Disclaimer: I do not own South Park and that is why I cut myself at night! JK.
OK, now that I've thoroughly depressed us all, time for a happy twist. This isn't like a second chapter, just an alternative to the way the story leaves off that takes place several days later than the original. Thank you for the wonderful reviews and remember, the darkest, most evil characters are often the ones with the most depth and potential. I meant Eric, but that statement could probably also work for Kyle in this case.
Alternative Ending
Thursday.
My heart was ripped out of my chest on Thursday.
I was left to die on Thursday.
My life was over. My lover was gone. Hatred had conquered all.
Today is Monday.
Most people hate Mondays, but I see potential. A new week. A new slate. I, Eric Cartman, am starting my life over.
It wasn't as long as some post-break up-distress cases I've seen, but it was definitely the worst. For Friday and the entire weekend, I was completely immobile and empty. My only salvation was been Kenny. He was the one who found me in the streets after the break up, and he was the one who stayed with me all of Friday and into Saturday.
"You've gotta lick this, Eric. I'll stop by tomorrow night, then on Monday we can walk to school together, alright?" were the only words he spoke the whole time. He's the only friend I really have, so I guess he knows I don't need words to communicate. Plus Kenny's always been the kind to convey thoughts and feelings with his eyes. He didn't look at me pityingly when he found me, which I appreciated. He had known what was going to happen before I did. He had known since we got together. He had known I was going to be broken by him.
Kyle.
The love of my life, the Hitler to the concentration camp of my heart and mind. I'm sorry. Was that line too angsty and 'teen-melodrama-esque'? I don't mean to sound like I'm whining. I guess that's just the bitter way my mind works. Fucking Jew...No. I can't think that about him. He hurt me, but it was my fault Kyle had snapped and had done that to me. I did it to myself.
I corrupted Kyle.
And I payed the price. But today is Monday. Lots of people don't like the beginning of another week, but I'm looking forward to a day most people hate. I suppose I've always been counter-culture. I looked up at the school Kenny and I had arrived at. I had to go in and face everyone? I had to face Kyle?
"You have to do this, Eric." Kenny read my mind. And answered sternly, the opposite of what I had been hoping for. He could be surprisingly sweet and compassionate, but also a firm believer in tough love. He had told me once in middle school that he didn't think my mother had raised my right. He said he felt it his job as my best friend to help her.
"I know, Kenny."
"Can you?"
"Of course I can. You know me Kenny, I'm strong."
"I know you well enough to say you're quite the opposite." he answered, midnight-blue eyes on me. "And I wouldn't tell you to come to school if I didn't think it was for your own good. I love you and Kyle both. You're both my friends, but what he did was cruel and unusual—"
"But it was my fault."
"—I wasn't going to say it wasn't. I'm not justifying what either of you did but in my opinion he went too far. That's all. If you want to move on, you have to take the initiative and stand up straight. Show Kyle you can overcome this and have the courage to look him in the eyes."
"I don't think I can."
"You will. I will drag you into this fine establishment if I have to," he said simply, waving to the school before us with flourish.
"Fine establishment?" he narrowed his eyes, daring me to speak another word without making my way into the school, so I entered the building hastily.
"Eric. I'm here for you, just try, okay? Try to move on. Please." he begged quietly, and disappeared into a crowd. I made my way to my locker to get my morning books. Without the blond at my side, I felt defenseless. My fingers twisted the combination lock numbly. I hoped my face looked as blank as my mind felt. That's what the pain had turned to at this point: blankness. Along with my happiness, Kyle had robbed me of my personality, my passion, the spark of life everyone has. I was operating on auto pilot, there was no emotion in what I did. I was vaguely aware that people were bustling around me, but didn't particularly care. That is, until a bright flash of green passed me. My stomach dropped as I saw the bright green of Kyle's ushanka out of the corner of my eye. I winced mentally as that kelly-green hat paused...right next to me at my locker. Kyle was standing beside me, staring at me.
"Hey...Eric. Missed you on Friday."
I couldn't look. I couldn't turn to face those eyes I knew so well. It would be too painful. All the fear and feeling would return. Once again I would feel like I was hyperventilating. But he wasn't going to walk away. I realized that after a few moments of me flipping through my bag, pretending to search for books I didn't really need. I was just hoping he would pick up on my signals and go away, but it's not like it would be the first time he ignored what I was conveying to him.
"Look. I need to talk to you. Now. Please, I've done a lot of thinking, and really think it will do good for both of us if you hear it."
"Since when do you think about what's good for the both of us?" I asked. It would have sounded spiteful, but my voice wavered as if I was about to break into tears. He caught this too.
"No, please! Eric..." for the first time, I looked into his viridian eyes. And was surprised. There was no malice, no mock, no sardonic sneer. He looked desperate. He also looked tired, as though he hadn't been getting much sleep. There were dark circles under his eyes. The plea convinced me. This could be good closure for us both. Good closure for me...I didn't care about him anymore.
"Fine." I said, closing the locker slowly and leaning against it. His jade eyes darted around and he looked back at me.
"Not here. Somewhere alone. Outside!" he suggested, grabbing my forearm and leading me towards the doors.
"KYLE!" roared a familiar voice behind us. Kyle jumped and turned to face Kenny, who was followed by Stan. The blond's eyes were narrowed into dangerous slits and Stan's cobalt-blue ones were worried. Kenny was speed-walking and his fists were clenched. Stan shadowed him, eyes on those fists as though he was a silent mediator to a fight that was inevitably about to break out. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he snapped, stopping beside us, face close to Kyle's.
"Sorry, Kenny. But it's between me and Eric. Don't worry, we're going to talk things out."
"Isn't that cute? Wouldn't it be a perfect world if people had the mind to do that before getting into close relationships? But they don't, and I'm not giving you the satisfaction now." he spat, reaching to pry Kyle's hand from my arm. I remembered him saying he loved us both earlier, but his favoritism was showing immensely.
"Why don't we ask what Cartman wants to do?" Stan suggested. It was funny how he was the only one who still called me by my last name, but I liked the normalcy and felt appreciative of that. I didn't appreciate his suggestion, however. Although it was the most logical, even the most fair, I didn't know what I wanted to do. Should I risk everything I had and all the steps I had taken to heal and speak to Kyle alone? Or should I leave with Kenny, who was trying so desperately to protect me, to keep the remaining fragments of my soul pieced together. Before I could make a decision, Kenny started in again.
"Kyle'll only deceive him! It's what he's been doing for almost a fucking year! He plays these god damned mind games and no one can figure him out!"
"No, Kenny. I won't." the redhead begged softly. He looked pleadingly at the blond for any sympathy. "I want to talk. I feel bad."
Kenny made a sarcastic noise in the back of his throat. "How dare you say you feel bad?! You gave into it, Kyle! You're the weak one here!"
Wait. Hadn't Kenny said that he knew I wasn't strong? Quite the opposite, those had been his words. Now he was saying that Kyle was even weaker than me?
"You always got angry! You always gave into what Eric said about you! EVERY TIME! It drove you insane, don't you get it? You were driven mad by revenge and the desire to inflict the same pain that built up inside of you! You allowed simple words and stupid actions to corrupt you, you stupid, fucking Jew! And you have the nerve to suggest you've managed to take control just like that?! You lost your sanity to revenge a long time ago, Kyle. I'm sorry."
Kyle looked at Kenny. "You're right," he agreed evenly. "But I've run out all I had. I'm emotionally drained. The revenge ends here. Look at him," he motioned to me, "do you really think I could do any worse? That I have the evil inside of me to hurt him any more than I have? It's over. Stan, Kenny...Eric. I could never hurt another human being the same way I did just recently. My reign of terror ends here. Sociological torment is over."
He stopped speaking abruptly. Finally, Stan spoke. "I believe you. Kenny? Cartman?"
I nodded. "I want to talk to Kyle."
My other friend gave in at my request, but didn't lose his fervid sense of protectiveness over me. "Kyle, buddy. If you dare to hurt Eric, if you say one little thing to make him cry again, I'll break your fucking Jew legs. And then, I'll snap your neck. Got that?"
"Yes." he responded, looking right back into Kenny's eyes. Without another word, he led me out the door.
"Come on, dude," I heard Stan murmur comfortingly, "we'll come up with an excuse for them to have skipped class."
The two of us stood alone in the cold morning air. The rising sun was blinding, but the air was chilly and I wished I had grabbed my heavier coat before following my ex-boyfriend outside. Huh, I had never thought of him as such. I shivered and was shocked to see Kyle shrug off his own orange jacket and offer it to me. "I don't—"
"Please take it. It'll make me feel better."
"Thanks."that had been the last thing he had said to me before he left me. It felt sarcastic to say, but I meant it seriously,and pulled it around my shoulders without bothering to slide my arms through it. I could feel his body heat on the inside material. It was nostalgic, comforting. Only Kyle didn't love me and the reason he offered it was a mystery. That is, until he spoke.
"Tell me, 'I'm sorry'...is that too simple? I mean, that's the gist of it, but would it make you angry if I said that, or should I say it anyway to get the point across before I explain myself?"
"You're apologizing?" I raised an eyebrow. Now that I saw him so sad and flustered, I couldn't remember what had been so intimidating about him. He was smaller than me for one thing, and his expression wasn't so tough. He looked weak, fragile, even. Maybe he really had been driven mad. I realized upon observing him (he looked back at me, allowing me to read his face silently) that this was the delicate Kyle that I had fallen in love with. That thought made me shiver despite the fact that I was no longer cold with his coat around me.
"Yeah. I-I am. Eric...hear me out, please. Then, you can say whatever you want and it'll be fine but just listen to me so I can have peace of mind in that I tried to explain myself. Please."
"Start now." I said. But it wasn't a command. It was an offer. I wanted to hear Kyle explain himself. I wanted him to express what had led to something so out of character. I wanted to forgive him. Was I weak? Was it wrong of me to have such a weak and pathetic sense of self? Kyle sighed.
"Do you think...it's possible for someone to fall in love with the enemy? I did hate you...but Kenny's right. That just became my persona. I disregarded my real feelings and morals. I knew what I was doing to you, but the game was so thrilling I ignored that. Until we started dating. When it was just the two of us...even when other people were around, you just became a new person! You were kind, loving...the opposite of what I had trained myself to believe you were.
" I felt bad about hurting you...I actually started to regret it, but I convinced myself I had to do it to stop you from ever bashing my religion! I didn't want to hurt you anymore. But I forced myself to keep going. I had to reach the pinnacle. When I did, I felt like I had lost my flame. The passion that had kept me going was gone. And worst of all, I couldn't wipe the look on your face from my mind. You looked so abandoned, so crushed...all because of me. The more I thought about it, the more I realized the truth...
"I'm in love with you.
"Eric, just...being around you, seeing how much you loved, how much my happiness mattered to you...and it wasn't an act. I wanted to keep the charade going because it meant I could stay with you and feel special. I'm sorry for hurting you. And also for loving you. But it's the truth."
I gaped. "So...what are you saying? You want...to go out with me again?"
He looked really happy for a few seconds. Like I had suggested something huge to him. Like I had promised him the key to the city. Then, his face fell.
"No...I can't ask that of you. It'd be painful for you, I'm sure. I don't want to hurt you...sorry. But I want you, yeah. I love you. I am unconditionally, completely, in love with you. You're great, really. I've never met anyone so loving and romantic as you. I never want to forget the way you made me feel. But I'll also never forget how I hurt you. I can't ever...risk hurting you again."
A heavy silence fell over the two of us. Kyle shivered and I removed the jacket, shoving it at him. He stared at it blankly.
"Kyle, take the—"
"So you're not even going to gratify me with an answer?"
"Oh. Take this. Then we can talk," he obeyed. "How can you expect me to believe you after all you did to me?"
"I don't," he responded simply, "I just told you the truth. Interpret it however you want. I failed my mission horribly. I fell in love with you while trying to destroy you. What can I say? Love is blind. Um...that's it. So...bye."
I grabbed his arm forcefully as he tried to run away. "Wait. Just wait. Kyle..." and before I could help it I had pulled him into a tight embrace. I felt him shudder as though shocked to feel my body against his again and then he wrapped his arms around me. Overcome with emotions I couldn't make sense of, I tilted his face up towards mine and leaned down slowly to kiss him. He made no move to pull away so I closed the space between us. When he didn't didn't kiss back immediately, I angled my mouth differently over his and urged him to. He did, his lips molding against mine.
It was passionate, loving, desperate, different from any other kiss we had ever shared. We pulled away, looking into each other's eyes. Jade into chocolate, chocolate into jade. I realized that it was as though we had just shared our first kiss. Both of us shy, awkward, but both of us needing the other...loving the other.
"I know it's stupid, but I'm still in love with you." I admitted.
"I love you so much," he sobbed, clinging to me. He was crying? Kyle Broflovski was crying?! I held him. Maybe some day soon, he'd betray me again. Maybe he'd laugh and say I was a stupid bastard. But something in those eyes promised otherwise. I was trusting Kyle and trusting my heart once more. Yeah, he could hurt me worse than before if he wanted to. But I doubt he will.
"Come on," I said, leading him back inside by the hand, "we'll clean you up in the bathroom and get to class."
He nodded, giving my hand a squeeze. It was the most affectionate thing he had ever done to me. And I knew it wouldn't be the last.
I love how optimistic it is, it leaves the future up to you, lucky reader! So OK, better? Yay, Eric! Yay, Kyle! I don't hate Kyle, I just think he has a malevolent side just as dark as Eric's if not darker (probably cuz he's smarter). I really enjoyed writing Kenny as the protective voice of reason who diagnosed Kyle's insanity, and was even a little violent, YAY VIOLENCE! Stan seemed really weak and ineffective at first, but when you look at it from a different perspective, I think he was just being the mediator and refusing to take sides. I don't think he was weak, anyway, it's hard to describe.
SO THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT...this was one of the funnest to type even if it's scary for me to type such depressing stuff. REVIEW, I LOVES YOU ALL!
