Disclaimer: Today is April 4th...you know what THAT means...
Well, yeah, it means I finally updated this story for the few people who are actually reading it. I am very proud of this accomplishment, though I think I should give a vague warning: sanity ends after this paragraph so brace yourselves. XD (no, I'm serious, nothing makes sense...)
Just to refresh your memory--Ash, Brock, May, Misty and Pikachu were finally free from court (well...sorta) and they were walking outside in the destroyed area as they searched for Team Rocket, so they could bring them back to court and so the whole "Max the Robot" thing would be off their chests for good. Hopefully...
"Hey, Team Rocket!" screamed Ash. "Look at me! I've got a pikachu, ripe and fresh off the market! COME 'N GET IT!"
Everything was silent.
"I SAID, COME ON! GET YOUR PIKACHUZ HERE! FREE, WITH PAID ORDER AND SHIPPINGZ AND HANDLINGZ! RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! ALL READY TO BE STOLEN! CAN'T YOU HEAR ME?!"
"Obviously not, if they're not answering you." Misty rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Ash. You've got issues."
"Good issues or bad issues?" asked Ash.
"I think it's best if we don't find out." laughed May.
"No, really, guys." said Brock, getting back on subject. "I think it's best if we just play it out normal and pretend nothing whacked-up is going on. That way, they'll just come like they always do--the easy way."
Ash scratched his chin. "Good point...but I think I have a better plan." He eyed Pikachu with a large, scary smile and Pikachu stared back at him suspiciously. Oh no...this was NOT going to be good...
...
Five minutes later, the electric mouse found himself tied with rope to a large oak tree, squirming and screaming to get free. How do I get myself into these things?, he thought hopelessly, giving up the struggle as his arms were getting tired.
"Uhhhhh...nice plan, Ash." said Misty sarcastically. "Are we searching for Team Rocket or watching Pikachu get crucified on a tree?"
Ash smiled. "Both."
Pikachu was getting fed up with Ash and thunderbolted him from the tree in annoyance. Ash stepped up, fried like a slab of bacon, bewildered of the fact that he thought the rope was electric-proof the whole time and yet he still got shocked. Brock, May and Misty all laughed at him. This made Ash...um...cry. He tilted his hat down so no one would detect the tears. However, it was an old tactic and it didn't succeed in fooling anybody.
"Ash, stop crying." Brock mumbled, slapping his forehead. "Be a big boy."
"I am a big boy!" he proclaimed against Brock, crystal-like tears stinging his eyes. He hadn't even noticed that his outburst just revealed the fact that he was crying. Not like Misty and May didn't know about it in the first place...
And then Pikachu of course, had a new problem of his own. The electric mouse sniffed the air and sighed. He could smell Team Rocket only inches away, probably attracted by the sound of a crying twerp, most likely readying themselves to jump out and recite their infamous motto. And now...oh, perfect. He was tied to a tree. No escape. Ash was too much of a baby to even notice Pikachu was in danger. Could this day possibly get any better?
All of a sudden, a smoke ball went off. Oh, wonderful, thought Pikachu as he hung limply from the tree.
Ash, Brock, May and Misty all fell to the ground in absolute shock, petrified. They began coughing like mad and gasping for air. Slowly, the smoke vanished away and they managed to catch their footing and their breath.
"HOLY FRIG!" shouted Ash. "WHO COULD'VE DONE THIS?!" He started crying again, shielding his face into his arm in another bad attempt to hide his emotions. Didn't work.
Brock, Misty and May were all looking around in confusion because they were all too stupid to understand what was happening to them, although it's happened more than a million times in their pathetic lives.
"What's happening?" asked May.
Finally, the last of the smoke disappeared and Jessie of Team Rocket came out from behind a bush with...maracas?
"!Prepare para el problema!" she exclaimed in pure Spanish. The friends also stopped to notice she was wearing a sombrero with a fake mustache and a colourful Mexican outfit.
"!Hagalo duplica!" rang another voice and James dived in from the other side, also dressed in Mexican apparel with a banjo. (O.o)
"!Para proteger el mundo de la devastacion!" Jessie continued.
"!Para unir a todas personas dentro de nuestra nacion!" James followed.
"!Para denunciar las males de la verdad y el amor!"
"!Para extender nuestro alcance a las estrellas arriba!"
"!Jessie!"
"!James!"
"!El Cohete del equipo despega en la velocidad de la luz!"
"!Rinda ahora o prepare para luchar!"
"!Meowth, es cierto!" The tan cat pokemon jumped out of seemingly, the middle of nowhere, dressed in the same expensive looking outfits his comrades were in. (where on the planet did they get the money for this?)
"Now hand over the pikachu, por favor." ordered Jessie, gesturing her hand out towards the twerps.
"Yeah, and can we get out of these outfits?" asked James, wiping sweat off his forehead. "It's hot today, and I don't know if these clothes are flammable or not."
"Si, da colours sorta clash with my eyes." agreed Meowth, holding up a mirror.
Jessie rolled her eyes and grabbed the banjo, bashing the two with it. She managed to break it right through James's head and he wore it around his neck like a medal. Both he and Meowth tumbled over with torchics flying around their heads.
"There's a little taste of my Mexican fury!" she said in pride. Her nose twitched. "Frig, I hate this mustache! Who's idea was this anyway?!" She threw the stache onto the ground and stomped on it until it turned to a pile of brown hair. The children watched, obviously not amused. Jessie had seemed to forget about the mission.
"Um...excuse me, but can I have your sombrero?" asked Ash politely. "I love those things. I used to have one from my grandpa who lives in Idaho, but I lost it once when I was sticking my head out the car window."
"Oh, sure." replied Jessie casually with a shrug, tossing the hat at Ash, knocking the boy over in the process. He didn't really seem to care though, as he just brushed the dirt off his outfit and put on his spiffy looking sombrero. He tilted it in a fashion that he thought was cool, but no one was too impressed.
Pikachu almost face-faulted from his tree. This was hopeless...
"So, Team Rocket, what are you doing here?" asked Brock, hoping to strike conversation. He knew as long as Jessie was distracted, it was a good time to lure them into court. Brock was ready to get this thing off his back--that book bag sure was heavy.
James finally got the banjo off his neck and was standing next to Jessie. "I dunno." he replied. "We were just taking a long nature walk, I guess. I sure love nature. Yay, trees!" He pumped his fist in the air, causing Jessie to sweatdrop in annoyance. Instead, she turned to the children, firing back the same question in hopes of escaping any more pointlessness.
"So what are YOU twerps doing here?" asked Jessie.
"Don't play dumb. You know what you did!" cried Ash, shaking his fist. "You turned Max into a deadly robot with chainsaws that jumped into the lake and destroyed half the city and now we're all gonna diiiiiiiiie!"
All Ash received was three blank stares.
"What's it trying to say?" asked James, studying the boy.
Meowth laughed. "He thinks that we turned the geeky twerp into a robot!"
"He does, does he?" asked Jessie. "That's...that's...that's HILARIOUS! HAHAHAHA! What kind of idiots does he think we are?"
The villians all fell onto the ground, roaring with laughter and kicking their legs in the air.
The four children and Pikachu stared at them, sweatdropping.
Brock slapped his forehead once more. "Ohhhhh...I think I need to lie down." he announced.
"Why Brock? Are you tired?" asked Ash. He looked around. "Wait, where are we?"
All of Ash's friends tumbled onto the ground and sweatdropped.
"Uhhh...Transylvania." answered Misty. Ash, hearing this, began to get very excited. He clapped his hands in delight and jumped in joy, so high that his sombrero barely fell off.
"Yay! I always wanted to go there! I hope I meet Count Dracula!" he chirped. "I hear he likes to drink blood! I also want to go see some ghosts and maybe even catch one! Don't you think a ghost would make a pretty good pokemon on my team?"
"Er, Ash?" asked May in a bit of a worried tone.
"I've always wanted to meet a real were-mightyena, too! Those things are awesome!"
"Ash?" asked May again.
"And let's not forget Frankenstein. Ah, he was a hit." Ash remarked, laughing and waving his hand.
"AAAAASH!" screamed Misty, getting impatient with it all.
Ash blinked. "What?"
Misty pointed to the old tree, where Pikachu was (keyword: WAS) hanging. Team Rocket had taken Ash's rambling as their chance to make a quick getaway, and though pikachu was pretty much screaming at the top of his lungs, Ash was completely oblivious to the fact. The boy now looked up in astonishment, surprised by his own embarrassing stupidity.
"Well, this sucks." he exclaimed sourly.
"Come on! They couldn't have gotten far! If we start looking now, we should find them in no time!" Brock suggested
"Right." the children agreed, following Brock as he was their commander.
Meanwhile...with the great, talented, all-powerful Team Rocket...
"Wow. Dat was easy." exclaimed Meowth as they fastened Pikachu, in electric-proof trap of course, to the Meowth balloon so he wouldn't go flying off. All of them were somehow out of their Mexican outfits because that kind of stuff always happens on the show.
"Hmmm, I guess, but...I've been a-thinkin'." started James.
"That's a first." remarked Jessie.
"Yeah, what's wrong?" asked Meowth.
"Oh, nothing, nothing." replied James. "Only, the idea just struck me--stealing Pikachu would be so much more fun if we had some music to sing along with!" At this, he grabbed a radio from behind his back and turned it on to Mix100.
"Oh no!" wailed Jessie. "Not that old thing! I thought it ran out of batteries a long time ago!" (A/N: only people who have read Chapter 6 of TR: Unemployed will understand this. XD)
"So did I." agreed Meowth. "OH WELL! Turn up da volume and let's shake some boo-tay!" He began to dance along with James. Pikachu was still strapped to the balloon, trying to get free when he heard the radio and got excited. Crank That Soulja Boy! I LOVE this song!, he thought, and he also tried to dance from where he was tied captive.
Jessie's eye twitched as she sat criss-cross applesauce not too far away. "This isn't happening..." she mumbled. "This is all idiotic and it isn't happening...there is NO way I'm about to give in to--"
"Watch me crank it, watch me roll, watch me crank dat soulja boy!"
She slapped her forehead. "Eh, what the heck?" she shrugged and joined in with the dance.
...
Ash and his friends stopped for a second to catch their breath. Ash was panting like mad and driving everybody around him insane.
"Why are we stopping?" inquired May.
"I dunno, but it's for Ash's own good." replied Brock. "He looks like he's going to have an heart attack any minute now." He turned to Ash and looked at him suspiciously. "Have you been forgetting to take your heart pills?"
"NO!" Ash roared, then in a quieter voice, he admitted, "...yeah."
"And what have I told you about eating Honey Nut Cheerios for a heart healthy diet?" asked Brock.
Ash sighed and mumbled inaudibly, "To retain a happy and healthy heart, Honey Nut Cheerios gives your day a kick start."
"Louder!" commanded Brock.
"To retain a happle heart, Money Rut Cheerios gives your day a kick fart!" Ash repeated with enthusiasm.
"Not funny, Ash." Misty exclaimed, rolling her eyes.
"Yeah, stop messing around. Don't you want to find Pikachu?" asked May.
"Of course I do!" Ash shrieked. "I love that mouse! He makes my world spin 'round and 'round! He revolves around my sun! He is the great planet, Jupiter, in my solar system! He is my Milky Way! Pikachu, you are the galaxy!"
Everyone gawked at Ash in confusion and decided to ignore his gibberish.
"So Brock, where do you think they could have gone?" asked May, getting back on subject.
"Probably not far." concluded Misty. "They have the worst crime record in history. There's no way they would get away with it."
"Misty's right." agreed Brock. "Right now they are probably just hanging around in the forest and gloating about their steal. There is, of course, the chance that they actually returned to headquarters and delivered Pikachu to their boss. But knowing those three, the idea seems a little...far fetched."
"Farfetch'd? Where?! GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL!" screamed Ash, pitching a pokeball in the air. It flew into the sky and hit a nearby tree.
"He wasn't speaking literally, Ash." Misty mumbled, getting fed up with his stupid actions.
"GO POKEBALL!" Ash screamed again, not listening to Misty as he threw another pokeball. It hit Brock's shoe and pulled it in with a red light. The pokeball shook three times and then glowed white. Brock looked down at his left foot, which now only had a sock.
"Ash...where is my shoe?" he demanded.
"I caught a new pokemon!" Ash shouted, still in his trance. He held up the pokeball and tossed it. "Go, whoever you are!" The pokeball opened and out came Brock's left shoe.
"O.o What the heaven?" asked May.
"Now, to find out your species." Ash proposed, getting out his pokedex.
"Sneaker, the shoe pokemon." said Dexter, Ash's portable electronic assistant. "It attacks by using its fierce shoelaces as a weapon, whipping its foes and spraying them with a foul odor of smelly feet and toe fungus. Sneakers come in many varieties and are known to have aggressive personalities at times, but with love, care, and clean feet, it has been known to lather love on its trainer and all around it."
May blinked. "Seriously, Ash...what the heaven?" she repeated.
"MY SHOE!" cried Brock, though it was most impossible to cry without eyes. He missed his shoe. He had it for two years...ever since that unforgettable day at Payless Shoes, the pair of shoes had always made Brock smile. But now...with only the right and not the left...it was like having the Batman without the Robin. The Sonic without the Tails. The peanut butter without the jelly.
Ash didn't even seem to notice. He was too happy about his new catch. "Hey, Sneaker! I wonder what type you are! Maybe flying." He threw the shoe in the air. It hit Misty and she almost became unconscious. "Okey...maybe not flying." Ash remarked, picking up the naughty sneaker.
"AAAAAAAAASH!" fumed Misty, looking pretty darn angry. That shoe was the last straw.
"What?" asked Ash.
Misty hit Ash in the head with her purple GameBoy Advance. He got up and started running and naturally, Misty followed, GameBoy in hand. Brock, May, Pikachu and Sneaker all sweatdropped as they watched the rampage.
"We should get going." Brock said to cut the silence.
"Yeah, let's." agreed May.
...
"I like to move it move it, he like to move it move it, she like to move it move it, we like to...MOVE IT!" sang Meowth with the radio. Pikachu was now free from the cage, and he and Meowth were doing a country-style dance. Jessie was watching them with little interest now, for they were getting annoying with the continous singing. James was eating a chocolate Recess Peanut Butter cup.
"Why am I getting the feeling I am the only sane one here?" asked Jessie.
James shrugged and shoved the last of the candy in his mouth. Then he started eating a Twix.
Jessie looked to him in shock. "Hey! Where are you getting that?" she demanded suspiciously.
James finished the Twix and took out a Butterfingers. "Getting what?" he asked, taking his first bite of the new chocolate bar.
"Getting...that?" she asked, pointing to his chocolate.
"Oh, this? I don't know, but it's good!" he squealed, taking out some Peanut M 'n' Ms. He began munching on the different coloured pieces.
"Well, can I have some?" asked Jessie hopefully.
"NOOO! I found them! Founders keepers, losers weepers!" James protested, holding the bag back. "Go get your own!"
This made her mad. "NOBDOY SAYS NO TO JESSIE! Now hand it over!" As if James didn't remember the consequences of messing with the red-head, he continued to refuse. Jessie went to take out her mallet, but it was gone missing. So instead, she took out a squirty water bottle and squirted it at James, causing him to freak out and drop the remainder of his candy. "BAD! BAD JAMES! NO CANDY FOR YOU!"
"Okay, okay, you can have it, just stop squirting me with that thing!" James pleaded.
Jessie took the candy and smiled. Hey, this thing works better than the mallet and the fan put together, she thought as she took a victorious bite. The uproar had, however, got the attention of Meowth and Pikachu and now they wanted the candy too.
"Where'd ya get that! Give Meowth some!" the cat demanded.
"Pi! PEEEKA! (don't forget me, of course!)" Pikachu added, as he and Meowth began attacking Jessie for the candy. It was a life-death situation.
James watched them for a while, when his eye caught the squirt bottle on the ground next to him and gasped. "Stop staring at me like that!" he barked at the inadamant object.
The squirt bottle did not answer.
"Stop that, I say!"
The squirt bottle still continued to sit there.
"Oh, I see how this is!" James said angerly. "You're just keeping quiet so you can plan a sneak attack on me. Well that ain't gonna happen, buddy! That AIN'T gonna happen!" He threw a rock at the squirt bottle and hid behind a tree.
The squirt bottle did nothing.
Meanwhile, Jessie, Pikachu and Meowth finally finished fighting. Jessie and Meowth were electrocuted to death and smoking from where they lay, whereas Pikachu sat a couple inches away, unscratched, happily eating the chocolate.
"Pi. Peeka bigga bi.(sometimes it's just too easy)." he chuckled to himself, finishing the candy off and licking the remainder off his lips. He chucked the empty bag into the air behind his back.
"Hey, you little rat! Don't you dare mess with Team Rocket! You hear me?" asked Jessie.
"Yeah, you do as we say from now on, Junior!" Meowth added.
Pikachu turned around, electricity sparking up in his cheeks to signal another thunderbolt attack. Jessie and Meowth stepped back with their eyes wide in fright.
"O...OK. You win." Meowth surrendered. Pikachu went back to what he was doing which--unknowest to Team Rocket--was calling on Ash and friends.
James was still hiding behind the tree and throwing stuff at the squirt bottle when an empty bag of M 'n' Ms fell on his head and he freaked out--again. Until he noticed it was an M 'n' M bag. He ate up the crumbs on the inside and then used the bag to catch the wild squirt bottle. He did it.
"HAHA! Yes, finally! Caught ya!" he laughed evilly.
All of a sudden, there was a ruffle in the bushes. This caused everybody to look on in suspicion. Jessie held up the squirt bottle, finger on the trigger, ready to shoot if she had to. "Show yourself!"
"Wha-where did you get that?" asked James. He looked back at where he trapped the bottle. The empty bag flew away on the wind. "Oh..."
Pikachu's ears twitched, for he knew who it was. "Bi! Pika pi!"
"Da twiops?!" Meowth repeated, translating Pikachu's words.
"Oh no! They can't come here! We're supposed to make a quick getaway!" Jessie wailed. She put Pikachu in Meowth's arms. "Take 'im to the balloon! James will stall, and I'll watch!"
"What? Come on! Why me all the time?" inquired James. "Why do you get to--"
Jessie sprayed him with the squirt bottle. "NAUGHTY JAMES! BAD! BAD! BAAAAAAD!" she yelled between every death squirt.
"GAAAAH! No more water!" he screamed. "Okey, I'll do it already, sheeeesh..." James exclaimed. He got in front of Jessie and raised his fist worriedly, like he was planning on punching the twerps...but we all know he's too much of a wimp to do so.
The bush kept rustling and rustling. Everyone stepped back when...it...jumped out.
"Uhhh...what is dat ting?" asked Meowth.
"Looks like a shoe." Jessie answered. "A very twerpy-looking one if you ask me."
The sneaker slapped the ground with its shoelace, angry at the insult. It looked ready for a battle. Jessie pushed James in front. "He's all yours!"
"Eh-heh, I don't think--"
"No, I insist!" said Jessie, pushing him even closer the the shoe of doom.
"Go get him, Tiger!" encouraged Meowth.
"Come on, it's a shoe." James chuckled nervously. "Do I really have to FIGHT it?"
"Well you don't HAVE to...that is, of course, if you'd rather get a taste of..." said Jessie. She brought a familiar object from behind her back. "...this!"
James's eyes widened. "NO! Not the naughty bottle! Anything but the naughty bottle! I'LL DO IT, JESSIE, I'LL DO IT!"
The shoe flashed its shoelaces and made a battle stance. James looked at it blankly. "Alright...this is it, I guess." he said, making his own battle stance, a very nerdy one. "HI YAH! Come and get me!"
The shoe jumped into the air and tackled into his head. James fell on the ground. Jessie and Meowth looked at it and blinked, noticing the logo on the side. "So...I heard Nikes are in style nowadays..." Jessie said nervously to cut into the silence. The shoe looked at Jessie and flew into her head, then made a U turn and hit Meowth. All three of them were on the ground, seeing stars. Pikachu sweatdropped.
"Pi...(why me?)"
Not much sooner, the twerps arrived behind the killer shoe. "Ah ha! I knew Sneaker could track you guys down, no problem!" laughed Ash.
"Hey, that's not fair!" growled Meowth.
"Yeah, leave us alone! You've caused us enough owies..." James added, rubbing his sore noggin.
Jessie squirted James with the naughty bottle. "Stop going soft on them!" she ordered. "I mean, these are twerps for crying out loud." She turned to the children. "OK, blast us off already. Just get it over with though, we can't wait all day."
"Er...weeeell..." said Brock. "We would but, that's not what we're aiming for. No...not THIS time..."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" James howled.
"Dey're gonna kill us!" cried Meowth.
"Uhhhhh...no. We're just bringing you to jail." Ash said. Misty covered his mouth and laughed. "He means, we're bringing you to...uh...Chipotle's!"
"Ooooh, burritos!" squealed James clapping his hands.
"Yeah, bring on the Beano!" agreed Meowth, running up to the twerps.
Bad idea.
To his surprise, May scooped the cat up in her arms and held him tight, not letting go. "Alright Brock, I've got him!" she yelled back.
"Gah, not so loud, woman, I'm sittin' right here in yer arms if ya don't mind!" screeched Meowth, trying to free himself from the grasp. He screamed in terror, "Jessie! James! Help, I've been trapped by twiops!"
"Meowth!" yelled James back, running up as well.
Another bad idea.
Before any other movement could be made, Brock grabbed onto his left arm and Misty his right, crossing them behind his back so he couldn't escape. "Oh, no! They've got me, too! JESSIE, HELP!" James shouted, also struggling to get free.
"Bigga...(now you know how I feel...)" trailed the electric mouse, sweatdropping.
"Hey!" Jessie chuckled. "So what if you got them trapped? There's no way you're going to get me. It's just you, the Ash twerp, and you aren't strong enough to hold someone like me back. So why don't you just give up?"
"Oh yeah?" asked Ash. Pikachu and Sneaker bounced in front of him, ready to attack. Jessie was still confused by the shoe, but Pikachu was intimidating enough to give in to the twerps. "Alright...fine, fine. You know, what? FINE! You caught us." Jessie admitted, gritting her teeth. "But why do you want us, exactly? You're working for an Officer Jenny, I presume."
"If dhis is still about dat Max da Robot thing...I swear, Imma pull my brains out." Meowth said from May's arms.
"Well, maybe you shouldn't have made him into a robot in the first place." Misty suggested, twisting James's arm.
"OWOWOW! But we didn't even do it!" James whimpered, his arm hurting like a beast.
"Sure, whatever. You're Team Rocket, we don't expect you to confess, exactly." May exclaimed, rolling her eyes.
"Listen, twerps, we did no such thing!" Jessie snarled. "I mean, that's nonsense. All of this is nonsense. That's it! I'm out of here!" She began to walk away when Pikachu dived in front of her, scaring her with his thunderbolt.
"You aren't going anywhere." Ash laughed. Jessie just growled...more of embarrassment of being held back by a twerp then anything else.
"Can't you just believe us for once?!" Jessie asked, rolling her eyes. "It wasn't us! I swear to Giovanni! We're innocent!"
"Yeah! INNOCEEEEEENT!" sniveled James, his cry only making Brock and Misty hold him back even harder.
"Hm. Why don't you tell that to the judge?" asked Brock.
"You wouldn't..." Jessie growled.
"We would." smirked Ash.
"Well, I hoid every cat has his day, but I guess dis one ain't mine." Meowth sighed, hanging limply from May's grasp.
"Peeka pi...(for once, I have to agree with you)." mumbled the rat, slapping his forehead. His whole day was getting wasted as they spoke. Well, at least they had Team Rocket. As long as they can get this over with and done, Pikachu was satisfied.
Now...how to get them to court. That appeared to be a bit of a problem.
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Changed my mind about this. ;)
...
Sorry if this chapter sorta sucked. It didn't really make sense either, but...whatever. I'm hoping to improve on the next chapter. At least I updated! XD Some of you people probably thought this story was dead, but noooooooooo...it's just kinda...well...stupid. Anyway, whatever. I'm ending this note now, so you might as well not hang around for too much longer...until the next boring chapter, that is. XP
