Every time Edward's hand touched my
shoulder I grew more and more nervous, every time his fingers grazed
my cheek, I fell harder. We both wanted more, but focused on anything
other than that reality. I kept my eyes focused on the television
screen, but my body moved towards his. I leaned into him, and what
started out as simply taking a sip of a drink turned into a nervous
habit, something to distract myself from how intense the night had
become. He was so obvious in his desires, the way his breaths were
spaced apart, his pulse increasing speed and then slowing down after
he had mentally scolded himself. I was the picture of cool, unmoved
confidence.
That was, until he moved in for my hand.
The
moment his thumb touched my hand, without thinking, my hand
responded. My fingers intertwined with his, my thumb rubbing back
gently. It was the moment, I think, where things crossed the
line for me. Where the flame was burning and the thoughts of our
flirtation went from fun and innocent to this could really be
something. I was a twenty-something, in love with my career, and not
looking for The One. I didn't need male validation. I enjoyed
flirting. But this, sitting on that couch with him, my hand in his
hand, was more than I was used to.
I sighed deeply, resting my
head against his, and turned my focus from our hands (still holding)
to the television. Commercials. I never cared for them. I was a
channel surfer - I called it my Radio ADD - I could never stay on one
station, I always needed to see if something better was playing
elsewhere. Same went for commercials. Amidst the advertisements for
Macy's One Day Sale, and a new mascara from L'Oreal, came a
compilation CD commercial. He automatically sang with the television,
quietly, switching along with each song. Singing into my ear. His
voice so deep, almost deeper and more raw at that low of a decibel. I
smiled to myself and he wrapped me in his arms tightly, and I grabbed
onto his bicep and squeezed. He kissed my temple and I snuggled
deeper into his chest.
He let out a small whimper, and took a
deep breath. I said nothing, but thought yes, oh god. I want you too.
My body ached for him... and I did everything in my power to
control that. Things were about to get complicated.
