SORRY!

I realize that it's been a month and a day since I last posted ANYTHING for this story. I do not have any excuse that would pacify those of you who have been waiting so patiently for an update. If you want my honest excuse for why I haven't updated, it's this: Laziness. I could not bring myself, for whatever reason, to type a single word for this story. I mean, I guess last week I had a somewhat acceptable excuse, being TAKS. TAKS is the stupidest thing every invented by a state government. It's the Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills and it's just a big test. It's really annoying. Other than that, I have no real, solid excuse for not having updated in so long, and for that, I am sorry.

Next week I do get off for spring break (And I'm turning 16 then too! : D), so I will make it my goal to update at least three times that week, to make up for lack of chapters for the past month.

Please forgive me. Thanks for sticking with me. =S

I watched from across the room as James helped Sirius down off the broom. Madame Pomfrey scowled when she came back with whatever she had gone to get.

"With how often the two of you are in here, you might as well not even bother leaving." She told Sirius and me, glaring at each of us in turn.

"We just can't stay away from you, Madame P." Sirius said with a charming smile, punctuated by a hiss of pain as she straightened his leg. She shook her head, mopping up his face with a towel she'd gotten from the back.

Guilt riddled my thoughts as I watched. This was all my fault. Moony shouldn't have dropped him. Moony should have fallen with him at least.

"And how did this all happen?" Madame Pomfrey asked. My heart stopped. I hadn't thought of what they could use as an excuse.

"Stupid bludger caught me off guard. It hit my leg when I was looking the other way, and bam, no balance on broom." Sirius explained cheerfully, using his hands to mime what happened. It sounded true. Madame Pomfrey shook her head and mumbled something about dangerous games.

"You'll have to stay overnight. I just have to be sure you heal completely." She said as she poked him in all sorts of places with her wand, muttering charms here and there.

"Will do." He said, taking the pair of hospital pajamas that were offered to him.

"Now, get changed. You should be able to stand, it'll just twinge a little and you might be a little wobbly. Remus can help you." With that, Madame Pomfrey left. James, Lily, and Peter walked out of the room, to give Sirius some privacy.

I stood up, and walked over to the side of his bed. My minor cuts and scratches were nothing compared to what Sirius had had. I helped him stand, and he used me to lean against. His leg wobbled slightly as the new bone mass tried to get used to the weight.

"So, how much do you remember of what happened?" Sirius asked, once he was completely changed.

I frowned, sighed, and ran then ran a hand through my hair. "Running, you falling, and trying to get James to understand. He doesn't speak canine like you do, you know."

"Bet that got Moony frustrated." Sirius said with a grin.

"Oh, you have no idea." I said. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and pulled me closer. I buried my face into the side of his neck.

"We've had too many close called." He whispered into my hair.

I didn't reply immediately. All of these close calls were my fault. Mine entirely, and t hey always would be. "I'm sorry." I told him in a low voice.

He pulled away, staring at me, judging my tone. "Remus… It's not your fault. Moony tried to help. I made him let go. I made him."

"What about everything else I've caused? The Howler? Your brother hexing you? I've been the start of so much of your pain. Both mental and physical. Pads, I don't want to be the cause of all your pain anymore."

"Stop Rem. Just stop. I don't want to hear it anymore. I wouldn't give you up for anything. I couldn't. Losing you would hurt more than this stupid broken leg. I love you, Rem. Remember that. Please. I'm not going to leave you, no matter what." Sirius said, planting a kiss on the top of my head.

I opened my mouth to say something, when Lily suddenly burst in.

"Are you two-... Aww!" She said, looking at us with a bright smile as we stood hugging in the middle of the room. "James sent me in here to check if you two were ready for us to come back in. He said that if he walked in and you were still changing…" She paused.

"James what did you tell me?" She said, looking over her shoulder, out the door, where they couldn't see. "He ranted a lot." Lily informed us.

"Nothing! I said nothing." James cried, running into the room, almost slipping in his haste.

Sirius gave them both a glare, not releasing me.

Peter scampered in a few seconds later. "What?" He said in confusion.

I raised an eyebrow. "Alright?" I said, drawing the attention of James, Lily, and Peter who had all been arguing for a few minutes about what James had and hadn't said.

"Get a room you two." James said good naturedly.

They spent the rest of the day talking and laughing with their friends, and when night fell, Madame Pomfrey had to all but chase them away from the room.

I lay in my bed, thinking of what I had done. Of all the damage I was causing to the one person that had been able to bring themselves to care for me, and when Sirius suddenly crept over from his hospital bed to lay in mine, I felt worse. He fell asleep easily, but as his shirt rode up, and I could feel the bandages around his chest, I was sickened with myself, and stared up at the ceiling, a lump in my throat.

I got up after a restless sleep, and walked to stare out the window. I looked back at Sirius, as he slept peacefully.

I sat on the window ledge. I don't know who I thought I was kidding. He deserved so much better. I wasn't worth the pain he was feeling. What was I but a monster? Even if Sirius's eyes could not see it, I could. The pain I was causing him. It was too much to bear. I turned away from Sirius, disgusted with myself. This was going to have to end. Sure, what happened to Sirius in the forest could have happened to anyone, but it was my fault that Sirius had been in the forest in the first place. I may not have pushed him off the edge, but I had led him blindly to end, and watched him fall off.

I sighed and watched sun come up over the trees, thinking about what I was going to do. What I'd have to do.