Disclaimer; Twilight is not owned by us. (Thank God.) BUT… this epically stupid fanfic is. :D
A/N; Ok… we're not stupid. No seriously, we're not this epically stupid. Actually, this may shock you, but in real life we're pretty literate. BUT… this is a spoof… (AN AWESOME, RETARDED SPOOF XD) and the retarded "IM talk" words just needed to be in here. 'Kay? Thanks. And we were shocked that we had positive feedback. I thought we'd get like, "…. ur morons. -_-" by now or something along the lines of, "You seriously have no life." Lawls ensue. So thanks to all the positive feedback! Made our days. Seriously we were like, "OMG YES! XD" Ok done ranting! .
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Chapter 2: No Panties
I awoke 5 mintues L8r ready for school. My school clothes were already on, even tho I didn't shower or get dressed… or brush my teeth… or my hair… or put deodorant on… or anything, really. Lulz. I stepped outside the door… and tripped. "Ow" I screamed. And proceeded to cry my byootiful pinmpin pink eyes out.
After I was done crying and slitting my wrists (remember kids, it's down the road, not across the street), I stepped into my diamond studded Lear jet… and tripped. The engines went "FASHOOOOOOO" as I took off from my father-I mean "Charli's" private runway.
Next, I cruised to over 9000 feet and gazed at the beautiful raning clouds around me. I missed Phoenix, so I went "BAWWWW!" The radar showed that my new stupid highschool was near. So I tilted the nose toward down. Minutes later, I heard a tremendous crunch, it sounded leik 'splody.' Lol, that's a funny word. Splody. I'm silently rofling to myselfs. I snapped out of my offtopicness… and tripped… out of the jet. I went "BAWWWW FASHOOOO"
I turned around and noticed a halfdozen other people's stupid cars now a smoldering wreck. (smoldering… that's a big word for Bella, don't you think?) Anyway, all the students were pointing around and gaping at there stupid smushed cars. Smushed is also a funny word. But I digress… a lot. "Oops," said Bella… as she tripped… again.
"Holy crap!" said student 38, "ur Bella Sue Swan! The new student who trips a lot!!"
"Yeah, that's me, lol. Bella Phail Swan." I then broke out into tears as I randomly realized how hideous I was compared to everyone els. "BAWWWWW!" I said.
The kids said, "HOLY CRAP MY RETINAS! THE GLORIOUS BYOOTY!!" His head promptly 'sploded. Haha, there's that funny word again… 'splody. :D
I walked into the stupid school… and tripped… and then I got up and tripped again. As I made my way to Biology, I heard left and right the sounds of my fellow students heads going 'splody. Teehee. As I stepped through the stupid door, a stupid student greeted me.
"HAI THAR!" he blursted. "MAI NAYME IZ MYKE!"
I asked him, "hi hi. what's ur last name, lol."
He quietly told me hiz last name. "………………………….JACKSON!"
"Uh, ok, hi Mike," I said to him. He then took out a spoon from his pocket and proceeded (oh look, another big word) to say, "UR EYEZ R PRITTY, I CAN HAZ ONE?" I walked away after that. Suddenly, class was over. That was convenient! Also, all the kid's who didn't suffer from 'splodyhead syndrome were now mai best frannns. Funny, because I had no friends in Phoenix.
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A/N; End of chapter two! I know half you reading this… or maybe all.. are big Twilight fans since this is under the Twilight category and what would you be doing looking up Twilight fan fictions if you didn't like Twilight? But, you have to admit it's so awesome in a stupid, lame way. XD
We ourselves (obviously..) don't like Twilight as much… or at all. And we know people do.. (insert another Obviously), so we're giving a different version of Twilight. :D
Hope you liked. Lulz. Or not? Review please. x3 Hate or positive feedback is welcome. We're all prone to our opinions. :D
