Author's Note: This chapter is told entirely from Faye's POV. I thought about how I would write the flashback for a while and decided that writing it according to the character's experiences would be more effective than just narrating the events from an outside POV. Plus, it was way less annoying than doing the whole "he said she said" thing, which is what would have happened if I'd kept the POV the same as the previous chapters. ^^' lol. I'll only be using the 1st person POV for this chapter, though.
Oh, and I apologize in advance if any details start contradicting each other from this point on. I'm doing my best to keep everything straight :) but I may still slip up here and there. Please be patient with me!
PS - This is the longest chapter I've ever written 0_0 yay!!
The Beast Within
Chapter 5
My family and I lived in a small village, isolated from many of the more modern influences of today. Natural barriers like mountains, forests, and rivers helped our village to maintain its isolation. Ours was a small community in which everyone knew – or was at least acquainted with – everyone else. In my earliest memories, I had many friends.
My father worked very hard every day – he spent most of his time in his study, hunched over his desk as he relentlessly scribbled out notes and formulae. No one in the village ever told me or my brothers what exactly our father's job was, but we could sense that it was something important. Something no one else was able to do. Every villager seemed to have a lot of respect for father...but even so...mother never seemed to stop worrying. We – my brothers and I – never understood why she behaved that way. We thought it was strange and confusing for her to worry about everything and nothing all at once. I remember how my older brother, Jarrett, used to sit beneath the huge tree in our backyard and think of ways to make our mother smile, however brief that smile might be.
It's not that mother didn't smile. She did...but it was a mask. She tried to hide her worries by smiling, but we could tell. Her true smile made us feel warm inside while her usual smile made us feel empty. I doubt she ever realized it, though.
As the years passed and we grew older, Jarrett changed. He began to think about different, darker things. He spoke to me and my younger brother, Caelum, less and less often as time went by. There were times when we felt like we didn't matter to him anymore...but at other times, we pitied him. We wondered what could possibly be weighing his thoughts down so much that he would treat us like strangers. Something was wrong, we were certain of that, but we had no idea what that something could be.
Caelum and I had always looked up to Jarrett in the past – he was older than us, so we naturally idolized him. He had always been kind, understanding, and strong of heart; we could go to him with any problem or worry and he would offer advice or comfort without hesitation. His eyes had always had a playful gleam in them, and he had been an easygoing and trusting person. Now, though...his eyes were dull and he no longer seemed to trust anyone. My younger brother and I had both noticed the change – how could we not? – but neither of us felt comfortable asking him about it.
One morning, when I was sitting beside Jarrett under the tree, he mumbled something so softly that I almost missed it entirely.
"What are they hiding from us?"
I felt as though my breath had caught in my chest. Of all the things for him to say, he had voiced an echo of my own more recent thoughts.
"Who?" I asked, nervously fidgeting with the hem of my shirt.
"Everyone," he breathed, his brow furrowed in frustration. His expression changed to one of concern as he turned to face me. "Haven't you noticed how strangely everyone acts around us? Around our family?"
I remained silent. Of course I'd noticed! It was impossible not to. When we were little, nothing had seemed out of the ordinary at all...but as we grew older, the change became evident all around us. The other children began avoiding us, their parents stopped making eye contact – our friends were abandoning us, one by one.
"Is this what you're always brooding over?" I asked quietly.
"Yes...among other things."
"What other things?"
"The real purpose of father's job, why it's treated with so much secrecy, what causes mother to worry so much, why she refuses to discuss her worries..." he smiled sadly. "I've been thinking about a lot of things. I've been asking myself questions I'm unable to answer. The only thing I'm sure of right now is that father's job and everyone's strange behaviour are connected somehow."
"But Jarrett," I protested, "Mother and father would tell us if something was really wrong. Don't you trust them?"
Jarrett stood with a sigh. "I don't know who to trust anymore, aside from you and Caelum. The villagers completely shun me now and our parents refuse to give an explanation. You and Caelum are still accepted, but trust me – the second you do something different, something...unique...they'll shut you out, too."
"No!" I protested, trying so hard to defend the people I'd known all my life; trying to defend them even against my own thoughts. "They're our friends! Why would they do something like that?" But in my heart, I knew he was right. Speaking with Jarrett had only reinforced my growing doubts about the villagers.
I threw my arms around my brother and hugged him tightly. He hugged me back more gently, but I could tell his mind was elsewhere. It was heartbreaking. No matter how closely I held him, he was as unreachable as ever.
Several months passed before Jarrett shared his thoughts with me again. He shook me awake in the middle of the night and motioned for me to follow him quietly. I blinked and rubbed my eyes, trying to wake up properly. We crept out of my room and down the hallway, toward the stairs. I glanced at Caelum's room as we passed it; his soft snores were audible through the door. I longed to return to my own room and go back to sleep, but Jarrett had my hand in a firm grip. Grudgingly, I followed him downstairs.
"Jarrett," I yawned, still half asleep. "Where are we going? It's the middle of the night."
He held a finger up to his lips, signalling for silence. "We can't let them hear us," he whispered, "They don't know we're following. You know what day it is, right?"
I stared at him, not understanding the point of the question.
He sighed and pointed at the clock on the wall. There was just enough moonlight coming through the window for me to read it – 12:01am.
"Oh. So it's technically my birthday...what difference does that make?" It was too early for these mind games.
"It makes a big difference," he replied quietly as he slipped into his shoes, "Hurry up."
I shoved my shoes on, grabbed a light hoodie, and followed my brother outside. I was immediately glad I'd remembered my hoodie – it was a warm time of year, but a chilly breeze was blowing in from the mountains and the sun hadn't risen yet. Looking up, I noticed several pinpricks of light. They were disappearing, single file, into the distant forest. Jarrett moved swiftly and silently toward the lights, keeping to the shadows. I trailed after him, doing my best to keep up without making too much noise.
As we reached the edge of the forest, I reached out and gripped my brother's hand. It was extremely dark under the cover of the trees and I didn't want to risk being separated from him. The small lights continued their course through the dense foliage, so we did the same. Eventually, I noticed that the lights ahead of us were decreasing in number, as if they were suddenly vanishing without explanation. Jarrett slowed to a stop and waited for the last of the lights to disappear. Once they were gone, he led me forward slowly and we approached the spot where the lights had been only moments before. There seemed to be a thick wall of leaves and branches there. I looked at it with intense curiosity; faint noises were emanating from the other side but I could see no way to reach the source of the sounds.
Jarrett gave my hand a brief squeeze to get my attention; he lay down on his stomach, facing the mysterious barrier. I mimicked him and waited for his next move. He crawled forward and I accidentally let out a gasp as his head disappeared through the wall. I followed quickly, afraid of being left behind, and was amazed to find myself crawling through a thin, cleverly woven curtain of leaves. Beyond the curtain was a small tunnel. The ceiling was a little over a foot high; it was just barely wide enough for the two of us to crawl side by side. Jarrett and I stopped as we reached a second curtain, identical to the one at the entrance. The voices had grown louder as we'd passed through the tunnel, and through the small gaps in the curtain, we were now able to see the source of the lights we had been following – candles. There was a crowd of people standing in a clearing, each of them holding a candle.
"What's going on?" I whispered, tapping Jarrett's arm lightly.
"That's what I'm trying to find out," he whispered back, keeping his eyes locked on the scene in front of us.
"Then what was the point of dragging me with you?" I grumbled under my breath. "I could have stayed in bed."
He seemed to hesitate for a moment before answering. "I need you here. I have a theory to test."
I sighed, frustrated by his elusive answers, and turned my attention back to the scene beyond the veil of leaves. My eyes widened as I took a closer look – I was sure that almost every adult in the village was there. They had moved to stand in a large circle and were carefully placing their candles in holders at their feet. It looked to me like the holders were immovable, so the circular formation had to have been something planned in advance. The candles' flickering lights were spaced evenly, and there seemed to be some sort of framework running between them. I couldn't make out the pattern, though.
The middle of the circle was void of people – everyone was standing outside the ring of light, behind their candles. The only thing inside the circle was a large statue; a monument or something. I still don't know for sure. It looked like some kind of animal.
I stared at it for the longest time. The flickering light illuminating it combined with the soft chant the adults had begun to murmur had a hypnotizing effect on me. Everything felt so ethereal...I'm not sure how much time passed before Jarrett suddenly grabbed my wrist, startling me out of my stupor.
"It's starting," he hissed.
My mouth fell open as the framework burst into flames, revealing the pattern that had puzzled me before. Even though I was looking at the shape from an awkward angle, I recognized it immediately. I had seen it every day of my life! The same symbol was etched on the charm I had been given as a small child; I think I was around four years old at the time.
The chanting increased in volume and tempo. The meaning was lost on me – it was spoken in a language I'd never heard before. The symbol on the ground blazed furiously; maybe it was just my imagination but I swear it seemed to grow brighter. Turning my head slightly to look at Jarrett, I noticed he was clenching his fists so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. His gaze, I was surprised to see, was focused only on the statue; he didn't even seem to notice the crowd or the symbol.
Then it happened.
The statue burst into raging flames. I gasped in amazement, unable to tear my eyes away from the spectacle. It had a morbid sort of beauty to it. I had never seen such a strange animal before; its body was fairly skeletal – its ribs were visible through the skin – but it somehow retained a sense of effortless grace. The shape of its head and body were similar to those of a deer, it had a long, flowing tail and mane like a horse, and two long, sharp, slightly angled horns protruded from its brow, kind of like a gazelle. I watched with wonder as the flames danced across the statue, emphasizing its morbid beauty.
"What is that?" I whispered.
"I don't know but I don't trust it. I think it is causing the villager's strange behaviour."
"........"
I wasn't even paying attention to him anymore. I could hear his voice, but his words were jumbling and slurring together in my mind, blending until the sounds were little more than a background hum. I didn't care. It didn't matter. Only one thing mattered to me at that moment – the statue's eyes. Black, empty eyes. I dimly remember noticing a glowing shape on the statue's forehead, slightly covered by a wisp of mane.
The last thing I remember is a blinding flash of light rushing towards me...then everything went dark.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
When I regained consciousness, I was back in my room, safe in bed. I rubbed my eyes and sat up slowly, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed.
"Morning," an exhausted voice greeted me from across the room.
Looking up, I saw Jarrett sitting on the floor, leaning against the far wall; he had a blanket wrapped loosely around his shoulders. I gave my eyes another quick rub – for some reason, they felt extremely dry, itchy, and sore that morning. Come to think of it, they had been sore and itchy on my birthday for several years in a row.
"Morning," I replied, blinking my eyes rapidly in an effort to relieve the irritation; the rubbing had not been having much effect. "Oh my god, what the hell?" I grumbled under my breath.
"What?"
I tried rubbing again. "My stupid eyes won't stop itching! They feel really dry..." I began alternating between blinking and rubbing, hoping for some relief. "They've felt this way on my birthday every year since I was little."
"Huh. Makes sense," Jarrett murmured.
"What does?"
He didn't answer.
I rolled my eyes at his stubborn silence. "Does it have something to do with that...that thing?"
"...Yes," he said after a moment of hesitation, "I'm sure of it. I'm just not sure what it has to do with it. Not yet. It seems to affect you differently than it affects me."
I ran his words over in my mind a few times, trying to understand. "Jarrett...what did it do to me?"
"It's hard to describe...were you really unconscious through the whole thing?" his eyes widened in disbelief.
"Yes. Stop stalling."
"Ok, sorry," he ran his fingers through his hair, one of his nervous habits. "I guess I'm just...scared. I don't trust mom or dad, the villagers have shut me out – you and Caelum are the only ones I can turn to. Unfortunately, neither of you can help me because you don't know anything more about what's happening than I do. Plus, as the oldest, I have to be strong for all three of us. I don't know," he sighed, letting his hand fall to the floor. "It's just really hard sometimes."
I stood went to sit beside him. Wrapping my arm around his shoulders, I gave him a quick one-armed hug. "It's ok, Jarrett. You'll always have us here to support you."
He gave me a brief smile in return.
"So this..." I waved my hand in a circular motion, trying to think of the right word. "This condition. Does it affect Caelum, too?"
"Yes."
I sighed. "Damn. I was hoping he wouldn't have to get involved. Does it affect him the same way it affects me...or you?"
"No."
A sudden knock on my door startled us.
"How is she feeling, Jarrett? Has her fever gotten any better?" My mother's worried voice was muffled a bit by the door between us.
"I think she's feeling alright now," Jarrett answered, shoving me towards my bed. I took the hint and sat on the edge. "She just woke up."
My mother opened the door and approached me, laying the back of her hand against my forehead. "No fever, thank goodness!" she smiled with relief. "It would be awful if you got sick on your birthday."
"I feel fine," I reassured her, smiling back, "My eyes are just really itchy and sore this morning. It's kind of annoying." I rubbed them again, gauging her reaction from the corner of my eye.
She hesitated for about a fraction of a second before looking at me with sympathy. "Hmm. Maybe it's an allergic reaction to something in the air."
I nodded. "Yeah, that's probably it."
"Well," she turned to leave, smiling again, "I have breakfast ready downstairs. Come down when you think you feel well enough."
"Ok."
I kept still while she closed the door. When the sound of her footsteps had faded away, I looked at Jarrett. "She knows something."
"Definitely."
"I hate being lied to," I sighed, determined not to feel sorry for myself.
"Me too."
"Ok, so you seem to know a lot about each of our symptoms. I'm guessing that means you've seen them all by now. Fill me in." I blinked my eyes and gave them another brief rub. On the bright side, the intensity of the itch seemed to be subsiding – gradually.
"Well, like I said before, that thing affects each of us differently. I was enveloped in darkness, like some kind of pitch black cloud had surrounded me or something. I was scared at first, but the darkness receded as quickly as it appeared. It just...absorbed through my skin. After I'd absorbed the darkness, I felt an incredible surge of power coursing through my body. I don't know what happened...it was really weird."
"Ok..." I had a feeling he wasn't telling me the whole story. "So what happened to me?"
"A beam of blinding white light rushed towards you and seemed to enter your heart – that's where most of the light was absorbed, anyway. After that, you collapsed and your eyes went crazy."
"What do you mean? What happened?"
"Well, your eyes started...glowing. They were incredibly bright. I was afraid they would attract that mob's attention so I carried you home. Your eyes were acting so weird. They stayed open all night – you didn't even blink! And the whole time, the glow from your eyes kept changing colour. They went through the whole colour spectrum – multiple times – from what I could see."
Huh, I thought to myself, that explains why my eyes are so dry and sore. Going several hours without blinking was probably the root of the irritation, but I was sure that the eerie light hadn't helped much either.
"And Caelum?"
"His reaction seems to be the least extreme so far," Jarrett replied, "I checked him on his birthday and all I noticed was that his hair turned black and his skin glowed softly for a few minutes. After that, his body went back to normal. I don't think he felt anything strange; he didn't even wake up. Hopefully that means he's not being affected too seriously."
"Good," I murmured. "So how do we find out what these reactions mean?"
"I have an idea of where to start." Jarrett smiled. "I'm glad I'll have some help from now on. The past few years have been pretty lonely."
"You would have had help sooner if you weren't so stubborn about handling problems on your own." I grinned, giving him a hug.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Father's study – that was the target. We were sure that everything we needed to know could be found in there; the problem was getting in there. Father spent all day working in his study and mother was always nearby, either cleaning or looking for something or just pacing, with a worried expression on her face. There was no way we could investigate the study without being caught. We were forced to bide our time.
Finally, an opportunity arrived; for once, both of our parents were out of the house at the same time. Mother had somehow managed to convince father to help her with the grocery shopping.
"Hurry up," Jarrett urged as he opened the door to the study. "It's now or never."
"Never? That's a bit extreme, isn't it?" I teased, trying to ignore the butterflies in my stomach.
Jarrett rolled his eyes. "Just try some of the stuff on his desk. I'll check through the drawers. Make sure to put everything back the way you found it, though. You know how organized father is; he'll notice if anything gets shuffled around."
I nodded and began sifting through the various papers on the desk. I couldn't understand a word of the notes – they were all written in a language I'd never seen before. However, there was something in those notes that caught my attention: the symbol. It appeared several times throughout the pages of notes I held in my hands.
"Jarrett," I muttered, "I think I've found a link."
He closed the drawer he'd been looking through and glanced over my shoulder at the notes. I handed them to him, hoping he could make sense of them.
"I can't understand a word of these notes, but the symbol from that night keeps reappearing throughout the pages. It must be a link."
He nodded slowly, furrowing his brow as he examined the bizarre writing. "This seems to be written in some form of short-hand," he explained after a few minutes.
"What's that?"
"Short-hand is a type of writing that allows you to write almost as fast as you can speak. It uses dots and dashes and stuff in place of letters. "
"I've never heard of it before. How did you find out about it?"
He shrugged. "I saw a book about it in the library a long time ago. I was curious so I flipped through the introduction. It didn't sound very interesting at the time so I just put it back on the shelf."
"Oh."
"Hang on a second – I'll be right back." Jarrett set the pages on the desk and hurried out of the study, only to return a few moments later holding a pencil and notebook. "I'll copy out as many pages as I can and then borrow the library book to translate it."
"But it'll take you hours just to copy out these pages," I gestured toward the papers he had set down. "Who knows how many other pages of notes father has made?"
"I know. It's completely overwhelming but it has to be done if we're ever going to understand what's happening." He was already copying out the first page.
I bit my lip as another worry hit me. "Father is the only person I know of who uses this form of writing, and he only seems to use it for his notes. Won't it look suspicious if you suddenly want to learn it, too?"
"Probably, but I'll deal with that problem later. If I only borrow the book for a few days, suspicion should be kept at a minimum; if anyone asks about it, I can just tell them I was curious and then complain about how boring and useless the book is."
His words offered me some comfort, but a part of me knew that our time together was nearing an end.
