Bonjour from France, mes amies!
Yes, I am actually in Le Alps, having a wonderful time skiing (i can't feel my legs, but meh. Skiing!) Found some internet place, so here I am again, with a new and vair cool song for you all. I imagined this as a kind of sing off (sort of) between Edward and James, and, of course, you can see why i chose this for Edward :D
Please review if you likey!
DISCLAIMER - the song is owned by whoever wrote Hairspray, was originally sung by Zac Efron (O_O) and Twilight is owned by Stephenie Meyer
Edward, James, Emmett and Jasper – Ladies' choice
Music starts up – Edward, Emmett and Jasper dressed up in 60's suits, with gelled hair and cheesy grins. Edward is at the front of a stage in a typical 60's school gym, with a microphone, Emmett and Jasper behind like backup singers. Which, of course, they are. Jasper looks disgruntled at being dragged into this again. James is nowhere to be seen. All other vampires (Denalis and Cullens and Volturi) are in front of the stage. All cheering, apart from Marcus (O_O) and Felix, who is annoyed that he wasn't allowed to sing.
Edward – Hey little girl with the cash to burn,
Emmett + Jasper – (bobbing) Doo doo doo doodoo doo
Edward – Well I'm selling something you won't return (is grinning sexily whilst singing)
Emmett + Jasper – (still bobbing) Doo doo doo doodoo doo
Edward – Hey little girl take me off the shelf (little girl is (hopefully) referring to Bella)
Emmett + Jasper – (still bobbing) Doo doo doo doodoo doo
Edward – 'Cos it's hard havin fun playing with yourself.... (Carlisle thinks: I'll bet it is. Bella thinks: is that what he did for the last 100 years? Edward is oblivious, and still singing)
Emmett + Jasper – (can do nothing else but bob) Doo doo doo doodoo doo
Edward – Once you browse through the whole selection (obviously I'm the best) Shake those hips in my direction! (Shakes hips – Jessica, who has just snuck in, faints.) Prettier package, you never did see, take me home and then unawrap me (unwrap spoken weirdly, pelvic thrusts whilst saying it. Tanya foaming at the mouth) Shop around, but little darlin' I've got to be...the Ladies choice!
Emmett + Jasper – (very low) Ladies' choice
Edward – I'm the Ladies' choice!
Emmett – (camp) Wooo! (throws hands in air: Jasper slaps his forehead. Edward too busy dancing sexily to notice.)
Music quick break – James suddenly appears out of nowhere dressed in a yellow polka dot bikini and grabs the microphone off Edward. Still wearing that guy's leather jacket. Girls abruptly stop screaming and Bella rolls eyes.
James – (I am a sexy beast!) Hey little girl lookin' for herself (points at Bella; Edward advances with a sharp instrument. Insert sharp instrument here.)
Laurent – (who has suddenly appeared, kicking Jasper and Emmett out of the way. They also draw sharp instruments.) Hey little girl lookin' for herself.
James – Test drive this American...vam..pire... (grins evilly. Everyone else thinks – not funny. But Marcus is laughing)
Laurent – Test drive this American vampire!
James – It's gonna take cash to fill my tank... (rubs fingers together – Carlisle grabs all the family credit cards and hides them in Rosalie's hair.)
Laurent – It's gonna take cash to fill my tank (Emmett and Jasper shaking heads, thinking, he's not bobbing. Rookie mistake)
James – So let's crack open your piggy bank! (makes suggestive gestures towards Bella, Edward has had enough and thinks LET'S CRACK OPEN YOUR HEAD! Does so. Laurent runs screaming like a little girl. Edward retakes the mike and begins to sing again, everyone cheers. Yay Edward!)
Edward – (flips hair) Hey little girl don't wait to shop in, I got something traffic stoppin'! Hey little girl, gonna spin and scream (girls – SCREAM) I don't come cheap, but the kisses come free, on closer inspection, I'm sure that you'll agree...
Emmett + Jasper (now doing Jazz hands) - oo-o-o-o!
Edward – I'm the Ladies' choice!
Emmett + Jasper – Ladies' choice
Edward – Ladies' choice!
Dance break – everyone whooping and clapping. Emmett begins to break dance, then Jasper does the robot. Edward chickening this whole time. Bella, Rosalie and Alice all jump onto the stage, and everyone partners and begins a dance like scene from high school musical whilst singing.
Everyone – Ahhh... (this carries on, building, whilst girls are spinning randomly.)
Edward – (Bella kisses him for being so darn sexy) WOAAAAW! Hey little girl gonna spin and scream, (girls – SCREAM)
All – Doo doo
Edward – I don't come cheap, but the kisses come free, on closer inspection I'm sure that you'll agree...
All – doo doo doodoo doo doo
Edward – OH (rather throatily, pelvic thrusts yet again. It seems he is very into this) Hey little girl, listen to my plea, we're doing the lifetime guarantee, one day, maybe we'll find that baby makes three... (this is sort of impossible, since they're all vampires, but still)
All – (not really knowing what that means, but repeating it anyway) baby makes three...
Edward – It's the Ladies' choice...I'm the Ladies' choice...the Ladies' choice! I'm the Ladies' choice, choice, choice...
All – He's the Ladies' choice!
James stirs – someone kicks him.
Yes, James, YOU DIE ON THE GROUND WHERE NO ONE LIKES YOU!
BASK IN EDWARD'S GLORY!
Anyhoo, did you likey? xxx
Love, Helené XD
