Sorry this took so long guys. Aside from the usual excuses, I did actually write this chapter about six weeks ago, but I was really unhappy with it and couldn't figure out why. Sad as it is, time lets me read it more objectively, so I'm much more pleased with it now (though, as always, not totally satisfied). And I can assure you this chapter and the next one are a million times better than they would otherwise have been. Please accept my offering of two new chapters, chock full of important happenings, and don't kill me. cowers
Disclaimer: 'T'ain't mine.
Casey was not impressed. At one time the sight would have invoked a plethora of emotions—in fact, she had been almost ecstatic in her humor at Derek's comical behavior during their first real breakup—but she learned long ago to stop hoping that "for good" meant more than a few weeks, a few months at most. Not that she had a reason to hope, exactly.
Sure enough, some fifteen minutes later she saw Derek sigh from the corner of her vision. Rolling his eyes, he heaved himself lethargically out of the chair and silently followed his fiancée out the door. An ironic knowing twisted Casey's mouth as she turned back to finish gathering the dishes balanced haphazardly around the dining room table.
She found herself more accepting of the engagement than she would have thought, though that by no means allowed her any respite. In fact, she was even glad of it in some ways. It gave her more reason to stay resolute, to let her sensible, organized side rule her actions rather than indulging in the past. Not that she had ever let it get to her before; at least, not where anyone was present. And really, she did like Kendra, if only on a surface level. Maybe they could be friends, someday. If Casey could manage to actually talk to Derek without all those barriers she had invented years before and never managed to eradicate. They had been necessary, then, but now they simply made things tense, and Casey found herself feeling guilty whenever she gave herself a normal moment in Derek's presence.
It wasn't that she was ruled by the past, exactly. It was just that she based her life on avoiding its ramifications.
And though it twisted her stomach to think of it, Casey wouldn't let herself forget. Despite herself, there was always a subtle ache when she thought about what had happened; which was, she constantly reminded herself, why she had to remain so conscientious. There was no telling what might happen if she weren't on her guard.
Casey sighed as dropped the dishes into the suds in the sink, waving off her mother's questioning look of concern as she grabbed a sponge and started to scrub.
"You know, Mom, I can handle this if you want to get started on something else." She glanced up at Nora and gave her a reassuring smile, knowing her mother was itching to find where everyone had slipped off to. But more so, Casey wanted to have a reprieve from this pretension, however subtle it may be.
"Are you sure?" Nora asked, but already knowing the answer, she continued with a small smile. "Thanks, Casey. I really want to find Marti. I just know she's either angry or, well, calculating after . . . you know," she ended awkwardly before recovering with a small smile. Patting Casey's arm thankfully as she passed, Nora disappeared into the front room; Casey heard her voice drifting up the stairs and allowed herself to relax, closing her eyes and letting out a tension-filled breath before attacking the plate with renewed vigor.
She couldn't stop herself from thinking, but she didn't really try. Wallowing usually helped. A little. If only it were really over, Casey thought, betraying her earlier rationalizations. Things were so much better when Kendra wasn't around. Not that it was Kendra's fault, really.
But despite everything, Casey had always remembered the summer after graduation as a truly wonderful time; the best, even, maybe. It wasn't that they had graduated, or that they were off to college. It wasn't even that Kendra was finally gone—which Casey hadn't admitted to wishing for—even though it was doubtful Derek and Casey would have become friends as they had if Kendra were in the picture. It was that for the first time, Casey understood Derek a little bit. And she felt that maybe he had understood her, too; though all she gained from it was Derek's annoying tendency to know exactly how to rile her up, then come through for her when she least expected it. Which was really not the best of things, when she thought about it.
Casey let her mouth twist in frustration as she dried the last dish and set it on the counter absently. She couldn't have picked a worse time or place to be thinking about it. After an awkward family dinner, probably over-done politeness about the wedding, and the blow-out earlier, in which she suspected she wasn't entirely blameless—though really, it was Derek's fault—she should be doing everything in her power to forget about everything. Really, she would be doing everything in her power to extricate herself from the situation if she didn't know that any attempt to leave would place her in the middle of the rest of Kendra's breakdown or an altogether avoidable make-up.
"So all that's left is to remind myself of why I'm doing this," she murmured with mustered calm.
It was really such a simple thing that started their downward spiral. An argument, because it was them, and a surprise that wasn't wholly unwelcome. If only Casey had known, she would have just kept to her schedule and avoided an altogether pathetic future; but, of course, family was too important to her, and so she was unwittingly damned.
Casey had never expected her father to follow through on his promises, so she tried her best not to generate too much hope as they worked to restore their relationship. Sure he had visited her and Lizzie, but he was a busy man and it would be unfair to expect a total turnaround, no matter how unfair the situation was for her. So she had been pleasantly surprised when her father called Friday afternoon to say his weekend was clear and she was booked on a flight to New York the following Tuesday. Okay, she would have to shift some plans and bump up that school thing (she had promised to organize the Extra Curricular files before school started back up), but she could do that. After all, she had a chance to visit her dad.
Casey felt the traces of giddiness rise as she listened to her father list the details. She smiled as she copied it diligently into her planner, already contemplating how they would spend the four day trip. Perking up her ears and sitting upright, Casey felt her brain suspend the euphoria before she could fully realize why. Her heart seemed to pause in her chest as the words caught up to her and she heard herself asking, "What?", annoyance and vague disbelief more prominent than she would have liked in the disappointment of her tone. "Derek?"
"Yeah," her father responded, either not sensing what was wrong or deciding he'd rather not deal with it. "I figured he could join us. I mean, you may be going off to school in a few months, but your mom won't let you fly to New York by yourself; and I promised Derek I'd take him to a game sometime. Is that alright?" he asked in slightly more concerned tones. "I mean, I've only booked your ticket so far, so . . . ." The sentence lingered heavily for a moment, and Casey felt the need to dispel the silence.
"Oh. Um, yeah. It's fine," she told him, plastering a smile onto her face in the hopes that it would come through in her tone. He was getting better, but Casey and her Dad were still on uncertain terms. She didn't want to freak him out, especially after the awkwardness that had lingered since he came to that first disastrous dinner two years before.
"Alright." He seemed to be distracted for a moment as muffled sounds came through the phone. "Hey, Case? I've got to go. But I'll see you soon, all right?"
"Okay. I love you, Dad."
"Yeah, honey. Love you, too. Bye." The line clicked and Casey dejectedly set it back on its hook. For some reason, she could no longer work up any excitement about the trip.
Derek was going. Derek. He just couldn't ruin her life the old fashioned way—no, he had to steal the one opportunity she had with her dad, too. Just like last time. She ignored the part of her brain that said she was being irrational. Sure, he hadn't been so bad lately, but now she was certain he was just trying to catch her off guard. Selfish prick. And why did her dad keep his promises to Derek? He had never kept them to her. Suddenly center ice tickets were more important than your daughter? And what about Lizzie? Why did someone who'd met her dad once take precedence over her own sister?
Huffing, she glowered at the wall that separated her room from Derek's. He wouldn't get away with this. She was going to give him a piece of her mind, and if he didn't end up feeling guilty despite his supposed immunity to the feeling, her name wasn't Casey McDonald.
Of course, she had eventually realized that it wasn't really Derek's fault, mostly because of the truly befuddled look on his face when she had ripped off his headphones and started to upbraid him for something he didn't even know about. But that didn't stop her from sulking around the house for the rest of the weekend, sending Derek dirty looks every so often when she thought he wouldn't notice. She may have bitten his head off a few times, too. What happened in the four days between her father's phone call and the flight to New York was probably mostly her fault. After years of picking the situation apart, she finally realized that her behavior had both annoyed Derek and intrigued him to the point that he felt the need to do something about it.
He probably set the whole thing up just to set me off guard, she thought, not for the first time. It would be just like Derek to pull a stunt like that because he somehow knew it would get to me.
But as much as she had already allowed herself to wallow in the past, now was certainly not the time to think about that Monday night. It wouldn't do anything but give her the opportunity to berate herself more, and she really didn't need that right then.
I suppose I've hidden enough for one night, Casey thought resignedly. And she sighed once more before walking out into the fray.
"Really, Marti," Nora was pleading, shifting Casey's attention away from the quietly laughing Lizzie and Edwin to her obstinate youngest stepsister. "I don't know what you're planning, but you and Jenny were not just talking. After all these years, I know when you're plotting, and whatever it is just don't."
"Really, Mrs. Venturi. Er, McDonald. Uh . . . whatever. This evening has been pretty stressful and I think you're taking this too seriously," Casey could tell both from Jenny's flippant tone and the innocent look on Marti's face that her Mom was not taking it too seriously, but refrained from commenting, however much she wanted to. She really didn't know what was going on, and it would be rude to involve herself, especially when she had only met Kendra's cousin once before.
"We were just thinking of ways to help," Marti promised, giving Nora that 'I just wanted to help out my favorite idiot brother' look. "They may have been a little underhanded, but it's the thought that counts."
Casey narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Marti, but noting her mother's worsening state of frazzled nerves, Casey reluctantly intervened on the two girls' behalves.
"Mom, whatever Marti was doing, she obviously isn't anymore." Grasping her mother by the elbow, she led her over to one of the overstuffed armchairs and guided her into it. "Why don't you just relax for a bit, okay?"
"But Casey," her mother started to object.
"I can handle whatever comes up, Mom," Casey assured with an affectionate smile. "But really, take a break, okay?" Her mother nodded halfheartedly and Casey watched her for a moment more before deciding she would do as promised.
She shot Marti a look on her way to straighten up the table, to which the younger girl shrugged and smiled impishly. Casey shook her head and rolled her eyes. Too much like her brother. Which froze the smile starting to form as she stopped the rueful shaking of her head and went determinedly pushing the chairs firmly into place and realigning the centerpiece on the table.
As she had predicted, the door swung open a few minutes later with an almost sheepish motion, though the people who stepped through looked anything but. Kendra was looking consoled and embarrassed, but her arms were still stiff across her chest with a hint of hurt and anger; Derek, for his part, stood casually with his fingertips barely brushing the small of Kendra's back in a furtive comforting gesture. Casey was sure she was the only one who caught the remnants of guilt and the slight flash of tension around his eyes; she took the opportunity to bite the comment off her tongue and turn back to the task at hand, doubling her efforts to effuse normality as, for once, the rest of her family did the same.
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