Title: Hollow Life
Fandom: Natsume Yuujinchou
Characters: Natsume Takashi and Nyanko-sensei (in human form)
Prompt: #60 - Drink
Word Count: 609
Rating: PG
Summary: Twenty years later, Natsume shares a drink with Madara. He remembers the time they spent together in the past as a couple.
Author's Notes: Angsty fic, post-Nyanko x Natsume and Natsume x Tooru. I'd like to say I have nothing against Taki-chan, she's a really nice girl, I love her as a character, and I know she might just end up with Natsume in the end. That being said, please don't misunderstand this fic; I've never meant to criticize Natsume x Tooru.
Gazing up at the radiant full moon, two adult men were drinking silently. Natsume was painfully aware of his being human now; he remembered how everything was different and how childish he was...
Everything had changed, except Madara.
He was still the same. Always, always…The same hair, the same face, the same body – the same everything. On the other hand, there was Natsume: oh so humane and fragile; aging, even. Now wrinkles decorated the once so smooth and young face; giving away his age instantly.
Drinking sake with Madara. The man was drinking alcohol on a moonlit night with the spirit who used to guide, guard and love him. It was painful; parting with Nyanko, that is. It might have been the worst thing that happened to him, but everything comes to an end eventually.
Silent tears. Loud, angry, disappointed sobbing. They had been through everything; hating, loving; then hating and loving each other again… But hating the world most of all, for not accepting them as a couple, for trying to tear them apart. Well done, world. You did it in the end; you did separate us.
Drinking silently together.
Natsume married Tooru Taki some years ago. She was a nice girl, and truth to be told, he loved her. They were leading a good life together, had children and everything was going well. He was thankful, he really was.
He couldn't think back to the long years with Nyanko without feeling sad, though. Thinking back to the kisses, the touches, the emotions… Remembering his male lover, no, remembering his first love.
First loves are always memorable; always heart-breaking.
Natsume wondered what could have happened if he had chosen immortality and had stayed with the man. Leaving the harsh world of humans for an even harsher one – for the sake of their love. Things could have worked out. Who knows what could have happened?
Something's missing.
Madara was thinking about Natsume. How the man would be gone, and how he, Nyanko would stay. For an eternity. He was already fine with Natsume never returning to him, Natsume never returning a kiss again, even. However, he wanted to always know he was alive…
I don't want you to die. Ever.
He knew it wasn't possible. He knew Natsume was going to die; maybe not tomorrow, but surely, he would die. And then, he, Nyanko would be alone. He was already familiar with that feeling; first Reiko and eventually Natsume? It hurt.
There were a lot of things they could have talked about, but both of them remained silent. Everything had changed; it was almost awkward to be drinking like that together.
That's because Natsume had left Madara, leaving him all alone, while finding someone else for himself. It wasn't fair.
Their friendship couldn't be repaired, because Madara was alone, still remembering the scent, the breathing, the smile, the frown – the everything of the boy… while Natsume had already gone on.
Love is…difficult to end…
''Natsume.'' Madara said silently. ''Don't you wish we had never met…?''
