Chapter 6 : A Light in the Darkness

She threw up in the bathroom. The acid burned her throat, the pictures of their naked forms her mind. She wanted them out, but the smell and the sounds of their growls and moans were all around her. She threw up again. She finally stood up and rinsed her face. She went to her room and laid in her bed.

Next morning, Freia felt empty. All her feelings had been washed far away. She stood up and took a shower without noticing what she was doing. Her night full of nightmares had rinsed her from her happy mood. The old Freia was back. Hope was gone, only the thought of leaving this place. What would happen next didn't matter anymore. Die or live, it was all the same. A thick mist envelopped her.

She'd felt him standing behind her door, later in the night, as she silently cried, and stood there until she'd felt asleep. But his company was nothing to her. She felt no pain, no anger, nothing. He'd destroyed the last trace of happiness.

As she reached the dining-room, she didn't even notice Vanessa smiling and eating her breakfast. The freshie looked silently at Freia who only took a cup of dark, strong coffee.

"Don't you eat?"

Silence.

Vanessa stared at Freia with worry. She instantly knew something was wrong, really wrong. She tried to enlight her mood.

"We have a new guest in the manor. Eva hates her, it should be funny to watch."

A dark shadow covered Freia's face.

Freia took a sip of coffee and finally lifted her eyes and met the freshie's.

"I know, I've seen her. Actually, I saw her with Josef, they had great sex."

Vanessa let the bread fall from her hand to her plate, the mouth open, the eyes wide. Her face became severe. She pushed her plate away and looked at Freia with concern.

"What are you going to do? I'll help you."

"I have one last thing to do then I'll leave tomorrow."

Vanessa nodded. "I'll go with you. He went way to far this time."

Freia emptied her cup of coffee. At the same time, steps echoed in the hall. Eva appeared next to the entry door and opened it. Other steps followed and the figure of a tall, red haired woman, dressed in black leather came in sight of the two humans. The tall woman slightly moved her head on the left, where the girls were eating and without looking at them nor to Eva, she left the manor, a proud smile on her lips. Eva closed the door and went back to her shadows.

Vanessa, astonished, looked back at Freia who was firmly holding her cup in her hands. She finally put the cup on the table and left the place, leaving the freshie alone.

Freia walked towards the kitchen. She knew that Eva was the one making everything in the manor. She'd seen no cook in the month she'd been there and understood that Eva was the one cooking for them.

The kitchen was hidden deep down a small corridor. Freia knocked on the door and heard the cold voice of the vampire answer. She opened it and saw the woman in the same black dress sitting on a chair, the arms crossed on the table. As she saw the human, she stood up.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you, Eva. I just came to tell you that I'm leaving tomorrow, so if you please, could call a taxi."

Eva nodded in silence. Freia hesitated then said.

"I heard you in the library yesterday. I know you dislike me from the first day I came here, but I understand his feelings and yours. You've been judging me because I don't have your sadness, well now I have it too. I hope though that you'll feel piece again, Eva."

Freia turned around, about to leave the kitchen. She stopped and added, without looking at the vampire.

"I truly cared for him."

"I know."

The vampire saw the human close the door, leaving her in her lair. She sat back down in her chair and sighed. The strong feelings she'd felt the last days from the human were suddenly gone and left place to the emptiness she knew too well. But it was for the best, it would have been a mistake, her master was in the darkness and would have hurt her heart. She knew what it felt, standing in the darkness and not be able to open her heart to life, to love. The master and she had lost their true great love and there was now only darkness for him and emptiness for her, this place their cell for eternity.

Freia was in her room and switched her laptop on. She saw the pictures from the month she'd been there. The park in the night as she was waiting for Josef to show up, Vanessa smiling and laughing, the shadow of Eva behind a blind window and the vampire, the one who'd taken her here. She saw the first pictures she'd taken of him the first time; a dark light burning in his eyes, as he sat in a chair in the middle of her bedroom, and those from their journey in the park, his smile so different from the one she'd seen at first. He wanted her to show his human side, she tought it would be impossible, but a lot of things had happened. She selected the one and printed it from her portable printer. She looked at the face that slowly appeared on paper and a small tear escaped from her eye, silently rolling along her cheek.

She stayed the rest of the day in her room. She'd seen his shadow in the park, hidden next to a cedar, looking at her window. She'd turned her back to it and went in her bed, with her book. Vanessa tried to cheer her up even if she knew that would be for nothing. The evening had been silent. She'd filled her bagages for the third time in the month, but this time it was for good. She was leaving. He'd promised her death, she won sadness. She'd promised him humanity on a picture, he won loneliness.

The dinner was silent between the two girls. Vanessa was ready to leave the manor too. She'd tried to tell it directly to Josef, but he was no place to be seen. She'd told Eva, who just stood in her black dress, her face as cold as usual, no feelings behind those empty blue eyes. Her beauty was still there and maybe even brighter than ever, but the coldness was as sharp as a knife. She was a queen of ice in a castle of shadows and sad memories.

Freia laid in her bed. She couldn't sleep. The stars were hidden by some lonely dark clouds. She knew he was there, behind her door. She'd heard his silent steps down the corridor as everyone else in the manor was asleep. She turned on the other side of the bed, facing the windows.

The emptiness had been followed by a heavy sadness. Her tears slowly fell along her cheeks. She knew he could smell them and hoped he could feel the heaviness of her despair. He'd destroyed her, he'd humiliated her. She felt no pity for him anymore. She'd opened her heart for him, thinking that he was asking her for help. When it was fully and entirely for him, he'd crashed it. She was maybe a mortal, but her humanity was gone. They were both heartless and they would follow the way of the darkness.

She heard him walk away and closed her eyes as she felt how her heart hurt her.

Next morning, she woke up, feeling tired. Her emptiness and sadness were still there, the new companions of her life. She stood up and took a quick shower. She went down to the dining room, Vanessa was already there, wearing a white skirt and a pink sweater, a happy vision in this desolation. She smiled at Freia as she saw her enter. She'd prepared her tea and some bread in her plate.

"You have to eat, we'll be on the road for two long hours, before we reach New York."

Freia nodded and tried to eat, but her appetite had left her with all her feelings.

****************
Josef opened his eyes. He was lying in his freezer but couldn't close his eyes, thinking of his terrible deed.

He'd stood in front of her door when the source of her pain had fell asleep in his freezer. Eva had told him to stop seeing Freia. She'd maid her point; he wasn't sure of what he wanted from her and most of all, he couldn't explain his feelings. Maybe it was the power emating from her as she took pictures or the way she talked to him that reminded him of the one he'd loved so much. It didn't matter, he had to stop. The same night he'd had a visit from an old friend, Cordelia. She was a powerful vampire in the community, known as the Cleaner. She used to come one time in the month to tell him the important news from the community. He'd slept with her, hoping he could forget the feeling he'd felt with Freia, but it was a mistake. The touch of the skin of Cordelia around him, her wetness reminded him of Freia. He'd longed for her softness and her tender, when Cordelia was brutal and pure lust. He wasn't expecting to see Freia. She'd seen them, she'd seen his eyes, his terrible smile, heard his growl and left. He could hear her heart break as the other woman moved around him. This was unexpected but it helped him. Freia knew this way that he was a monster who couldn't give her happiness. He didn't even come when he'd bitten the Cleaner. When she went to his freezer, he couldn't sleep. The picture of Freia's face was engraved in his mind. He had to be sure she would sleep. Behind her door, he'd felt her despair and sadness. He'd hated himself doing that to her.

The next morning he'd stayed away from her, but watched at distance. He could feel how he'd destroyed her heart, all the strongness of its beatings were now only mecanics, sending blood through her veins, a machine giving life to a woman without soul. He'd gone through the park, trying to avoid the emptiness emanating from her, but as he walked between the trees, he only could see her smile, the light in her eyes as she'd taken pictures of him, how her heart had changed its rythme since their meeting in the library. He'd discovered her feelings for him a long time before she'd even realized them. He'd tried to scare her, pull her away from him, but it only helped her to see his own despair and deepen her feelings.

He'd turned around, in the shadow of a tree and looked at her window. He could see her behind the glass, staring at him, her eyes emptied of any feelings. It broke his dead heart. She wanted to leave the manor. Eva came to him and told him that Vanessa and Freia would leave the next morning. He only nodded and walked to his temple, where the scents of her love still surrounded the place.

He'd waited till the moon was high in the sky to walk outside and up to the manor. As he came inside he'd remembered how her heart had changed its rhythm in front of the black door of his secret room. He'd entered the chamber and smelled her scent mixed with Vanessa's. She had found his secret, his true nature. He'd seen through the smells what she'd felt when she'd discovered Sarah's picture and how she'd slowly made the connections between their meetings in New York and his despair. She'd forgiven him and understood what he wanted of her. He'd walked out from the room, hating himself more than ever. Sarah would have never forgiven him making so much pain to someone who loved him. He'd walked down the corridor, to her door and he could smell the salt of her silent tears. The darkness had reached her human heart.

He stepped out of his freezer. It was too early but she was leaving this morning. He heard her leave her room and walk downstairs. He slowly went to her room and stepped inside. Her scent was so strong, so deep. She was everywhere, in every part of this place that had been empty before. He saw the park through the windows and distinguished the temple, the place he'd made love to her. He remembered that night, the view of her lying on the white bed in her dark blue dress. She was peaceful and she'd waited for him. A strong feeling had caught him and he wanted to touch her, be inside her. How wonderful it had felt then, he'd never felt something like that since a long long time. Last time it was with Sarah. He realized his mistake, his true feelings. He was throwing away a new chance of loving someone. Would he choose loneliness over love? Darkness over life? He once told his bestfriend he had waited 350 years to find love with Sarah and univers had taken her back. He'd thought he was meant to live in solitude, but her death has brought Freia on his way, that night in New York.

Josef sighed and did something he knew was already too late. Then he left her bedroom and reached his dark and cold room.

*****

Freia drank her tea and then walked outside the dining-room. She distinguished a car in front of the manor. It was waiting for her and she was ready to leave. She went upstairs to her room. She took the picture out from her folder and put it on the table. She took her coat lying on the bed and then reached for her baggages. She looked a last time through the windows, at the green park, the only thing she still really liked in this place. When she passed the table, she avoided the picture.

She met Vanessa who was waiting for her in the hall, alone. Eva wasn't there, nor Josef. She felt relief, it was easier that way. She went outside, the air meeting her face felt good. As she reached the front door, she realized that she felt free from darkness. The emptiness was still there, but its source was behind her.

She gave her suitcases to the driver and before she stepped in the car, she took one last look at the car. She distinguished Eva's figure in the darknesws of the kitchen window and another one that she couldn't stare, on the second floor.

She sat next to Vanessa who sighed in relief.

"You'll see Freia, everything will be a lot better."

Freia smiled, but she knew it wouldn't. She'd given her heart for good and she wouldn't have it back. She looked straight in front of her. The path of trees to the high and heavy portal. The car began to drive and Freia felt her heart beat in her chest filled with a strong sadness.

Vanessa talked to her but she didn't listen to her, her voice was a far murmur. Her mind was in the memory of the only night where he'd truly loved her. She felt tears in the corner of her eyes and looked through the window of the car, so Vanessa couldn't see them.

She put her hand in the pocket of her coat, hoping to find a handkerchief and felt something. She pulled it and saw a piece of paper. Her hands were suddenly shaking, her heart pounding. She unfolded it then shouted "Stop the car!"

Vanessa looked at her surprised. "What's wrong Freia?"

Freia stared at her with eyes that said it all. Vanessa nodded. She saw her friend open the door and leave the car.

Freia ran to the manor, pushed the heavy front door, jumped the stairs, two after two and reached her bedroom, breathless.

He was standing there, in front of the window, the picture of him smiling in the shadow of the blue cedar in his hand, looking at the park. He turned around as he heard the door opening.

Freia saw his face, he had tears in the corner of his eyes and before he could do or say something, she walked towards him and took him in her arms. She held him tight and kissed him passionately. He took her closer against him and lifted her as he answered her warm and loving kiss.

A little piece of paper left her hand and fell on the floor.

I'm forever yours

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