Well HAI.
'It's the next chapter at last!!' I hear you cry, and yes, you would be correct. This one is a bit longer than the others, and it's pack with stuuf that'll make you go 0.o and :D and :'(
Hehe.
Without further ado, please enjoy.
This chapter is dedicated to Around The Clock, because she keeps me going, so thank you :D. I can't thank the rest of you enough for reviewing, it means LOADS to me because it gives me the will to keep writing.
Not sure how many chapters are left, but I can't imagine it'll be very many...
Okay, now you can enjoy :P
The weekend passed without much going on; I literally did sleep most of the time, except for when we all stayed at Dougie's house for an Xbox marathon. Dougie spent most of the time sulking because I beat him at every game of football, but he started to smile again when I promised I'd give him a chance next time.
Pulling up to the arena in our massive tour bus, Tom grabbed his towel and wrapped it across his shoulders. He took a deep breath, and said, "Guys I'm really nervous. This is the first time we've played our new stuff in front of a live audience."
Harry gave him a reassuring pat on the back. "Come on mate, it's just like every other gig we've done. Except now, we can sing songs we actually like."
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Halfway through the set, I reached down for my water bottle. Wiping the sweat from my forehead, I took a swig and smiled across at Tom. It felt amazing singing brand new stuff to our fans.
"How's everybody doing then?" Tom asked the crowd. They went wild, screams reaching louder than ever. "You all having fun?" The screams and camera flashes continued, and banners were eagerly held up in the air.
Loads of the banners we see are often rude, and we have had the occasional girl flashing her boobs at us. One of my favourite banners I've seen is 'DANNY! FINGER ME LIKE YOUR GUITAR!' I thought it was actually quite clever, and we laughed about that one for years afterwards.
Tom twiddled some knobs on his microphone stand, and adjusted it unnecessarily (this was a nervous tic he'd developed). He looked across and winked at Dougie. "Now guys," he shouted, "I'm going to tell you all a little story. Danny, some music please?"
I began to walk in a lazy circle, playing a tune that was traditional when one of the band members was telling a story to the audience. I shot a questioning look at Tom, wondering what story he would be telling. We hadn't discussed it before the gig, and we usually do.
Tom tapped his nose secretively in reply. "This is a story about two lovers. Earlier this year, we went to Australia to record Radio:ACTIVE. But that's not all that happened. While we were there, two boys realised their love for each other."
The crowd started screaming again, and I laughed nervously. I didn't know where this story was going, but I had a funny idea it would be about me.
"This song is about when Danny and Dougie confessed their undying love. It was written by Danny himself while he was looking at the beautiful Australian sea and thinking how much it reminded him of Dougie."
Dougie leaned into his mike. "It's true!" He said, and grinned widely at me. I decided that I was going to play along too.
Tom finished his story. "It's called Falling in Love."
I ran over to Doug, egged on by the cries of fans. I put my hand over his mouth and kissed the back of my hand. It looked like I'd kissed him full on the lips, and for a second Tom looked shocked. He turned and looked at the big screen, which showed what I'd actually done, and he shook his head slowly. Laughing, he counted us in. "One, two, three, four…"
As we played the song, I realised how much feeling I'd put in to Falling in Love when I wrote it in Australia. Tom's turn to sing came around and I walked away from the mike to watch Harry play. His eyes were shut, and he hit each note with an overwhelming amount of emotion that I couldn't help but smile at. I glanced over at Doug, and he was stood bobbing his head in time with Harry's beat and plucking his bass like the 'jazz-cat' Jason always said he was.
Everyone in the audience was singing along. It was the most amazing thing, because we didn't think anyone would know the words yet. As I looked at the individual faces, I saw pure happiness and excitement. Older and younger, male and female, hyper or more subdued; all were genuinely elated to be there, and they were there to see us.
Being all philosophical, I'd nearly missed my cue. As I sang, Tom reprimanded me by throwing his pick at my face. The girls in the front row screamed at the same time, and I winked at them. One looked on the verge of fainting and another burst into tears.
I heard Doug laugh next to me over the roar of our instruments, and I made eye contact with him for what felt like the hundredth time that show. However, this time something clicked. I wasn't sure what it was, but it seemed like in that moment, Dougie was glowing. Then, I was falling off the edge of the stage. I felt the back of my head collide with something hard, and I blacked out…
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My eyes felt heavy even as I opened them, and they felt crusty and gross from being asleep for… wait, how long had I been out?
"DANNY'S AWAKE, DANNY'S AWAKE!!" I heard from across the room and getting gradually louder as something thundered its way over to me.
I groaned, and then I heard another fuzzy voice. "Dougie, shut up! He's just woken up you idiot, don't be so loud." I raised my hand to my head with my vision still out of focus. I didn't know where the hell I was, but it wasn't a hospital because it didn't smell funny.
I swallowed, and my throat felt like it had been attacked by razorblades. Then I said in a croaky voice, "Dougie?"
Something flopped onto the bed, and as my vision became clearer I realised it was the boy I'd asked for. I was in my own bed (thank goodness), and both Tom and Harry were stood in the doorway looking concerned. "Hey Dan," Dougie said softly. "How do you feel?"
I grinned, which painfully split my dry lips. "How do you think I feel?"
"Okay, sorry, standard question. Do you remember what happened?" He asked, giving me the look that a mother gives to her child in a hospital bed.
My response died in my throat as I realised that in fact, I had no recollection of what had happened. "…No. The last thing I remember is being at a gig."
"Well, yeah it actually happened at that gig. You see, you just kinda fell off the stage and hit your head pretty hard on the floor. There were masses of security guys trying to hold these crazed fans back and there was loads of screaming. We were shit scared, you know? We had a doctor backstage and he said you were concussed, and we brought you back home to get some rest."
I stuttered. "Wh… I… I didn't go to hospital?"
Dougie giggled, which pissed me off slightly, but any bad feelings washed away with his smile. "Nah, the doc said you'd be fine in a day or so," he said, and started to stroke my forehead and hairline with one hand. Then he twirled his fingers in my hair gently, and I thought I'd probably go back to sleep. "I'm glad you're okay Dan." He said much more quietly than before, and I realised this was probably because he didn't want Harry and Tom to hear.
I closed my eyes and smiled. "Of course I'm okay. This is me we're talking about here."
"I know, but you could have been really badly hurt. Then I would have felt so damn guilty."
Opening and closing my mouth like a goldfish, I obviously looked as confused as I felt. Why would Dougie feel guilty when I fell off the stage due to my renowned clumsiness? When I posed this question to him, he raised one eyebrow sceptically.
"Danny mate, you were looking at me. That's why you fell off the stage. Don't think I didn't realise." He said all this quietly, and was tracing patterns on my forearm as he spoke.
This hit me like a brick wall in the face. I vaguely remembered watching Dougie laughing and then… then nothing. Mentally slapping myself for my utter stupidity I sent my friend an apologetic look.
Dougie waved this away like an annoying fly. "Don't worry, I can't help being beautiful…"
At this point, Harry became suddenly interested in our conversation. "Soooo Dan, you won't be playing tonight will you?"
I sat up rapidly, and then wished I hadn't. My head span and felt like it was going to split as I said, "there is no way I'm staying here while you guys play a show. No way in hell."
Tom tried to soothe me by shushing and pushing me gently back down on the bed. "Dan, we wouldn't play a show without you. We'd just have to cancel, that's all."
"WHAT? You can't cancel! I'm going, and there's nothing you can say to stop me, okay?"
The blonde swished his new long hair out of his eyes, and gave me a look that mothers give their children when they do something they don't approve of. "I'm not happy about it," he said firmly, "but get some sleep now, so you're well-rested for later."
I smiled softly, trying not to strain my headache any further. "Thanks Tom, I'll do that."
"Well guys, I'm going home. Danny, make sure you get some sleep and I'll see you later." Tom said, and pointed at me with an authority to match that of a god.
"Ooh, wait up!" Harry said, "I left my oven on!"
Harry legged it out of the room and slammed the door. I chuckled quietly to myself, and realised that Dougie was still sat beside my bed. He was deathly quiet. Despite the fact that five years have passed, he still finds it uncomfortable to be left alone in the same room as me. We're best mates, no doubt about that, but some things come back and bite you in the arse, even years later. Adopting a goofy smile, Dougie decided to break the tension.
"I'm gonna go too. I need to pack some stuff for later, but I'll be back to help you pack yours, okay?"
I grinned at him lopsidedly. "Dougie, I have a headache. I haven't been paralyzed."
"Well excuse me for trying to help!" He said with a mock-offended tone. He then pretended to cry, and walked out of the door with one hand over his face. Unfortunately, he managed to hit his head on the door frame on the way out.
I burst out laughing, which made my headache ten times worse and I also started to cough loudly. This didn't help my sore throat.
My coughing fit subsided, and Dougie staggered back into the room cradling his skull. "Oww, shit. Danny, can I share your bed please seeing as I have a headache too now?"
He was stood there looking like such a plum that I couldn't say no. There was no harm in sharing your bed with your best mate, right? "Okay," I said, and rolled my eyes. "But don't try anything funny or I'll kick you straight out."
He looked shocked, but this was also pretend. I could tell; he's such a crap actor. "Me? Try anything funny? How dare you even suggest it?"
As he climbed in, I felt my face burn and so I turned over to face the other way.
"Daaaaaanny, why are you facing away from me?" Dougie whined, and I could just imagine him pouting. He poked me in the side which tickled, and I flipped back over to find my face inches from his.
It felt so startlingly familiar, but at the same time I knew it was wrong. We'd buried this, five years ago now. As I looked into his eyes, I didn't feel in a rush to lean in and kiss him, I just felt happy knowing he was there. I was still blushing, all the same.
"Daniel Jones, you are not blushing?!" He said, as if he couldn't believe it. "The last time you did that was…" and his eyes widened in realisation. "…Five years ago."
He threw the covers back and tried to jump out of bed. I was too quick however, and I pulled him back; a vice-like grip on his forearm. "Dougie Poynter, don't you dare leave. If you're going to leave, don't bother coming back."
Reluctantly, Doug clambered in next to me but then yanked the duvet over his head.
He stayed like that for a little while, but then decided to peek out from the corner. I raised an eyebrow at him, and he shuffled to face me again. "I'm sorry," he said, "it just freaked me out even though we… um… left that phase behind us."
It stung me when he used the word 'phase' because in my heart I believed it truly wasn't. The love I had for Dougie felt as strong as the love I'd felt for anyone else. To this day, in fact, I don't think I've loved anybody more. The younger boy next to me must have seen the hurt in my eyes.
"…It was a phase, wasn't it Danny?"
I stayed silent, but the question carried so much weight, and would inevitably lead to more questions. I threw the duvet back, exposing both of us and I walked out of the room.
"Danny? DANNY? DANNY, HOW CAN I UNDERSTAND YOU WHEN YOU KEEP RUNNING AWAY FROM THIS?" Dougie shouted, his voice cracking with the strain of shouting so loudly.
It was hard to ignore him, and I kept walking until I'd reached the front door. My head rested against the woodwork, and I could still hear Doug's cries from my room.
"YOU ARE SUCH A TWAT! I… I don't know how I ever loved you." He finished quietly, probably believing that I had left already.
I smashed on the door with the flat of my palm. The burden was becoming too much to bear. There were so many things churning in my mind. Was I only acting this way because I still felt something for Dougie? Or was I just being defensive about my past?
"Danny," he said, quieter still this time. I had to strain myself to hear him. "I know you're still there. I know you're finding this difficult, but guess what? It's difficult for me too."
Silence reigned as I debated whether to go back or not.
"You know what? I don't give a crap if you don't come back. I just need you to know that when you left me alone in that kitchen five years ago, I regretted what I said. I so wanted you to come back and tell me it was okay, but that was never going to happen, was it?"
I knew exactly what to do then. Without saying a word, I strode back into the bedroom and pulled Dougie up out of bed by his t-shirt. Sliding one of my arms around his waist, and the other holding his head, I kissed him. It felt so right, the way he just fit with my body.
It was my way of telling him everything was going to be okay, and I owed him this, I realised, for five years.
As he moaned quietly into my mouth, it hit me that I owed this to myself as well as him.
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!!
Cheers guys :)
xxxx
