Chapter 6: No Joe: Jaice's Coffee Crisis

"Say it again, slowly," Jaice said, trying to hide his anger.

"We are out of coffee," Baiten said, showing him the empty coffee pot and coffee box.

"No no no, how can this have happened?" Jaice said rapidly. "We just got a new box last week!"

"Jaice...I hate to be the bearer of bad news," Baiten said, "but that was actually three weeks ago, you probably just lost track of time when you were recovering from our last mission."

Jaice moaned, and headed to the door. "I'll go pick some up at the store down the street."

"Jaice, no!" Baiten cried out. "Remember how I left the house last week and you two called me back? We can't go out unless it's official business."

"You worry too much; no one will mind," Jaice replied calmly.

"When you get caught again, don't think I'm going to save you," Baiten said matter-of-factly.

"I won't get caught," Jaice laughed as he headed out the door. "I'll also get the cookies that you forgot about."

Baiten stood, shaking his head. Tairos left earlier for some reason and now Jaice is gone. I have the whole house to myself. I might as well use this time to catch up on some shut-eye. Baiten headed to his room and flopped down onto the bed.

Jaice walked carefully through the streets of Seireitei, hiding behind building after building whenever he thought another Shinigami might be nearby. I am about four blocks away from the store, Jaice thought, staying vigilant for patrols from the 7th Squad. On a normal day, I could reach the shop in about five minutes from this position, but today it seems that time may triple. Dang it I need my caffeine!

Jaice's thoughts were interrupted by a loud conversation he heard coming from around the corner; the voices were accompanied by heavy footsteps. Jaice ducked into an alleyway and hid behind a wooden crate as he waited for the voices and footfalls to pass.

Nice one, he thought, maybe I should change to the black ops division. Jaice the Silent and Sangren, I like the sound of that. Jaice shook his head, snapping himself out of his thoughts and back into reality. I have a job to do.

Jaice raced down the street, the shop in view, but suddenly had his way blocked by another Shinigami. He was short, barely reaching Jaice's chest, with scruffy blond hair that appeared as if it had never been washed. He wore an armband that marked him as a member of the 7th Squad.

"H...halt!" The Shinigami stammered. "Y...you cannot be here without official b..b...business! St...state why you a...are h..here or I will b...be f...forced to use force." He managed to blurt out.

"ARE YOU QUESTIONING MY AUTHORITY?" Jaice yelled, causing the shorter Shinigami to quiver and take a step back. "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? DO YOU?"

"N...no sir, but that d...doesn't matter," The 7th Squad member replied. "If you don't have official business, I c...can't let you p...pass!"

"YOU DAMN FOOL!" Jaice roared. "LET ME BY!"

"S...sir, if you continue l...like th...this I w...will call my superiors, and y...you won't w...want to deal with them."

Jaice growled, but realized he could not dare face an officer, or even Captain Komamura if he was especially unlucky. Also, this event would make him even more of a prime suspect as the murderer, so Jaice did what he had to. Grabbing his sleeve, he pulled it up to reveal his bare arm.

"I apologize!" The Shinigami squeaked as Jaice covered his arm. "You may pass!"

"Thanks," Jaice mumbled, pushing the short Shinigami aside and entering the shop. There was nothing particularly spectacular about the shop; the floor was bare wood, with shelves of the same material lining the walls. At the back of the building was a counter, behind which an elderly female Shinigami sat, polishing a pair of eyeglasses. Jaice, having come here many times before, walked to the fifth shelf on the left wall of the shop, grabbed a box of coffee and a bag of cookies. He walked toward the counter, stop, wheeled in place, and walked back to the shelf to grab another box of precious Java.

"Ah, young Gandaime," the woman said as Jaice walked up to the counter, "how have you been?"

"Well enough," Jaice answered curtly. "I'm buying these," he said, indicating the coffee and cookies he had placed on the counter. The clerk nodded and rung up his purchases; Jaice placed the exact amount of money on the counter before she could tell him the price.

"H...how?" She stammered, picking up the money as he walked out.

"With the amount of times I've been here, you think I haven't memorized the prices?" Jaice answered, walking out the door. The woman stood, shrugged, and went back to cleaning her glasses.

"Sweet sweet coffee!" Jaice cheered, strutting out of the store. "I've got to get home quick so I can make some!" Jaice rushed off, his eyes closed in jubilation. Suddenly, Jaice bumped into something, causing him to drop his purchases. He opened his eyes to see the short Shinigami from earlier; the 7th Squad member shrieked and ran off, trying to escape Jaice as quickly as he could. "Not the reaction I'd prefer, but it gets him out of my way at least," Jaice muttered as he picked up the cookies and coffee he had dropped. As he stood up, a katana blade pressed itself against his throat.

"And what are you doing here?" A deep voice boomed. Jaice looked up to see a tall, fat Shinigami standing over him, also with a 7th Squad armband. His hair was similar to that of the short Shinigami that Jaice had seen seconds previous, though it was longer and tied in a ponytail. "I saw my little brother running away from you, and I began to wonder...why?"

"I am gathering supplies to supplement myself before a mission," Jaice responded. "Now get out of my way, I need to get home."

"Oh no, you aren't going home," the fat Shinigami replied. "You are coming to see my superior, 4th Seat..."

"I don't have time for this," Jaice groaned, standing up and pushing the katana away with his hand. "How about this, I give you a cookie and we pretend you never saw me?"

"What do you take me for, some fat oaf who can be bought off by a circle of dough and chocolate chips?"

"Yeah, you look the part," Jaice answered, insult clear in his voice.

"You bastard!" The 7th Squad member growled. "First you scare my brother, and then you insult me! And you're breaking the law! You are going to pay!" Jaice stepped back, avoiding a swipe of his assailant's sword.

"You also are breaking the law," Jaice said, seemingly unaffected by the assault. "Enforcers are not allowed to use force to apprehend their targets unless the target resists physically or with kidou. I might as well report you; I think swinging a sword at an unarmed opponent is a bit more of a crime than going to buy some food."

"N...no!" The Shinigami stammered, reminding Jaice of his stuttering brother. "D...don't report m...me! Let's c..call it even, ok?"

"Done," Jaice answered, walking away. He arrived at the house a few minutes later, and promptly began to make his coffee. He drank the thick brown liquid and smiled; this was bliss...

"So...how was the shopping?" Baiten's voice broke the silence.

"Uneventful."

Character Profile: Jaice Gandaime

Age: Unknown (appears 21 in human years)

Height: 182.88cm (6 feet 0 inches)

Affiliation: 9th Squad

Rank: Basic Shinigami (unseated)

Hobbies: Modeling, hiking, sparring, tae-kwon-do, reading, writing.

Zanpakuto: Sangren

Shikai: Sangren takes the form of a machete and is constantly in its released form; Jaice keeps it wrapped in a layer of cloth when not in use. The blade emits acid when Jaice declares "Bleed"; the acid is partially composed of Jaice's blood, meaning it cannot affect Jaice. Sangren's acid can melt many substances, including stone and some types of metal.