Atopos - God, this isn't as good as my previous three chapters, but I assure you, I'm going somewhere with it. You may have to wait until after exams, of course. I honestly don't know when I'll be updating when Summer starts, and I've been working on my own things, so...who knows? Please R&R for me, good reviews make for harder and faster work. Also, if you have any ideas (any!), I'd love to receive some!
Christmas is such a wonderful time of year.
The sights are gorgeous.
Muddy snow covering the ground. Little kids pushing each other face first into the ice. Adults swarming stores to get the toy their children want. And, of course, steel bars.
Sigh, I hate prison…
"Blondie, we need to strip search you."
"I'm not fucking leaving this cell, un."
"Have it your way."
……
Maybe prison has it perks. Sempai doesn't think so, though. There are so many problems with being in a tight, cold, little cell…to sempai there are many problems with being in a tight, cold, little cell. To me it involves sempai wandering around in dirty robes getting searched by bigger ninjas (or is the plural for ninja 'ninja', like how the plural for sheep is 'sheep'?) and having to share a bed for body heat with me.
We get two square meals a day and get to talk with people. Even though they have searched sempai nearly every day this week (yes, I said week and I don't know if anyone's coming for us, thanks for asking), they have yet to discover that he originally came from Iwagakure. My only guess is that they must have forgotten an extremely young ninja blowing the stuffing out of their village.
After the other ninja leave, sempai sits with me. We don't do anything special, we just sit, stare, maybe talk, usually think. Sempai is always nervous about this time of day. The first time I asked why, he told me that "it was none of my fucking business, so shut up, and quit staring when someone has to use the bathroom". Like having one toilet in the middle of the cell is my fault.
I plan on asking again. You know, as if I'm completely taking advantage of the fact that he's probably gone even more insane than he used to be.
"Sempai, is there something wrong?"
Sempai snorts. "Don't be stupid. I'm stuck in a cell with the biggest idiot ever, un."
"And me, right, sempai?!"
Deidara-sempai stares at me. Okay, so the joke did nothing to lighten the mood one bit. The only good thing about this is that I've lost most of the nervousness I had before whenever I tried to talk to sempai. Being locked in a jail cell does that to a person, I suppose.
"Sempai? Did Sasori-san ever get you two in such a position?"
The cell went cold…well, even more so because we were near an open window. I knew sempai still missed his danna. This would be the first holiday without him. I took his empty seat on sempai's right. We were believed to be the worst twosome ever, but I decided to prove them (coughHidancough) wrong.
Sempai and I would be tough!
Sempai and I would be the best duo/pairing ever!
Sempai and I would escape the jail cell with at least a shred of dignity left!
Ow!
Sempai points to the people in the cell across from us. They stare at him like he's a slice of meat and they're the hungry dogs. To them, I'm invisible. Sad, yes. Effective, yes. Does it make me any unhappier? Not really, I don't mind. Let them think Tobi is weak. Tobi is all-powerful! WHEEEE!
……
I know it's supposed to be a scary laugh, but…oh well…
"Do something about it, dumbass, un." Sempai huddles farther into the back corner of the cell. He wraps his arms around his knees and hides his face.
I point to them. "You…doo-doo heads better stay away from my sempai or else…I'll let him attack you. Go get 'em, sempai!"
Deidara-sempai gives me a look of pure horror. "Don't be an asswipe, un!"
"I'll do something to your ass, sweetheart!"
Sempai and I stare at the man in disgust.
He stole my idea!
He also wants to do dirty things to my sempai!
"Alright, that's it," I stand up and move towards the cell bars. "Go kill them, sempai! They deserve it!"
Once again, sempai stares at me as if I'm the one he wants dead. I did nothing wrong. The problem with sempai in this state is that he thinks everyone is going to recognize him if he attacks someone. Therefore (big word), he leaves me to defend. He must know by now that I am peaceful. That no matter what, I shall not kill!
"You're a wuss, un," Deidara-semapi shoots at me, glaring.
A wuss that loves you!
"Maybe I can ask for my own cell."
I panic. "No, sempai! How will I protect you then?"
……
"What an asshole."
I don't know for sure if that came from the dirty, evil man in the other cell or my beloved sempai. At least they know that I'm alive, though.
"When we get out of here," sempai growls 'seductively' into my ear, "I'm going to fucking kill you."
For now I'm alive.
Very, very soon, Tobi is going to be blown up by his greatest sempai ever!
If we ever get out of here...
- Atopos
