Here is another edition! Hope you like it!
BTW, I'm currently writing a Grapefruit Juice special that will be much longer than they usually are. It will be out soon, and hopefully, it will be very funny!
Also, these two are longer than they usually are.
Disclaimer: I do not own teen titans.
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King Me!
"Wait...can I move this piece here or here?" He asked, picking up his red piece. Lian sighed.
"We've been over this several times. First of all, you're not supposed to pick the piece up. Second, you can move it diagonally as long as you go forward," she told him. He put the piece back down and studied to board again.
"Can I move it here?" He asked, pointing to a space behind him. Lian put her head in her hands.
"All I wanted to do was play checkers. I guess I didn't think you could be this stupid at a game that is so easy!" Jake frowned.
"Is that a yes?" he asked. Lian cringed. She was seriously considering killing him at this point. Fortunately for Jake, Victor walked over at that exact moment, meaning that there would be a witness.
"Hey, what are you playing?" Victor asked.
"We're playing checkers!" Jake replied cheerfully, obviously unaware of what was about to happen just moments ago.
"Hmmm...well, you have this all wrong. You need to move your piece there, and then double jump her here," he told Jake, motioning at the board.
"No way," Mar'i argued, walking over to the game board, "He has to work his way around all of her pieces, get a king, and then jump all of her pieces, having the advantage that she doesn't."
"Hey!" Lian interjected, "Why are you strategizing against me?" No one seemed to hear her.
"Are you kidding? He needs to use my method," Victor told her.
"No, the better way is mine! I'm a checkers expert!"
"I'm more of an expert than you are!"
"Well you know what I am?" Lian asked, standing up, "I'm breaking this board!" She picked up the board, tore it in half, and threw it out the window, leaving a shocked Mar'i and Victor. She stormed out of the room.
"Hey, since you two are the experts," Jake said, looking over at them, "Does that mean I win?"
Flour or Flowers?
She picked up the sack of flour, giving it a questioning look. She gazed up at her teacher, back at the sack of flour, and back at her teacher once more.
"Are you trying to tell me that I'm supposed to take care of this sack of flour for a week?" She asked him. He nodded in response.
"Yes, you and your partner, Jake, will act as the mother and father of this sack of flour for seven days. And Lian, please, try not to kill the father of your child," he told her. Lian could practically feel the glare from Mar'i behind her.
"Alright, does everyone understand what you have to do?" Seeing as no one said anything, he continued, "Class dismissed!" The class filed out of the room, leaving overturned desks and chairs.
Later that same day...
"Just look at them, the way the baby that sack of flour is...is...well, I can't think of the word, but it makes me sick!" Mar'i said, holding the binoculars up to her face. Victor rolled his eyes.
"Come on, are you sure you aren't just, oh I don't know, jealous of the fact that Mr. Convoy paired Lian up with him to be a parent and not yourself?" he offered.
"What would make you think that?" she questioned.
"Oh, I don't know, maybe it's the fact that for the past few days, you've been glaring at Lian, you always have this sinister scowl on your face, and that we're sitting in a bush in the park spying on Jake and Lian! Can't you just let it go? I've had to protect our precious baby ever since you neglected it, not to mention the fact that I have grass all over my butt!" he complained.
"First of all, I am not jealous. Second of all, it is impossible to neglect and/or love a sack of flour. And lastly, deal with it! I don't care if you are around so much grass that you become allergic to it! Either sit here and shut up, or jump off a cliff. Your choice," she spoke with an almost venomous tone.
"You know what? Your words hurt, Mar'i," he told her. She pretended not to hear.
"I've got an idea!" Mar'i whispered to herself.
"Whatever it is, count me out!" He told her, leaving.
Later...again...
"Just look at my wonderful bag of flour! Isn't he the best?" Mar'i nearly shouted, just enough to get Jake to look over at her. He gave a questioning look at the 'best' bag of flour that she was currently holding.
"Uh...what are you doing?" He asked her cautiously. He had suspected something like this would happen, but he had hoped it wouldn't.
"Well, I was just taking my beautiful son, who isn't yours, out for a lovely stroll in the park so his father, who isn't you, could take a nice, long nap!" She exclaimed. Jake raised his eyebrow as he looked at the flour bag. Someone had drawn a really big eye on one side of its head, and a small one on the other. Its mouth was big and curvy, as if someone had hastily tried to draw it on. Mar'i noticed he was staring at it, and, trying to hide how horribly ugly it truly was, put it in a baby carriage.
Mar'i began to go on and on about the flour sack, how it had already earned a degree and was working as a fashion designer, and how he made it into a world records book for the first flour sack on the moon.
"Um, Mar'i? Your sack of flour is-" he began.
"First of all, his name is Schnookums. Second of all, what were you saying? That he was the best, the greatest? That he isn't even worthy of gazing upon your sack of flour? That he-"
"-is being eaten by squirrels?" he offered. She turned around and saw that he was, in fact, being eaten by squirrels. By the time she had pushed them all away, "Schnookums" was completely destroyed and Jake was gone. She sighed, knowing that she really screwed up this time, especially since Victor was also going to get a bad grade for this, too.
The Next Day
"Mar'i, where is your sack of flour?" Mr. Convoy asked. She looked at the floor.
"Well, see, he, uh..." she felt ashamed that she had let her jealousy get this far.
"He's right here!" Jake said, rushing into the classroom with a bag of flour. Mar'i's head shot up.
"Jake, why are you so late to class? And why do you have someone else's bag of flour?" Mr. Convoy asked.
"Well, Mar'i and Victor, as well as Lian and I, decided that if we wanted our children to grow up to be happy and healthy, they needed to have a play date! Last night, however, they had a sleepover!" Jake told him.
"Why on Earth is that sack of flour covered in a garbage bag?" Mr. Convoy asked. Jake gasped.
"Are you saying that you thought we shouldn't put clothing on them? That's like, like, child porn or something!" The rest of the class subconsciously looked down at their sacks of "naked" flour.
"Very well, you all receive A's," Mr. Convoy told them. Victor looked over at Mar'i.
"You sure have someone special there," he whispered. She silenced him with a mean look, but it wasn't very convincing seeing the pink on her face.
After school
"Here is your flour sack," Jake said, handing the sack to Mar'i.
"Oh, thanks. Why did you...wait a minute, this isn't a sack of flour," She said, feeling the package. She opened it up to see a plastic container filled with flowers. "Oh, I get it!" She said, finding it a little funny and oddly clever to have flowers in the place of flour. She smiled, "These will look great with my collection of wilted flowers!"
"Yes! I'm not the only one who knows that your dad can wilt flowers by simply looking at them!" Jake exclaimed.
"That's ridiculous. Everyone knows that flowers can't wilt by simply looking at them. All of my other flowers are wilted because I've had them for so long," she told him. She smirked, "How would you know whether or not he could wilt flowers?" Jake paled, before crossing his arms and leaning up against a tree.
"What? Wilt flowers? No, that's...that's stupid. Where did you hear that?" he asked.
"Don't play cool, you're not very good at it," she told him, before walking away.
"You know he can! I know you know it! Mar'i, come on! Don't walk away!" he yelled after her.
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Crap. I had an idea for another one, but I completely lost it. Oh well, this was long enough, I think.
Please Review!
XxNightfirexX
