The Hunt for the Perfect Man: Chapter 8 - Sango

This is still a tag-team performance brought to you by CharmedReality and BelleDayNight.

Disclaimer: We didn't create the characters. We just put them in compromising situations for our amusement.

-ooo-oooooo-ooo-

It was half past insane in the morning and the coffee drinkers were already on their third cups of the day. They were a very reliable bunch. They were always waiting outside for the diner to open, they were always quick to set their empties to the far edge of the table lest they be forgotten for even an instant, and they never tipped more than fifty cents no matter how many refills they got. Their conversations consisted mostly of grunts and complaints about the weather even on clear, sunny days. With all the caffeine one might have thought they would be a bit more enthusiastic.

It was all in a day's work though. That's why part-time waitress and full-time college student, Kagome got paid the big bucks. Well, maybe not the big bucks, but a pocket full of change was heavy. That was something anyway.

Although that pocket might be a little lighter by the end of today's morning shift considering she just refilled one of the regular's coffee with the light maple syrup instead of the decaf. Accidents happen, but it was becoming a trend. She had already left her notepad on the griddle earlier, which meant she had to take everyone's orders again and treated everyone to a pyrotechnic show. The old man in the corner booth kept grabbing at his heart. He was just trying to tease her. Probably.

The problem with her performance could all be traced back to one little sentence spoken earlier in the week.

"And clearly my estranged, half-brother has feelings for you."

Sesshoumaru had certainly said a mouth full with that. What were the odds that she would end up on a date with her neighbor's half-brother? And how was it that those two were even related? Sesshoumaru seemed like the kind of man who could buy and sell entire islands with a quick text message and Inuyasha…well, he was Inuyasha.

He was the guy who borrowed milk when he wasn't really out of his. He was the guy who would shout at his video games and even threaten them when he wasn't winning. He was the guy who…had feelings for her?

"Miss? Miss? Excuuuuuuse me, miss?!"

"Hmm?" she was pulled out of her reverie by the customer and she could almost feel the tips getting lighter. "Oh, yes, I'm so sorry, what can I do for you sir?"

"I asked for wheat toast and you gave me a cinnamon roll," the man wearing a bit too much plaid for someone who was probably not a lumberjack said with barely restrained annoyance.

"Oh, well, I guess my sweet tooth is just showing through," she tried to joke. If he was amused, he hid it well. "I'll be right back with the toast."

As if the ending of her date with Sesshoumaru wasn't enough to have on her mind, there was also her next date to consider.

Kagome had brought in a change of clothes for the ending of her shift, so that she could rendezvous with Mr. Sango for lunch somewhere other than that particular diner of course. In light of her last few adventures, an afternoon date seemed like a good way to avoid any Inuyasha-shaped interlopers.

All she needed to do was get through the next hour and a half and then wait for her knight to ride up on his blue Yamaha FZ6.

-ooo-oooooo-ooo-

Fifteen dollars and twelve cents later Kagome left the diner all-too eagerly. With every step her purse jingled. If she was smart, she'd have asked the manager to exchange the dimes, nickels, and quarters for dollars—but she was better than smart—she was resourceful! Perhaps she'd suggest hitting the arcades with Mr. Sango if things went well.

There were no big tests to study for this week and only one paper, which was practically finished regarding the medical condition known as transgender. It was a confusing topic, but fascinating given all the various schools of thought on the mechanism behind the disorder. Was it too much or too little testosterone circulating in the mother's womb at the fetus' stage of development where one of the gonads forms into the sex organs and the other disappears? But then, if that were the case, wouldn't that make such people hermaphrodites?

She groaned aloud and then pushed the topic to the back of her mind. There was no time for such ponderings. And frankly, she had no desire to work in the embryologic, psychiatric, or genetic fields. She just reached the designated meeting spot—a bench under a tree in a park only a few blocks from her work.

Kagome plopped herself onto the bench and waited. And waited. And waited some more.

She was just starting to become impatient when the whine of a motorcycle disturbed the quiet. The figure was hunched over the crotch-rocket and going at an incredible speed as if trying to make up for the fact he was ten minutes late by closing the last distance at the speed of light!

The rider shut down the engine and stared at Kagome for one-too-many heartbeats before removing his black helmet and releasing a long, black ponytail that hung down to…"his" shapely hips.

"You're Kagome?"

"Are you Sango?"

They both nodded slowly.

Kagome didn't want to seem rude, but, how did Mr. Sango become a Ms.? Should she say anything? Did this Sango know she was a girl? For now she'd just smile and nod, it usually worked in the past. Hopefully, it would work now.

"Shall we head off for lunch then?" Kagome asked brightly.

-ooo-oooooo-ooo-

"This is too good," Miroku said snickering while looking through binoculars at the scene. He elbowed Inuyasha. "You are a genius. Now, when do you enter the scene and shag them simultaneously? Or—since you're so shy—I'll be happy to play that role for you."

Inuyasha yanked the binoculars away from Miroku and then knocked him upside the head with them. "Shut it, you pervert."

"Why you calling me the pervert?" Miroku rubbed his fingers over the bruise forming on his skull. "You could give me a concussion with that non-sense. See if I help you plot in your evil ways." He grinned. "Seriously. Did you see that chick's t-shirt? It has a pair of handcuffs on the front and the back says, 'Mine are legal, not just for fun.' Seriously! I need her number when Kagome's done."

Inuyasha ignored him and decided to use the day's experience to remind himself why he and Miroku worked better communicating online and not in person.

-ooo-oooooo-ooo-

Was there a question on one of those forms that she hadn't filled out correctly? She did remember writing something about being open to new experiences. This wasn't exactly what she had in mind.

"So, do you do this kind of thing often?" Began the other woman after yet another awkward silence.

"Oh, no, never. I mean, oh, the dating? Of course you do. What else would you mean?" She punctuated each sentence with nervous laughter. "Well, yes, there have been others—loooots of others. I mean, not that many! I'm not a freak or anything. Not that dating lot of people or different kinds of people makes you a freak, and wow, doesn't cherry pie sound good?" She was rambling more on this date than she had with Sesshoumaru.

Sango smiled at her unexpected date's monologue. "I think I might start with soup or a sandwich instead. We have physicals coming up at the police station, and I want to be in peak condition. It's bad enough I look like I'm 16. I need to outshine everyone if I don't want to be treated like I'm that young too."

"Oh no, you don't look like you're 16, not with a body like that," she said gesturing toward the other woman before quickly withdrawing her hand. "I didn't mean that you had a nice body!" She corrected quickly, before realizing that sounded even worse. "I mean, you do. You have an amazing body. I'd love to have your body!"

Kagome snapped her mouth shut. How was it possible that each statement was coming out worse than the last? And it was awful how she was leading on this poor woman who has probably been trying to connect with another like-minded woman and had to result to a dating service only to be set up with someone who wasn't interested. It just wasn't fair!

A warm blush took over Sango's cheeks as she listened to the odd and occasionally off-putting compliments. "Kagome, I think there is something I should be clear about." Taking a deep breath, the motorcycle-riding woman, charged forward. "I'm afraid you aren't exactly who I was expecting today."

"I'm not? …Is it the hips?"

"No, you have nice hips. I just prefer hips on men."

"You like men with big hips?"

"No, I mean, I like men."

"Oh," she replied mildly before realization set in. "OH! So do I! That's great. I was so afraid I was letting you down." Kagome laughed with amusement.

"That's such a relief. I thought the same thing!" Sango rubbed her chin with a pensive expression. "But that doesn't answer the question of how this happened. Did you put an option of wanting to make friends?"

Kagome scratched her head and tried to think back to when she first filled out the million-question survey when she joined the dating service. "I don't remember there being such an option. Did you?"

"No. But you know what? You're better than the losers I've been set up with so far. There was this one man whose breath was so bad you'd think it was some sort of noxious poison. And, oh, was he short!"

Kagome laughed—a much more at ease laugh than her nervous chuckles earlier—and tried to control what turned into a giggling fit when Sango gave her an annoyed look. But soon enough the stern officer joined in the laughter. Kagome wiped away a tear and tried to speak. "I had this one date that was amazing! The man was a knight in shining armor…and then his fiancée showed up."

"No!"

"Yes! Another date, he was a doctor, and this woman went into labor. After she covered me in her birthing fluid and blood he left with her on the way to the hospital stranding me at the theatre. My neighbor had to come and get me."

"Did you have any good dates? Or does that explain why you were trying again here?"

"The most fun date ended up being more interested in men than me. There was another man that seemed promising but he ended up being my neighbor's old college buddy and Inuyasha tagged along on our date and sabotaged it."

"Wait. Your neighbor?"

"Yeah, he's a total mooch. Always drinking my milk but at least he's there to pick up my UPS packages when I'm not home. But anyways, the best date was last week—he was a prince, literally! But, at the end it turned out he's actually related to my neighbor and then he just left after making the revelation and I've not heard since. So when I checked my email and it said I had another match—well, here I am."

"I see. It sounds like your neighbor is pretty involved in your life."

"He works at home and is always bored out of his mind. He used to volunteer teach at the local dojo but he's seemed to have slacked off on that so he can try to live vicariously through me which is pretty sad considering I'm just a medical student working part-time at a diner who goes on a lot of bad dates."

The waitress arrived with their meal. Sango accepted her dry ham and cheese sandwich while Kagome grinned widely at her chicken alfredo pasta dish.

Kagome twirled her noodles around her fork and lifted it before Sango's nose. "You sure you don't want some of these yummy carbohydrates?"

Sango wrinkled her nose. "Do you know how many miles I'd have to run to burn off the calories?"

"Seven?"

Sango smiled back kindly. "Well, not quite that many."

"Then it's a bargain!" She moved the temptation a little closer to the other girl who finally moved forward, boldly taking it into her mouth despite getting a few white drips of sauce on her chin.

-ooo-oooooo-ooo-

"So this is what love feels like," said a wistful Miroku as he watched the all-female couple from his hidden vantage point.

"No, that's what an erection feels like," came the response from his far less amused companion.

"Hush. Don't sully this beautiful, beautiful thing we are witnessing with your crass humor. Why don't you do something useful and get online to find out who designed this restaurant with such large, clear windows so I can send them a basket of thank you muffins."

"You should be sending me a basket of thank you muffins for having to put up with you. And you've been hogging the binoculars all night!" Inuyasha grabbed for them.

"I'm the one doing you the favor in case you've forgotten." He tried to keep his grip, but lamentably Inuyasha jerked them away in the end, which led to some understandable pouting.

The hacker was paying no attention to his co-worker as he adjusted the special zoom functions to hone in on Kagome. She was laughing at something Sango had said. The equipment was amazing. He could see details like the fine print on the menus at the next table. But he wasn't interested in the night's special. He kept his eyes trained on the dark haired girl. And he noticed that her nose had this funny way of crinkling up when she smiled like that.

"Come ooooon, Inuyasha! You're turn is over. Give them back!" Miroku tried to grab them back, but Inuyasha's elbow blocked him again and again. "FINE! If you won't give me the binoculars, then I'll just have to get closer."

"Whatever," he replied dismissively, still keeping watch. He ignored the other man as he walked away. In fact, he paid no attention at all until he reappeared in his line of sight, sliding into the booth next to Kagome and across from Sango.

-ooo-oooooo-ooo-

"It must be my lucky night to run into two such beautiful ladies. Kagome, it's been too long. Thank you so much for letting me join you both."

"Well, I didn't actually…"

Before Kagome could finish her sentence, Miroku reached out to scoop up the other woman's hand. "So, enough about me, tell me more about you."

"300, 40, 2," Sango replied smoothly.

"Well, I know those aren't your measurements, so what are we talking about?"

"I can bench press 300 pounds. I carry a .40 calibur gun. And it would only take me 2 seconds to break your hand if you don't move it."

Miroku laughed good-naturedly, tactfully removing his hand from danger. "Beautiful, strong, and funny. That's a deadly combination."

"I'm not that funny."

Kagome drank deeply of her diet coke as the other two quipped back and forth.

Sango gave Kagome a questioning look. "Who is this joker?"

"The date who ended up being my neighbor's old college buddy—Miroku." Kagome turned to the man sitting beside her. "What are you doing here?"

Miroku smiled disarmingly. "Just passing through, ladies. This joyous happenstance is a complete coincidence."

A throat cleared from behind them and the three turned to see Inuyasha standing with his arms crossed and a disapproving glare directed at Miroku before smiling quickly at Kagome and giving Sango a brief glance before focusing on Kagome. "Is this guy stalking you, Kagome?"

Kagome narrowed her eyes in suspicion. How was it that both Inuyasha and Miroku happened to be in the area? Was she being stalked? "No, Miroku just happened to be in the neighborhood. What are you doing here?"

Sango gave Inuyasha an appraising look and a slow smile spread across her lips. "Ah, you must be Inuyasha. Kagome's real stalker."

"I'm not a stalker," Inuyasha growled sitting beside her at the table.

The waitress came back. "Do you gentlemen want anything?"

"No, they're leaving," Sango said.

"What? Leaving? I'm so hungry!" Miroku turned to the waitress with imploring eyes. "Ma'am, may I have a glass of sweet tea, and then a club sandwich with extra bacon?"

"You can't order!" Inuyasha hissed.

"I just did."

"And you, sir?" the waitress asked Inuyasha.

He looked to Kagome.

"You might as well eat something. I'm pretty sure my cabinets are empty at home, and I know you're too lazy to shop for anything other than ramen noodles," she said taking a bite of her pasta.

"Could I have some of that pasta? It looks very good." Miroku smiled innocently at Kagome.

"Sure, I guess." Kagome started to twirl pasta on her fork when Inuyasha kicked Miroku's shin hard under the table. She lifted the fork up full of pasta and noticed Miroku's face had turned an unnatural shade of red. "You still want it?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm good. Thanks though."

"I've got to head to the gym and do some more training. I'll call you later, Kagome, okay?" Sango asked sliding out of the booth. "Unless you want to join me at the gym?"

Inuyasha started to laugh. "Kagome at the gym? Hah!"

Kagome put down her fork. "What do you mean by that? I go to the gym sometimes."

Inuyasha continued to laugh. "Yeah, to sign up for that kickboxing class that you never attended. And there was that yoga class where you went to one session. And let's not even start with the martial arts course you were all hyped on taking and then quit half-way through the first class."

"I sprained my ankle!"

"Come on, Kagome. Why don't you come with me to my kickboxing class then?" Sango invited. "You can use my helmet and I'll drive us over on my bike. I've an extra set of workout clothes you can borrow."

"I think I will." Kagome stood as well. "I've lost my appetite. Enjoy your lunch, boys."

Sango's soft-spoken statement was loud enough for both Inuyasha and Miroku to hear upon their exit. "He sure is one nosey neighbor. If you want I can help you get a restraining order. He fits the profile of a stalker."

Inuyasha kicked Miroku in the leg again. "Look what you did!"

"Me? You were the one listing all Kagome's failures in the athletic world. Even I know not to embarrass a girl about her previous short-fallings. And you do seem to have the qualities of a stalker."

"Oh shut up."

TBC