Title: Fall to Pieces

Author: Gaia

Pairing: 1x2

Rating: R (violence and language)

Warnings: yaoi, Duo abuse, evil monkey!Relena, slightly OOC, coughs angst, um…blood (I'm sorry…if you don't want to see blood, then do not, I repeat, DO NOT read this…. Death?

Disclaimers: I, unfortunately, don't own the Gundam Boys… but I wish I did! I also don't own the song Fall to Pieces. That belongs to Velvet Revolver.

Notes: I'm sorry? This came out of having heard this song for the first time in a long while. It just popped in my head. I would like to apologize to anyone who has been waiting for new installments in anything else I've written. I am working on them! I promise. The only thing that isn't working is that these little fics keep popping in my head and I need to get them out before I can work on anything else. So again, I'm sorry!

/blah/- lyrics

Fall to Pieces

Duo looked up at the sky, rain falling on his skin.

It had been three years since he had left Heero. Three years since he had tried to kill himself. Two years and ten months since Wufei had moved in with him.

/It's been a long year

Since you've been gone

I've been alone here

I've grown old

I fall to pieces, I'm falling

Fell to pieces and I'm still falling/

Duo sighed and looked down at the sidewalk. Cracks ran through the concrete, rain soaking into them. His life had cracked and fallen apart the day that Heero had accepted the job offer from Relena.

He slid one sleeve up, staring at the long, faint scar that went from the middle of his forearm to his wrist. An identical scar marked his other arm. The only reason he had not succeeded in his suicide was Wufei. He had often come over unexpectedly after work because he knew Duo needed his support with the Heero situation. He had walked in that day and found Duo, collapsed and bleeding, in the bathroom.

/Every time I'm falling down

All alone I fall to pieces/

Duo had been diagnosed with severe depression and put on a suicide watch while in the hospital. Wufei had moved in the day Duo had gotten released.

Wufei, however, had not stopped watching him. If Wufei knew he couldn't be there, he sent Hilde to watch Duo or occasionally had Quatre and Trowa stay over. Lady Une had lessened the amount of missions Wufei had away from L2, knowing that if Duo was lost, the other ex-Gundam pilots would be deeply affected.

They had finally relaxed about watching him about four months ago. Duo let them believe he was getting better, but thoughts of suicide were always in the back of his mind.

Wufei had even started to trust Duo enough to leave him home alone, for short intervals.

Duo smiled slightly as he thought of tonight. Wufei was letting him stay home without freaking out and finding someone to watch him.

Duo hated to ruin all the time everyone had focused on him, but he just couldn't live this life anymore. It was too hard. He needed Heero, but, Heero didn't need him. He had proved that by staying with Relena.

Duo continued his walk, all the while thinking of his plan. He smiled grimly as he reached his door and unlocked it. He listened to the sounds of the house, noting that the only sounds other than his own came from the household appliances.

/I keep a journal of memories

I'm feeling lonely, I can't breathe

I fall to pieces, I'm falling

Fell to pieces and I'm still falling/

Duo went into his room and pulled out a small shoe box from under his bed. It contained his scrapbook and his switchblade (the one Wufei hadn't found).

He opened the scrapbook to the last page, his favorite page. It held one picture, of him and Heero, the last time they had been truly happy. It was from right after the second war had ended. Duo was sitting on Heero's lap, gazing down at him affectionately and smiling. The corner of Heero's mouth was tilted up in the largest version of a smile that Duo had ever seen from the stoic boy.

/Every time I'm falling down

All alone I fall to pieces/

Duo laid the book down and wiped away the tears that had formed in the corners of his eyes. He then picked up his switchblade and slowly spun it in his hands, light glinting off the metal.

He drew in a deep breath and pressed the blade against his forearm until it drew blood and then dragged it down his arm to his wrist. Blood began flowing freely, splashing down on Heero's face in the picture, making it look like blood-red tears on his face.

Before he could lose too much blood, he repeated his actions on the other arm. Blood now pouring from both wrists, Duo pressed his fingers to his lips and then to the picture of Heero as darkness began encroaching at the edges of his vision.

"Goodbye, Heero. I'll always love you."

All the years I've tried

With more to go

Will the memories die

I'm waiting

Will I find you

Can I find you

We're falling down

I'm falling

Heero raced over the recently repaired streets of L2. His heart raced, but not because he was running. He was on his way to see Duo, for the first time in three years.

Flashback

"Heero, you're what?" The incredulous tone in Wufei's voice was unmistakable over the phone.

"I'm coming to L2. Lady Une has stationed me there. I don't work for Relena anymore. Une made her release me." Heero said, happiness seeping through his normal monotonous voice.

"Oh, thank god," Wufei sighed with relief, "Maybe… Heero, do you still love Duo?"

"More than my life."

"Good. He's going to be here later on tonight and I'll be at work. When are you arriving?"

"In about three hours. When will Duo come home?" Heero said, nerves swirling in his stomach like the seas after a storm.

"He's going to be getting in around the same time as you. Surprise him. I know things have been hard for you too, but being alone together will give you time to talk about everything that happened. Anyway, I have to go and finish getting ready for work. Goodbye, Yuy."

Heero heard the dial-tone and hung up the phone, a small smile spreading over his face.

Flashback ends

Heero stood in front of the door that stood between him and Duo. He absently ran a hand over his hair, trying vainly to flatten it as he walked up and knocked.

Heero waited impatiently, but when no one showed up at the door after a few minutes, he pushed gently on the knob and smiled as the door swung open.

"Duo?" He called softly, but Duo didn't answer, so Heero walked farther into the room.

No lights were on, but the artificial sunlight lit up the room anyway. Heero saw the back of the couch and the coffee table in front of it. On the coffee table, he saw Duo's scrapbook and noticed that it was on the last page, containing his favorite picture of the two of them.

Something other than plastic glinted off the page and Heero walked closer, curious to find out what was on the page. As he reached the back of the couch, he noticed the red color of the droplets and looked in between the couch and the coffee table.

"DUO! Oh, god, Duo. What have you done?" Heero didn't notice when tears sprang to his eyes as he vaulted over the couch and knelt in front of Duo. He pulled Duo's head onto his lap as he saw the puddle of blood surround them both.

Heero cried silently as he ripped off the arms of his shirt and wrapped them tightly around Duo's wrists.

"Duo, how could you? I love you. I came back for you." Heero asked sadly.

He cradled the other boy in his arms as he reached for the phone and dialed 911.

"Hello. Please state your emergency."

"I need an ambulance at 572 Millson Highway. Please, he's bleeding so much." Heero choked the words out.

"Yes, sir. We'll be there as soon as possible. What is the nature of his injury?" The operator's calm voice was annoying Heero.

"All I need is an ambulance."

"Yes, sir. I know, sir. An ambulance is already on its way. However, I need to know the nature of the emergency."

Heero grunted. "He tried to commit suicide by slitting his wrists. Any other information can be asked as soon as the ambulance arrives and we are on our way to the hospital." Heero hung up the phone and threw it across the room, uncaring that it shattered as it hit the wall as he concentrated on Duo's face.

He ran one hand down Duo's cheek and jumped when Duo moved slightly beneath his hand.

Bleary violet eyes blinked up at him.

"Heero? I must be dead. There's no way you could really be here." Duo's voice was raspy and quiet.

"I am here, Duo. I love you."

"I love you too. So much that I can't live without you." Duo's eyes closed slowly.

"Duo? Duo? DUO! You can't leave me! I've only just arrived. Please don't leave me alone." Heero pressed his face into Duo's chest and felt the slight movements of breath. He was still breathing, but slowly and it was getting slower.

Five minutes later, Heero was jolted out of the position at the sound of sirens, getting closer with each passing second.

"Duo, you're going to be okay. I promise. I'm here now and I'll stay with you forever." His voice was soft, but Heero knew that Duo would soon know the truth of his words.

/Every time I'm falling down

All alone I fall to pieces./

End part 2

AN: I'M SORRY! I only meant for this to be two parts, but its taking on a life of its own. I'll try to post more soon.