Wow thanks for your reviews, I will try not to disappoint you all. This next chapter is a little slower in pace to the others, but it's necessary for the full effect. Hope you like this chapter, I'm not used to writing recovery yet hehe. oh yeah i have no medical knowelege what so ever so what i say may be wrong.
Chapter 7- Recovery?
Beep…Beep…Beep…
The heart monitor beeped painfully slow, it was the only sound in the silent room that held his best agent. Tony had been hooked up a few machines, monitoring his life signs. The doctors had said that most of the physical injuries were mostly superficial, the beatings he had taken were painful, but not life threatening. The thing that had the Doctors worried was the drugs he had been given, he had been given ketamine, most likely to keep him subdued and make him hallucinate. Gibbs sat and seethed; knowing that all he could do was wait and see if the drug would metabolise. The doctors were concerned that it didn't seem to be going as quick as it should, though Tony had been given a massive dose.
It was late now, Tony had been in the same room, the same state since they brought him in about two days ago; the team had been and gone a few times. What got to him most was the fact that Tony didn't even react to Abby. He cast his thoughts back to the particular scene on the first night…
x-X-x
Abby rushed towards Tony's bed, there was only two people allowed in at a time, Gibbs went in with Abby just in case she needed someone to be there.
"TONY!" she squealed, her usual happiness beginning to return. She couldn't help but be happy that Tony was back. Wasn't he? She went to hug him where he lay but stopped, tears escaped her eyes. Gibbs noticed this and stepped forwards embracing her, wanting to know why she was suddenly so sad. Before he could ask she spoke, almost chocking on her tears.
"Gibbs… what's wrong with him… is he going to be ok…he has to be ok… it's Tony…" he looked towards his agent, to see what was causing Abby such pain. He inhaled sharply at the sight.
Tony's eyes were open, the green was no longer sparking with mischief, if anything they were dull, lifeless, if it wasn't for the heart monitor steadily beating, he wouldn't even think Tony was alive.
They had been told this was normal in cases like these, catatonia it was called. The best way to explain it was, it was as if the person was in a coma but awake, unresponsiveness to anything around them was another sign, it could be caused by emotional trauma or trauma of other kinds. They had been told to prepare themselves, but they were still shocked to see it them selves. Tony was never still, never quiet, never unresponsive, in fact, he thrived when with people.
They both wondered what he was actually seeing, was he seeing what had been done to him? Was he seeing anything at all?
"It'll be ok Abby, the doctor said it should only be temporary" he chose his words wisely, he didn't want to give her false hope. She had been too distracted by wanting to see Tony to listen to the Doctors when they came out.
They had also said that he may never snap out of it however, they were hopeful that he would, it could have been caused by the drug he was given, it wasn't fully out of his system. They hadn't been able to give him anything for the pain because of it; this was also why they couldn't try the drug to relieve the catatonic state, the doctors were also worried about possible withdrawal, Tony had been given a lot of the drug in Swain's final act. This had sparked a very hot tempered Gibbs to shout at the paramedics in the ambulance. He knew they were right, he just didn't want to see Tony it pain.
He promised Abby that he would keep Tony safe and ushered her out of the sterile room. Tears building in her eyes at having to leave, so he promised that she could come back in the morning and that he was staying all night. The others' visits had gone by with less outward emotion, but he knew that they were feeling what he and Abby were.
x-X-x
Tony couldn't see the hospital room he was in, couldn't hear the soft mumbles of his friends' conversations. The darkness bound him, restricted him, hurt him, and tore at his soul, his character. He was cold, so cold and numb; the dark wouldn't release him. It dragged him back down when he fought, he wanted, needed this to end, to be over, he couldn't fight any longer. He was so tired, tired of fighting. Why did he fight anyway, he had nothing, no one, they blamed him, hated him. He had nothing to go back to, nothing to hold on to. No one to miss him, to care, the voice had said so, he believed it. It was true, wasn't it? The voice is all he could remember, the pain it spoke, the truth, but how did it know all the things he knew, all the things that were kept secret within NCIS. How? If he did get out of here would he be safe? Would the people he cared for be safe? Even if they didn't care for him.
In his darkness he could see a light; the light was good, wasn't it? If he went, he would be safe, cared for wouldn't he? He tried to move towards it, he struggled to get himself moving, stopped having only moved backwards, and tried again with the same effect. The light was calling him, but it was so much easier to drift to the darkness, less of a struggle. Safety only caused pain, unrelenting pain, he couldn't go there again. His strength failed and he was brought closer to the abyss. There he froze in his own failures, reliving what he had done, who he hadn't protected, remembering all his torture. Was this it? Was this the end? Was this his judgement? The darkness was all consuming, he didn't want to give up, but had no strength to fight.
x-X-x
Beep………Beep………Beep………
Tony's eyes closed, the monitor slowed, causing alarms to wail. Gibbs jumped out of his chair and almost ran to get a doctor when one came in followed by nurses. That had been the most movement Tony had made since being here, was it a good sign? They checked all the monitors surrounding Tony, carefully moving wires, taking vitals. Their motions fluid and practiced, he stood fearfully noting the looks they gave each other. He couldn't stand it any longer. Fear and anger bubbled, anger at not getting answers, fear at not knowing any answers.
"What's happening?" his voice wavered, well there was no on there to hear it, he wouldn't of cared even if they were at this point, he was scared that he was loosing his friend. Tony was like a Son to him, he did care even if he didn't show it, and recently he hadn't shown anything except harsh words. He hoped that he could fix it, before it was too late.
His question was ignored by the doctor, the monitor alarm silenced and the rush was over. Gibbs hoped it wouldn't be bad news. He couldn't loose Tony, not now they had finally got him back. The doctor turned to him, his face the same as it was that first time. He could tell the doctor was struggling to find the words to deliver the bad news. Gibbs' heart sank, he couldn't, oh god no, Tony couldn't die, Gibbs wouldn't let him.
"Agent Gibbs, I'm afraid that while the drugs have now left his system, his vitals are deceasing, it's like he isn't fighting, maybe, you should call his family, he doesn't have much longer if he continues this way." The doctor took in the look on Gibbs face and inwardly sighed, he could tell that Gibbs wasn't just Tony's boss; Gibbs cared deeply for his agent. "Now, if your agent is willing to fight he should make a full recovery, we have pushed some drugs so the catatonia should start to lift. If it does not, then his body will shut down from exhaustion." There was no harm in giving Gibbs some hope for his agent.
Gibbs was struggling to keep his composure, Tony give up; give up wasn't even in DiNozzo's vocabulary. What the hell was done to him? Gibbs had to make him fight, but how. He barely noticed when the doctor left; he walked up to Tony, remembering what had happened the last time, that time Tony had panicked. It was all he could do though.
He noted that Tony looked small and fragile on the hospital bed, so still, so lost. His skin only a shade darker than the while hospital sheets, he wanted to reassure Tony, tell him he was sorry for how he had treated him. He reached out to touch Tony, minding the wires and IV now in his arm. No response, just stillness, his skin was like icy, it chilled Gibbs' soul, the emptiness Tony's death would create was unbearable, for everyone, but especially Abby, Tony was like a brother to her. He moved his won head next to Tony's ears, purposely not looking at his face, not wanted to see the eyes closed, now that they were closed there was even less sign of life. The monitor still beeped, proving he was still alive for now. The words Gibbs spoke were forceful, but not in any way intimidating. It was only a few words, for he was a man of little words.
"Fight it Tony, we need you." He hoped that this would be enough; Gibbs shuffled out of the room for a moment to call and update the team on Tony's condition. This would be a hard phone call he thought warily.
Again when he was seated in the chair of Tony's room he could hear the steady beating of the monitor. Just as painfully slow, had his words been enough…
Beep………Beep………Beep………
TBC
Hope you all like this chapter, what will happen in the next, will Tony fight. I hope I didn't have Gibbs too out of character.
