Author's Notes: Hello angels. I have some not so good news. This is the last chapter that I have written and I'm suffering from an extreme case of writers block :( I'm so sorry but I'm not going to be able to update for a few days. If you want to be informed on when I update you can add the story to your alert list and the website will email you. Thank you all for your reviews I'm so grateful that so many of you keep reading and come back daily for more. I promise I'll update as soon as I possible can. Here you have it the next thrilling chapter...
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Stephenie!
Chapter 8
It was late when I got home. As I pulled into the driveway I could see Jasper pacing in front of the window as he watched for me. I sat there unable to move, not crying, not thinking just in shock. Jacob is alive. And he left us on purpose. I didn't sit there very long before Jasper was at my side.
"Bella? What's wrong? What happened?" he asked, frantically.
I just shook my head, still unable to say anything. He picked me up, carried me in the house and sat me on the couch. "Where's Conner?" I asked, when I was able to find my voice. I didn't want him to see me like this.
"I already put him to bed. It's after ten Bella, have you been at Billy's this whole time?" he replied.
"Yeah…" I said, putting my head in my hands. Trying to get everything straight, trying to make myself believe what just happened. Jasper sat down beside me and pulled me into his lap. He didn't say anything he just held me and ran his fingers through my hair waiting for me to talk. After awhile I finally I thought I would be able to tell him.
"Jazz,…Jake was at Billy's."
"What are you talking about Bella? Jake's gone." he said, looking at me as if I'd lost my mind.
"No, he came back to see Billy." I told him.
"I don't understand Bella, what do you mean he came back'?"
I told him everything Jake had said making sure he understood we couldn't tell anyone. When I was done Jasper was livid.
"So he just left? He left, leaving you to raise a four year old on your own. What was he thinking?" Jasper said when I was finished.
"Jazz, calm down, I don't want to wake Conner." I said, rubbing his back.
"God Bella, I'm sorry. Are you okay? How can you be so calm about this?"
"I'm not. I spent a good ten minutes yelling at him and I'm still pissed but I'm also…" I couldn't talk anymore through the tears that had finally started to fall again. "How…how could he leave us like that?" I asked sobbing uncontrollably.
"Shh, I don't know Angel. But I think, from what you told me, he thought he was doing the right thing. Are you ever going to tell Conner?" he asked.
"Not for a long, long time. Maybe when he turns 18. I don't know, maybe not even then. It just doesn't feel right knowing Jacob is out there and letting Conner spend the rest of his life thinking his Dad is dead. Do you think he'll hate me for keeping it from him for so long if I do eventually tell him?"
"No, we'll explain everything, if you ever decide to tell him. I think if we wait until he's an adult himself then he'll understand. Don't worry about it now, you have years to decide." he said soothingly, still running his hands through my hair. Just being in his presence was calming me down. He had always been able to do that, one touch and nothing seemed to be as bad as I'd thought.
We sat there for hours not talking, both of us lost in our own thoughts. I finally stood up and led him to our bedroom. I shed all my clothes before removing his. "Make love to me Jazz." I pleaded. And he did, slowly, sweetly. He never broke eye contact, silently telling me he would never leave me. He whispered to me the whole time. Telling me how much he loves me, needs me, that he would always be there worshiping me and taking care of me. Then he held me as close as he could still whispering to me as I fell asleep.
Conner woke me the next morning by bouncing on the bed. Jasper was standing beside the bed with a tray of food, laughing. I reached up and grabbed my giggling son. He screamed and laughed as I tickled him. "Good morning Mommy! Me and Dad made you breakfast." he said when I let him go.
"You did? Thank you, what did you make?" I asked, sitting up.
"Daddy said you would need some chocolate chip pancakes to help you wake up." he told me as Jasper sat the tray in my lap.
"Daddy was right. Thank you both they look delicious." I said smiling at Jasper. He knew that chocolate chip pancakes was my ultimate comfort food.
Conner told me all about their camping trip while I ate. "And Grampa, Papa and Uncle Em were in the boat and they were trying to catch the fishes in the net but Uncle Em leaned to far over and the boat turned over and they all went in the water. Then Uncle Em made us promise not to tell. Oops!" he said, smacking his hand over his mouth. I was laughing so hard Jasper had to move the tray so I didn't knock it over.
"I knew I should have sent the video camera with you." I gasped out. "I would have loved to have seen that!"
"I think Edward got some pictures. It was hilarious! Charlie and Carlisle didn't know weather to be mad or laugh. And Em was actually embarrassed! I never thought I'd see the day that Emmett finally did something to embarrass himself." Jasper said laughing.
"Oh, I can't wait until I see him again! I owe him for years of embarrassing me. I have to call Edward and get him to send the pictures to me. Thank you again for breakfast by if I don't get in the shower I'm going to be late for work." I said, kissing both of them on the cheek and grabbing my clothes before going into the bathroom.
I was standing under the scalding water when the night before came back to me. I sank to the floor crying. I still couldn't believe Jake had left like that. It actually made me feel a little better knowing that at least he was still alive. It still hurt to know that he willingly made the decision to leave us. I decided then, that I was going to let this go. Nothing had changed, Jake was still gone. I pulled myself off the floor and finished my shower.
After getting ready I took the card Jacob had given me and went to Jasper's office. He was already sitting behind his desk working. "Hey Jazz, can you put this in the safe for me?"
"Sure. What is it?" he asked.
"He gave it to me in case there is ever an emergency and I need to get a hold of him." I said handing him the card. I didn't want to say Jacob's name because I wasn't sure where Conner was and I didn't want him to start asking questions. Jasper just nodded and got up and went over to the safe.
"How are you this morning?" he asked, worriedly.
"I'm fine. I'm just going to let this go. Nothings changed, he's still gone. I'm glad to know that he's still alive but I've already grieved over this and as much as it hurts I'm not going to do it again." I told him, giving him a sad smile.
"Okay, we just won't talk about it anymore if you don't want to. Do you want me to take Conner to school?" he asked, looking at me over his shoulder as he closed the safe.
"That's alright I'll drop him off on my way to work. Oh, did I tell you I found my wedding dress?"
"No you didn't. I haven't got to hear about your weekend yet. You'll have to tell me over dinner. I'm cooking tonight." he said smiling.
"Jazz, you made breakfast. I'll make dinner. What do you want?"
"Let's compromise, we'll order pizza. Let the delivery guy see a different Swan for once." he said, laughing as he came over and kissed me.
"Sounds good. Can you pick Conner up from school? I know that taking Friday off that there are tons of reports on my desk waiting to be typed, sorted and filed."
The deputys had to write hourly shift reports, make notes on every call that came into the station and record that when they went on patrol everything was as it should be. And it is my wonderfully fulfilling job to type these reports and enter them into the computer. This might be an interesting job anywhere else in the world but here in Forks, where nothing happens it's mind numbingly boring.
"No problem. I'll take him by the video store and get us a movie for tonight." He kissed me again and walked with me to the door.
"Conner, lets go we're going to be late." I yelled up the stairs. A minute later Conner came running down the steps. "Hey! You know better than to run down stairs." I scolded. "Got everything?" I asked. He nodded. "Book bag?" He held it up. "Pencils, folder and homework?" he nodded again. "Okay lets go. See you later Jazz." I said kissing him again.
AN: I promise to update as soon as possible. Until then my angels! I hope to hear what you think so far. Much love, quickbunny01
