Disclaimer: I don't own any of Tammy's original characters, Ideas, plots, or any of those things...
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"The... Lioness?"
The woman nodded, "Exciting ain't it? The King's Champion 'erself. She an' the Shang Wildcat, both 'em are up gettin' a good nights sleep up'n m' best room, 'for t'ey 'ave to go an' fight wit' the men folk in Pearlmout'..."
I was still staring at her with wide eyes, "Alanna of... The Lioness?" And The Wildcat? What sort of luck was this? What were the chances that we would pick the same inn? Tricksters be cursed. Haha. Sakuyo laughs. All of that wish wash. In short, damn you Kyprioth.
"Yes, are you daft girl? I've a'ready said i' twice." The woman grunted, standing up. " 'll go get you a bath started, shall I? You look grimy as a storm wing, w'at 'aveyou been roll'n in?" Her stubby nose wrinkled and she turned away, out to heat up water, I supposed.
The bath, let me tell you, was wonderful. Scrubbing off all the grime waited until the water was cold, because while it was still hot, I simply sat in the wash basin and revelled in how content I would be to simply endure the entire war sitting in a hot bath, and remaining oblivious to the world. Of course, once the heat had faded, I came to my senses, and scrubbed up quickly.
I kept as quiet as possible. The risk of waking Alanna(Who's snores I recognized even through a solid wall), was a constant caution. She wouldn't have been happy at having her sleep disturbed, and would have stomped over in her night clothes, and pounded on my door, and demanded I let her in, so she could talk to whomever it was that had woken her, and then I'd have to run, of course, jump out the window most likely, because I didn'twant her to catch me. I didn't want to be sent back to Corus, and back to safety.
I climbed into the bed, surprisingly free of bugs, and sighed contentedly. Despite the fear of leaks, and bedbugs, it was remarkably wonderful to be under blankets and on a mattress. It was even easy to forget that the blankets were itchy and the mattress was lumpy. I was so tired and sore that both facts were forgotten in the face of a good night's sleep.
I hardly even noticed when Nommy leaped onto the bed-making it creak considerably- and curled up on the foot of the bed, like an overgrown house cat.
All around me was dust and grass, dust and grass and a few pebbles. It reminded me of the Lion's Enclosure. It must be, I thought, the Carthaki Plains. I didn't know of any place in Tortall that looked like this- and although I'd never actually seen the plains, I had seen illustrations in books though. Books Thom had given me. He'd made me research different climates and what sort of animals were native to them. These were the plains of Carthak, I was sure. Home of the lions. Home of many of my friends back in the Royal Menagerie. The air tasted of dust and sun and sweat, and I could feel the sun beating down on the back of my neck. I wasn't sure exactly how I'd gotten here, why I was here. I didn't want to be here- I wanted to be in Pearlmouth- months away from here. Months and months away from here.
My stomach with roiling, and I really had no idea why. There was something wrong. something not right about this. Nothing felt like it should- I don't know how I knew what it should feel like- but I just knew this wasn't it. There should have been lifehere. Bugs, rodents, birds. Even a sign of life, like animal dung. There should have been trees, not alot of them, but a couple, but all I could see was flat plains, yellow swaying grass, and dust. The air didn't smell like anything but the scorched ground and dead plants. What was wrong here? Where was here? Was it the plains? I had thought it was- but it was so... dead. So dry and lifeless. Could this be them?
The air stirred, and a wind was mustered, blowing with back-breaking intensity. I fell to my knees, throwing my arms over my head and trying to shield myself from the sudden force of the wind. The grass lay flat on the ground, blown over easily- it provided me no cover or escape from the swirling and forceful air. the strands near me slapped my face and sent sharp stinging pain through me, and the dust and peddles were stirred. I was terrified- what was happening? This scorching hot, dead, and dry place wasn't the plains- this, surely, was somewhere the Black God sent those whom he weighed on his scales, and came up short. This was a place of punishment. But when had I died? And what had I done to deserve this place?
"Stand." A voice ordered. A powerful voice- angry and loud, and passionate. Inhuman. But not only inhuman- it was nothing like any animal voice I had heard before either. It came from all around, here and not here, everywhere, but with not definate source. "Stand your ground and be strong, Mortal- or risk angering me."
Stand? Was it insane? Stand? In this wind? "If I stand- I'll be knocked over." The words left my mouth, I know they did. I felt them in my throat, on the chords, I felt my voice. But they were lost in the wind. Dust coated my throat.
"Stand."
I stood. And was promptly blown over, onto my hands and knees, the rocks and hard packed cracked dirt scraped my hands and knees, more pain. Pain. I squeezed my eyes shut, holding in a shout.
"Stand."
I wet my lips, trying to work of the spit to talk. "I- can't."
The voice shouted now, and the wind rose, more stones and grass hit my face. "STAND. STAND AND STAY STANDING."
"I CAN'T!"
I was woken by my own voice, loud in my ears. Nomuula was standing beside my bed, looking at me earnestly. Her golden eyes bored into mine. 'You can't?'
I swallowed hard and shook my head, 'It- just a dream. I think- I think...' I rubbed my eyes, but my palms stung fiercely, I felt something wet on my face. I drew back my hands to look at them. The heels of my palm were scraped and bleeding.
'A god-dream. I've had them- real dreams. You're in two places at once- sleeping and not sleeping.'
I shook my head again.'N-No. I don't think so. There weren't any gods. I must've- I dunno. I must have hurt myself in my sleep, is all.'
Nommy snorted her obvious disbelief and turned her tail end on me, 'Wash your face, then. You've go blood on it.'
There was a small was basin in the corner, with a small square mirror hung in front of it. I got out of bed and hobbled over to it, my muscles screaming their protests adamantly. In the mirror I saw myself. But- not myself all at once. The girl staring back out at me looked small, and scared, and tired. I looked, I thought, like I had three years ago. I looked like the weak and worn little girl I had tried so hard to extinguish. To separate myself from. I splashed the watch on my face, rinsing the streaks of blood off.
I cringed, when my fingers found little cuts in the once-smooth skin of my face. From the rocks kicked up by the wind, and the sharp edge of the long dry grass, whipping me in the face. This was certainly something to think about.
I found, after washing my face off completely with the bar off soap on the rim of the basin, that I had several small bruises as well; they must have been from the larger, heavier stones thrown at me by the voice on the wind. I touched one of them gingerly, and winced, as the bruise spread, and blossomed, going from a tiny purpley spot on my skin to a painful, dark black and blue patch that covered the whole of my right cheek.
It throbbed painfully, and I quickly let my hand drop. What- How-
'Gods,' Said Nomuula bluntly, 'have a way of making themselves heard. What did you do to make your God angry?'
My throat was dry, almost like I was back on those plains. "I- I couldn't- I didn't stand…?" I spoke out loud, why, I didn't know, but I did.
Nomuula made a sort of shrugging movement, or as much of one as a lion can make, and began to pace. 'Strange. But I'm hungry, and I need to relieve myself. Can we go outside now?'
I nodded, 'Yeah- I suppose, one second…' I looked once more in the mirror, looking at the huge bruise that had blossomed on my cheek.
"No-no! We have to go now! We're already behind on time!"
I'd recognize that gruff feminine voice anywhere. I hurried over to the window, the basin, full of pink-tinted soap-saturated water, in my hands. Alanna was directly below me, arguing with the Wildcat, who's voice was coming from the stables. "Oh, fine. Relax, Alanna, Pearlmoth's not going to grow legs and walk away. I know you're worried, but Dom's squad is already there-"
"Exactly, which means my son is as well, in case you've forgotten." Was the Lioness' sharp and heated reply.
Thom. Thom on a battlefield. It certainly wasn't something I could see. But- I suppose we all have to do our part. He wouldn't be in any real danger though, would he? He'd be doing mage work, safe with his own little ring of soldiers around him. He'd be protecting all the Tortallans, and fortifying Pearlmouth. He was a black robed mag- I shouldn't be worrying about him.
But I was.
The basin slipped a bit in my hands, but I caught it before it actually fell. However, it's contents jumped dangerously, sloshing water onto the window sill and out of the window, splashing into the dirt on the ground below my room.
My heart stopped when Alanna's head turned up and her purple eyes met mine. Her jaw few open, her mouth hanging agape. "Kari-?" Before she could finish her exclamation, I threw the bucket of soapy water onto her head.
Even the fabled Lioness's reflexes were no match for it. She received a mouth and eyeful of the bubbly liquid that had her coughing, screaming, spluttering, and cursing. I ducked back into my room, and scooped up my satchel, and burst out of the room, and down the stairs, Nomuula at my heels, proclaiming her amusement in a cheery yipping bark. I shifted into a doe as soon as I was out of the inn, wasting no time, and Nomy scooped up my sack in her mouth.
I could hear Alanna's coughing and cursing and yelling, and The Wildcat trying to understand what she was saying echoing in my head the rest of the day.
The amount of guilt my act of escape caused me was tremendous. Because now Alanna would tell Raoul and the others when she arrived. And they would be worried. No matter what they might think, I didn't want to worry anyone. I just- wanted to be a part of my home. I wanted to feel like I deserved to be here, that I deserved to be the daughter of Raoul and Buri.
My stomach did an unpleasant summersault when I considered that maybe, after this little escapade, they might not want me. If they decided that- Maybe they wouldn't want to finalize the adoption. Maybe they wouldn't want me to be their daughter anymore. They might hate me-
Gods- what about Dom? He'd directly told me I had to stay. I'd deliberately disobeyed him, gone against his orders. Was he going to be mad? Would Tom be mad? Well- of course Thom would be mad. Thom got mad about everything.
I feared reprimand from Raoul and Buri worst. Would they be disappointed in me? Horse Lords, I hoped not. I couldn't stand them being disappointed in me. Angry I would hate, but I could handle it. If they felt betrayed, or thought I was being an immature fool… If they didn't want me… Those four words replaced Alanna's yells and curses. 'They don't want me. They don't want me. They don't want me.' It made my doe form quiver with fear. I wanted to go home. Back to Corus. They wouldn't want me anymore. They'd hate me. They wouldn't be able to look at me anymore.
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"She's WHAT?"
Thayet flinched at the crudeness of her ex-bodyguard's yell. "Buri- she wasn't in her bed- And Nomuula is missing in the enclosure- We're not sure about anything- we only think she's gone-"
The Commander clutched her hair in fistfuls at the sides of her hair, "Of course she's gone, Thayet! What else did you expect?! Someone should have anticipated this- Onua knows how she is about being told what to do! Argh! I have to go after her! I have to go now! Before she gets too far!" Her eyes were closed and there were deep lines of worry in her forehead.
Thayet shook her head, "You can't do that. We need you here. Ready. You can't go barging around the country looking for one little girl, when we have all of Tortall to think about…" Her voice was apologetic, understanding, but firm.
"She's my daughter, Thayet, not just 'one little girl'! What would you do if it was of yours?! You have six children, Thayet, I have one!
"Excuse me for saying so, Buri, but I believe that the safety of the royal children…"
Buri's eyes narrowed, "She's a Wild Mage, you don't think she'd be valuable to them?" She hissed, low, "And do you realize how important she is to us- Raoul and I-? Neither of us will be able to focus unless she's safe! And Thom- how do you gather he'll function?"
The queen's reply was quiet, "Buri- I understand- I know what it's like to have a daughter taken away from you, but she's capable. And for Mirthos' sake, she's got a lion with her. And as you've already stated, she's got her magic. I highly doubt you really have to worry about her." Her pale hands fell upon her friend's shoulders. "Please. We need you to be rational, and think. You need to stay here for a bit longer- we'll set up a search. But I somehow doubt that she'll come home by her own will- and there's little chance of anyone bringing her by force."
The shorter woman softened, and ran her fingers through her hair, appearing deep in thought. "No-no, you're right… She wouldn't come… Horse Lords, how could she do this? The girl must know how much stress she's causing…"
Thayet's grin was wicked, her pretty face slightly marred by the obstruction of her white teeth. "Oh- I'm sure she doesn't mean it. She can hardly help but cause trouble with the rowdy crowd she goes about with…"
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'Why don't you change back?'
'I- can't, I don't…' I stopped, because it was pointless to try and explain modesty to an animal. She wouldn't understand. And I didn't really see the point myself. There was no one out here. Surrounded by trees, no where near the commonly trodden trail. But… It just felt… odd. My human emotions and values over coming common sense, as so often they did in my human friends.
Animals didn't understand the purpose of clothes- they didn't understand embarrassment, or modesty, or anything like that. It wasn't in their nature to. Thom had always said though, not to stay in animal form too long. Not to get too comfortable. He was always scared that I'd be stuck. Or that one day, I'd simply choose not to change back. All the precautions he'd drilled into my head were nagging at me, and making me nervous beyond belief.
The question was, walk around bare as the day I was born, or risk loosing my humanity?
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Quick update, no? I'm going to TRY and do one every week. Try. No promises. Exams this week. -facedesk- Horrid, horrid. I'm loosing sleep over it all, it's really stressful. But, I'll deal. So- There we go. Can anyone guess what's going on with the dream? And I've been thinking about changing the title, now that I've got my ideas and such straightened out, and I know the actual plot. Problem is, it gives away alot... Hmmm... I SUPPOSE I should, since it's better. Tell me what you guys think, hm? Shall I change it to 'In the Dreamer's Wake'?
Please review and such, because I do so adore getting them.
Oodles and noodles,
Karissa M.
