Disclaimer: No ownage, except for the story. Mmhm, the story is mine.
A/N: I warn you, I was too lazy for grammar check. I'll do it later - promise.
Three chairs had been brought in for the three boys to sit in. Suddenly, the atmosphere had fallen suddenly heavy - or at least, that was how it felt to Edward. Everyone was quite now, the Hokage in thought, Sasuke in curiosity, and the Elric brothers... lost in memory. Edward had also been provided with a blanket, because a moment before, he'd complained of it being cold. There was no rousing him from his own thoughts. He was lost, submerged in what seemed a lifetime of loss and failure.
"Hoenheim... is my- our father," he whispered, head down.
The blonde woman's eyes widened as she took that in. "But... you're just a boy. You're both just boys. Hoenheim was here over a hundred years ago. How is that possible?"
"A hundred years ago?!" Al exclaimed, but really, Edward wasn't surprised. After everything he'd been through... nothing should surprise him anymore. At the mention of his father, he felt as if his world has suddenly been turned upside-down.
"I... don't know," he said, in response to that woman's questions (she still hadn't told them her name yet, although, Edward recalled someone calling her "Hokage" at some point). "Time must be different in this world..." he whispered, too low for anyone but Alphonse to hear. He balled his hands up into tight fists at his side.
"Brother...."
The blonde woman - Hokage? - slammed her hands down onto the desk. "Where is Hoenheim now?" she demanded in a hard voice.
"He... died." Yes, Hoenheim, his father, had died. Edward remembered as clearly as if it had been just moments ago; falling to his knees while his father's blood came down like rain.
The Hokage stood in stunned silence. "I'm sorry to hear that," she whispered, but she sounded more shocked than sorry.
"Yeah..." Edward replied in a voice just as low. "Yeah... me too." For some reason, he could feel his eyes becoming damp. Why should he cry? He hadn't even really liked the man that much. In fact, he'd spent most of his life trying to hate him. Still... Edward was haunted by the look that had been on Hoenheim's face just before he died.
"How did he die?" the woman asked, her voice still breathy from surprise.
Edward closed his eyes tight for a moment, then looked up at her. Golden eyes met shining golden eyes. "I don't really wanna talk about it," Edward said firmly. He had already blinked away the small amount of tears. "I'm sick of thinking about him."
And now as Edward closed his eyes, he could see the dead faces of all the people he'd known. The people who had died in front of his eyes, the ones he'd killed himself, and especially the ones that he'd let die.
------
He was at the Rockbell's place, and a tiny Winry was sobbing with her head down on the kitchen table. "My parents are dead - they can't ever come back!"
------
Ed and Al were laughing. They'd just come back from town, and were running with little baskets of fruit in their arms. "Hello mom!" Ed called happily as he and his brother rushed in through the kitchen door of their house. And there she was, lying there face down on the floor, beautiful brown hair cascading softly over her slightly sweating face. Her eyes were closed.
"Do your mother a favor and transmute something for me. Yes, I know. A ring of flowers would be nice. You see... your father... always used to make them for me...."
Edward had stood there in that silence, his tiny hand grasped in hers, as one last sigh escaped his mother's lips. The life had left her eyes, and her hand fell limp.
------
Back in the Hokage's office, Edward pulled the blanket a little tighter about his shoulders, but there was no helping the cold that had suddenly taken him over. He didn't want to talk about death anymore, or think about those that had died. He'd seen it too many times, and, though he respected the dead, he did not want to miss them anymore. They continued to haunt and hurt him, and he supposed it was retribution for all the things that he had done. So many things he could have prevented, so much good he could have done with his life.... But sometimes, Edward just wished that his past would leave him alone.
In that moment, Edward wished that he had never picked up that first alchemy book.
"Brother?" Alphonse whispered, lightly touching Edward's arm. "Are you alright?"
Edward glanced up at his brother. Ah. What was wrong with him? Edward knew that it did no good to think about the past, and this was a reason why. The past was unchangeable, and there was far too much about the present to think about, as it was. He was only making Alphonse worry now.
And so, Edward smiled, a touch of relief on his face. It was true that so many people he had known were now dead, some of them even because of him, but still... Edward was thankful for all the people who were still alive. Even if he knew that he would never be able to see some of them again - Winry was safe, and so was Mustang, and all the others in the military. And most of all, Al was safe. They'd come so far together, had experienced so much and learned so much from the world together. Edward had done everything he could to keep his brother alive, and to get him his body back. In the end, they still had each other, and that was all that mattered.
"Yeah, I'm fine Al. You don't have to worry."
After a moment, Al smiled too, though his brow was still creased lightly. He had to have understood, this was just Edward being Edward. Sometimes, it felt like the two brothers could almost just read each other's minds. "That's good," he aid with a little sigh of relief.
"So," Tsunade said, coming back into the office. (Yes, Edward had finally learned her name by now - he'd asked that guy Sasuke while she was out of the room.) She'd left for a moment to get a cup of coffee from the next room over - apparently she'd given up on the thought that she might get to go home soon. Besides, she seemed strangely fascinated by alchemy for some reason. Her eyes lit up strangely at every mention of it. "It seems that we've found... something unusual that we... sort of have in common. We know who you are now, if you are who you say you are... but we still don't really know why you're here."
The woman sat at her desk with a heavy sigh. "Earlier when you said that you couldn't really say, I let it pass. But I'm afraid I have to ask you again. Mind to tell me?" She eyes the boys mercilessly - the Hokage had a cold, commanding stare, and Alphonse, for one, was humbled when it came to such things. "Um...!" he started, but then Edward interrupted him.
"It's alright Al," he said quietly with a smile. "I'll try." His eyes hardened, as he silently turned back to the Hokage woman. Now... how was the best way to go about this? "You say that my father came here, claiming to be from another world. Tell me, Tsunade, do you believe that's true?"
She shrugged a little, but held his gaze. "How could I even guess? The man was here a hundred years ago, and that was before my time - no matter how old Naruto believes I am...." She grimaced and rubbed her temple at that, almost as if she were angry.
"What?" Edward asked, slightly confused.
"Never mind, it's nothing." She sighed again. "So. Edward. Are you standing here trying to tell me that you're from another world?"
Edward sat back in his chair and slipped his hands into his pockets, laughing lightly. "Yeah. I know how crazy it sounds, believe me. but Al and I are actually from two other worlds." Tsunade looked... somewhat dubious, but at the same time, there was an intensity in her eyes - she was interested in what he was saying, and wanted to know more. Except that this was where things got complicated. "See, there's this gate. When you die, you see it. The gate to other worlds." He shared a quick sidelong glance with his brother. "But Al and I destroyed that gate. So I really have no idea how we ended up here."
It... really made no sense at all. Edward could feel his brow creased in frustration. For he and Al to have come to another world... again.... "Al," he said seriously, turning fully to his brother. "Did we... die?"
He could tell, Alphonse was worried too. He must have been thinking the same thing. "N-no.... No. Of course we didn't die brother. We couldn't have. Not again."
Al had always been the typical younger brother. He had seen just as many horrors as Edward had, and he'd gone through nearly every experience that Edward had. And yet... Alphonse had somehow managed to keep his child-like innocence, his modesty, his honest eyes.... He was not dense, or simple, but he was type of kid you would find in an ordinary village, with an ordinary life, as a farmer, or something funny like that. Alphonse never should have been involved in this life either. Edward... never should have dragged him into it like that. Honestly, what kind of person was he - to drag his little brother down?
He was selfish; that was what he was. Edward was very, very selfish. His brother was the only one he really had left, and so he'd allowed him to follow him around across countries, and now even worlds. Everything bad that had happened to Alphonse, since the day that their mother had died, had been all Edward's fault. Yeah, he was just starting to realize that. He was finally letting it sink in - how much damage he had caused. Why was he left with such regret?
At the moment Al was in denial. He didn't want to believe that he and Edward had died again - he didn't want to think that they were going to have to learn the ways of another world, again. But Edward could see no other fitting explanation. "Alphonse, I don't understand. If we didn't die, then why are we here...? Apparently there's another gate, and it looks like we're just going to have to destroy this one too. But how did we even cross it in the first place? Do you remember it at all?"
Alphonse shook his head stubbornly, eyes shut tight for a moment. "No, brother. I don't remember seeing a gate! I mean, we... didn't die. How could we?"
"Think, Alphonse," Ed pressed. "What is the last thing you remember?"
Al shook his head again, less violently this time. "I don't want to think... if we did die, I don't want to remember it...."
Edward reached out, and touched his brother's arm lightly. "I've tired thinking about it Al, and I can't remember. Anything. So try, please." It was true. The last thing Ed remembered was walking through those trees, with Al. They'd met Sasuke, and ended up here. That was all. Where had they been before that? How had they gotten here?
Everything was quiet inside the office for a long time. Sasuke was watching them as if he were very confused, and Tsunade was leaned forward over her desk, lips pursed slightly as if she had been absorbed by their conversation. Edward paid no attention to them. He watched his brother's eyes, as they gazed down at the floor. It was so silent, Ed thought he could almost hear the sound of a clock ticking inside his head.
Suddenly, Al's eyes grew wide, and cleared. He looked up at first, and then turned his head to stare directly into Edward's face, horror clinging to his facial features. "I remember," he choked out softly. "I remember...."
Exactly one year had passed, since the day that Edward and Al had finally destroyed the gate between worlds. Exactly one whole year, since the day the two brothers' lives had been changed forever. It was not a happy day, by any means. It brought about too many painful memories - the death of the other Al; Alfons Heiderich, and of their father, and of leaving their true home behind forever....
Ed was walking the streets of town, head down, reminiscing, even more than usual. He walked like this often. It was the only way he ever really got out of that apartment he and Al shared. Sometimes, it felt like the walls were closing in on them. Sometimes, Edward just had to get out. You know, after all that he had gone through in his life, one would think that a peaceful life would be something that Edward would wish for. (Or, at least in this world, it was peaceful compared to back home). But Edward missed the excitement, the traveling, the adventure.
"Hey! Edward!" A group of guys he knew were sitting nearby, having a drink. He grinned at them, waved shortly, and walked near them. "Still living with that brother of yours?" one asked with a warm smile.
"Heh. Yeah."
"Funny how he just showed up so suddenly," another commented. "Most of us didn't even know you had a brother, 'till he showed up here. Jeez, I guess that was a while back wasn't it?"
Another laughed, and playfully punched that one on the arm. "Yeah, that was ages ago. Where've you been?"
"Haha...."
"Bet you're glad that gypsy woman's gone," another one of the guys commented with a sly grin. He took another long drink from his glass - obviously, he'd already had far too much. People usually knew that topic was pretty much taboo around Edward, even if he did know they all were thinking the same thing about it.
Silence had fallen over the little group, and all the other guys glanced nervously back and fourth between the drunk friend and Edward. "I've told you before not to talk about her that way," Ed hissed, his temper flaring dangerously. He hated having this conversation with people. "No matter who she was, Noah was still a human being."
One of the other so-called friends sighed heavily. Ed knew that man was going to say something else he didn't like. Well, good. If they were thinking it, they should say it. "Ed... she was a gypsy, a no-good thief. Then the stupid girl went and killed herself. How can you still protect her after that?"
A cold shiver ran up Edward's arm, but not from anger this time. Just bitter sadness. More bad memories.
Two months before, Edward had come home one day to find Noah in the kitchen floor of their apartment, one of their steak knives protruding from her chest. Even with Ed, Al, and Gracia for support, Noah had decided to kill herself regardless. She'd wanted... so much more from life. Had it really been Edward's fault? Could he really have given her what she wanted? She'd been unhappy for weeks, sometimes it'd made her so sick she couldn't even get out of bed. At one point, Gracia had temporarily moved in with them to take care of her. Edward had watched, standing arms crossed in Noah's bedroom doorway.
When he'd found her, that day, there had been so much blood.... He and Al were still looking for another apartment, although, they could barely afford the one they already had.
"Shut up," Edward muttered curtly, and with that, he walked away. There was no stopping people from talking that way. Their thinking was, the death of a gypsy just meant one gypsy less in the world. But to Edward.... He'd really grown attached to Noah. Before she'd become depressed, she'd been so happy and smiling all the time. She'd taken care of Edward and Al, like a mother. And she'd been warm, like a mother. She'd woken them up in the mornings, and learned how to cook from Gracia for them, and reminded them of all the little things they'd always forget. Now, she was gone forever. Just like all the other people he'd killed.
Edward walked right out of town. He did this sometimes. A few miles out, the grass was green and the trees were tall. He liked to lay there, beneath the branches, staring upward to the sky. Cars hardly passed, so it was for the most part quiet, and peaceful. Edward could think, and fret, and worry as much as he wanted, with no interruptions, and without having to worry about upsetting his brother or Gracia.
He heard the sound of a car pull up, and paid no attention, even when it slowed. Then, the car horn beeped lightly, and Ed sat up, surprised. There was his brother, sitting in the front seat and smiling at him. Alphonse gestured for him to get in. "I thought I'd find you here," the younger brother commented once Edward was close enough. Ed hopped into the passenger's seat next to him. "I figured you'd be out of the house a lot today. You're so predicable brother."
Edward laughed. "I'm not sure if I should take that as a compliment or what."
It was quiet between them for a little while, and Ed lost himself in thought again for a moment. He glanced over at his brother then to see that Alphonse was frowning, and already glancing at him. "What is it?" Edward asked.
Al grimaced. "I've been thinking, brother. You've been acting... strange lately. You're always frowning, and you can't sit still.... You hardly come back to the apartment, even for supper." He paused, eyes on the road.
"What's your point?" Ed asked quietly.
"...Well, it just seems like... you're always thinking about bad things. Unhappy things. You don't ever smile anymore. I'm worried about you. If you think about it too much... you might...." Alphonse bit his lip, worry swimming in his unfocused eyes.
Oh. Edward got it now. With a gentle smile, Ed reached out to lightly ruffle his younger brother's hair. "Don't worry about it Alphonse," he told him quietly. "What happened to Noah... won't happen to me. I promise."
They were in town now. Some people waved as they drove past, and the two brothers waved back. "Brother," Al finally spoke again. "I'm glad that you-"
"Al, watch out!"
Really, it was like it was bound to happen. They were in town, driving too fast, lost in conversation. Neither of them had really been paying any attention to where they were going. They were almost back to the apartment already, and a small cat had run out into the road in front of them. Edward's heart wouldn't have pounded like that - had Gracie not run into the road to save the animal. Al, acting on impulse, swerved sharply and suddenly to the right. The side of the car clipped the woman, their friend, and knocked her to the ground. Edward caught only a short glimpse of the brick wall before the car crashed into it. The last thing he felt was the sensation of flying forward out of his seat.
