Disclaimer: I do not own anything except for the plot, the rainbow unicorn/bus/thing, the Akatsuki-mobile, and anything else that you don't see in Naruto.

---

And so they ran to the Akatsuki-mobile, and followed Orochimaru's path, which led to Konohagakure (or just Konoha for short). A porcupine stumbled into their path, and Tobi yelled, "Stop the car!" Pein hit the brakes, and the Akatsuki-mobile stobbed just a few millimeters in front of the porcupine. Everyone turned to glare at Tobi.

"What?" he asked, pouting. "You were gonna run it over!"

"Shut up, you hippie," Zetsu's black side snarled. "Just run it over already, Leader-san."

Pein shook his head. "What if its quills get stuck in a wheel? We can't have that."

Tobi cheered, for the porcupine's life was spared.

After a while, the porcupine set off again, staggering quickly off the road, and Pein stepped on the gas pedal. They sped into the village of the Sand, and Sasori ducked, hoping not to be seen with the idiots. Konan flipped a few people off (one of them being Gaara), and they left the Sand, speeding into Konoha, where Orochimaru stood, Deidara in his arms, sneering.

"So you have come to take away the damsel!" the snake-pedophile said dramatically. "But you shall not have him, for he is mine!"

"Like hell I am, un!" Deidara yelled.

Ignoring him, Orochimaru continued with his gay speech. "Deidara is mine, and will remain so, until I die, which is highly unlikely, for I am part of the Sannin, and Sannin are basically God anyway; so bow down to me, your god!"

"Like hell you're God!" Konan and Pein shouted.

"I am God!" Pein snarled.

"Jashin-sama's God," Hidan argued.

"Anyway," Konan cut in, "Orochimaru-san, you are not God. You're just a creepy pedophile with a thing for Uchihas and Deidara."

"Why did I have to be so sexy, un?" Deidara pouted.

"... No comment."

"I'll save you, Deidara-san!" Tobi exclaimed, running over to him. He bit Orochimaru's hand, and the Sannin stared at him. Tobi growled, and attempted to eat Orochimaru's hand; and still, Orochimaru continued staring at him in confusion. Tobi rolled his eyes, released Orochimaru's hand, and ate Orochimaru's head instead.

The rest of the Akatsuki looked at him in disgust. "Ewww..."

"It works, doesn't it?" Tobi asked with a shrug.

And so the Akatsuki got back into the Akatsuki-mobile, throwing Tobi in the trunk, and took care not to touch Deidara. When they got back to their base, Deidara begged Sasori to turn him into a puppet, but Sasori refused, so Deidara tried to burn away his flesh. It didn't work, because Konan caught him, and took the lighter away, scolding him for his foolishness.

Deidara had to settle for sulking in silence.

The light was suddenly clicked off.

"Dammit!" the authoress exclaimed, glaring at... Nothing. "I was just finishing this chapter!"

The camera-man shrugged. "Sorry." He turned the lamp back on.

"Thank you."

"No prob."

Now, to finish the chapter, here is a 'dramatic' last sentence:

Little did they know something else was going to happen...