October 3
It has now been 3 days, 3 hours, and 50 seconds since the horrible incident and I must say I have done quite a good job of avoiding Black. Oh, the cleverness of me! And it is no easy task, either. For you see, we are not only in the same house but also in some of the same classes. Luckily, I know he wakes up late and can wake up just a bit earlier to eat and be out of the Great Hall before he even enters. Note: it's not considered stalker-ish information if you use it to avoid rather then follow. Also, I have come into the custom of sitting down in the first empty seat in my classes so I do not run the risk of sitting near him. So far I have only been jinxed once from this plan and I got the girl back. How was I to know it was her boyfriend? Apparently she thought I was flirting with the ugly bloke. My bar isn't too high, but it's far higher than him, I assure you. Can't a girl avoid a boy in peace?
Megan, who is sitting next to me, has paused in her moans and complaints about Divination homework (because we wanted an 'easy' class for N.E.W.T.s) to mention that Black has been looking disgruntled. I will humor her and ask her how so. She has replied that she heard, (and you can count on the things Megan hears to be as truthful as gossip can get), that he has been trying to talk to me for the past three days, four hours, and now, one minute. Well, I guess you can't ALWAYS get truthful gossip. I think what he is probably trying to do is catch me to taunt me. Yes, yes. Now, for your entertainment, diary, my scenario of the confrontation, in the style it will best be represented in: soap opera.
I walk down the hallway; close to tears from the stress that avoiding Black causes me. All of a sudden, from the shadows comes an evil snicker. *dun dun duuunnn* "Snape." he hisses, stepping out and twisting his waxed mustache. "Black" I gasp, looking around for an exit. "You can't escape," he sneers, grabbing my wrists as I try to turn and run. "Get away from me," I moan softly, tears appearing in my eyes (I'm scared. duh). "I can't do that, Snape. Now that I know you think I'm," he smirks an evil smirk and tilts his head mockingly, making his absurdly tall top hat lean to the side. "Dashing." His face is close to mine now and I'm shrinking away.
Well then I'd probably gag all over him and he'd mention something about paying rent and how he's been seeing my twin sister's aunt, and is really an alien from outer space who is with my brothers child. Megan is laughing as I cringe. But that's how it would go, I'm sure. Positive actually. Oh dear, here comes the alien with child now. I better go, I think I have lessons now....no? Megan says I haven't any. Megan, don't you know I have just realized that avoiding Black will make October far better than September?
I'll find some lessons to do...maybe Slughorn is teaching some 4th years now... I could practice my 4th year potions. It's a plan.
October 5
Ah, the cleverness of me has failed. I suppose I could only avoid the boy for so long. But, my, does he know how to pick his timing! I was exiting the Great Hall, clean and jam-less, when I ran into the bane of my existence. No, not Black. Malfoy. I had been so concentrated on avoiding the taunting waxed mustached alien that I had forgotten about the true enemy. Ratboy. If only my super suit wasn't at the cleaners. Well, my lucklessness did not end there, for behind him stepped his dearest lover and my dearest friend Bethany Knott. The only thing to make this better would be if the Dark Lord himself stepped out and declared that I was to marry him, pronto. Every Dark Lord, after all, needs a Dark Queen with an excellent evil cackle. Malfoy began to taunt in his drawling rat voice as Bethany giggled and cooed that he was so clever to find out I was "smitten" with Black. Honestly. Smitten? The poor boy is sick with a terribly long lasting fever and this is why our feuding has ceased momentarily. As soon as he is well, he will be back to his pranking ways, and I can go back to despising him once more without guilt. I'm sure I will promptly forget how dashing he is in his uniform, which I really must stop thinking about (though it does help me get through Divination). Anyway, it was getting quite intense when all of a sudden I felt a tug on my arm and I was pulled into a portrait that stood behind me. It makes you wonder if he often hides in portraits. And then it makes you ask yourself how safe that makes you feel. Personally, it makes me feel as safe as living next door to the dark lord. Well, I sputtered for a moment, shocked and confused, as any sensible person is when pulled by a stranger into a dark area until he whispered "lumos." Low and behold, there before me stood my anti-knight in dull armor who had now been my knight in shining armor twice. Black sure knows how to confuse a girl.
He did not seem too happy to see me, which made me more comfortable. His being quiet and kind really does do a number on me. My confusion has no end. But at least when he's aloof I know where we stand. Though in this case, we weren't standing for it was a very small hole we were in. He muttered for me to follow him, or that he had a gecko in his grin, but I think it was the first. So I did what every mother tells their children not to do, and followed the hormonal teenage boy deeper into the tunnel. We crawled for a very long time, all the time me realizing that my knees were getting very dirty and my hair mussing up. I sighed and commented on this once, more to myself then anyone else, and I do believe he snickered at me. Insulting to even a troll like myself. Thinking this I mentioned to myself that I needed to study for Transfiguration and I needed to find a tutor. I wonder now if he thought I was going crazy and regretted not listening to his mother's lecture on never going into dark tunnels with crazy hormonal girls. He paused and I ran into his backside. Though Megan would squeal, it is not pleasant to do when you are not expecting it. "I could help you," he offered and I'm sure he had a calculating grin on his face, though his backside didn't show it (which is good because I don't even want to begin to imagine what a grin of any kind would look like on a backside). Not that I was looking at his backside. Can't even get away with saying things offhand like to my diary! "Well-er," I began imagining what I could say to refuse putting myself in such an awkward and prank worthy position. But of course, trolls are not known for their quick wit and so I could only come up with "I'd have to ask McGonagall." To this I could tell he laughed at me as he replied "all right, we will" and turned to lead me to the light at the end of the tunnel, which turned out to be, coincidentally, in McGonagall's office.
Just because I'm paranoid, diary, doesn't mean he's not really out to get me. I feel that all of this could have been avoided if only my scathing look was up to the skill of my brother's, for no one wishes to tutor a scathing troll who spills jam on her lap. Black is obviously up to something tricky and I can't say I like the way the toast is cooking so far.
October 6
Megan has decided that Black and I are meant to be. I don't know what that has to do with the dilemma that faces me, but she has decided to tell me this over our tea cups full of soggy leaves we are suppose to be reading. Who needs to see the grim in their cup with friends like Megan. I don't know what our divination teacher is talking about, these tea leaves look like a bunch of tea leaves all stuck in mounds. Actually, if anything, they look like some tea creature ate and then left it's tea waste behind. Megan says that I'm being gross. I say that it's no grosser then her suggestion. Well, now she says my tea says I will snog Sirius Black in a closet by the end of the year. I think those Slytherin cooties are really starting to get to her. Eating her brain and turning her against her dearest friend Lela (that's me, diary).
She is now very serious and says that she has heard something that the tea leave monster who left it's waste behind for us to read didn't know (ew, that is gross). And you can usually trust Megan's gossip to be as truthful as gossip can be. According to the rumor mill that is often overheard in the girl's laboratory, Patil knows that Black is going to tutor me in Transfiguration and is not too pleased. As if I'm pleased about it. Megan says that she and a few of her cronies are planning on how to break up that, apparently they fear that I will bewitch him with potions made by my brother and I under the full moon. Double double toil and trouble, honestly. And I usually think my scenarios are absurd. If anything wins Black over, it will be my sexy cackle and inability to eat food properly in the early morning. Nothing is more alluring then absurdly messy hair and dirty knees. And if they come with a protective brother who hates your swooner, who can resist? Maybe Patil should get her head checked.
October 8
Funny story,diary. Not funny in the 'well that tickles my funny bone' way, but funny in the 'haha, I knew this would happen. Sirius Black is a prick, lets laugh to make me feel less stupid for even a nanosecond believing that maybe he would tutor me' kind of funny. It's actually not a very funny sort of funny. Repetitive, I know. Anyway, yesterday was the day Black was to tutor me in transfiguration, so I went to the library where he told me to be and went all the way to the back where the table was. I sat there for four hours until Madam Pince kicked me out because she had to close. I just sat there, feeling stupid, because he had told me not to bring my book, only a wand. He didn't even have the curdisy to send an owl, who would shit on my shoulder, with a note explaining that he was off snogging a girl tonight, perhaps tomorrow would work better. Insulting. After that, I ran into Lily Evans who is average in Transfiguration as well and had come to work on her homework. We had a long talk on the stupidity of boys and I actually find that I like her very much. When we entered the common room she didn't march off to Patil, but instead asked if maybe we should help one another since my tutor bailed on me. I agreed (warning of my trollness) and we sat by the fire until very late doing our transfiguration and giggling. It was a new experience, I have never giggled with anyone other then Megan. I feel suddenly as if I've cheated on her! Turns out, Lily Evans has far more personality then a friendship with Patil would imply. So not everything that happened last night was bad, I did make a new friend.
Course, that leads to a new 'haha, so not funny' funny moment. That occurred when I walked into potions, seeing Lily waving at me to sit by her and Megan (who looked very unsure about this new arrangement as every Slytherin was shooting her a glare), and as I approached, my dearest brother pulled me down into the seat next to him. I gave Megan and Lily an 'I'm sorry it seems my brother is in dire need of medical help but has turned to me instead' look. I think Megan got it, but Lily was confused, so I think Megan explained that my looks often hold complete paragraphs, once a paragraph that would have filled two scrolls. I'm just an expressive person. As it turned out, my look should have included a 'but he can just sod off as I have decided he should not be my brother, please save me.' But it didn't include that, so my old friend and my new friend had no idea that I was about to be tortured by my so called brother.
Yes, tortured, diary. For we had no sooner begun to chop and slice then he looked me straight in the eye and said, "Lela, I am your older brother, and therefore I must protect you." Oh for pitiesake, older by three minutes! How can he find so many different ways to hang 3 measly minutes over my delicate head? It is an art, I'm sure. Then he continued, "so, I must tell you that I am discomforted by a rumor I have heard recently." He paused to put some slugs into the cauldron, which coughed loudly and spit out some specks of purple liquid, that I artfully dodged. Some protection my brother is, trying to get me with purple specks. He wrote something in his textbook and continued. " I heard that Black is tutoring you in Transfiguration. Personally, Lela, I don't think I approve. He will only distract you." I smiled at him, because he cannot resist my sisterly smile. "Well, lucky for you, Sevvy," I replied happily watching him smirk (yes, I get smirks, no expressionless faces. I am his quirky sister and I get emotions), "you need not worry because yesterday was to be the first session and he did not show up, so, no more tutoring. I think Lily Evans will help me. She is clever." He nodded as if satisfied and I beamed, though I must say admitting Black ditched me felt very pathetic. It was, however, the lesser of the two not so funny things, as this one turned out nicely.
October 13
Today, I decided to surprise my dearest brother and hid in the tree that we were to meet under for lunch. It's funny what you learn while sitting in a tree. Before Severus came, a different visitor came. Remus Lupin looked straight up into the branches and smiled at me. "Hello Lela, what are you up to?" Well, I couldn't exactly say I was pretending to be a squirrel, just to get the feel for it, so I told him the truth and he smiled, saying he was meeting Potter and Black under this tree, but he'd move them away afterwards. Such a nice boy. Unfortunately, Potter and Black arrived just as my brother did and there was a mild stare off. The dialogue was terribly lacking in background music, but if there was some, I'm sure it would have been very intense.
Sevvy: Potter, Black, Lupin, your standing under the tree I need to meet Lela under.
Black: Last time I checked this campus was free. Why should we move for a reason like that?
Potter: What does a girl like Lela want to do with you?
Sevvy: She's my sister for one. Though I don't see why I should waste any oxygen explaining anything to you prats.
Black: Well, maybe I want to wait for Lela as well. I do have to explain the tutoring incident to her after all. I mean, I was walking up to the library and Patil practically corners me-
Sevvy (quite angry on my behalf, how sweet of him.): I do not wish to hear the snog story that I'm sure is about to begin and neither does my sister. If you come near Lela in any way, including tutoring, I will uphold that threat I gave you on the train.
(That explains the whispering my chocolate frogs heard before their tragic deaths on the train.)
Black: Threatening me? *Pulls out wand*
Sevvy: Yes I am, Black. *Pulls out wand*
Lupin: Come on Padfoot, you don't want to do this now. You're already on Lela's bad side for forgetting to tell her about your detention with McGonagol and then getting cornered by Patil and her friends. *He looked up at me so quickly that I think I imagined it. Was that Remus trying to explain for Black?*
Then Remus moved them away and I jumped down to scare the shit out of Sevvy. It was quite funny and he was quite mad. I ended up in the lake, but I pulled him in, so it was even. He was quite frustrated with me, but deep down I know he thought it was as funny as I did. Funny how both Sevvy and Black know that Black is simply waiting to pounce his prank on me, yet they talk as if he planned to date me. Ew! Cooties of the worst kind! Remus has just come over to help me because I apparently look very puzzled with this Arithmacy problem. Yeah for Remus!
October 15
McGonagall came over to me at breakfast just after I had missed my mouth with oatmeal (seriously, do they wait until I'm about to embarrass myself to strike?) to tell me that if I don't get a tutor soon, I'll be kicked out of Transfiguration. She has a strict no more then ten Ts rule, and I'm on my 8th. I am too trollish to handle. This depresses me so much that I will spend the whole of this Saturday dancing to Elvis in the common room while the rest of Gryffindor house is off doing sociable things. Lily has just volunteered to dance with me. Well, stupidity loves company. I'm not sure she is trollish enough, but I shall let her dance with me, we trolls are so kind.
October 17
Halloween is coming up and it seems that Patil is going to have a party in the Gryffindor common room. All Gryffindors are invited, including me (by default, as I am a Gryffindor. Something Patil was not too happy to realize). It's a masquerade, but really everyone is going simply because it will have fire whiskey beyond any leprechaun's dreams. I told Megan and she said it was perfect, that Black would come as prince charming and I'd go as Cinderella and we would kiss and not know who the other was but know that we loved the kisser. I laughed in my dearest friends face, and I mean I laughed in her face in the most well mannered way. We trolls are very well behaved, except around fire whiskey. Oh dear, imagine Black drunk. Boys, hide your Gryffindor girlfriends, the wolfman is on the move. Aaarrrroooooo. Oops, I've just howled aloud and the whole charms class is looking at me as if I'm crazy. I'll just look to my right as if that person did it.
Bingo. Works every time. Poor Peter Pettigrew, just a shrimp of a victim in my master plan to rule the world. Now there are some good ambitions. I should get ambitions like that. I wonder if I can buy that with my butterbeer at Hogsmeade before the party.
October 19
I really thought we were over this, diary. This whole Black being nice to Lela thing. I really was getting comfortable in his new method of annoyance: avoiding me. I think he took my brother's threats seriously, or at least felt embarrassed to have missed his chance to prank me. But alas, he has decided that I was too happy with his avoidance and has instead decided to bother me at meals. I learned my lesson about waking up early, if you miss Black, you get Malfoy. So I started waking up just a bit later, but today I was woken earlier than usual, making me just in time for the lovely browned toast and yummy bacon that isn't too greasy due to the other bacon passing their grease down to it. Those poor bottom plate bacons always get the raw end of the deal.
Since I was just on time there were many people in the hall (including Black), and since there were many people, there were few seats and unfortunately only one seat was free. Next to Lily (yeah me!) across from Black (boo!). So I debated about leaving without breakfast, but my stomach (like many of my rebellious body parts who really only think about themselves, how very selfish of them) rebelled and growled, so I had to sit and eat. I piled my plate with toast and eggs and bacon and was pleased to realize I was awake enough to make it into my mouth and I was actually enjoying myself, since Lily was rambling about Hogsmeade and Black was distracted. But then my pile of food shrunk and what was a shield between me and Black was now only small scraps. Shield gone, he could see me. I thought if I stayed very still and quiet, like a statue listening to Lily, he would not see me. Like they say you should do with a Hippogriff. Unfortunately, like a hippogriff who likes you, he spoke first.
"Morning, Snape," Then he sort of grunted, which I think was from him hitting his knee on the table or being kicked. I hope it was my foot that kicked him if he was kicked. That would be lovely. I don't think it was, though, because Remus gave him a sharp look. Why must you take the fun out of life for me Remus? Thinking this meant he would not talk again I shrugged and replied "Hi." Unfortunately, that was like feeding a monkey, and he just came back for more. "So, LELA, any plans this weekend, LELA?" That's right, he was not just using my first name, but was emphasizing it as if I should pay special attention to it. Perhaps he hoped I'd notice he knew it, but can he spell it? I doubt it. Poor bloke, almost got a gold star, but will have to live with a bronze one. "Um, not much," I replied. "Transfiguration I suppose." It's dreary work being a troll. "Well, LELA, that sounds like fun, LELA." I gave him a look that said he was a complete twit if he honestly thought that it would be fun to troll my way through Transfiguration ( I told you, diary, my looks are very expressive). He changed his mind saying "Well, actually, LELA, that sounds dull. LELA, can I interest you, LELA, in maybe a Quidditch match, LELA, with us marauders?" Well, diary, I was thrown into a loop on this one. Is it stranger for Black to be saying my name with exaggerated emphasis or for him to be inviting me to play Quidditch? I think I've run into one of life's quandaries. The 'what came first, the chicken or the egg' question has nothing on this one. "Well, I don't actually plan my weekends so far in advance. I have a terrible disease called procrastinationitis and it makes me go into very dangerous spasms if I plan anything more then two days in advance. Sorry." In Lela, that means no. It means, I'm sorry, but I'll have to decline. It means you can stop emphasizing my name, because I will not be tricked into your prank, whatever it is. He wasn't the least bit fluent in Lela. "LELA, is that a maybe, LELA?" he asked, and I hate to admit that he seemed rather excited. Excited to prank me! "It means maybe maybe," I snapped, now done with my breakfast and ready to run for the hills.
Lily was simply waiting for me to finish for Potter had been offering the same to her, which she declined by saying she didn't fly. Smart. Not a trollish answer at all. Maybe her smart will rub off on me. I asked her if I could buy some of her smart from her for next time Black annoyed me, and she laughed. Smart people never want to share with Trolls.
October 21
Megan is convinced that Black was asking me out. I told her that was simply the cruel Slytherin talking for her. Those cooties must truly be getting to her. She said that his emphasis on my name was to show he knew it and that we weren't enemies. She said he probably hoped we'd be *groan* friends. Me? With Sirius Black? As if. Lily Evans is more likely to snog James Potter senseless than I am likely to be friends with Black. I stated this and my non-trollish new friend hit me with a wad of paper. Apparently she is as sensitive to comments about her and Potter snogging as I am to any suggestion of a relationship with Black other then one of intense hate. So alike, and yet, so different.
October 23
Avoiding is an art. Lily has said to me 302 times that I am being as cowardly as a Hufflepuff. But that makes no difference. My day of avoidance has gone very well, so I am not deterred from doing it again tomorrow. I ran into Bethany in the hall and accidently-on-purpose knocked her ink onto her cloak. Do not judge me, diary. If you had heard how she was boasting about her cloak to that group of girls, you would have dumped more then ink on her. But I, diary, am a great humanitarian, and so I only knocked ink. And really, it wasn't my fault, because I saw Black coming towards me and panicked, knocking the ink all over her. Mind you, I wasn't too shocked to see Black, as he's in nearly all of my classes, but that is besides the point of the great humanitarian known as Lela Snape. Well, Bethany was not very happy at all. Knott was not. Haha, I made a funny. A humanitarian with a sense of humor, I continue to amaze myself. Note to self: reward Lela with extra toast and the yummy strawberry jam next breakfast. Luckily I scampered out of the room to avoid Black after the ink incident, so all was well. And I really did scamper. Talented.
Later, I took my broom out for a fly. All around the Quidditch pitch and did some loopy loops that Severus hates to watch. He thinks I will crack my head open, which would be terribly bloody. But great humanitarians never spill blood, for it is terribly hard to get out of tile, wood, and especially grass. And if it's hard to get out, it's just not nice or humanitarian like to spill it. I decided to race around the pitch, around and around and around until the world was spinning and I nearly did fall off my broom. But I am so nimble and quick that I caught myself. More toast for Lela! Then I flew over towards the forrest.
It's a fascinating place, full of eery noises and strange smells. I decided I wanted to walk in, as no one was around, but I hadn't gotten more then a few feet in when I met a very, very big black dog. This was a grim worthy dog. It stared at me as if I was frightening it, and I felt so bad that I stepped forward and cooed. Yes, cooed. I could hear Severus twitching with annoyance as I did it. "Hewo wittle doggy. Aren't you a handsome wittle thing. Well, not wittle, weally the opposite of wittle, but who ever cooed about a big dog?" I cooed. The dog just stared at me and I approached, putting my hand out for him to smell (or bite) and realize I was friendly (or food). He decided on the formers (thank goodness, because blood stains dirt and my blood, I imagine, is terribly hard to wash away. It seems that it would be very stubborn to not be removed, much like it's owner), and approached, wagging his tail in the cutest way. I could barely stand it and I have to say, when I petted him and he yipped happily, I giggled. I never giggle. Making me giggle is harder then prying chocolate from my hands. But that not so wittle doggy did it!
After a bit of petting, it looked over it's shoulder as if hearing something and I looked to, I mean if it's a unicorn, I want to see and if it's a vampire, well then I definitely want to know to run. It wasn't anything and as I was distracted, the doggy took the chance to ambush me and not only knocked me down but had soon made my face wet with doggy drool. Yes, diary, ew is an understatement. Except that when I squealed and told him it was disgusting thing to do, it simply barked as if to laugh at me. What a michevious not so little thing! I decided that I would name it and told it so, saying I would think of a name and come back soon. It barked and pranced off, as if it were very proud of making my face so slobbery. I hope my makeup tasted as horrible as my face feels now.
October 25
Avoiding plan was ruined today. Megan asked me why I was avoiding Black and I realized I had no idea. I think it had something to do with Megan saying he was smitten with me, but I decided to forget it. It takes a lot of work anyway as he has a knack for popping out of nowhere. Funny enough, he was in hospital wing today, so it didn't matter anyway.
October 27
I remember why I was avoiding Black, he was kind enough to remind me. He is still playing at this nice guy thing. Really, it's not fooling anyone. Megan and I were waiting for Lily outside of potions and Black smiled at us, making Megan freak out as she usually does and instead of running off, pushed me in front of her as a shield. Unfortunately (and perhaps the poor girl didn't realize this) but she sacrificed me and when I turned around, she was gone. "LELA," he said. He was still doing that emphasis thing. "You going to Patil's party on Halloween?" I replied that, yes, I was. why did he ask? I was very distant, looking for Lily, my knightess in shinnying armor to save me, but alas, she could not be found. The smart are so unreliable at times. "Well, LELA, do you have your costume yet?" At least he wasn't putting it at the beginning and end of every sentence anymore. "No, was she serious about costumes?" I honestly didn't think she was. I mean, I thought she just said it to give a theme. I guess that it was a bit dense to think. I accidentally said this aloud and Black grinned at me. "Well then, LELA, do you want to come help me find mine?" Then, just as I was thinking of an answer that would be untrollish, he quickly added "it's not a date or anything, LELA, it's just that I need a girls opinion so I can impress the hostess and, well, your a girl right?" Rule one, Black, never ask a girl to confirm she's a girl. Just as I was about to give a detailed report on why this is rule number 1, he gave me a look of desperation and I found myself saying "well-herm..." Apparently in crazy prat (which Black is fluent in) that means yes, I'd love to. So I agreed to do something in a language I did not even know existed. He walked quickly away after that and I couldn't say no again (I think it's something like "snum...greegoo..." in crazy prat). I have not heard the end of it from Megan and Lily, who conveniently appeared after the crazy prat left. Traitorous friends and traitorous mouth, why must you mock me?!
October 29
Megan and Lily are convinced I am attending a date to Hogsmeade and are pretending to be very putout. They keep trying to push Black and I together. I pointed out that Black and I getting together for a date was as likely as Lily kissing Potter, and Lily mellowed on the taunting front, but Megan is still going full force. My friend is a terrible person and I blame the Slytherin house. Meanwhile, I have just hissed to them that it is NOT a date, I am helping him impress Patil. I think Patil has overheard this, for she is very snooty and proud today. Yes, Patil, be proud. Perhaps I'll convince him to buy a chicken suit to match your peacock one. Smelly birds of a feather flock together, smelly-like. Megan says that I have killed the English language with that saying and must now go do something to get its forgivingness. Lily suggests reading Shakespeare to the squid. I suggest they jump in the lake.
October 31
I am pausing in my getting ready for Patil's party to write about my day at Hogsmeade with my mortal enemy. Oddly enough, and I dare say, diary, I would poke my eyes out if this were repeated, Black was very gentlemanly and funny. Yes, funny. I- dare I admit it? I don't know if I want to. Deep breathe Lela, it's alright to admit a fluke in the system. I laughed! Not at him, but with him. This sort of unity is very strange.
We met in the entrance hall and he was very quiet, abnormally quiet. Quiet enough for me to worry. In fact, he laughed at me as we got into the carriage with Megan and Lily, as I was being paranoid and looking around suspiciously. Remus told me to relax and Lily agreed, though she was distracted by her efforts to ignore Potter. Megan seemed very out of place and uncomfortable, though Remus was very kind. He actually made her blush. Rarer then a giggle from Lela Snape! Then when we got to Hogsmeade, Black lead me into a costume shop I had never noticed before (I swear Hogsmeade has wiretaps in the school to know just what we students need). He picked out a lot of costumes and told me to pick some out too. He wanted to do a compare and contrast thing, or something. So I halfheartedly grabbed a Marylin Monroe costume and walked into the changing room. When we both came out, he was dressed like Sherlock Holmes. He walked around the store as if looking for clues and actually called the store manager Watson, making the poor chap terribly confused. Then he came out as a turtle, and a chicken. Yes, without my suggestion, diary. I was nearly crying with laughter as he strutted around the store and then asked if he could test it outside and strutted right up to a Ravenclaw girl and asked her opinion. A very charming chicken. After a bit, he didn't come out and I told him he should so I could see his new costume, but he refused and so when he came out in normal clothes I tried to peak, but he was being very secretive. He sent me out of the store and I had to wait outside, working on my pout (which is much better then my wanna be scathing look and glare). Good enough that when he came out I gave it to him and he swayed, opening the bag a bit. When I was just about to see inside, he closed it and strutted off, expecting me to follow. Well, if he was going to be secretive, so would I. I told him to bugger off while I bought mine and he gave me a pout.
He obviously expected me to be swayed by it, but I was not. We trolls rarely are, at least not by rich teenage boys who are acting very unlike their normal selves. So he told me he'd meet me at the three broomsticks and walked off, but I saw him peaking through the window as I looked through the costumes perplexed. I got the manager to shoo him away, saying he was a pickpocket who had been following me. Then I found the best costume ever! Yes, diary, ever. In the history of costumes. It was a pirate princess. It's brilliant. It has an eye patch and skirt with holes and leather and boots. I look so dashing that I could hardly tell it was me in the mirror. It definitely made me feel better about being a Troll (which reminds me, I need to study for my transfiguration test on the 5th). In fact, I looked like the sexiest pirate troll that ever was. I was a piroll (that's pirate and troll) who was much hotter then any hybrid of that nature should be. So I bought it and headed towards the three broomsticks. However, halfway there, I ran into Severus who insisted we go in together. I tried to explain I was meeting someone, but he declared he knew and as we entered I saw him shoot Black a very dirty, dirty look. Black made a move to stand, as if he were ready to resort back to his pratness, but Remus (bless his soul) pulled him down and shook his head. Lily and Megan sat with them laughing with the marauders. Wait? Lily was laughing with the marauders...and talking to Potter. The apocalypse must be coming! Must get ready for party. Will write later about the adventures of Lela Snape, sexiest piroll that ever lived.
