AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yes, I know, I'm skipping a good deal of time here just to proceed with the story. I didn't want to bore those of you who want to see the real plot of the story by sidetracking everyone with some random crap about how Elise became friends with the crew. I mean really, did they ever focus much on how Yar or Worf became friends with everyone?

Also, this is my first time writing Q.

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*A few months later...*

It was just another day on the Enterprise. There wasn't much going on mission-wise, since they were on their way to observe some new scientific space phenomenon, so the crew took this opportunity to get some routine tasks done and to make good use of any free time they had for personal activities.

Picard had just gotten himself a cup of "tea, Earl Grey, hot" and sat down to read some Shakespeare when there was a flash of light, and suddenly he was somewhere else entirely; a big, open, grassy field. He saw a few more flashes as Riker, Data, Geordi, Deanna, Beverly, Elise, Barclay, and Nurse Ogawa all appeared.

Recognizing the flashes of light, Picard yelled "Q!!"

As if on cue, Q appeared. "Did you miss me, mon capitan?"

"What the hell is all this?" Picard shouted. "Where have you taken us?"

"The Continuum wants to do another little test," Q explained, "something to help them see just how much humans have improved over the years."

"I thought we'd already proven ourselves to you?" Picard asked.

"Humanity is constantly being tested," Q said. "We never stop watching you, and one of us came up with a rather amusing idea that involved a more direct approach."

"Who the hell is this guy?" Elise whispered to Data. Q overheard her.

"Ah, a new security chief, I see," Q said. "So you traded in your Klingon for a cowgirl, if you'll excuse the pun."

"Hey, unless you wanna know what it feels like to have your ass kicked by a half-Tauren I suggest you watch it!" Elise yelled, clenching her fists. The "cowgirl" joke was what had set her over the edge, having been called that name as an insult for most of her childhood.

"Lieutenant!" Picard warned.

"Hmm, quite the attitude," Q remarked. "Reminds me a bit of your first security chief." He turned to face Picard. "The Continuum wants to see just how well the Federation's flagship crew can handle themselves in a sporting event against some of the professional teams from Earth's history."

"Sounds rather harmless, especially for you," Riker commented. "What's the catch?"

"No catch," Q said, "except… well, there is one thing." He turned to face Data and Elise.

"Now then, you two… As much as it pains me to do this to you both, I'm afraid I have my orders from the Continuum to eliminate any unfair advantages you may have," Q said. He snapped his fingers and there was another flash that briefly engulfed Data and Elise.

"Oh my God!" Beverly gasped when she saw what had happened.

"Whoa…" Elise said, disoriented for a moment. She looked around at the crew. "Is it just me, or did y'all get taller all of a sudden? And why can't I feel my tail?"

Data suddenly felt weaker than he had ever been. What surprised him even more was that he could feel some emotions starting to take form, and he was concerned.

"Q, what has happened to us?" he asked, noticing the expressions on the crew's face as they looked at the two of them.

"See for yourself," Q said with a smirk. He snapped his fingers and a full-length mirror appeared in front of them.

Data and Elise were shocked when they saw their reflections. They were both normal humans now. Elise had become at least seven inches shorter and her tail was missing. Data's skin was no longer pale gold but a normal light skin tone, and his eyes were now blue instead of yellow.

"Holy cow!" Elise gasped. "I look just like my mother!"

"Q!" Data exclaimed, a hint of anger in his voice. "You have made us human! Have I not specifically told you before that I never wished for you to do this?"

"Sorry, Data, but I had my orders," Q explained. "Like I said, it truly pains me to have to turn you both into such lesser beings. But you can't tell me you're not at least fascinated by this, aren't you?"

Data fell silent. He looked at his hands, and felt his face and his hair. "I must admit," he said, "it is rather intriguing... and also quite remarkable."

"I can sense emotions from you, Data," Deanna said, stepping forward. "So many conflicting feelings. You're happy that you've finally become what you've always wanted, and at the same time sad and worried about what you might have lost."

"Yes, Counselor," Data replied. "I believe that is exactly what I am feeling at the moment."

Beverly and Nurse Ogawa both approached Data and Elise, scanning them with their tricorders. "They appear to be in perfect health," Beverly reported.

"If you wanted to eliminate any special advantages from the team, then why have you not done anything to me or Geordi?" Deanna asked.

"Because your 'advantages' are the least helpful," Q explained. "Empathy won't do you any good in sports, and while Geordi can see better than anyone it doesn't make him any more accurate. On the other hand, Data and Elise were both so physically powerful that victory would have been guaranteed in the first game if I had left them as they were. There'd be no challenge!" He looked over at Data. "If you'll notice, I haven't done anything to your intellect. Well, maybe slowed it a bit but you can still remember everything you knew as an android. And Elise still has all the personality that her Tauren half provided. I assure you, this is all only temporary. When you leave this place you will both return to your old, superior selves."

"And when do we get to leave?" Picard asked.

"Oh that's the fun part!" Q exclaimed, clapping his hands excitedly. "You're not allowed to leave until you've beaten one of the teams!"

"You mean we have to face more than one if we lose?" Riker asked. "We can't just keep playing one game after the other, Q, we'll need to rest."

"I'll take care of your accommodations, commander," Q said. He snapped his fingers and the crew found themselves inside a locker room. "There's a room with bunk beds over there," Q said, pointing to a door near the showers, "and that door over there leads to the playing field." He pointed to a door near the end of the row of lockers. "And in case one of you gets injured, there's a little room over there with some basic medical equipment. There's also a replicator so you don't starve to death if you keep losing."

"Q, we cannot spend the rest of our lives here losing a sport!" Picard said angrily. "What if we refuse?"

"Oh come now, Jean-Luc, you know I can't take no for an answer," Q said. He thought for a brief moment. "Tell you what: Five games. No more than that. If you win one, you'll be returned to your ship, right when and where you had left it, and everything will be back to normal. If you lose all five, however, or refuse to play… there will be consequences."

"What consequences?" Picard asked.

"You'll all be returned to your ship, but Data and Elise will be forced to live the rest of their lives as normal humans," Q answered with an evil grin. "Surely just as much of a punishment for a crew who depends on their abilities as a punishment to themselves."

"WHAT?!" Elise yelled. "That ain't right!"

"I would have to agree with her," Data added, clearly frustrated with Q's idea of a consequence. "I may have wanted this all my life, but I could not handle it knowing you were the one who did this to me."

"Oh quiet, you'll adapt," Q snapped. "It's not like I've caused either of you any harm. Your own doctor said that you're both in perfect health."

"And exactly what sport will we be playing?" Picard asked.

"A personal favorite of mine," Q replied. "Most of your little competitions are so dull, but I happen to really like baseball, so that's what you will be playing! So, I'll just leave you all to figure out what positions you'll take… Ah, one more thing," he snapped his fingers and the crew was now dressed in baseball uniforms that consisted of a blue shirt, blue hat, and gray pants. The shirts had the name "Enterprise" written on front in a stylish font with a randomly assigned jersey number below and to the right of it, and each person had their surname (or in Data's case, their only name) as well as their number on the back. Their hats had a combadge design embroidered on the front.

"There! You'll find equipment in the lockers. If you'll excuse me, I have to go travel through time and space to find teams for you to play. Feel free to take this opportunity to practice. Have fun!"

And with that, Q poofed out of the locker room.