WOOT! Next chappie up, aren't you guys sooo glad? :D
Anywaaays this chapter is Danny trying to find his feet and where he stands with the whole 'am I gay?' thing. GIVE HIM TIIIME PEOPLE! Remember he's only like, 16/17 at this moment so he's a little confused about life as it is.

I still don't know how many chapter sthis thing is gonna have, but I doubt it'll be LOADS more, people will get bored.

Anything else...? Nah. Just enjoy XD


I woke up the next morning pretty early. It was about eight o'clock, but I had no intentions of getting out of bed. I kept thinking about the 'kiss' that Dougie and I shared yesterday, and how much I actually enjoyed it. It wasn't like I kissed him either, he kissed me.

I still don't think I'm gay though. It might be a phase; in fact I really hope it is just a phase. What would my parents, the fans, the rest of McFly think? But I kept thinking back to his face, inches below mine. Doug's eyes were shining with anticipation, and I could feel his heart beat so fast next to mine.

I must have lain there until at least midday when I heard a knock on my door. It actually made me jump out of bed, as it had caught me completely unawares. I grabbed a pillow off the bed and put it in front of my boxers just in time, to see Tom sneak through the doorway ready to wake me up with one of Harry's cymbals.

"Oh thank god it's just you!" I heaved a sigh of relief.

Tom smirked and said "who did you think it was gonna be Dan? Your lover-boy?"

I couldn't pretend I wasn't shocked by this. "Wh… what? I don't understand, 'lover-boy'?"

He sat down on my bed, and wrapped himself in my duvet. I knew I was in for a 'talk'; he seemed to be making himself comfortable. Tom sent me a sympathetic smile before he started. "Danny, I know that you and Doug kinda have something going on."

I sat down next to him, and he extended part of the duvet so I could share it with him. "I just don't know what's going on right now." I admitted. "In my head I've just got all these things going round and round; what if this is all just because of stress?"

"Dan, you don't start liking someone because of stress. When you're stressed, you take drugs or drink booze. This is a natural thing."

"Being gay isn't natural. It's weird." I objected, and then sighed. "Could it be a phase?" I asked, praying he would say yes, it could be a phase.

The answer I got wasn't what I expected, or wanted, at all. "I… I'm not sure it is, Dan. The way you look at him and the way he looks at you isn't unlike the way Gio and I used to look at each other."

"Doug… looks at me?"

He smiled; the expression on my face must have been worth taking a picture of. "Yeah, a lot actually. He really looks up to you, he told me so. But he feels like you're too good for him, as a best friend or whatever."

"He tells you all this?"

"Yeah, but if the whole gay thing bothers you so much, then just let it go. Forget about him in that way, and just enjoy his friendship." Tom stood up, winked at me, and left.

The door closed behind him with a sharp click, and I felt like I'd just lost something. A potential relationship? I felt I could never be friends with Dougie in the way he wanted me to be. I couldn't get close, not really, as I'd get hurt in one way or the other. He'd have girlfriends, no doubt about that, but how would I cope with it?

Right, I can't do this. I can't lie to myself. People who live their whole lives lying to themselves end up having mental breakdowns and shit. I'm not gonna be one of those people.

Feeling super-confident, I marched out of my room temporarily forgetting that I was still only in my boxers. Unfortunately for me, Dougie came round the corner just as I realised my fatal mistake, and he got a full view of me in my too-tight boxers before I managed to run away again.

I didn't hear any laughing, which was weird. I thought I would have done, but maybe Doug was still half-asleep, so I'm not complaining. Needless to say however, I stayed in my room a little while after I got dressed just to make sure I wouldn't go downstairs to find the rest of the guys all laughing at me.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

James Bourne was in our kitchen, cooking breakfast. Well, it should have been lunch but that obviously hadn't stopped him from cooking enough eggs, sausages and bacon for a whole army.

His chef's hat was balanced on his head in a jaunty way (where the hell did he get that from?) and he was waving a spatula around which meant that blobs of oil and fat were flying everywhere. He was oblivious to all this however, as he had his Walkman super glued to his ears.

Dodging the oil (which was hot, by the way,) I snuck up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder.

"WAAAH!" He squealed, and managed to hit me in the face with the spatula.

I wiped my face, which would now be greasy all day. Well, I've yet to meet a guy my age whose face isn't greasy to be honest. "Thanks mate, much appreciated."

He looked thoroughly offended, and it made me laugh to myself because he looked so much like Tom. "Well, Mr Jones you did NOT have to sneak up on me like that did you?"

Honestly, I tried to take him seriously but it was so difficult when he had a blob of egg on his nose. I laughed, but then said "James, can I ask you a question?"

"That depends," he said, scratching his nose "whether you think my advice would help you or not."

"How did you know I was coming to you for advice..?"

He gave me an incredulous look before pressing 'pause' on his Walkman. All of his attention was on me, and he leaned against the sideboard. "Danny, you're walking around with a kind of puzzled expression, like you don't know what to do with yourself. What's the situation?"

I rubbed my head with my hand as if trying to get rid of these thoughts that had been occupying my mind all night, and in my dreams. "What… what do you do if you like someone? And I mean, like like."

James grinned to himself, as if remembering a memory. "I tell them, straight out."

"And it works?"

His face fell. "No. Why do you think I haven't got a girlfriend?"

Standing there in his jaunty chef's hat, with a spatula in one hand and walkman in the other, I couldn't understand why exactly James didn't have a girlfriend.

Then he let out a massive belch. "Whew, that was a ripe one!" He laughed, and gave me two thumbs up.

Oh yeah, that's why.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I've resigned to just sitting in my room. That way, I don't have to watch Doug smile and know that I wasn't the one that made him do so. I hate that. Harry always tells jokes and they make Dougie smile in the cutest way; I can't do that.

He smiles when Tom goes into one of his rants, and when he stomps around the house with an attitude. Does he ever smile when I do something? If so, I never see it.

There was a knock on my door. I made a noise that translated as 'come in', and Dougie poked his head round the door. Oh great. He looked concerned as soon as he saw my face, and I realised that it was wet from tears. I wiped them away, and sniffed loudly.

"Hey man, what's wrong?" Doug asked, and sat opposite me on the bed. I could feel his body heat radiating towards me, but he still felt so far away.

I wasn't gonna lie to him. "You know yesterday?"

He immediately flushed red and looked down at my bedcovers. It looked like he was inspecting each fibre. "Mhmm…" he mumbled, barely audibly.

"Did that mean anything to you?"

He sighed, and made eye contact with me for the first time since he'd come into my room. He looked back down and replied "well, that depends on whether it meant anything to you."

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying not to get too excited but all the while, my heart started to beat faster and louder with every breath I took.

Dougie grinned to himself and shook his head slightly. "What do you think I mean, Dan? You know, I've really only just met you but I feel like I've known you my whole life! Of course that 'kiss' meant something to me. But the question you really should be asking is 'what?'"

I was surprised by this show of confidence from the quiet boy, and it made me smile to myself. Instead of replying, I simply moved closer to him on the bed and made eye contact with him. I noticed the colour of his eyes properly then. They're a beautiful colour; like a sea green. I'm sure there are better ways to describe them, but at that moment I was pretty much mesmerised and I couldn't think of anything else.

Harry has the most awful timing, except when he's telling a joke. But just then, he burst into the room (DOESN'T HE KNOW ABOUT KNOCKING?) and saw me and Doug about an inch away from each other and our faces the same colour as my bed sheets. (Red, duh.)

"Weeeell this looks cosy, doesn't it?" He grinned, and raised an eyebrow in our direction.

Dougie leapt from the bed as if it was burning him "SCREW YOU HARRY!" He shouted, and ran from the room like a scared deer.

"Cheers Harry. You fucked that one up for me didn't you?" I said angrily, contemplating what I might have just lost.

Harry was motionless, taking it what had just happened. "Waaait a sec, what just happened with you two?"

"We were just talking…"

"Yeah right mate and my name's not Harry Judd."

I was blushing furiously now. How come the person I didn't want to tell about all this, is going to be the person who finds out? Life totally isn't fair.

Harry squeezed the bridge of his nose between his finger and thumb, as if forcing the words out of his mouth. "Tell me Dan, do you like Dougie?"

The question hung in the air between us, and I saw the faintest smile trace Harry's lips as he watched my hesitation to answer. "Maybe…"

"I KNEW IT, I FUCKING KNEW IT!" He squealed and jumped on me, ignoring my frantic gestures to shut up.

Pushing him off me, I asked "how did you know?" In the calmest voice I could, considering the situation.

Harry suddenly became interested in his fingernails, and while chewing them he smugly said "you two kissed yesterday."

"Oh SHIT! You saw that? Oh god, what am I going to do now?" I panicked, practically tearing my hair out as I paced the room faster and faster.

The older boy stuck out his arm to stop me in my tracks. "Dan, you don't honestly think I'm going to tell anyone do you?" His sincere gaze pierced my soul and I understood at once that he was being truthful. I calmed almost instantly.

I flopped on my bed and laid my arm across my eyes, hoping that if I couldn't see then everything would just go away. "What do I do?" I asked, almost pleading with Harry to help me, to give me a sign of where to turn next.

He only smiled and said "that, Mr. Jones is up to you."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Around seven o'clock that evening, Tom called up the stairs for everyone to come down to dinner. Needless to say I wasn't feeling very hungry, and even when I heard James and Harry hurtling down the stairs it took me a while to convince my brain that starving myself wasn't the best option in any situation. I sighed to myself and padded slowly out of my room.

As I crossed the landing and barely got past Dougie's room, a thing jumped from the room in question and pinned me to the wall opposite the stairs. "Doug mate, what the frick are you doing?" I asked, barely having caught my breath after the assault.

He stuttered, but answered confidently albeit with a crimson face. "Kiss me."

"You what?"

"I SAID KISS ME, FOOL," he whispered aggressively.

I slammed my hand over his mouth and shushed him, as he had basically shouted his last request. Not a moment later, Tom shouted "GUYS! Are you coming down or what? I'm giving you two minutes before I come up there and get you myself!"

"What is this about?" I whispered hurriedly "we don't have time for it!"

The blush disappeared from his face and he pulled my hand away from his mouth. "I don't know, I was just playing and I thought you might have just kissed me instead of asking all these dumb quest-"

I cut him off with a quick kiss and softly said "there, you happy now?"

He closed his eyes and smiled widely, as if trying to preserve the moment. I didn't realise he felt that much for me. Or… was he just experimenting? After all, he did just say he was playing; and nothing more.

His face told a different story though. The way his hand gripped onto my t-shirt and the way his eyes were glistening with a whole new understanding, just made me smile and in that moment I knew that I wasn't wrong. I knew that this wasn't just curiosity, and I realised that I was in love with a band member.

Oh shit. I'm in LOVE with Douglas Lee Poynter.

"THAT'S IT! I'm coming to get you! I'm NOT letting this dinner go to waste…"


Weeell?

You know what to do.

Till next time, dudes xxx