Zexion and His Many Jobs

Disclaimer: I do not own Zexion or any of the other KH characters in this story.

Chapter 2: Smelly heaps

"Zexion!"

Ah oh. This can't be good. Xemnas doesn't normally call me like that. I guess I need to see what is up with him.

"Yes Superior? Is there something I can help you with?" I was trying to figure out what he needed but couldn't come up with anything.

"Hehehehe. Well, my little Zexion, since your last job wasn't a success I went out and got you a new one! Isn't that great!?!?!" Xemnas said this well clapping his hands together and almost hopping up and down. You don't see that everyday.

"Um well, I guess that is cool. Um what type of job is it exactly?" I really hope that is somewhere like a library or some other not so smelly place that damn flower shop was.

"Well…don't yell at me too much Zexi, but umm, I kind of got you a job as a garbage dump worker…" As Xemnas was saying this he was getting quieter and quieter to were in the end I could barely hear what he was saying, but I did catch it.

"YOU WHAT?!?!?!?!" Yep because that is a very mature response that only a very pissed of Zexi could give.

"Ahhhh! I am sorry Zexi, you do know that you are my one and only right????" Damn him and those oh so adorable puppy dog eyes, and that pout, I can't take it anymore!

"I am sorry Xemmy I didn't mean to upset you…not at all. I will take the job for you." What the hell am I saying, I don't want to work in a stupid garbage dump!

"Yay, I knew you couldn't resist the temptation of working at a garbage dump. I knew it was you biggest dream!" Once again Xemnas was happy go lucky.

Where did he ever get the idea that I wanted to work in a garbage dump though? Just then I smelt the distinct smell of sulfur, that could only mean one Organization XIII member….

"Vexen!!! Did you tell the Superior that my dream job was to work at the freaking garbage dump!?!?!" Oh yes because only the made scientist can smell like sulfur, I don't think he always smelt like that, but after spending almost 24/7 in a science lab, the smell just kind of sticks.

"Now, now Zexion, why would I ever want to do that?" Vexen asked me in a sickly sweet innocent tone. That didn't get me though, I saw right through it.

"Are you trying to get revenge for me trying to make a chemical reaction, then ending up blowing up your lab?" Yeah, I just wanted some bubbling or something and it ended up with broken glass and sticky substances all over.

"Maybe, I just hope you have fun doing your dream job." Vexen said then he walked away to the door to the basement to go back to his lab.

"Well, Zexion you need to get to your job now." Xemnas said pointing to the door, he can be so demanding sometimes. Sheesh.

I then proceeded to walk out of the castle to my impending doom.

xXxXxXxXx

Just being a few blocks away I could smell the nasty smell of garbage and crap that went to the dump. It was not a pretty smell. I already started getting a headache.

When I finally came to the dump I saw a tiny office of to the side of all of the piles of crap. I walked over to it and saw somebody I never thought would work here. Goofy.

"Oh, well hey there Zexion, what brings you to the city dump?" Goofy said in that annoying nasally voice he had.

"Um, I guess I work here now. Um, what are you doing here?"

"Oh well, I have always wanted to work at the city dump. Something about wanting to help clean up all that garbage, makes me feel good." Goofy said with a really stupid twinkle in his eye.

"Ok, well can you help me figure out where the hell I am supposed to go?" Please let it be somewhere besides right around the garbage, I think I will pass out with all the smells and crap around here.

"I think you are in the sorting room, you will help sort the recyclables from the rest of the garbage."

Oh great, I just can't wait. Yet again I can. I just starred at him like he was insane.

"Are you sure? Isn't there like a desk job that I could do?" I really hope I didn't have to put my hands or my nose near that garbage.

"Well no there isn't, only the garbage sorter is open right now."

Damn, I was really hoping. This is just my luck, no wonder people call me emo, even though I am not emo! My luck just makes it seem like I am emo, the bad luck makes me sad. All well, I don't nor ever plan on cutting myself or anything else for that matter.

"Just show me were to go so then I can get going." I wanted this day to be done so then I didn't have to smell the putrid smell of crap.

"Well first you have to change, then you go into that building over there, you will find somebody in there to help you learn what to do."

I went to the locker room, changed into a puke green jumper suit then headed over to the building that Goofy pointed to me.

The smell just about knocked me on my ass, I did almost puke. It smelled like rotten eggs, shit, and some other mystery smell. I also saw non other then Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs (A/N I don't own this either, Discovery Channel does)and guess what he was doing…my job.

"Now who would this be, you are interrupting my show." Yep Mike Rowe may be funny on TV but he is an ass in person.

"I am here for my job, I am new here, and you are actually doing my job right now I do believe. Can you actually stand the smell in here?" I was tying my hardest not to breathe, but obviously it wasn't working.

"Oh, well in that case we can learn together. I don't think it smells that bad. It seems like it is making your eyes water though, are you going to be ok?"

Ok so maybe he isn't as much of an ass as I first thought. I just shrugged my shoulders still trying not to breathe as much as I should be.

"I hope I am fine but it smells like ass, rotten eggs, and something else I just can't put a name to." Yeah this is going to suck, I already almost passed out again, every time somebody moves some garbage the smells get worse.

"Well, I will try to do most of the work since you seem to not be doing so well, you don't look lie you are cut out for this kind of work either."

Oh how right you are Mike Rowe, you probably wouldn't like to know that I truly attack people with a book, entrapping them in it and trying to kill them.

"Well let's just get this done so I don't have to deal with this horrid stench anymore…" I was really starting to get a migraine from the smell and becoming nauseous.

So then we started to sort all the crap from the recycling crap and I fell into the garbage making me almost pass out, then Mike fell into some goo that we couldn't seem to figure out what the hell it was.

I then found something that surprised the hell out of all of us, it was a keyblade, I guess that is where Kairi put Sora's keyblade, right in the garbage. Maybe that is what Sora was doing with the flowers, trying to get Kairi to tell him were she put it.

"Hmm, I think I will just put this in my pocket." I then put the keyblade into my pocket so then I can show Xemnas later, he will be so very happy.

"Did you just put that into your pocket?" Mike Rowe was very confused when I put the four foot long keyblade into a pocket.

"Um, you didn't see that at all, let's just get back to work." I then pulled a glass bottle out of a pile of nasty dirty diapers. "Oh gross, I don't think I can take this anymore, I think I am going to go throw up then go home."

"But you just got here?"

"Yeah and I can't stand it, I am going to go." I then I ran away screaming to find a place to burn my clothes.

I saw the incinerator and smiled, yay that would make Axel proud. I then rand to the locker room

Once I was changed I walked over to the incinerator and threw my jump suit thing into it and laughed when it burned. I then walked home to take a very long shower to get all the shit smell from my hair.

"Xemnas! Get your ass over here now!" Yes I was mad and I wanted this to end.

"Eek Zexi! Somebody help me he is going to hurt me! " Xemnas said like a four year old.

"Oh just shut up! You have got to stop making me go to stupid jobs like you keep doing!" I wanted this to end now.

"Ahem, I am the Superior here and I will have you go to any job I think you should go to, got that?" I knew I was in trouble once Xemnas's light saber things started turning on.

"Never mind, I am going to be up in my room now." I then turned and ran up the stairs and into my room, I am glad that is has its own bathroom, I was able to take a shower in peace.

I then picked up my book and read for the rest of the evening. Let's just hope Xemmy doesn't have anymore crazy jobs for me, I can still smell the garbage in my nose, blah gross.