I waited in the parking lot of the local high school, reclining in the driver's seat and staring blankly at the roof of the car. Ten minutes still remained in the school day, but I was always early. I could only be away from Renesmee for so long before it started to feel like the wiring in my body was being fried. Right now was an especially bad moment. I was aching to storm through those doors and find her class just so that I could see her. I hated the very walls that separated us.
Though they were never far from the present, I let my thoughts wander. I found myself thinking about how weird all of this was; how different I had been maybe eight years ago. I had lived on the reservation with my father, helping to take care of him and spending time with my friends when I got the chance. I had fixed cars and cliff dived and watched TV. I had been normal. Then I saw Bella Swan. I didn't change instantly. At first, I just kept thinking about how pretty she was. That was still something completely normal. I felt jealous of Cullen. Maybe even a little resentful. Still normal. But then things started changing. Kids around the res started acting strangely and I couldn't help getting sucked into it. I couldn't stop myself from shifting.
Back then, I would have never wanted this. I would have rather killed myself than live with a bunch of vampires and still be without Bella. As a person open to possibilities, I had never anticipated what was now my life. Funny how I didn't want anything else now.
I guess we had all started out normal. Carlisle had been the son of a father that expected too much of the wrong thing out of him. Esme had been an oppressed wife. Jasper fought in the Civil War. Emmett liked to hunt. Alice was a mental health patient. Rosalie was (and still is) vain. And Bella was a clumsy girl from Arizona.
But Renesmee... She had never been normal. I smiled, entertained by how my thoughts returned to her. However, thinking about her was nowhere near as satisfying as being with her, and I could no longer be forced to sit in the car. My legs itched to walk out the impatience. I opened the door and stepped out, pacing behind the car.
As the day edged closer to the end, more cars piled around me. Some waited at the door. Soon, the bell rang, and kids poured out of the building, some walking leisurely and others storming impatiently to their rides. None of them mattered to me. What I wanted was Renesmee.
And I found her by the curly bronze hair that bounced on her head as she walked.
I couldn't wait a single second longer. I left the side of my car – not concerned that the keys were still in the ignition – and approached the group. My ears became sensitive to the conversation as I got closer.
"So you'll call me later, right?" one of the girls asked.
"Yeah." That was Renesmee. Aside from the distinct sound of her voice, I could always tell which person in the crowd was my Nessie. She was the girl who spoke the least. Around her friends, she was forced to verbalize her thoughts; around everyone else, she could just touch us.
Another girl spoke, "I see Jake is picking you up again from school today." I heard the desire in her voice. It was cute, like the way a girl talks when she's in first grade and infatuated. It was certainly different from how Nessie pictured things. When she 'talked' to me, the feeling of the scene wasn't shy and adorable. She wasn't the type of girl who got butterflies in her stomach over some boy. She was possessive and slightly domineering. Certainly not in a way that caused me any alarm. It didn't ring the I need to get out of this relationship bells. I actually kind of liked it.
"Mhm." The sound of her voice was absolutely luxurious.
Their eyes followed me intensely as I took my first step onto the concrete. "Hey, Renesmee." I almost slipped; I almost called her Nessie. Renesmee was just such a mouthful. But Bella had practically beat it into me that her little girl was becoming a woman, and that calling Nessie at all was bad enough without people having to hear it in public. I restricted myself to her nickname only at home so as not to invoke the wrath of her mother.
A smile touched Nessie's face and I instinctively wrapped my arm around her. One of her friends – Melissa – eyed the both of us warily, obviously not approving of the gesture. Though she tried to be polite, Edward had heard her thoughts on countless occasions, all of which accused me of pedophilia. I wanted to be angry or hurt by the remark. Instead, all I could do was laugh.
I felt her fingertips brush the hand that was curled against her body. A vision flashed before my eyes. Simultaneously, her friends started talking again, but I heard their voices like they were off in the distance, not inaudible but not important. Not like what Nessie was showing me now: a day filled with words. She had had three speeches to present and now she was just done talking.
My own fingers embraced hers in encouragement. "Well, we'd better head back. Doctor and Mrs. Cullen wanted Renesmee home soon today." Nessie nodded in agreement before we turned in the direction of the car.
"Okay. Don't forget to call me, Ren!"
Her fingers gripped my arm now, and all I saw was Nessie choking Christy – the other friend. I laughed briefly before turning to seriousness. "You seem really annoyed. Did anybody say anything to you?"
Her touch became more gentle. No. Sometimes I just get so tired of talking, though. Just even hearing other people is hard sometimes. I wish I could do this with everyone. Even though no words actually came out of her mouth, I could hear the exhaustion in what she showed me.
We climbed into the car, I opening Renesmee's door for her before venturing to my side. By the time I was back in the vehicle, she had curled up in her seat, eyes closed and breathing steadied, like she was trying to fall asleep. I closed my door and looked at Nessie again. She wasn't wearing her seatbelt. Sometimes vampires got a little cocky. They thought they were invincible. Bella hadn't needed to yell at me for me to make sure Nessie was in her seatbelt. I would have done that anyway.
I leaned over and grabbed the belt, pulling it back over Renesmee's body. After it clicked and I was preparing to pull back so we could leave, I felt her hand fall onto mine. Her body temperature was warmer for a vampire's (considering she was only half), but she was still cool to the touch compared to me. Will you sing to me?
I chuckled. "I thought you were tired of hearing other people talk."
She shrugged, her body still slanted in the seat. It's different with you. I like your voice. She lifted her head and bore into my eyes with her own. Please?
Nessie knew that she didn't have to ask. I would do anything that she wanted. Anything. I searched my memory for a song. "How come I end up where I started? How come I end up where I went wrong? Won't take my eyes off the ball again. You reel me out then you cut the string."
The drive back home continued on like this. I finished with a song and she would ask for another while stroking my arm. Lately, all of the moments had been like this. They were intimate and quiet. If Edward saw this, he would not have liked it.
When we finally got home, it seemed like it had been forever. The atmosphere of the drive had just been so soft and gentle that fifteen minutes felt like three hours. I shifted to shut off the car and remove the key. Renesmee's fingers never left my flesh. She stroked my skin, noticeably darker than hers, and continued breathing softly. I wasn't getting any scene flashes, though. Her thoughts were her own.
"Nessie," I breathed, letting my other hand overlap hers so that I could play her with fingers. She didn't look up, so I tried again. "Nessie, what are you thinking about?"
The projection came instantly, no sign of hesitation present. I could see that I was in her memories, though the scenes were quick flashes. I sensed that this was what her mind was like at this moment: specific but fleeting. Then they stopped. I couldn't exactly see what was happening, but I felt a longing. It wasn't necessarily painful, but it was still maddening. I understood completely. "I can wait. As long as I can be near you, I can wait."
Though she nodded, and therefore understood what I had just said, she moved closer to me. Her body rolled so that she was now perched on her knees and inching nearer. I became fully aware that Nessie didn't wait.
Her breath was absolutely intoxicating, and not in some cheesy metaphorical way. Nessie had inherited both human and vampire qualities, and vampires had a tendency to smell very good. Well, not usually to me. In fact, I hated the smell of vampires. I guess the scent was somewhere between musty and rotten. So I couldn't explain why Renesmee's scent was alluring to me. It just was.
The air in the car thickened and I'm sure that the heat from my body helped. All I could think about was how much I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to be her everything. I wanted to touch her and lover her and never leave her side.
Her presence drew me nearer; her scent clouded my thoughts. "Nessie." I felt her hands snaking up my body until they reached my face. Her skin was so soft, but I could feel the marble hardness. She was the strongest woman I knew; stronger than Bella, even now. Nothing could break my Nessie. She was indestructible.
I breathed her in completely. This was how our life was going to be from now on. We would always be together. I would hunt with her, and neither of us would die. Maybe we'd even have a family of our own someday. Perhaps it was possible. Carlisle might know. I'll ask him later. The man was smart. For a vampire. Yeah, for a vampire.
I was nearly incoherent at this point. Her hair brushed against my face; her fingers stroked it. She arched her back and loomed over me, eyes severe and focused. From the tips of her fingers I could feel the passion that she felt for me. She had always, in some way or another, felt it. Our relationship was changing, but it was somehow still the same. I was hers; she was mine.
I called out her name again, wrapping my arms around her and bringing her close. Her lips found mine and if I had been aware of anything else but her before, I was no longer. I could taste and see and feel only her.
"RENESMEE!" My concentration broke. We pulled away, both recognizing the sound of Alice's voice. Our eyes searched for the danger that felt so imminent. We found nothing. I turned back to Nessie just quickly enough to see the car door ripped open and Renesmee pulled out.
