Well I'm back after a long period of brain freeze. I hope the next few guides come easier than this one. At least I have a few in mind.

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon, only a few games.


(Part XI: Leaving Them Home) Written by Brock Stone.

There comes a time when every trainer must do something that could prove fatal: leaving their pokemon to go on important errands. However there are some minor setbacks to leaving them home. You may return to find your home in shambles. Or, and this is especially true for psychic trainers who have teleporting pokemon, completely gone.

The rain spattered the windows, obscuring the scenery of the Ketchum's garden. Two pokemon leaned on their arms and stared glassy-eyed out the window, waiting for the return of their trainer. Grovyle seemed ready to explode from boredom, and turned to look at Pikachu. He grinned around the stick in between his teeth, holding up a roll of toilet paper in one hand. The yellow mouse looked up at the gecko, then joined him in grinning evilly.

Minutes later found the two pokemon running about the house, screaming and draping toilet paper over anything they could. They used the springiness of the couch and beds to get into even the most difficult of places. Pikachu was in the middle of a dive off of the bookshelf when the toilet paper strand ended. He landed with a squeak on the carpet, and sighed sadly as he held the cardboard tube in his paws.

Grovyle caught his attention by waving another roll in his face. The grass type then indicated the nearly full bag of the toilet tissue he had dragged out of the bathroom closet...

The most important thing to remember is to keep the toilet paper away from your pokemon. There is nothing worse than wasted toilet paper.

The mouse and the gecko panted in the middle of what used to be a nice clean living room, but was now draped in curtains of soft two ply. A pile of empty rolls lay feet from their heads.

The only problem was that their boredom had returned again. They looked carefully at the TV, with the satellite hook-up and surround sound. In no time the two pokemon had received an action packed movie on pay per view. For the first half-hour the pokemon watched the secret agent/brain surgeon/astronaut/PI blast his way through countless bad guys and hidden chambers. But as the hero moved in for a kiss from the beautiful vixen blonde rival agent/doctor named Mary Sue, the two found themselves becoming bored yet again.

So they both stood up and left the TV to play on its own while they moved into the kitchen.

I would suggest hiding the remote or unplugging the TV so your pokemon do not run up expensive pay per view movies on your bill. Or at least lock up the TV.

Grovyle helped place every last flavor of ice cream onto the counter where Pikachu sat. The two had already set the numerous other ingredients on the counter: chocolate syrup, hot fudge, cherries, nuts, assorted sprinkles, cookies, and bananas. Pikachu carefully retrieved the bowls from the closet and was making his way to the food when the bowls slipped from his paws and shattered on the ground.
The pokemon looked at one another while Grovyle hastily used his foot to scrape the remains under a nearby rug. He acted as though nothing had happened.

Pikachu gestured at the food sitting out on the table, making it known to his fellow pokemon that his actions still left the question of how to serve their banana splits. Grovyle, being the self-proclaimed genius that he was, brought over the family blender. He plugged it into the wall outlet and began dumping large quantities of the food items into the glass blender. Then Pikachu hit the 'mix' button.

The two wondered briefly at how long it might take to blend the stuff, and Grovyle placed his elbow onto the chocolate syrup bottle that had tipped over. A geyser of chocolate hit Pikachu dead center in the face. Grovyle rubbed the back of his head as the yellow mouse pokemon wiped the chocolate out of his eyes. Pikachu grabbed an ice cream scoop and started hurling random flavors at the grass pokemon. Despite Grovyle's speed, Pikachu managed to hit him with as many scoops as possible.

Grovyle grabbed the syrup again and started squirting it in the direction of the ice cream snowballs. He grabbed a couple of cherries and nuts and threw them as well. He heard Pikachu squeak as a cherry beaned the mouse pokemon in the eye. Grovyle could barely see with the cold dessert melting into his eyes.

Suddenly the long-forgotten blender made a Vesuvius-like eruption, belching its cold and creamy contents all over the combatants and half of the kitchen. Pikachu and Grovyle panicked and pulled the plug on the machine. Its motor stopped and it settled down.

The two pokemon exchanged glances before resuming the interrupted food war.

Also, avoid leaving more food than is necessary with your pokemon. It may not wind up in someone's stomach.

The sticky pokemon emerged with bits of nuts and sprinkles dusted all over them. They never even got a chance to eat anything. Grovyle was looking particularly morose when his foot struck a long forgotten box.

The two pokemon realized that this box contained a highly difficult one thousand piece jigsaw puzzle. It was actually more of a nine hundred and ninety seven piece puzzle, but that is a different story. The two pokemon opened it up and dumped the entire box all over the floor. Grovyle picked up one of the pieces. He put it in his mouth, chewed it deliberately and swallowed, then decided that it wasn't worth eating.

Don't leave puzzles lying around without explaining the point of the pieces. You will wind up with fewer pieces than you started.

There were no more chances of boredom-related mayhem because Ash and his mother stepped into the house. Mr. Mime held an umbrella over Mrs. Ketchum's head. They just stood stunned in the doorway, holding their grocery bags in their arms. Ash set the bags down and stepped forward.

"What the heck is going--" His foot slipped on a puddle of ice cream; he struggled to stay upright but managed to further slip on some syrup. He waved his arms wildly, falling into a bigger swamp of the liquid. Ash stood up but slipped again, falling into the jigsaw puzzle pieces before further slipping on some cherry remnants. Luckily he landed on a nice pile of two ply toilet paper.

Mr. Mime had a conniption fit. His mother just continued to stare into space.

Mrs. Ketchum was fine after some bed rest and some counseling from Professor Oak. The puzzle lost a few more pieces, becoming a nine hundred and two piece one. Ash had to pay for the extensive charges from the pay per view, and Grovyle and Pikachu were never left unattended ever again. But Ash still had much more in store for him...

The young trainer had just finished his morning's business when he reached over to grab the toilet paper. His eyes widened when all he managed to pull was the end of the paper from the cardboard tubing. "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

The most important lesson is that one should never leave their pokemon alone on a rainy day.

(End)


This turned out how I least expected. The next one might focus on Professor Oak, or another person.