Disclaimer: I do not own Legion of Super-Heroes. Bombshell created by Geoff Johns and Tony Daniels. This story may sound strange, almost like the Santa Clause, a little. Bombshell is comics-only Titan. Not sure I did the characterization right though. And don't worry, next chapter it's back to the guys you're all familiar with. Some dialogue borrowed from Tales of the Legion of Super-Heroes. Hoped this turned out okay.

Element Lad: Jan Arrah of Trom. Transmutative abilities.

Shvaughn Erin: Officer with Science Police. Girlfriend of Element Lad.


Titans Tower, California. It was warm this time of year, but it was still Christmas. The Tower had been decked out with all manner of holiday decorations, and inside the main lounge area, there was a girl in a deep violet tank top with a red Captain Atom symbol, jeans, boots, dog tags around her neck, gloves, and chrome skin, chrome eyes, and short chrome hair.

"Hey squirts. The name's Amy Allen. Airman Allen. Bombshell."

Bombshell started to walk through the lounge,

"Since most of you never heard 'a me, I guess a little background's in order. Rather than facing jail, I got recruited into a military OPsproject Project Quantum, and they grafted me withthe same super-metal that bonded with CaptainAtom, turnin' me into the nuclear-powerhouse Bombshell. I did a stint with the Teen Titans, and quit, but that was mostly because I got hired to. The guy paid me to find something the Titans had stashed here. The short version: there was a big fight, they got it back, I got sent to jail, and then the jerks I were working for slit my throat. Lucky for me that this shell of mine had healing properties. After the military was planning on getting my body back from Belle Reve, I got back up and about. And I learned I could this."

Bombshell doesn't give it a thought, and she reverts to normal Amy Allen. Then back to Bombshell.

"Coolhuh? So, after this whole other thing withthe Titans, I got sent to stay with them since someone'sbeen out to get me, the same guys who tried to take my body. 'Course, I'm only staying with these losers 'cuzof my dad. But, I'm willing to do good. And, it gives me time to look back on the old days. I kinda realize I acted like a real loudmouth, still do. And I mouthed off to all the wrong people. And look how well that paid off."

She stopped to clear her throat and get back on track. But before she did, Amy put a Captain Atom symbol decoration on the big tree in the lounge.

"So, the writers told me I gotta talk about some guy named Morgna. I actually knew a Morgna. Deborah. Called herself Sun Girl. She was part of Titans East, the freaks who tried to cut me up. But I'm all better now. This story's 'bout her brother, cousin, relative, whatever, from a world far displaced from mine. Name's Dirk Morgna, Sunboy. And his two friends Jan and Shvaughn. Pfft. What kinda guy's named Jan? Anyway, ol' Dirk's 'bout to learn a lesson about shootin' your mouth off to the wrong person. 'Specially at Christmastime. The title may be stupid, but I'm sure the plot works. It's a tale of wintertime satisfaction from one dude who is seriously overworked. It's all about…

05. Jack Frost's Revenge

It was snowing very hard that day at the New Metropolis spaceport. Flights off-planet were booked solid, and people were crowded all over waiting for their ships off planet for their holiday vacations. Three such people were the Legionnaires Dirk Morgna of Earth, a.k.a Sun Boy, Jan Arrah of Trom, a.k.a. Element Lad, and Jan's girlfriend, Science Police officer Shvaughn Erin. You could probably tell the three if you picked them out in a crowd. Shvaughnhad shoulder length red hair and green eyes. Jan had short blonde hair, brown eyes, and a short goatee that started at the bottom of his lip and ended at his chin (Was that how you described it?). Dirk had a mane of long blondehair, and black eyes with red pupils. At the moment, Jan and Shvaughn were trying to find out about their ship to the pleasure planet Restoria, while Dirk grumbled to himself about how long it was taking them to get out of there. He was sitting in one of the seats near the docking bay, complaining to himself and thinking out loud.

"Stupid snow. How long is it gonna be before I'm off this dreary rock?"

"Penny for your thoughts mister?"

Dirk almost jumped out of his skin when that person spoke to him. He turned his head, and saw a little kid with short black hair and unusual blue eyes.

"What do you want kid?" "My name's Johnny." The kid told him. "Why are you in such a bad mood, Mr. Morgna?" Dirk wasn't surprised the kid knew his name. He was a Legionnaire, and that meant fame. It also meant dozens upon dozens of swooning girls waiting at his beck and call. 'I'm waiting for my flight out of here." Dirk said. "What's wrong? You're not looking forward to a white Christmas?" "White Christmas? Ha! The only color I want my Christmas to be is red hot." "I guess you don't like winter then." "Like winter? Kid, I absolutely hate winter." "Why?" "Why? I'll tell you why." Johnny's smile started to fade as Dirk listed his reasons. "I hate the snow, I hate the cold, I hate the dark and windy nights, I hate the ugly grey color the sky turns and then that ugly feeling you get when the sun causes everything to turn to mush. I hate having to use my fire powers as the Legion's personal snow blower in case any of it is blocking HQ. I hate getting the flu and having to eat chicken soup, and the way your skin cracks and blisters from the cold, or when your nose starts to drip and it's like that for an hour no matter what you do."

"There must be one god thing you like about winter." Johnny asked. "The only good thing about winter is Christmas, and when they let you stay home from school because of the snow, but then your parents make you shovel everything instead of letting you stay inside and be warm. And all those stupid stories they tell you about it like about the bitchy Snow Queen and that annoying Jack Frost. That's why I hate winter."

"You don't like Jack Frost?" "Kid, I hate to burst your balloon, but Jack Frost ain't real. Wait, why am I telling you this?" Dirk asked. Johnny then slowly smiled a cold and unnerving smile Dirk had only seen once before. In that old movie The Omen. "Have a merry Christmas Dirk. You earned it." Johnny said, before he honked Dirk on the nose.

"Hey!" Dirk cried. He heard the kid laugh and run off.

"You've got to work on your people skills, Dirk."

He looked up, and there were Jan and Shvaughn with their bags.

"Little-Hey, where'd he go?" Dirk looked around. Johnny disappeared.

"Beats me. Let's go, the ship's leaving soon." Jan informed them. Rubbing his nose, Dirk set off with the other two for their flight. As the ship blasted off into space, Johnny looked up from the window.

"Oh yes, a red hot Christmas for you Dirk. You most certainly earned it."

"Beautiful."

"What Dirk?"

"Shvaughn."

The planet Restoria, a tropical paradise every day of the year, except monsoon season. People from all over the galaxy vacationed at the five-star hotels they built on it. Business was booming at the holidays. The hotels were decked out in tropical Christmas gear, and all the other holidays celebrated. Palm trees and alien plants with Christmas lights, alien Santas asking for money for charity, and Christmas trees in the lobby.

At the pool of the Jordan Memorial Hotel, Shvaughnwas tanning by the pool while Dirk and Jan were cooling off inside it. Shvaughnwas wearing a futuristic equivalent of a bikini, which was two pieces of cloth designed like green leaves covering only enough of her breasts, and a black thong. Jan was wearing a black and white pair of bathing shorts with his Element Lad symbol, while Dirk was wearing a black speedo with a flame design to show off his muscles and other... assets.

"Yeah she is." Jan agreed. She waved to the two, and they waved back, when they saw some guy try to put the moves on her, and she flipped him on his back for saying something crude.

"How'd you do it Jan? How'd you hook a girl like her?" Dirk asked. Jan simply laughed. "Shvaughn's a nice girl, and according to her I'm a nice guy. We like the same things and I listen to what she says."

"Uh huh. What's the catch?" Dirk asked. Someone dived in the pool. "No catch. Dirk, the reason you can't keep a girlfriend is because you treat women like you treat hovercars." "With pride?" "Like toys. Talk to girls like a person, and Shvaughn'll give the time of day." I see." He started to think about it/

"But you do realize that if you ever lay a hand on her, I'll transmute your face onto your ass. And vice versa." Jan warned. "Yeah, yeah. Come on Jan, you know I'd never get it on with someone else's girl."

The two started swimming around the pool instead of staying in the same place, when Dirk noticed something odd. "Hey, why is the water so warm?" Jan gave Dirk a funny look. "A peed-in-the-pool joke, Dirk? Really?"

"No I'm serious."

"Whatever. I'm gonna try out the diving board. Be sure to put your tongue back in your mouth."

"Ha ha."

Later, at dinner.

"...so after taking out the last Khund warrior, I went back and rescued my teammates." Dirk was thrilling a bunch of over-eager, teenaged bar bimbos with tales of his exploits while Jan and Shvaughn were enjoying their appetizers.

"Ooooh!! Weren't you scared?" A blonde Winathian and her twin sister said at the same time. "Scared? That word just doesn't exist in my dictionary! I'm a Legionnaire!" The girls swooned. At the table Jan just shook his head and Shvaughn rolled her eyes.

"So you really know Timber Wolf? Is he really as mean as they say he is?" A red-headed Rannian asked. "Mean? Ha! The guy's about as scary as a lost lil' puppy. Really, he's an old softy." "I'm glad Brin's not here or he'd tear Dirk a new one." Jan muttered. "But Phantom Girl would be loving every second of it." Shvaughn informed him as she bit into a roll. "And what about Superman X? And Cosmic Boy?" The same Rannian asked. "Ladies, why all this talk about other guys? I'm here."

"Yeah, and you're freezing!" Dirk was puzzled. Cold? He felt warm. Warming then he did before. But then he flashed her a smile. "Y'know what they say babe. Cold hands, warm heart." She swooned.

"You know what else they say? Gag me with a spoon." Shvaughn made a fake puking noise listening to Dirk. "Shvaughn be nice." Jan reprimanded her. "You know I'm kidding. Still, we better hope Dirk's ego doesn't get any bigger because of his darling fans, or this could be a looong vacation."

Dirk finally took his seat as the fangirls went their separate ways.

"Bye Dirk!"

"Bye Sun Boy!"

He waved back at them, and flashed them a 24-karat smile. "They love me." "At least someone does." Shvaughn joked. "Hurry up Dirk, before the food gets cold." Jan informed him. Dirk picked up a spoon and started to eat some of the soup, but the minute he did...

"Gah! Water! Water!"

Jan and Shvaughn were alarmed by their friend's reaction. Dirk clucthed his throat after he threw the spoon clear from the table. The other patrons of the hotel restaurant turned to what the commotion was. A few seconds later, as Dirk began desperately downing a glass of water, the host went to see what wsgoing on. "What is it?" he asked. Dirk scowled at him. "Are you trying to kill me?! This is boiling hot!" Jan gavea puzzled look, before taking a spoonful of Dirk's soup, blowing on it, and carefully placing it in his mouth. The minuted he did, his confusion tripled. "Dirk, this is lukewarm at best. It's not even spicy." Dirk just gaped.

"I don't believe it. Sun Boy complaining about the heat!" One of the other people joked, gaining some laughs.

"Yeah, yeah. I've just lost my appetite. I'll see you guys later." "Dirk, you sure you're alright?" Shvaughn asked as he left. "I'll see you guys in the morning." He waved and left. The others went back to having dinner and the conversation stream was no longer dammed. "You want to check on him?" Jan asked. Shvaughnthought about it, but she did know Dirk's ego and how it often made him complain about the simplest problem. "I think he'll be fine. He was probably just overreacting. Besides…"

Shvaughn leaned in and whispered into Jan's ear, "It gives me us a chance to be alone.". He smirked and said, "Careful Miss Erin, or Santa will put you on the naughty list." He kissed her on the cheek and she laughed. "Why Mister Arrah, Santa can go stuff his stocking for all I care."

Back in his room, Dirk had been tossing and turning under the covers for practically the entire night. Fed up, he tossed the blankets off and cranked up the AC to the farthest notch on the dial. Pleased, he plopped back onto the bed and snoozed back into slumberland. The next morning, the alarm clock went off and began playing Winter Wonderland, the cover by Annie Lenox. Dirk groaned, rolled over, and slammed his hand on the clock, breaking it.

"Whoops."

He straightened up and got off the bed, but felt funny. His joints felt stiff, he noticed, as he wiped the sand from his eyes. He walked into the bathroom, and turned on the lights. His eyes became wide with shock.

"What the-?!"

He gaped at the mirror. Unsure of it for a moment, he slowly walked up to it, and placed a quivering hand on the glass. He was horrified when the reflection did the same thing.

"Guys? Guys!" He yelled. In the other room, Jan sat up out of bed, awoken by his friend's yelling. He scratched his head, got up, and walked into Dirk's room, half-asleep.

"Hold on, I-"

He stopped when he saw Dirk, and sleepiness was replaced with confusion.

"Bouncy? What are you doing here?"

For a few seconds, Jan had assumed the person in the room was none other than Bouncing Boy, who somehow had made it Restoria, and, for some reason, was wearing a blonde wig. Five seconds later Jan realized it was Dirk when his jaw dropped.

"Nearest I can tell, it's an allergic reaction."

Shvaughn, Jan, and the hotel doctor were all standing around the now bloated Dirk. When Shvaughn saw Dirk's bloated form, she did a double take and then asked if she was still dreaming. Dirk almost cried.

"What was the last thing you ate in twenty-four hours?" The doctor asked. "Nothing! Just some soup!" Dirk said. "Well, either that or you got bitten by something. Although nothing I've heard about can cause this kind of swelling so fast." The doctor pulled Jan aside. "You sure this is what he looked like last night?" The doctor motioned to a holo-picture of Dirk before he swelled up. "Yep." "Why is it so warm?" Dirk asked. He wiped sweat from his forehead. "Warm? Young man you're ice cold!" Dirk was getting annoyed. This was the second person to say that. He saw the doctor say something to Jan and Shvaughn that he couldn't hear, and just moaned to himself.

As the doctor left, Dirk looked in the mirror and groaned. "I look like a pregnant water balloon." "Well if anything, you carry it well." Shvaughn joked to lighten the mood. "I don't want to carry anything! All I wanted was to spend Christmas somewhere warm. Instead, I put on two-hundred pounds overnight and I feel like I'm on fire." "You ARE Sun Boy, remember?" Jan pointed out. "My powers have nothing to do with this!" "Well, it looks like we have to go back to Metropolis." Shvaughn side. So much for the vacation. "Oh HELL no! And listen to the snickers and laughs from everyone else at Legion HQ? I'm not leaving here until I get over this, and I am going to enjoy myself if it kills me!" Dirk marched back into his room and started to look for something to wear. Shvaughn and Jan exchanged worried looks.

"...he's persistent, I'll give you that." Shvaughn said.

RIP!

"But first I gotta find something that fits."

But despite his best hopes, Dirk was not enjoying himself. He borrowed a bathing suit with an elastic waistband from Jan, and they bought one of those large button-up shirts with the floral print from the giftshop, but that just got more stares. And the staring made him feel warmer. He tried swimming, until finally, Dirk just sat under one of the big umbrellas and felt sorry for himself.

"How you feeling?" They asked him.

"Warm. Bored. Miserable." He groaned. "You want anything?" Shvaughn asked. "Something cold to drink. And ice cream." "I think you should lay off the ice cream, pal." Shvaughnjoked to lighten the mood. Dirk moaned. "Just do it. I'm baking alive."

The two walked back inside to the snack bar, looking for something to cool Dirk down.

"So Jan, any ideas?" Shvaughnasked. "Could be his powers acting up. That would explain why he's complaining about the heat. And the swelling, I don't know. Maybe he got bit by something. A mosquito?"

"I thought mosquitoes went extinct in the 27th Century." Shvaughn quizzed. "Well I don't know."

"Maybe you should go examine whatever it was he ate for dinner last night. You remember?"

"No."

"What are you thinking? An enemy of the Legion?"

"The only one who's got it out for Dirk is Dr. Zaxton Regulus, but I don't sense any radiation."

"What do you sense?"

"Magic."

Shvaughn almost paled. This was bad. Really bad. "Evillo? Glorith?" She leaned in and whispered the last name. "Mordru?" "No. I don't think so."

"We better get to the bottom of this. I haven't seen him this sad since Gigi turned him down." The two got back with snacks when they started to interrogate him. "Dirk, did you talk to anyone before we left?" Jan asked. "No, not that I remember." He said, practically shoveling the ice cream in his mouth and ignoring the stares. He was almost on fire.

"What about that kid in the 'port?" Shvaughn reminded. "Who? Him? Yeah, I guess." "What was his name?" Jan asked. 'John, Johnny I think." He took a gulp of the cold Silverale they got him. "And what were you guys talking about?" Shvaughn asked again, the policewoman in her shining brightly.

"I don't know. The weather or something, I guess." Dirk shrugged and tossed away the empty container and bottle. He wiped at his forehead. What was it, 120 degrees?

"You're still warm?"

"Yeah. I can't cool down."

"Dirk maybe you we should take you to see a real doctor. This is serious. We can get the next flight back to-" Shvaughn started. "No! Look, a couple of extra pounds and me feeling overheated is not going to ruin my-"

The three turned when they heard some of the girls Dirk had been flirting with last night snickering at him. He hung his head in shame.

"I'm just going to go put the AC on and sleep in my room. Like a bear in hibernation." And with that, he left the two. They were really worried now. "Jan?" "Yeah?" "This is really scary." Jan didn't reply. "Jan? What is it?" "Hmm? Oh, nothing. Shvaughn. Nothing." He took his gaze off from the tree that Dirk has passed in the lobby, particularly on one ornament that was strikingly familiar.

Dirk dragged himself up back to his room, ignoring stares from the people who had seen him the other day and were wondered what the hell had happened. He finally made up to their suite, but by the time he got there, he was suffering from another problem. "Oh why are my arms so stiff? And geez, it's like a sauna!" Dirk tried to air out his collar the way people do in a boiling hot room, but then he decided to shut all the blinds and cranked the AC back up to full blast. "Oh that's much better." He sighed as he plopped down back on the bed, but it shook more violently when he did. The person in the room below heard it. "Hey, keep it down in there!" "Oh shut up!"

Shvaughnand Jan walked back to the room, both dripping wet from the pool but still concerned and thinking about what to do.

"So look, before we go, maybe we should exchange gifts. With the way this is going, we could-"

"NOOOOO!!"

"Dirk!"

They ran back to Dirk's room at the end of the hall and kicked in the door.

"Dirk what is… it."

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph."

On the bed, they saw Dirk sitting up, abject horror masking his face. Why was he scared? Below the waist, everything had turned into a ball of snow.

"I'm going to wake up, and when I do, my entire lower half is not going to be made of snow. Right guys?"

They didn't answer.

"GUYS??"

"What the hell happened?!" Shvaughn yelled. They tried to help Dirk off the bed. "I closed my eyes for ten seconds and when I woke up I was like this!" he cried as he waved his arms. "Jan, can't you use your powers to fix this?" "Dirk, I know I'm about to sound useless, but I can't." "Why?!" "Because first off, this is magic. And magic plus superpowers equals bad." Shvaughn said. "And somehow your lower half is still responding to motor skills, and somehow you aren't bleeding through, meaning that the snow IS your body. I can't transmute bone, skin, veins, and blood. I could wind up connecting the wrong thing to the wrong end and you could be worse off now than when you started. It's the same reason I can't make Garth a new arm."

"So I'm stuck like this?! And what if it gets worse, because you know it will!" Dirk pointed out. "As long as the air conditioner holds out we should be-" Jan couldn't finish.

FZZT.

"Fine."

"You just HAD to, didn't you?" Dirk asked.

...

"Sir, we need to commandeer your freezer."

The three were now back in the lobby. They wrapped Dirk in a blanket while Jan kept up a miniature cold field to halt off the melting. They were still getting strange looks, mostly because they were still in their bathing suits.

"What?"

"Official Legion and Sci-Pol business. You understand." Shvaughnflashed her S.P. badge and Jan showed off his Legion Flight Ring. Rather than cause a scene, the manager brought the three through the kitchen to the freezer. The kitchen workers gavethem strange looks before they were shooed away by the manager. One almost tripped on the water trail Dirk was leaving behind. They opened up the freezer. It was big, filled with all kinds of frozen food. But the light was blinking on and off until it fizzled out. FSSH!

"Here we go, Dirk." Jan said. "Get in." Dirk struggled with the idea for a minuted. "Couldn't we just get another air conditioner? A big one?" He asked. "We don't have time for that now." Jan told him. "And I can't keep a cold field around you 24-7. I could give your human half pneumonia."

"But it's dark! The light's burned out." Dirk pointed out. Then, he he removed the coat, and let out a moan as his torso turned to snow as well. The two tried to hasten him in. "Dirk, we are trying to help. Now shut up, and get your fat frozen ass in the stupid freezer." Shvaughn's patience was running thin.

"Okay, look Shvaughn, I-"

"GET IN THE SPROCKING FREEZER!!" They both ordered. Dirk did, and waddled inside. They shut the door behind him.

"Okay, we have to call someone from the Legion." Shvaughn told Jan. He agreed. "We need White Witch, or Brainy, something to figure out what is-wait, do you hear that?" "What?" Shvaughn asked. She didn't hear anything. "Exactly." Jan said. "It's lunchtime and there's no sound from the other guests eating."

Inside, Dirk was cursing to himself. He ran his hands over his snowy form and started to praying to whatever higher power there was to make this go away and he would never hit on Shvaughn again. Then, he heard laughter, and from out of nowhere, Johnny appeared, perched on a box at the other end of the freezer.

"Well well. You look different Dirk. Having a red hot Christmas like you wanted?"

"You! Johnny!" Dirk pointed a branch at Johnny. Branch? Oh no. His arms had turned into tree branches! Dirk let out a startled cry. Johnny laughed. "Johnny, yeah. Or Jacky."

"Jack Frost!" Dirk concluded.

"Bingo!"

"What the hell did you do to me?!" He yelled at him. "Well you wanted a red hot Christmas. And I gave you one. It won't be long before your heat powers go on the flux, and then, deep-fried ice cream."

"Science Police! Put your hands in the air and back away from him NOW!!"

The door flew open, and Shvaughn had her gun aimed right at Jack. Jan was right next to her, his hands ready to transmute

"Oh goody. Miss Policeman's gonna read me my Miranda Rights."

"I'll do it buddy."

He pointed a finger "Oh please. Like I'm-"

BLAM!

"You shot me, you crazy witch!" The bullet went right through Jack's shoulder. Blue blood was creeping out the wound.

"Jan, get him out of here! I'll take care of Frosty for now! Go!"

"Come on!" Jan motioned. Dirk did his best and waddled out, Shvaughnstanding in front of them and backing away with her gun aimed at Jack's head.

"What about-" Dirk stopped when he saw the dining room.

"Oh my God."

Every single diner had been turned to ice. "Dirk what the hell did you say to him?!" Jan shook him desperately. "I don't know! I just said how I hated winter-"

"You told the spirit of the season you hated winter. Nice." "I didn't know he was Jack Sprocking Fro-" Dirk stopped when he got a funny feeling in his nose. That funny feeling took shape as his noise started getting longer, and longer, until finally...

"Oh. Oh no."

There was a bright orange carrot sticking out of Dirk's face.

"I just wanted a warm Christmas, and I get a carrot nose."

"AARGH!"

"SHVAUGHN!"

"Oh my, I think I gave your girlfriend the cold shoulder."

"Eat napalm, Jack!"

From his hands streamed forth napalm created from oxygen molecules. Jack beat it back with ice.

"Oh please, you really think this bothers me? I've made it snow in Brazil for the love of ice!" Dirk backed up into a corner, next to a frozen family of four. Jan had ti be careful or he would destroy an innocent frozen bystander.

"You don't like that? How 'bout this?" Jan asked. His hands glowed with white energy as he converted the snow coming from Jack's hands into cotton.

"Oh come on. Try something origin-"

He stopped all of a sudden when the snow and ice around him started to melt. Then,

"What did you-?"

"I'm a Trommite. It's easy for me to re-arrange the atomic structure of anything I want, but not everything, but there is the exception to some stuff created from magic. That snow's now rock salt."

"And yet you can't transmute legs?!" Dirk cried. Jan groaned. They listened as Jack shrieked and melted into a pile of water.

"Thanks Jan. My one hope of getting turned back to normal you just melted."

"Don't worry Dirk. We can get help from the Legion. But first..."

Jan flew over to the center of the room, and in a flash, the frozen diners, and the frozen Shvaughn, were back to normal. The diners wondered what had happened as Jan comforted Shvaughn, when the pool that was Jack started to bubble, and he emerged in a monstrous form.

"I WILL NOT BE MADE FUN OF BY CHILDREN! I HAVE BEEN DOING THIS JOB SINCE TIME STARTED AND I AM SICK OF HEARING PEOPLE BITCH AND MOAN ABOUT WANTING IT TO BE WARMER! WELL TOUGH TINSEL! MORGNA, YOU WERE THE LAST STRAW! I WORK HARD AND I WILL BE APPRECIATED!"

"You ain't doing a very good job." Shvaughn said.

"Enough kiddie games!" With a snap of his hands, icicles emerged like blades from his fingertips. He lunged at Jan, who ducked and did a kick to Jack's gut. Jack did a flip and slashed at Shvaughn, and nicked her hair. Jan tried to transmute the air around Jack into sleeping gas, but he blew it back at them and made the two woozy. When their guard was down, he moved in for the cool, when he got blasted to the other side of the room by Dirk. His twig arms were on fire, but he did not care.

"ALRIGHT! I'm sorry! I'm sorry I said I hated winter! I'm sorry I insulted your work! But I will not let you hurt those two! I don't care if I do melt! So bring it, you flash-frozen fripping freak!"

"Are you insane?!" One of the diners asked.

"Possibly! I just wanted a warm Christmas, and now this guy's trying to kill my friends. Well I say sprock no!"

"He's a saint! A saint!" A bunch of girls cried.

Jack got up and glared at Dirk, before he snapped his fingers and the flames on Dirk's hand disappeared. Jack turned back into his old form.

"Wha-?"

"Finally! Was an apology to much to ask for?!"

"An, an apology?! You put me through hell for an APOLOGY?!" Dirk screamed.

"Sue me. Well, I gotta-" Jack was about to hightail it out before Jan grabbed his collar. "A-hem." He pointed to Dirk. Jack sighed in defeat. "Oh fine. There." With a snap of his fingers, he turned Dirk from snow to flesh. He let out a happy cry that he was no longer made of snow.

"Oh thank-wait, I'm still fat!"

"And the swelling?" Jan asked.

"Hmm? Oh, that's just water weight. Moisture from the snow. That should go down in, oh, a week or so."

"A WE-?!" Shvaughn cut off Dirk with her hand on his mouth. "Okay, that's fine." Jack shook off some dust from his jacket. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to deal with some brat who won't stop begging for a snow day. I'll give him a snow day." He snapped his fingers and he was gone. Jan sighed, Shvaughnremoved her hand, and Dirk looked at his body. "What am I gonna do?" Dirk moaned. "You're still alive." Jan said. "And you're not melting." Shvaughn pointed out. "But I'm still huge. And we're stuck here for a-"

"Uh, Sun Boy? Mr. Morgna?"

The three turned to see a bunch of girls from before. A green-skinned Taltarian, a pale Zwenite, and a girl from Nullport. The Zwenite spoke up.

"We all saw the way you saved your friends. And we just think that you are really brave."

"And cute." The Nullportian finished. He perked up.

"Can I get you anything, Mr. Morgna? A shirt? Something to drink?" The Taltarian girl asked. "Hey I wanna get him a drink!" The Zwenite pushed the Taltarian out of the way. "No me!" The Nullportian ordered. "Ladies, ladies. There's more than enough of me to go around." He led the girls under his arms and smiled, smiling brighter then he had the last couple of days. "You bet there is, big boy." "Please, call me Dirk." They all sighed.

Shvaughn and Jan just gaped. "Unbelievable." Shvaughn said. "So now what do we do?" "Wanna make out?" Jan asked. She turned to face him, and then they backed up into the broken freezer and shut the door.

Four days later, the three were enjoying Christmas dinner. Jan and Shvaughn exchannged gifts earlier, and spent a good five minutes under the mistletoe, while Dirk practically opened a kissing both. They were waiting for diesert.

"So, I guess this vacation wasn't so bad." Shvaughn reflected. "Yep. I look like myself again. And the girls can't keep their hands off me!" Dirk exclaimed happily. "So I guess you got what you wanted for Christmas, huh?" Jan asked.

"I sure-"

"I apologize sirs, madam, but the freezer seem to be on the blink, so your dessert might be a little softer than expected."

The waiter reeled in their dessert. He removed the tray, to reveal an ice cream cake shaped like a snowman, partially melted and melting still. The sight of it sent Dirk straight to the floor.

"Is he-?"

"Don't ask." They said.

Bombshell bit into the last bite of her dessert.

"Well, looks like Dirk got his cake. Too bad he couldn't get a slice. So, I hope you guys enjoyed that. I know I didn't. Now, who do I see about getting paid around-"

BEEP! BEEP!

"Huh. Looks like the Fearsome Five are going on a rampage in town. Looks like this holiday ain't such a total bust after all. Aw yeah, Titans! Merry Christmas!"

Next Track:

06. Toy Shop Madness