By now, the sun had emerged. Alice was never wrong about such things.
"Are you sure you don't want to go down to the pool?" Renee asked again. She was ready to spend the rest of the afternoon outdoors. I want them to have a great time here.
"No, thank you. I have a term paper to write, and I need to use the computer."
"Go ahead, Mom," said Bella. "I'll meet you there in a few minutes."
"OK, but if you get done, please come and join us, Edward!"
As soon as the door closed, I swept Bella into my arms.
"Renee's waiting. Let me go change," she said, laughing.
I obeyed, but I stared into her eyes as I slid my hands slowly from her face down her neck to her shoulders and along her arms. I kept my gaze locked on hers as I lifted her hands to my lips and kissed them before releasing her. She didn't move.
"Bella, you wanted to change," I prompted her gently.
"Do you have any idea what you do to me?" she breathed.
"I know what I want to do to you."
"I wish! But my mother is waiting." She sighed as she went to her room and shut the door firmly.
My thoughts on the impossible softness of her skin were interrupted when I heard the door open. My eyes widened, and my whole body was jolted by what I saw. It felt like catching the scent of a lion or bear on a hunt. All my senses were heightened and focused. Bella was standing before me in her swimsuit. My prey… but it wasn't desire for blood that possessed me.
"You look beautiful," I gasped.
She blushed, increasing her allure even further. I'd spent countless marvelous hours kissing and caressing her, but in cool, rainy Forks I'd never had an opportunity to see her like this.
"Really? You think so?"
"Bella, how can you ask? You've dazzled me, completely." I fell to my knees in front of her and pressed my lips to her hands again. "Now go, or I won't be able to let you out of my sight."
She giggled as she left. She didn't seem to grasp that I was serious. I lay down on the couch to recover my equilibrium. I closed my eyes and listened for Renee. The pool was bathed in golden sunshine, but only a few people lounged by its side. Renee was still waiting for her daughter. Both of us were thinking about Bella. I thought she was just going to Forks for a couple of years. In my mind it was just another trip to visit Charlie, just a little bit longer than usual. She wanted to spend time with her father, and it was a lot easier for me to travel with Phil that way. I thought when I saw her again, she'd be the same. Now I see how foolish that was. She's not a book that I can pick up where I left off. Children are always growing, even the ones who were already so grown up.
"Hi, Mom!" Bella bounced into view. She lay down on the chaise and began applying sunscreen to her face, her arms, her legs. Romeo's words came to mind. Oh that I were a glove upon that hand... I didn't like to admit how much I had in common with him, but at the moment, I was also watching my love from afar.
Renee was still assessing Bella. When we lived in Phoenix she had no interest in boys. She knew all about my mistake. She knew that love and good intentions don't always mean you're doing the right thing. Besides, Forks is so… small and provincial. Who there could interest my smart, level-headed daughter? I thought she might meet someone in college. It didn't happen that way. Being with Edward changed her, and losing him affected her even more deeply. I winced. I hated to be reminded of my mistake. Love and good intentions didn't mean what I did was right.
She's so aware of him. She watches him all the time, and she won't let him get too far away. She'll move or turn towards him so she's close again. A teenaged girl behaving like that with a boy…I would have judged her and said it wasn't healthy or appropriate. But he is the same way. He's just as enthralled with her as she is with him.
Renee was surprisingly perceptive.
I wanted her to wait. I wanted her to do more and see more before giving her heart and soul away. Will he treasure her? I wanted to reassure her that Bella would be the light of my existence long after every building in Jacksonville had crumbled to dust, but I knew I couldn't show that I was aware of her concerns. My daughter thinks for herself. She is so strong and so wise. She chose him. Can I trust her? I chided myself for my presumption. Why would the promises of a boy she barely knew matter to Renee? This issue was between Bella and her mother. I couldn't smooth things over and make everything right this time.
I left off listening for Renee as my own thoughts began to preoccupy me. A boy she barely knew. I'd like to hear it from him. Was it purely between Bella and her mother? Was there something I should do to help Renee accept our relationship? I had come to Jacksonville determined to play a part for Renee and Phil. There was so much about myself that I had to hide. But maybe I had to give her something real along with all the pretense.
I called Alice. I needed to feel that I was doing something.
"Why are you calling me?" she asked in an exasperated tone.
"How is everything?" I demanded.
"Everything is fine, which you know perfectly well, because I would have contacted you if there were a problem."
"I'm sorry, Alice. I trust you. You know that. I'm just…extremely tense."
"Please, please try to relax. You don't want Bella to notice there's something on your mind, do you? We are going to take care of things here. I will text you, just like we planned, when there's news. You only need to take care of things on your end. And I don't mean anything in particular. Now, do you mind if we say goodbye? I'm busy. Wait till you see what I've done to the entranceway. I just know you'll love it."
"Thanks," I said, but she had already ended the call. She was right. There were things I should take care of, now while I was alone in the apartment. I cleared the food I'd eaten from my body, and I opened a file containing a partial draft of my term paper on the computer. I had a completed version ready for the next day. My strategy was inspired by the cooking shows I'd been watching. The chef had the same dish in various stages of preparation, so that a finished product could be displayed to the camera within the allotted time. I quickly clicked through a series of websites on my topic. I doubted Renee or Phil would check the browser history. But if they did, it would look exactly as it should.
