Hi sorry again for the delay in updating. This chapter is a little longer. I wrote the chapter but kept changing it which is why it has taken me longer to update. If there is anything that anyone would like me to focus on more or less i will try to. Please read and review. Also i have read and reread this chapter but i may have missed some mistakes. please forgive. xox
"Bloody Alarm" I growl. I turn over to hit it then remember that yesterday after waking up late yesterday I picked it up and looked at it as I was practically running across the room. I was wondering why it hadn't gone off. So as I was leaving the room I had to put it down. Now I had no clue as to where it was. The door opens and the alarm stops. I snuggle back in to the duvet covers.
"Izzy get up" Mum call quietly form across the room so not to scare me.
"just half an hour more mum please" I call from under the covers.
Then a large mass hits me. 'what the hell is that' the foggy brain starts to recognise my dog, that mum had obvious told to pounce on me. She starts to try and find my face so that she can lick it. I bury deeper in the covers but its useless somehow my dog is a genius and can find her way in to anything. I get licked to death. Mums standing there laughing at me. ' so not funny'
"Come on honey you have to get up you have things to do today and you have a visitor"
"Who" I don't really care but I feel its an appropriate reply.
"LT Colonel Shepherd is here to see you" I sit bolt upright in bed.
"What is he doing here, its not 6 because I know that I didn't sleep all day" Im instantly a little annoyed.
" I don't know babes but he said that he wanted to talk to you, he did say however that I shouldn't wake you". She smile
"So why did you" I groan. ' I don't do mornings, geeze I sound like a fridge magnet'
" I didn't, I believe that that was your alarm, as I could hear it I was obviously close to the door hence me coming in to turn it off. Not to mention that I have to leave in a moment and wanted to say good bye to my baby girl. Is that alright with you?" I can't see her but I/m sure she's not happy. I instantly feel bad.
"Sorry mum" I push back the covers.
"Its ok sweety but I really do have to go, so I will see you before you leave?"
"Yes defiantly, be safe, love you."
"Will do sweetheart, I love you to, see you later bye." She starts to leave.
"Oh mum can you tell him that I will be down in around 5 minutes" I start to stand.
"Of course bye bye" then she leaves. I turn to make sure that I don't trip over the stack of books that I forgot to put away yesterday. I come face to face with my sisters old mirror. 'I really should redecorate this room is all about Jane, I should make it about me' I shuffle a little to the left. 'wow I really do look a mess, wait who the hell am I trying to impress. I don't care if he thinks that I look like the Lock Ness monster. Yeah right you do care and that's the problem' I move to the door then realise that all I'm wearing in matching red bra and panties. 'yep hot night last night, problem not best to go down like this though, not a sight anyone wants to see,' So I turn to look for a pair of shorts and t-shirt to put on.
After finding the clothes I leave my room head down the stair, make a u turn at the bottom, walk past the living room and head for the kitchen.
As I walk in he is looking out the large window in to our small garden. " why are you here?" 'tackles I know' I walk up to the kettle not even paying him any attention and open the cupboard to look for a cup.
" Good morning to you to" He smiles. I can see him out of the corner of my eye. ' ooooh he looks good, and I don't, not fair. Stop it I don't care not at all.
"Good morning to you , now why are you here" after finding the cup I want I switch the kettle on it clicks off almost immediately. ' thank you mum' he didn't answer.
"So why are you here at" I check the time. "6.45" I almost shout. ' bloody hell no wonder I feel like I have only had a couple of hours sleep because I have'
"Why did my alarm go off" I ponder.
"I'm sorry to say that I cant help you with that one miss James"
"What?"
" Your alarm I don't know why it went off." my look of confusion disappears a little. 'ooops I said that out loud' he's standing there watching me. I finish making my tea, then it clicks. "I didn't set the alarm for yesterday which is why I didn't go off making me late, so when I actually looked at it whist I was leaving I must have accidentally turned it on" I turn to him but still not really acknowledging him. " the time is because I didn't reset it from last Monday then" I smile satisfied with my own explanation.
"So do you usually get up at 6.30?" He has a amused expression on his face.
"What, huh?" its like I just remembered that he was there.
"No, sorry. Its just that on Mondays I need to go back to uni so that I can make my first lecture., last week the lecture was moved forward an hour so I dint have to get up so early" its quite easy to talk to him.
"oh ok" he says with a hint of a smile again. " so what is it" now its my turn to looked confused, I hold up my cup
"Tea" he starts to laugh.
"No your lecture what is it" ' no no no face do not go red, nooooo what are you doing, stay calm cool and collective. Even if he just made you look like an idiot. Oooh please who are you kidding you just made yourself look like an idiot don't blame him'
"Organic Chemistry" short answer tiredness starts to take hold again.
"You really don't like mornings do you?" I don't answer
"Your not very talkative" oh now he's trying to make judgments on your personality not impressed.
"When I have only had a 5 hours sleep and haven't even finished my first cup of tea yet, no I'm not very talkative" I say whist heading to the table I slid on to the bench. He watches me.
"Sit down will you your making me nervous" I say. "So for the third time why are you here?" I take a sip of my tea waiting for him to answer.
"Well I finished all of the things that I had to do so I thought that I would help you". "Which actually means that if you had other things to do you got someone else to do them. This was so that you could come here to baby sit me so that I wouldn't back out, right?" I raised one of my eyebrows as if to dare him to lie to me.
"Ok yes that's partly it" he takes a sip of a drink that I only partially realised that he had.
"That and I thought that it would be fun to spend the day with you". I almost choke. Oh not good he has a slightly hurt puppy look on his face.
"What?"
"Don't you like me" he asks. 'Ok I haven't exactly been miss hospitality to him but I know that I didn't do anything that could be taken as like or dislike.' I just sit there' shit what to say, 'yes I want to jump you, no you're a pain in my arse, yes you amusing, No you've brought complications in to my life that I didn't want'.
"As much as I know you" 'Yes that settles things I answered but didn't answer' he changes the subject
"So what are you planning on doing today" I stop to think.
"Well I need to call my room mates tell them that I wont be around for a while. It means that they will actually have to cook, I might have to break it to them lightly" I smile. So does he.. "Then I need to talk to Jake, tell him that I will be gone for a couple of weeks, so.. that means he will have to speak to his sister once in a while to find out what's going on with her" I look back up at him "probably best if your not there" ' I really don't need Jake bugging me a bout john, LT Colonel Shepherd' I shake my head ' its Shepherd, not john ,Shepherd'
"Well your packed I see" he points to the small suit case mum did for me.
"Yeah mum did it I just need to check if it has all things that I would want"
" Right its 7 neither of them will be up but if I have to be up at this time so do they" I smile start to stand. "plus Ann has a lecture at 9 I'm doing her a favour" then I disappear up stairs leaving Shepherd staring at the space I once filled.
I finished my call with fuller and Ann. Neither of the them where impressed that I woke them up. Apparently they had spent the night chatting to Fullers brother on MSN till 4 this morning. After explaining to them that I would be gone for two weeks and the reason they seem ok that I had called. Fuller made me promise that I would call her if I needed to talk at any time and Ann said that she would take me shopping for something that I could throw and break when I got back if I needed to. Love these guys.
I find Shepherd in the living room. "You look more awake and ready" He says as I enter the room
" I'm a women I can multitask" I sit on the one seater sofa. " talking on the phone and getting ready is easy" he smile then looks at my bare feet. "Ok putting on socks and talking on the phone is something that I have problems with" I wiggle my toes. I look at the clock.
"Ok now I need to talk to Jake" I stand and stretch, the tight red top that I'm wearing rises up slightly just above the waistband of my tight dark blue jeans. Enough to show a little tummy. I catch him looking. ' oh you so did that on purpose, no I didn't I'm wearing this for Jake he really likes this top with these jeans. Ah ha you keep telling your self that. The fact that you will only see Jake for 30 min's but you will see john for the whole day means nothing'
"I wonder if Jake will give me food" I put my socks on. He seems to be learning when I'm talking to him and when I'm not.
"So how far away does Jake live?"
"Not far around 30 minutes walk I think."
"I can drive you if you like?"
" Nnnnnoooooo thanks".
"Why not?"
"An American driver on British roads no thanks" he looks slightly offended.
" Whats wrong with American drivers?" I finish putting on my socks straighten myself out, smooth my hair then reply.
" Nothing when their on American Roads. But this is Britain. We drive on the other side of the road, plus women are better drivers. So there." I stick my tongue out at him. "I will be back in 2 hours make yourself comfortable. You lock your self out though I'm not coming back to let you in." then I disappear out the door.
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"Who the bloody hell is knocking at the door this time of the morning" I hear from the other side of the door. Jake opens it looking sleepy.
" morning. Got food" I don't wait for an answer I move past him and head straight for the kitchen. I start rummaging through the cupboards looking for something to eat.
"Hey" he says standing in the kitchen doorway. Whilst me and Jake were new me turning up at there house at stupid times looking for food was not.
"Hey" I say back. 'oooohhh nutella and toast'
"Sarah at work?"
"Yeah, you want tea" he says leaning over me to the cupboard above my head.
"You know I could move if you asked"
"You can be so dense sometimes Izzy. The only reason I'm even making tea is so that I can lean up against you" then he smirks and I blush. He take the opportunity to kiss me. His hands start to wonder, the toast forgotten. ' cant breath, stupid body don't want to if I have to stop this' he start to manoeuvre me to his room. I go willingly. Caught up in the kiss I don't realise that he has backed me against the foot of his bed until It hit's the back of my legs. Then my world shifts as we land on the bed. His hands become more persistent. They start to roam all of my body. ' oh have to stop this. Not what I want. Shut up yes it is' I keep kissing him. He shift to the side a little. His hand start to unbutton my jeans. ' stop now. Stop now, stop now, you will regret it'
"Wait"
"What is it izz" his hands don't stop.
" Please Jake Stop, I don't want this" he gets off of me the stands, his hands in his hair.
"What Izzy, What's wrong, Don't you want me. Its because of him isn't it. That Shepherd guy. that's why". he's pacing.
"You want him that's why you don't want me" he turns to me "and that is why you are so willing to go with him to meet a man that you said you didn't care if he lived or died" he practically yelling now. "Well Izzy what the hell is wrong, why wont you tell me the truth" I don't know what to say. I'm shocked. Where is this coming from.
"I don't know what your talking about. He is just a guy that appealed to my humanity that's as far as my relationship with him goes" ' lies. Ok well not lies just not the complete truth. "I wouldn't be here with you if I wanted him would I" he stops pacing and leaves the room. I sort myself out then walk out of the room. He is sitting in the living room. I pass by
" I'm leaving and will be back in two weeks. If you WANT ME call me, I will have my phone on me" then I leave. I don't even know if he looks up to see me go.
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I walk back up the stairs to my front door. I don't even remember the trip home. I cant seem to think about anything apart from what was wrong with Jake. I open the door then walk up to my room . I shut the door and sit on my bed. 'What the hell just happened' I cant seem to really figure it out. 'what did I do wrong?' There's an knock at the door.
"Huh?" It then opens. Shepherds head pops round the door.
"Are you ok?"
"what, yeah of course" I start to move. " what are you doing here" my brain starts to work on other things again. "wait don't answer that" I grab a book off of the floor then head toward the door.
"Is everything ok" I ask as I try to move past him.
"I think that I should be asking you that" he stops me "I think that I already told you that I'm fine " he lets me go past him. I head down the stairs.
"So did you get anything to eat" I'm half way down the stairs when I register the question.
"No actually I didn't, why?" he walks down the stairs and stops just above me. I then turn and walk down the rest. There was something in his eyes that I did want to see. ' I really should finish packing, I don't understand why would he do that. I gave him no reason'
"So fancy going out to get something to eat because I'm starving"
"yeah why not" I say flatly. ' wait is shepherd trying to make me feel better, no do not be stupid, he doesn't even know you, how would he know that food would cheer you up'
"fast food or café?" I grab my bag from the kitchen " there's this café just down the road from here"
We walked in to the café and grabbed a table near the back. He ordered pancakes and so did I. We talked about incidentals. Mostly about Ferris wheels something I didn't really know anything about so he decided that I should know everything that he knows about them. We headback to the house, we walk up the stairs to the back door.
"Well Miss James are you nervous about today"
"You know that you can call me Izzy if you want?" ' yeah I bet he can, anything he wants right'
"Ok so Izzy are you nervous about today?" I let us in.
"I'm not really thinking about it to be honest"
"oh ok"
"so what do you want to do till 6?"
We spent the rest of the day playing the Snes. He informed me that he had found it earlier that day and wanted to have a go. Hours later and I'm at Gatwick waiting for my plane to Washington. After we landed we travelled by car to the Cheyenne Mountain Complex . The whole trip was a complete blur. John led me to an office just inside the entrance of the complex. An airman was behind the desk. He lent forward and extended his hand. "Hello, my name is Colonel Mathews. Wont you please take a seat" he indicated with his hand to one of the empty seats in front of his desk. I did as requested for no other reason the because it was an instruction. Something I could do without thinking, and seeing as my capacity to think seems to have slowed to an snails pace. Doing as instructed was a good idea. I barely noticed that john had not entered the room with me and that now he was no where in sight.
"How was your flight?" he asks as he sits. I take a breath and try to smile.
"Fine thank you" I just cant seem to feel a thing. Not surprising as this is what happens when my brain decides that what I'm about to face is far to traumatic for me to handle. My emotional side seems to shut down. I go in to auto pilot. I suppose it stops me getting to angry or to emotional allowing me to deal with the situation at hand.
"That's good" it appears that I fooled no one and now he is actually going to talk to me about what he wants from me. Its good because there is no pussy footy around.
" I need you to read and sign all of these forms" he looks at me to see if I'm paying attention.
"They are non-disclosure forms" I nod. He slides a wad of paper over to me. I just sign them all. Glossing over the main the points. I know better then that but again brain will not function.
"well thank you Miss James" he stands "I will not take you to meet your father" he walks to the door and I follow. "Is there anything that you don't understand that you would like me to explain". he stopped at the door.
"No why"
"Are you sure. You sighed them all pretty quickly and I want to make sure that you know what you are getting your self into"
"I read them and I'm fine with it" he nods then opens the door. He leads me to a lift. I hate lifts but for some reason I don't seem to care at this particular moment. The first lift stop and we exit. John is waiting for me.
"Miss James will you follow me" he says something to colonel Mathews the we move but its to the next lift.
"Not far now" he says as he pushing the button to the required floor. We exit. I follow him down a corridor.
"Are you ok?" he asks me quietly we seems to have acquired a few armed men.
"Yes fine" I reply he stops outside a double swing door. The sign says infirmary. I walk in. There are beds lined up against each wall and two beds at the far end. The there doesn't seem to be anyone there except a man at the far end. He is watching the door. No he is watching me. I move towards him. He sits up in the bed and smiles. I come to a stop at the bottom of the bed. I can feel john behind me.
"Issabella- Kelly- James" the man in the bed says allowed and slowly as if testing the words in his mouth.
" Miss James" John Says behind me. "I would like you to meet your father, Brigadier General Jack O'Neill"
"Brigadier General O'Neill this is you daughter".
"hi" is all I can say.
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