November 1

Sickness, ooh, sickness, how blue you make me, oh sickness! Ouch, even just singing that in my head makes it throb. I'm debating on whether this is from all the fire whiskey or from an actual virus, but then I recall that, HA! I did not have enough fire whiskey to forget my name last night, so it must be the latter. Well, no worries, it gives me all day to catch you up on the happenings of Patil's party, diary. First of all, everyone came dressed up. I mean, it's not like it was a big walk from the dorms to the common room, but still. You have to wonder why Gryffindors are so weird when everyone really does show up to get drunk in costume. Funny, though, how the angel Patil was dressed as got far drunker then Lela the Pirate. What will the other pirates say? I shall be kicked out of their club for sure. Damn, and before I get that spiffy jacket too. Oh well, I shall start my own club and our jackets shall be far superior. But I'm getting off topic. Lucky for the pirate society, another pirate was present and held up their traditions of drinking themselves into a stupor. I dare say, Sirius Black was a terribly dashing Pirate, with a huge hat (to fit his big head I'm sure) and boots that would make even the scariest pirate weak in the knees.

When I arrived, I noticed the furniture had been moved and people where already dancing, so I scooted my way over to Lily, who had a half disgruntled look at the fire whiskey. It was scary enough to keep anyone under 5th year away from , I told her to relax because she was really ruining her face making it all scrunched up and worried like that. She just looked at me for a moment and then smirked one of those 'ha ha, this is beyond funny' smirks. Cinderella (which is who she was) should not look like that. Before I could point out that Cinderella had a heart of gold so would not smirk like Lily was, she said " so not only did you go on a date with him, but now you're matching? How cute." I must have looked very confused for she took pity on me and paused in her death glare protection of the fire whiskey. This allowed a very wobbily (for petessake, it was only 7:30, too. How long had he been drinking?!) Sirius Black to approach, smiling at us in a goofy manner. "Great minds think alike," he grinned, before whistling at me. I blushed, annoyed, and told him that I had wanted to be a pirate first, so there. He just let out a bark of a laugh and chugged the drink he had before going back to the center of the unvierse, and the party.

This is how the evening wore on, add in some dancing for me and Lily. I saw something very funny though. A stumbling Patil wobbled over (as sexily as a drunkard can in a long dress and angelic wings) to the center where the marauders sat. Moments later, Black and Patil were doing the strangest wobble dance you've ever seen. It was as if they were part of a tribe, worshipping fire whiskey and therefore dancing for it. Remus came over with Potter and as he asked (much steadier then his tribal friend) Lily to dance, Remus raised his eyebrow and took my hand. Well, Lily had no out, so she declared ("with a sigh of defeat, for really he'd left me no other choice," she'd say if you asked her) that yes, she would. But only one dance. Potter brightened and waltzed her out to the center of the universe, Remus and I close behind. As if planned, the marauders all came to the middle (even Peter with his blonde timid girlfriend who really was staring at Black as if he were the god to be worshipped through dancing) and they began to pass us around on turns. I really felt like a rejected condiment, being wheeled from one disgusted person to another. Like horse-radish. Yuck. Then, when we'd stopped spinning we saw our new partners. Lily had revolved around me (overlapping me gracefully, for she is the most untrollish person I know) and ended where she'd started, Patil was now wobbily dancing with Peter, who looked thrilled, Remus now danced with the disappointed looking blonde girl, and I- well, honestly diary, who is left? Yes, I was stuck dancing with the fire whisky tribal god of pirates himself, Sirius Black.

I was getting worried after a bit of dancing, for he was being terribly charming and even put his splendid hat on my head. My fear of pranks went on red alert when he whispered "Lela, so good to see ya. Wish I could be with ya. Hate to have to leave ya." Dear me, diary, in the drunken pirate language, he seemed to saying something, but I am not fluent and so I said, "what?" "Love to go out with ya. Could just talk to ya. Lets go and I'll recite more poetry for ya." Oh dear, diary. It was sweet in a very disturbing about to be pranked way. I must have had more fire whiskey then I had thought. Surely I had had 3 extremely strong cups, rather then my supposed 2 regular ones, with water. Luckily, as I smiled and almost said, "well, Sirius..." (Yes, his first name! A sign of friendship and likeness. I almost used his FIRST NAME!), the clock struck midnight (which is actually 3 in the morning) and he turned back into a pumpkin, leaving me both disgusted and glad I had not taken the first name step. His poetry was dreadful.

He, diary, did not turn into a pumpkin completely, but McGonagall came in and shooed us all out, taking the now empty case of fire whiskey and shouting for all Gryffindors to go to bed or she would give them a party they'd never forget. As she said this, we scattered, but not before Black (note last name) threw up all over my sexy piroll boots. EW! Well, needless to say, I've been to better parties, pukeless ones mostly. But no matter.

As for today, I am sick and I hate it. Lily commanded for me to go to see Madam Pomfrey, but I prefer to let my body battle the flu. Besides, it allows me to sit here, eating chocolate and toast, and study out of troll-hood. Soon, Lela Snape shall be no piroll, but instead, a sexy, sexy smart pirate, minus the barf on her boots. D.I.S.G.U.S.T.I.N.G.

November 3

Am no longer sick, though I am bed-sick (as in, miss my bed so much that I am feeling nauseas for it, but fear not sexy pirate boots of the world, I shall reframe from letting it out onto you). I managed to study enough that on my last three quizzes for transfiguration, I did not get a T. In fact, I got two Acceptables and one exceeds expectations. Lela Snape is worthy of acceptance. I don't take the exceeding expectation one to flatteringly as I expect the expectations for a troll are rather low. At least it is for their smell (not that I smell). I now upgrade myself to an acceptable person, though not yet a sexy pirate. I wonder where I will be accepted first. Well I was so excited about my acceptance into the human race and out of the race of trolls that I wandered into the forest and looked around for my doggy friend. I dared not go to far in, for what if I ran into some kind of unpleasantness (like a troll, insulted by my leaving it's race), I would surely be lost then. After a bit of looking, I was just about to give up when I felt something nudging the back of my leg and I turned to see my friend. I don't recall if I gave it a name last I saw it, but today I was determined to name him (or her, but I think it is a him). I wanted something noble and good. Something smart, for an acceptable person must prove herself not to be a troll. Naming him Fido would just seem so trollish and dreadful. As I was above both of those (being acceptable), I needed something better. "Hello there, buddy, I am going to name you today, what do you say to that?" Well, he seemed pleased and let out a yip of joy and wagged his tail, sitting amused. I thought and then threw out a few suggestions: Apollo, Regulus, Odyseuss, Jupiter, Heathcliff; all were shot down with growls and sad doggy faces. Well, I'm only acceptable! I don't have an unlimited list of names, so I offered up another heavenly name (as it's in the sky, as if I'd refer to this name as being God like, he already is hot headed enough): Sirius?

Well the doggy barked happily at that and actually licked my hand. But I could only take so much Black in one day and having a doggy friend with his first name would simply make me feel like a stalker. Acceptable people are not stalkers. So I told my doggy friend that I could not name him that because that would be weird as there was a git in my year with the same name and if anyone saw the two of us (that is, the dog and I) walking around and heard me call him Sirius, they would wrongly assume I was in love with the boy and was now stalking him, planning on appearing out of his closet covered in whip cream any day now. Well, the dog seemed unsure of how to react to this, though he did let out a bark of laughter at my whip cream scenerio. I am pretty sure it is a boy dog now. Well, then the dog took it's paw and ran it threw the dirt, and I swear on my dead hamsters grave (and I loved Fluffles with all my 7 year old heart) that he drew a heart. Well, I was shocked and told the doggy that he was a horrid dog friend for teasing my fragile ego, just accepted into the human race from trolldom. He looked slightly sorry, but still barked with laughter so I declared that his name was Snuffles. Yes, Snuffles. And then I spelled it for the doggy dear just to make it sink in. With that I told it I would see it around and had to go to dinner for I was terribly hungry, but I would see him (as in Snuffles) very soon. Toodles to him and his poor name. That will teach him to tease me and my terrible predicament with the pretending boy.

Later....

Well, my calculations were wrong, seems that I was a bit late and when I entered the room, it was deserted. First, I thought this was Black's prank. Haha, let's fool Lela by making everyone invisable. But then I realized that that wasn't possible because behind me appeared Black himself, panting and looking out of breathe. "Damn, missed it," he gasped. I groaned at this, because if he missed it, then it wasn't a prank (for Black's pranks always work in his favor excepting the once that began our mutual hatred). "Lela hungry," I whined, to myself I might add. Black chuckled and asked if I was hungry enough to trust him. I made a face and warned him that I may never be that hungry. He gave me a look of fake hurt before saying, "come on, we pirates have to look out for one another." Well, my stomach talked to my feet before my brain could (for the stomach is far closer to the feet then the brain) and I was soon following the dreadful dashing boy. He took me down to a corridor with a big picture of fruits. I love portraits of fruits as much as the next person (I assured Black of this), but I really did not feel safe in an empty hallway with him. He gave me a very serious look, so serious that the smirk of cleverness that had begun to appear on my non-trollish face suddenly fled, and he said, "I would never hurt you." I have never seen Black so serious in all my life. "Well, I just meant-" I began, feeling abashed and silly for even suggesting such a sensible statement, but he cut me off saying "Lela," and, honestly, diary, my heart skipped a beat from...well, I don't know why; Let's say it was for fear of his seriousness. "Never ever." Well I sat in silence, realizing that I had been holding my breath when my heart skipped (terrible boy was making me try to kill myself without even realize it) and he tickled the pear in the portrait. Much to my shock, it giggled and the portrait opened.

I was shocked enough that a portrait of a pear giggled (how often do you see any fruit giggle?) but I was even more shocked to see that the dreadfully dashing boy was clever enough to have discovered a room full of food. I assume it was the kitchen, but perhaps it was part of his prank. Oh my! He is thinking big these days. We entered and were swarmed by house elves, which truly are the creepiest looking creatures in the entire magical world. They looked so happy to see us and they even knew Black by name. "Mr. Sirius, Mr. Sirius," they squealed. "This," he announced to the elves as they pulled us into the heavenly smelling room "is my friend Lela Snape."

I'm sorry, diary, I had to reread that statement. I wasn't even aware of it. Sirius Lee Black referred to me, Lela Beatrice Snape, as his friend? I'm not so sure how I feel about this. It is a terrible jump to go from enemies to friends in such a short time. I will contemplate it later.

Anyways, they squealed and asked me what I wanted. I asked for mashed potatoes and gravy and turkey and poof! There it was. Well, Black had only asked for toast and now he looked enviously at my plate. I told him not to even dare to think of it but

November 4

Sorry, just as I was getting to the funny part, Patil marched into the room in a terrible rage. I don't know why the rage was brought about, but I did what any sane person would do and hid under my cover, holding my diary near so she would not decide that since Black was letting up (and befriending me?) she would take up some slack. Where was I? Oh yes...

So he was looking rather enviously at my plate and I told him "Don't you dare think about it, Black. This is mine." I was very serious on the matter for I happen to be quite fond of mashed potatoes. I believe it's because they are mashed. There are people who like to chew and people who don't, I just happen to like my food to feel pre-chewed so my jaw has less work. He sort of smirked as if he had been caught (for I am so clever being an acceptable human rather than a troll) and said, "I didn't want any anyway." He then ate his toast faster then anyone has ever eaten toast. I believe he inhaled it and is secretly a vacuum cleaner. He just sucked it right up. Well then I was distracted by the elves asking if I wanted butterbeer and my indecision on how that would compliment my dish. Suddenly, I felt weight on my lap and turned to see Black with a scoop of mashed potatoes in his dirty hands. Who knows where those hands have been?! Well, truthfully, I can imagine, but why would one wish to when there is a plate of food on their lap, or otherwise for that matter? He was so busted.

Before I knew what had happened, I had smooshed the mashed potatoes in his face and was laughing madly, thanking the house elves for the butterbeer. The poor boy was so shocked by my devilish nature. Apparently he thought I was still a troll and unable to think of such a clever trick. Well, he got a sneaky grin and before I knew it, I had a bit of whipped cream on me! Now, looking back I ponder where he got the whipped cream, for one does not normally eat toast with whipped cream, but at the time, I simply decided to stand and walk gracefully out of the door. When he followed a bit after (as I hoped he would since I suspected he was still on his nice kick), I took the whipped cream from my face, enlarged it, and dropped it on his otherwise dreadfully dashing head. Then, I cackled merrily as I ran down the hallway to the common room. Life is so good when you are acceptable.

November 6

I feel terrible. First of all, I have found out why Patil was angry, apparently her boyfriend cheated on her and Lily caught him and told Patil. Poor Patil didn't get a look at the girl and is now out to destroy every human of the female gender. Her number one suspect is, oddly enough, Lily. I guess she thinks that since Lily was the first to notify her, it was due to a guilty conscience. How absurd, for Lily is so not trollish. She would never snog a boy in a broom closet. She would probably go for more roomy areas like a classroom or common room. Honestly, one simply cannot move properly in a broom closet, it is much too confined. So now Patil is glaring daggers at Lily, which is truly bothersome to Lily as whenever someone asks Patil why she is doing it, Patil declares that Lily snogged her now ex boyfriend. Silly girl, trix are for kids.

I also feel terrible because I was in a terribly bad mood earlier due to the fact that I have been brought back to trolldom. Not in transfiguration this time, however, but in charms. How absurd! I leave trolldom in one class only to be pulled down once again. The fates, they mock me so. My terrible mood led to this terrible feeling in the following way:

I was stalking out of the class, glaring at anyone and everyone I passed (excepting my dear brother who I gave an icy sisterly look that clearly said "I hate school!" and was returned with a half smirk of "haha, sucks to be you." That's family for you.). Unfortunately, not everyone speaks the universal language of pissed off and especially not our dreadfully dashing 'friend' (note the quotations of uncertainty at the term in reference to the fellow) Sirius Black. He skipped (yes, skipped) up to me with the biggest smile ever seen on a human face, and illegal in at least 5 states of the United States, saying "Hello Lela!" He then began a long winded story that had no point and ended in me being asked to go flying. Well, diary, I wish I could say I said no. Just no. A very firm, very stern, no. Perhaps even a no, thank you. A sorry, but no. But, I didn't. In fact, I did the opposite. I said, "okay, whatever, just move." Then, I pushed him out of the way and as I stalked away, sarcasm still dripping from my voice, I called back, "AND DON'T CALL ME LELA, BLACK! PEOPLE WHO HATE EACH OTHER SHOULD REFER TO ONE ANOTHER INFORMALLY!" It's really not much to feel bad about, but Megan had been just behind him and told me during our free period that his face went from skipping happy to downright brooding faster then...well, something extremely fast. Sue me, diary, I am a troll again and trolls don't think of witty analogies. I was going to make it up by being terribly friendly at dinner, but he didn't show up, so now I'm sitting here feeling even worse. Did I honestly hurt Black's feelings so much that he'd skip a meal? How vain, he probably was just snogging a girl. But, he's never missed dinner before. I've actually heard rumors of him leaving girls in closets for dinner. The boy is weird.

I can't take it, diary, I'll be back.

November 8

Severeus would kill me if he realized what I did the night of the last time I wrote. I would be disowned or Black would be hexed. Something like that. But I trust you, diary. I felt terrible, so I opened my window and got on my broom (there was a moment of plummeting, but I got it under control without shitting my pants). I then flew around a bit trying to decide where the boys dormitory began and eventually decided that I would knock on a random window and ask for directions. Luckily, I didn't have to do that (which would have been very embarrassing), because an owl flew into a window and a familiar fourth year stuck his head out of his window, totally missing me. Well, I remember hearing Remus complain about the boy for snoring so loud they could hear it through the floorboards and so I flew to the window above it. The room was all dark (as it was about 2 in the morning), but I could see Peter's luminous blonde hair. Boys shouldn't sleep with their curtains open. So I unlocked the window carefully and pushed ever so slightly.

Yes, diary, I was in the boys dorm. How dirty. And I mean that in the possibilities that now presented themselves and the fact that it was dirty, dirty, dirty. I doubt I could see even a minority of the floor. And the mess seemed to accumulate mainly around Black's bed, Potter coming in second, Peter third, and Remus a very far, far last. But no one compared to Black's pile. I tip toed over to his bed (which was relatively easy as his mountain of dirty clothes made it so I was stepping on fabric rather then creaking floors), and looked around. His covers were kicked off restlessly and he wasn't wearing a shirt. OOOOOOOOHHH BABY! That's all I have to say about the dreadfully dashing boy shirtless. Megan and Lily will want more when I tell them this story, but until then, that's all I can say.

Honestly ,diary, I was quite taken with the boy in front of me. My hormones made me forget he was my brother's tormentor and he looked so sweet asleep. You know how they say people are at their most vulnerable in sleep? Black is the most innocent person when he is vulnerable. After a moment or two I snapped out of it and approached ever so softly. I tapped him on the shoulder gently and when all he did was turn over I leaned over and whispered in his ear "Black... come on and wake up. Black?" Nothing. In fact he just muttered something about cotton balls and Professor Flitwick. So I poked him in the ribs with my middle finger (the pointiest of fingers) and hissed "pssst. Sirius. Wake up! I swear I'll jinx you-" well that's all I got out because all of a sudden he not only woke up but grabbed me by my wrist where my wand was and pulled me close enough to him that his wand (which was pointed at my neck) illuminated my face. Talk about paranoid. When he realized it was me, I think his expression of shock actually surpassed mine. "What are you doing here?" and, diary, he actually looked around to make sure he was in the right dorm. Suddenly I felt very foolish, diary. What was I suppose to say? You owe me a broom ride? I ended up saying something like "well, erm, see, here's how it is..." Then I felt so silly for doing it at all that I said, "oh never mind. Bugger it." and I flew out. Ugh, how stupid was I to do that? I must be demoted below troll. What's less then a troll? I'm now the squid in the lake. When Lily and Megan hear, they will laugh their arses off. I have yet to run into Mr. Black because I am very good at avoiding people at this point. Apparently squids are. It's the ink I think.

November 10

Hello diary! This is Lily and Megan. We're watching the Gryffindor Quidditch team practice after breakfast on a lovely Saturday morning and Lela has left her diary behind in the great hall. She told us once we could write in it, so we are taking her up on that. Don't worry, Lela, we didn't read anything before this blank page. Oh dear, Lily is turning green as James Potter comes over. He's asking what we lovely ladies are up to. I wonder if I can remember the charm to make the diary write what is being said...

Lily: What is it Potter?

James: The captain and Gryffindor royalty visit the charming Gryffindor prefect and her friend? Wait, your in Slytherin aren't you?

Megan: Not by choice I assure you

James: Where's the third Muskateerette?

Lily: Musketeerette?

James: Yes, Lils, as in the three Muskateers but in female form.

Lily: Don't call me Lils, Potter!

Megan: Why do you care where Lela is? I thought you marauders hated the Snape family.

James: I do not hate the Snape family. Sniv- I mean- Severeus and I just hate each other. Not that I've pranked him for anything recently.

Lily: Guilty conscience, Potter?

James: No, but I can tell from your glare that you think I have. Ask him! I've been a perfect gentleman to him recently.

Lily: As if you could possibly get your big head around such a concept.

James: You'd be surprised at how fast I learn such traits.

Megan: Hey guys, shut up. You bicker like a married couple.

Sirius: Hey Evans, er... who are you? Your Lela's friend, right?

Megan: I'm her imaginary friend.

Sirius: Does this imaginary friend have a name?

Megan: Megan, I almost snogged you in the 4th year, but Lela hit you in the head with a hex before I could. Something about oral STDs.

Sirius: Ooh yeah, I remember you! Wait…oral STDs? Where is Lela, I haven't seen her around lately.

Lily: You have classes with her, Black, or have you and Potter been to busy with your flavors of the week to look around?

James: Why do you always change the subject to how you think I'm a jerk?! I'm really nice!

Lily: Whatever, Potter.

Sirius: I meant outside of classes. Is she avoiding me?

Lily: If she's smart...

Megan: Probably. But right now she's by the lake with her brother I think.

Sirius: Yeah? Maybe I should-

James: Not until practice is over, mate. HEY! WATCH THE BLUDGERS! THERE ARE LADIES OVER HERE!

Sirius: Hey, Evans, back off of being on James' case, all right? He's been way less fun trying to impress you with how he's changed, so just be nicer, yeah?

Lily: Black, when you're a gentleman, I'll take your advice on being nice.

Megan: He likes Lela.

Lily: Poor Lela.

Oh well Lela, seems like you have an admirer. I say that's good, but Lils says she pitys you. Oh well, you really have to get over this whole avoiding thing, but now we want to know why your avoiding him at all. What did you do this time?!

November 12

The diary has been returned to the rightful owner. Lela Snape is once again in the house (or book). I told Severeus about what I did and instead of getting angry, he laughed at me. Seriously pointed and laughed so hard he fell to the ground (which is saying something because he'd been trying to climb the tree up to the branch I was on). I feel rather torn. On one hand I am rather flattered that I had the ability to wipe that frown that seems plastered onto his face, but on the other, the fact that my situation was so pathetic that it made the king of ice-land (as in land of ice, not actual Iceland) laugh so hard he fell out of a tree means I am more pathetic then any squid should be. Poor Squid of the house of Snape. After he did stop laughing though, he asked what in the world I'd been thinking and I said I didn't know, I just suddenly felt bad for being so unnecessarily mean to someone who had suddenly gone bipolar on me and turned angelic. He said I was an idiot to fall for it and that Black was anything but angelic, which I knew and he didn't have to call me an idiot about. He suddenly got really paranoid as Lily and Megan walked by, saying he heard someone over us, but I said he was being weird and that no one cared about what we were talking about. Then he went on about how after all the things those "stupid prats" had done to him, he couldn't see how I could think any of them would change. I pointed out that they'd lessened in the last few months, I mean the amount of times he'd walked into the Great Hall with a strange new addition or reduction (like a nose, wings, or pineapple head) had jumped down from nearly every week to once in the past 3 months. He glared at me very icily and said that the day Sirius Black came up to his sister (me) and did anything funny (I don't know the extent of that) was the day he slipped a special potion into the mentioned boys drink and had his sweet revenge. I don't know about you, diary, but that would be pretty entertaining, though I picture him making Black do something utterly silly. Oh, now I'm thinking about it, it could be far more evil, couldn't it? What is that Malfoy prat teaching him? Speaking of Malfoy, his lover is coming over. This can't be good, for Bethany and I have been avoiding one another rather successfully. Alas, all good things must come to an end.

Later...

Well that was wonderful. It's so nice to catch up with old friends. Seems that Bethany's birthday is coming up and I got an invite. Funny how intense our charade is for our dearest parentals. The dialogue went something like this (I'll let you imagine the showdown music and scenery on your own this time. Upgrade, I know, but I think you, diary, are ready):

Me: Hello

Bethany: Whatever, look I have to invite you to my party. It's in the forbidden forest, so it's very hush hush. If you tell anyone about where it's located I swear I will get Lucious and the rest of Slytherin to hex you into next year.

Me: As if I'd waste time telling on you.

Bethany: You're allowed one guest and it's a masquerade, but I don't know why'd you show up.

Me: You don't have to worry about it, I've burned the invitation already

Bethany: Good. And if your parents or my parents ask, you had a lovely time and didn't realize what you were missing in Slytherin. They are so classy. Got it?

Me: I know the drill, Knott. But, I don't know if anyone will buy the classy part. I mean, your still in Slytherin right?

Bethany: Yeah, why?

Me: Well, you're as cheap as they come (score 1 for me!)

Bethany: Jealousy doesn't become you Lela, dear. Find your own man and we'll talk.

Me: Right, well I sure hope my man doesn't stare at Narcissa Blacks arse as much as your man does.

Bethany: *huffy* He simply comments on it's monsterousness.

Me: How many times does he have to stare at it before it's looks sinks in?

Bethany: Blow it out of your hole! *storms off*

Let the documents show that the score is me: 2, Bethany: 0. But I would still never go to a party like that. Stupid girl. And giving me so little time to plan too, I mean it's on the 20th. How very, very rude. The least she could do is give it to me earlier so I could make a spectacle about refusing to go. Now I'll just have to keep the invitation and decide how best to be put off by it.

November 14

Got stuck with Black as my herbology partner for a strange scavenger hunt. When I say stuck I mean, ankles jinxed together in a way that would make going to the loo very uncomfortable and awkward. When we were digging by the lake for a certain type of seed that when put in a certain potion makes the drinker shrink (I don't pay attention all that well) we started talking about people who rubbed us the wrong way. I don't know how it came up, but up it came. Turns out Black hates people other than my brother, namely his relatives, but he can't jinx them. When I mentioned Bethany, he noted I didn't use her last name and when I explained why, I accidently let slip of the party. He was very intrigued and asked if I was going to go. I told him probably not (and then the seed we were digging for bit me). Later, after turning everything in and waiting for the professor to unjinx our ankles, he mentioned that it might be interesting, the party that is. I could, he suggest, go undercover since it was a masquerade and even change hair color and all that. Besides, Megan had to go since she was in Slytherin. But Slytherins were dangerous, he noted, and I might need a bodyguard. Maybe I will go, with Sirius Black? Wow... I never thought I'd ever say that. Note to self: must get head examined before any party decisions are made.

November 16

Day approaches, still need head examined. Megan says I should go and if I bring a date, it'll make Bethany eat her words. I think Megan is working with the shrink I will need soon to make massive amounts of money off of the prank that surely looms through this niceness that Black is showing me. Megan says I'm paranoid and needed a shrink before she went into cahoots with one. Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they really aren't all out to get me. Black hasn't mentioned it since though, so maybe he decided that my "that does sound fun..." was a no and he will leave me alone. The possibility excites and slightly disappoints me. Note to self: REALLY must get head examined if Black's not being near me disappoints me. I mean, if his shirt were off, then it would be different, but fully clothed? What will distract me from his git qualities? Not his prat qualities, I assure you.

November 18

I have won a bet with Lily. She said that no one had crazier and more random conversations then me and Megan. I disagreed and said that surely there was someone more random than me. She told me to prove it and so as we were walking to class, we pushed forward to walk just behind Sirius Black and James Potter, but far enough that Potter's Lily sensor wouldn't go off. I swear I'm not lying about this next bit of conversation, honest, diary. Would I lie about a bet winner?

Potter: ... so then she said I had detention because I called her Tootsie

Black: Why would you call her Tootsie to her face?

Potter: I wasn't talking to her though, I was talking to my tootsie roll. What possible reason could I have to say "I love you so much, Tootsie. Your my favorite of all candies, but don't tell Lolli," to Professor McGonagall?

Black: I thought I was your favorite candy...

Potter: When have you ever been my favorite candy?

Black: That magic night on the hill last summer. I felt the sparks and I thought you did too.

Potter: Those sparks were made by you setting my robes on fire

Black: But you admit they were there!

Potter: I admit you have hair.

Black: What?

Potter: Huh?

Black: Come again?

Potter: That's what she said.

Black: That makes no sense

Potter: Because our conversations are known for making sense

Black: Do you have a band-aid?

Potter: Actually, I happen to carry a pack around in my pants.

Black: You ruined my pick up line

Potter: Get new lines.

Black: I can't just get new lines... these are proven to work.

Potter: I notice you don't use any on Lela

Black: And that's why she avoids me. If I did use the band-aid one, she'd love me forever.

Potter: Right, hey do you have a mirror in your pocket?

Black: Not in my pocket, why?

Potter: Cause I can totally see myself in your pants.

Black: Potter, your just not my type, I'm so sorry. My heart belongs to butterbeer and fire whiskey. My love affair between the two is highly secretive, so you can never tell.

Potter: Rejected by my once good friend, I fear we must part and never see each other ever again.

Black: And so, we part.....

Then they just stood there, dramatically looking away from one another for about a minute before Black and Potter noticed Lily giving me a galleon for winning the bet. Then they both looked at one another, then back at us, and waved, pretending to be bashful at the sight of us. "Hi there Lela, Evans. How's it going?" Black asked smiling. "Don't speak," I whispered, pretending to hold back tears. "It's just so painful. I-I can't do this anymore." Black was very confused as Potter tried to exchange a look of confusion with a perturbed Lily due to her loss of galleon. "What are you-" Black began. I cut him off with a "I can't hurt butterbeer and fire whiskey, it's got to end. It's either them or me." Black was still slightly confused but he seemed to decide that smiling through it was best and said "then I choose-" "No," I sobbed loudly, making many people turn in shock. " It's too late. I hope you and Butterbeer and fire whiskey are happy." Then as I turned to leave, I congratulated James Potter, loudly, on his budding affair with Professor McGonagall, suggesting that Sweet Pea seemed a better pet name then Tootsie. Lily and I, then, waltzed off laughing. Some days are just so good you can't help but whistle.

November 20

Well, it's the day of Bethany's party from hell and I still have heard no reference from Black on whether or not he is going. If he is not going I see no reason for me to go. In fact, the only thing Black has done every time I see him (which is often as we still have classes together) is to get down on one knees and swear that butterbeer and fire whiskey mean nothing to him and that it is me he truly loves. He chooses to do this at the beginning of classes so I am able to pretend to be torn and finally turn him away saying that the love square had left me so drained I can't take seeing him, it causes pain. It's all very funny, as most recently he has started popping out around corners and throwing swooning pickup lines at me. Today I found out I was wearing space pants because my butt is out of this world, and my parents must be bakers because I have nice buns. Though I am interested in these observations, I had to tell him that they were not swoon worthy, but that they did make him sound like a pig. To this he replied with something about hoping I'd join him in the mud sometime. I don't even know how that works.

Patil has just entered in a huff and declared that someone is yelling my name from the common room and to get my big head out of my arse and go find out who it is so she can go back to her relaxing evening of spa treatment and voodoo on her ex boyfriend. She didn't say the voodoo part, but I assume that's what the ken doll who looks oddly like him is for. So now I will go down and tell the idiot to shut it, then I shall come back to continue with my train of thought.

November 26

Just woke up in the hospital wing. I can't remember...oh yes I can remember how I got here. It all started when I went down to see what idiot was calling my name. It was a man in a dress robe of dark emerald with black hair and a phantom of the opera mask. "Lela Snape," he announced smoothly. "Will you accompany me to the party that we were invited to?" "We," I asked curiously. He moved the mask to reveal he was Sirius Black, all dressed up. And here I was in front of the dashing lad in my oversize pajamas. Well, I was very uncomfortable as he looked me up and down and said "is that what your wearing?" "Well, you hadn't mentioned it," I reminded him. "So I assumed you didn't want to go." "Well, you know what they say about when you assume..."

"No, what?"

"I don't know. Something about butts. Here." Black pulled out his wand and waved it making my pjs transfigure into a lovely emerald green dress that matched his dress robes quite well. He whistled and I had to blush because I was so shocked by it all. We then went out of the portrait hole and before I knew what was up and what was down, I was pulled into a secret corridor that lead all the way out of the castle and strategically next to the forest. When we finally got to the party, we had only ran into one creature of the forest and I'd told Black about my doggy friend Snuffles, which he took far more pleasure in hearing about then one would think. It was as if he were reminiscing with me, but he couldn't have been because only me and Snuffles had been around. Bethany's party was in a clear spot of the forest with creepy torches that sent shadows around on a flat mossy ground that was a dance floor. It was all eerily strange and not cheery at all. I could spot Megan out of the crowd no problem as she had dropped her mask into the area of rocks that held the trio of instrumentals and was looked a bit embarrassed searching for it. I hissed to Black that I saw her and took a step forward, but then a new song began and everyone looked expectantly at the only couple who had stumbled onto the dance floor while heading towards their embarrassed friend, as in Black and I.

Well of course Bethany is too serious to actually have happy music that allows for dancing farther away from one another, so it was a slow song. It was very strange. Not the slow song, I've heard those before, the dancing a slow dance with Sirius Black. All I could think of was how strange the situation was and how strange Sirius Black had been all this year. Then, diary, a crazy thought came over me. For the first time I thought that maybe Sirius Black was like this and I was being paranoid as Megan suggested countless times. Crazy. I mean, imagine an epiphany such as this in the middle of a Slytherin party, of all places. One would think the evil around you would certainly darken your thoughts and mood, but they didn't. After the song finished, Black and I walked about, mingling. Or rather, he mingled, talking to many people we recognized, such as Malfoy. There was no talk of evil things, just something they kept referring to as "business." But Crabbe did let slip the term "Dark Lord" when talking about the so-called business. I doubt he who must not be written (because I am writing and not naming, see, I am so clever diary) would employ minors as Death Eaters anyways. I expect that they were simply referring to what they would do after school. They were, or are, probably Death Eaters in training, interns if you will. Didn't do any killing and weren't spies, just stretching their networking muscles. I told S-Black (quill slipped) this but he wasn't sure and wanted to dwell deeper, at that moment, however, a giant stag appeared in the middle of the dance floor, looking around, panicked. Well, that got everyone to look in awe, until a rat appeared, making a few girls squeal. But that was nothing compared to the next thing to appear. The stag and rat had successfully chased the majority of people out of the clearing. In fact, really, only Black and I remained, staring. Just as Black began to hiss that we should go, a look of panic on his face, out of the forest came something that looked like a very, very large wolf. Absurdly large in fact. All of a sudden, Black gasps next to me and I look up at him to see him pulling up his mask, looking straight up at the full moon above us. I realized what the absurdly big thing was just as Black grabbed my hand and began to pull me away. The werewolf howled and oooh that howl! It simply sent shivers down my spine. Turning we could see a few lagers, slow runners and all that, sending stunning spells back at the stag, who had paused for a moment listening to the howl. Those blokes had terrible aim. I nearly got hit five times. Apparently I sound like a werewolf. And I run like one? Sadly, I am a faster runner then Crabbe, or Goyle, or someone else who is more trollish then the king of trolls, and when I approached them swiftly they seemed to decide my lady like (dainty, if you will) steps were one of a werewolf and shouted out what I think was suppose to be a stunning spell. It wasn't. It sent out a streak of violet light and hit me so hard that I collapsed backward and the last thing I remember is Black's voice saying "Lela," a blood freezing howl, and then someone (I assume it was Black) lifting me up and carrying me before I black out. And that is how I came to be in the hospital wing, I think.

Black and Remus have just entered, looking very surprised that I'm awake. I think, diary, it is appropriate to ask who carried me out of the forest. I do, in an undertone, and Black gives me a look that reaffirms my suspicion that it was him. I think, diary, it is time to upgrade him to first name. I mean, if you don't use first names with the git who saves you from being werewolf food, what git is special enough to get to hear their first name? I tell Sirius thank you, using his name, and he does a double take. I think he is grinning, but I can't be sure because he's turned, saying he had to talk to Madam Pomfrey. Remus comes over now and looks very worried, wondering if I was bitten and if I'm all right. Did the monster hurt me? I assure him it didn't. I tell him that it was rather pretty to see in the moonlight in a frightening sort of way. He looks pale with anxiety. I don't know why he is so worried. "I'm alright, I really am," I tell him smiling. Then he says the strangest thing, diary. He says he's sorry. I would jest of how I am so insulted he is sorry I'm well and not bit by the werewolf bug and how he is a terrible person to wish my trollishness into the species of werewolves, but he looks so anxious I simply can't. So I tell him that he has nothing to be sorry about and hug him, which is rather weird since I have never hugged Remus before, but all right all the same. He seems no less anxious and I decide it is not over me (which I am insulted over for we all know the world revolves around Lela Snape, that is me). Sirius returns saying Pomfrey wanted to keep me for another week, but he talked her out of it and I can go to the common room after her check up if I'd like. I say I would and Pomfrey bustles over sending the two boys out as she checks up on me. She's scolding me about how many times the marauders, Lily, Megan, and Severus came to visit me and get in her way (not at the same time obviously). I tell her I can't help it if I'm well loved and too adorable for any of them to live even a moment without. She tsks at me and jabs me with her wand very hard. She says it's for medical purposes, but I think she's simply jealous.

November 28

Lily and Megan are apparently very happy to see me as they have taken every pause in conversation to hug me and say how glad they are that Sirius was there to save me. Lily is so surprised by the selfless act, she has actually been very decent to James. Apparently, Sirius seeming to have changed has made her think that perhaps James has as well. I'm not saying they are best buddies, but she isn't nearly as cold. Luke warm. It makes James quite happy. I have decided that since I am calling Sirius by his first name, I will call his partners in crime by their first names as well. Thus the James and not Potter. I notice that although she is luke warm towards him, Lily still calls him Potter, not James. Intriguing.

Talked to Severus briefly, in passing really. We were passing as I was going to the library and he was going to an extra potions class he is taking (god knows why). He says he has something to tell me and it's important and not to tell anyone, but meet him at the edge of the forest tomorrow after my last class. I told him that I have astronomy at midnight. He told me to shut it and meet him before that class but after the others. He says shut it, but I know it just means 'I love your quirks, Lela.' And that, diary, is how you live in an illusion.

November 30

Just stopped into the room before I head off to astronomy and tell the news. My brother had the craziest story. He told me that if his research is correct, the werewolf I ran into was Remus Lupin. According to him, Remus is a lunatic (as in effected by the moon. Such wit, diary, such wit). I told him this was absolutely the silliest thing I'd ever heard. He pulled out a calendar (I have no idea where he'd been hiding it as it was very big and would have given him the appearance of carrying a box shaped baby in his stomach had it been in his robes) and began pointing out the full moons in the last year in a half. He had made a note when Remus had gotten sick and wasn't in class (or dormitory due to overhearing conversations), the day due to sickness was the day of every full moon according to him. He said Remus always came back still pale but recovering the day after every full moon. This was a very elaborate system, and I told him so. In the margin of each month he wrote what conversations he'd overheard from teacher in the hospital wing on the matter and from the marauders. I told him he was a little creepy to be in the Hospital Wing spying on people. He snapped that it's how he saw the teachers lead Remus outside on the night of the full moon. He didn't know where they took him, but he was wise to their game. He just wanted me to know who had attacked me and to be wary of him. "Don't tell anyone, Lela," he told me sternly. "It's a secret." I told him my lips were sealed and he gave me a very distrusting look. You tell one friend about how he wet the bed until he was 8 and he never trusts you again. Where is the family trust? He shrank the calendar and gave it to me before leaving and I still have it. Will look at obsessive weirdo notes later and decide whether or not my brother belongs in a place with nice cushioned, white walls, or is actually right. Astronomy now!

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