself staring blankly at the screen. What's wrong with him? He was fine just a while ago.
"Welcome back," Tifa welcomed warmly, reaching out to take the package he still had on the back of his bike. He gave it to her gratefully, smiling back at her.
"I'm home," he said. "Um... be careful with that, okay? It's for Denzel, and I'm not sure it'll be in the safest of hands with him." Tifa grimaced.
"You didn't..." He nodded. She sighed resignedly, answering, "I should've figured by the weight of it. Oh, we have a present for you, too."
"Really, now?" A giggle issued from behind Tifa's (rather well-rounded) posterior, and he smirked despite himself. "Say, where's Marlene?"
"Right here!" came the loud yell, and the young girl leapt in from behind Tifa, narrowly dodging the doorknob in the process. "So? How does it look?" she demanded, twirling around lightly in her brown boots.
He simply stared at her for a second. Words sought their way out of his mouth, but fell to their demise as they exited his lax lips.
A heavy vibration rang from his cell phone, and he snapped back to reality.
"There's one more thing," came Vincent's muffled voice.
"O-oh, what?" he stuttered, quickly bringing the phone to his ear.
"...when Yuffie gets there-" Vincent stopped abruptly as a loud crash came from the closed door. A moment later, Denzel rushed out, seized the present from Tifa, and rushed back in, giving a hasty "Thanks" in the process; Marlene gleefully followed. "...what was that?"
"Nothing," he answered fondly. "You were saying?"
"When Yuffie gets there, please feed-" Vincent was interrupted again as a shrill shriek issued from the closed bar, and when he looked in, he saw a horrified Marlene rushing by, followed closely by a battle-crying Denzel, who brandished the giant plastic knife in his two small hands. Tifa groaned and rushed over to help. "...should I ask?"
He was quick to respond with, "Everything... uh, everything's fine. What is it?"
"...when Yuffie gets there, please feed my chocobo."
He laughed and headed in, shutting the door behind him. "Okay."
"Okay, but Marlene's-"
"Got something planned, I KNOW! Now get outta my face!" he cursed and slammed the phone back into its meek little corner. Damn phones these days! He would never understand why those damn companies continued to make them smaller and smaller... and smaller. He was painfully aware of how fragile it was; in his right hand, the phone could be crushed if he so much as flinched. Or sneezed. Or coughed. He was sorely tempted to do any of the three at the moment.
I wonder what Marlene's present is. His hands sweated as they gripped the wheel, and he felt like leaping up and down in giddy anticipation. Unable to contain himself, he let forth a high-pitched yelp. The passengers in the car next to him gave an odd look at the burly man with the voice of a schoolgirl.
...he felt so giddy that he couldn't be mad at his phone forever.
"C'mere, you piece o' crap," he said with affection, reaching over, completely disregarding the traffic in front of him. Why bother? He had saved the world twice over. He wasn't about to die in some car crash. "Look, I'm sorry an' all, but you've gotta understand how much pain you're causing me," he spoke soothingly, his rough, guttural voice sounding like a goat scraping against sandpaper.
He considered tucking the phone into his pocket before switching it to his left hand and dialing up the little munchkin's number.
"HEEEEEEEEEEY BIG GUUUUUY!" came the all-too-happy banshee cry of Yuffie, and he accidentally swerved into the next lane.
"Damn it, girl, you almost killed me!"
"You? Nuh uh, you saved the world twice over! You're not about to die in some car crash!"
Inside, that same giddy schoolgirl wanted to yelp and agree emphatically. Outside, he slammed another dent into the dashboard. "Shut up, you little brat! Hey, Cloud wants us to be there NOW! So hurry the-" He grated his teeth. He had promised Marlene he wouldn't swear. "Hurry it up!"
"Yeah, yeah... hey, what was up with Cid?"
He cringed.
"Yeah, he was going all apeshit about how I better get to you first or-"
She suddenly hung up, and he, confused, simply stared at the picture on the phone of a small puppy. The cute lil' itty-bitty puppy was SO CUUUUUTE! that he nearly missed the exit to the Seventh Heaven.
They were nearly there now. He sighed comfortably as the roof of the Seventh Heaven came into view. There was nothing else to do but maneuver the Sierra into a suitable parking spot behind the small bar.
Shera settled the ship into a nice, gentle cruise while he prepared the anchors. The crew rushed by in droves of ten or twenty, most getting to the deck to prepare to drop and secure the ship's anchor points.
"Honey, I think you should call Yuffie again. You need to apologize to her."
"Eh, she can take it," he responded.
"Honey..." his wife warned. He knew that tone – it was the one she always reserved for when she got extremely mad... like that one time when he forgot to feed the chocobo... for two days.
But he, the greatest master of the skies, the only man to ever fly in space... or ONE of the only men to ever fly in space... was not going to go down without a fight. "C'mon, Shera. She's eighteen, she can handle-"
"Honey."
He waxed at the blunt threat. "You wouldn't," he dared.
She took in a deep breath, and he caved in. "Okay, okay!" he conceded, pulling out his cell phone with dramatic flair. "THERE, you happy!? Sheesh, women..." Exasperated, he dialed in the rascal's number again.
The phone rang for a few good seconds before Yuffie answered, "Wark! Waaaark! Wark wark wark!"
He tilted his head to one side, then tilted it to the other. ...Wark? Th' hell's that supposed to mean?
"Hey, kid, you better not be on drugs or any-" he yelled into the phone, but his command was cut short by a frenzied yelp in the background.
"HEY YOU STUPID BIRD GIVE THAT BACK!"
Followed closely by an emphatic, "Waaaark!"
And then he closed the phone, turned to Shera, and shook his head.
"The whole damn world's gone crazy, Shera." Then, as an afterthought, he added, "Huh... maybe we shoulda picked up Red on the way here..."
Choco was being rather annoying. After they had passed one of the many cliff faces surrounding Edge, she'd decided to be merciful and allow Choco a small, five-minute break.
She knew better now.
Screeching wildly at the evil oversized chicken, she gave its head a good wallop and snatched her phone from off the ground, where Choco the Destroyer had slobbered all over it. Grimacing at all the dents it had suffered at the beak of the chocobo, she wiped the screen clean. "A new message? From Cloud?" she wondered briefly before treating Choco to one of her infamous glares. "You better not have done anything to it, Choco," she warned.
In response, Choco warked, and she missed the first part of the message. "...wrong? What did you send me?"
...stupid Choco.
She gave Choco another death-glare before walking over to a stone to retrieve the saddle. "Alright, birdie, break's over! Onwa- huh?" Her phone rang again and, curious, she saw that Barret had called. Cid's words from before popped into her mind. "HEEEEEEEEEEY BIG GUUUUUY!" she exclaimed, taking Cid's suggestion to heart. The sound of tires screeching on the other end made her giggle hysterically.
"Damn it, girl, you almost killed me!"
"You? Nuh uh, you saved the world twice over! You're not about to die in some car crash!" she explained while slinging the saddle onto Choco's back. The bird squeaked in irritation, but she just stuck her tongue out at it. Stupid bird. If you didn't belong to Vincent, I'd have made stew out of you by now.
"Shut up, you little brat!" Barret shouted, and she could tell that she was quickly getting under his skin, though she had to pause for a moment and wonder why he had even bothered to call her in the first place. Huh... maybe Cid was right... "Hey, Cloud wants us to be there NOW! So hurry the- Hurry it up!"
An impish smile on her face, she answered, "Yeah, yeah... hey, what was up with Cid?" With a hard yank, she tightened the reins underneath Choco's belly, causing the bird to squawk in agony.
The silence on the other end was gold.
"Yeah, he was going all apeshit about how I better get to you first or- OW! HEY!" Clutching at her bleeding hand, she promptly planted a swift kick into Choco's traitorous flank and the feathered aviator tumbled forward, cell phone falling from its mouth.
"Serves you right, Choco. Wait 'til I tell Vinnie what you did to my hand! You'll be lucky to get a single leaf!" Snarling at the offending beast, she picked up the phone and quickly dialed in Vincent's phone.
There was a heavy sigh on the other end, followed by a resigned, "...what is it?"
"'What is it?' I'll tell you what it is, Vinnie! I'm about ready to ROAST your precious little Choco is what it is! That damn chocobo of yours ATTACKED me! My right hand's BLEEDING right now!"
"Deal with it."
"'Deal with it?' Look, Vinnie, I- Hello? Hello!?" She looked at the face of the phone in disbelief. "He... He hung up on me!"
"Wark wark wark!" Choco gloated from a distance. Tossing her phone at it, she was both overjoyed at the healthy smack as it struck Choco flat on the noggin and overcome with burning pain as her right hand throbbed.
Wincing in pain, she quickly returned to the rock and reached into her pack for a small vial. The antiseptic liquid caused the small puncture in her hand to flare painfully, and she cursed over and over to herself as she forced herself to endure the unending torture. "Ooh, y'damn bird... no more missus nice ninja-"
"Wark! Waaaark! Wark wark wark!"
She gasped. Wh... what's that in his mouth? Hey... "HEY YOU STUPID BIRD GIVE THAT BACK!" she shouted, lunging across the wide clearing in two steps.
"Waaaark!"
The sea made him think about seasickness, which made him think about Yuffie, which made him think about how obnoxious she was. Cloud's words from just a moment ago rang through his head. She must miss you a lot; she never calls us nearly as much. It was heartwarming, in its own strange, Yuffie way, but more than anything, he felt bothered by the girl's constant pestering.
He knew she did it for good fun, but really... Sometimes I feel like slapping her.
His phone suddenly rang, and he felt a cold shudder wrack his impossibly pale body. Speak of the devil... he grumbled.
"...what is it?" he answered just before she was taken to the voicemail. At least he'd know how Choco was doing.
"'What is it?'" Jerking his ear away from the phone as if the plague surrounded it, he hastily turned down the volume to its minimum.
"I'm about ready to ROAST your precious little Choco is what it is!"
Grimacing, he realized that her voice was still just as loud as ever.
"That damn chocobo of yours ATTACKED me!"
...THAT was interesting. A small phantom smile graced his lips.
"My right hand's BLEEDING right now!"
...score one for Choco. Coughing once to clear the thought, he answered, as monotonously as possible, "Deal with it."
"'Deal with it?' Look-" He clicked the phone shut and stared at the shallow waves of the ocean, trying to find the meaning of life in their depths. When that failed, he instead dialed Cloud's number. He knew there were going to be repercussions from his little slight of the princess.
"There's one more thing," he said.
"O-oh, what?"
"...when Yuffie gets there-" A deafening thud sounded, followed by footsteps, a quick "Thanks!" from Denzel, and Marlene's excited giggles. "...what was that?"
"Nothing. You were saying?"
"When Yuffie gets there, please feed-"
"Aaaaaaah!"
"Raaaa-hahahah!"
"Oh, no..."
Blinking to himself, he cautiously continued. "...should I ask?"
"Everything... uh, everything's fine. What is it?" There was a definite tone of anxiety in Cloud's voice, but he didn't pay it any heed. Whatever happened, Cloud always had his giant multi-tool to deal with it. He, on the other hand, had no way of protecting Choco from Yuffie's wrath.
"When Yuffie gets there, please feed my chocobo."
"Heheh. Okay."
-To be continued-
Notes: So. There you go. Chapter 2 of this... two- or three-year old story. I've updated the first part, as well, so you might want to go back to that one if you haven't already. Just sayin'. Thanks for the read, and thanks for any and all reviews.
