Note: a large portion of this chapter is an edited excerpt from The Darkest Hour. It's not in italics, but you'll know where it is. Disclaimer: I do not own anything the Erin Hunters wrote, nor do I own Warriors. If I did, the third series wouldn't suck so much, Firestar wouldn't be perpetually out of character, and Smokepaw would be a major character.
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Two, of Innocence
Smokepaw is surprised, to say the least, when he wakes the next morning to find the newcomer beside him. He blinks, and rubs the weariness from his eyes, and rolls his neck before turning to look around the apprentice den.
Talonpaw is still asleep, curled up between him and the wall, breathing heavily and soundly. Rowanpaw and Cedarpaw are gone, probably on dawn patrol. The RiverClan apprentices are sleeping separately across an invisible chasm on the opposite side of the den, all still soundly slumbering. After observing the other apprentices, Smokepaw finally forces himself to look down at the she-cat curled against his flank.
She had been groomed, that much was obvious; her fur was no longer matted with mud and cold with rainwater. Smokepaw is startled to notice that beneath the layers of mud that had coated her the previous night she has soft tortoiseshell fur, and is actually kind of pretty.
As soon as the thought occurs to him, he shoves it violently from his mind. He has no time for such thoughts; a battle is coming, for TigerClan's dominance of the forest, and he has to train. There is no time for trivialities.
Nonetheless, he is careful not to wake her as he gets up and makes his way out of the den to the fresh kill pile. She has obviously had a rough night, he thinks, and it would be best to let her rest.
Though apparently, the newcomer is just full of surprises. Not a minute after he reaches the fresh kill pile, he sees her trailing after him.
"Hi," she mews timidly, her eyes fixed on her toes.
Smokepaw wonders why she is awake, but sees no point in asking. If she isn't tired, she is probably hungry. And since she is probably his Clanmate now, since she is Tigerstar's daughter, it would be only chivalrous to offer her some prey.
So he does just that. "Would you like to eat?" He asks, gesturing at the fresh-kill pile with his tale. "It isn't quite leaf-bare yet, so we have plenty to spare."
Tawnypaw nods gratefully, but doesn't move. For a moment, Smokepaw thinks she's spaced out, and has no idea what to do. But then she smiles, and meows a quiet "Thank you," and takes a small mouse from the pile.
Her soft, trepid voice somehow makes Smokepaw sympathize for her. He knows he shouldn't; ever since his apprenticeship, barely half a moon ago, Oakfur had been beating a single piece of information into his young head: ShadowClan cats are brave, dignified, and independent, care for themselves above all others, and are responsible for all actions. He knows he shouldn't care for Tawnypaw, that she should learn to live without his or anyone's help, but he somehow can't resist.
"Would you like me to show you around?" he asks, still unsure of why he is doing so. "I can show you around the territory, if you'd like."
Tawnypaw brightens considerably. "I would like that," she meows, with a new spring in her voice.
The two apprentices stand up to leave, and walk out of camp side by side. At first, it is rather awkward, and Smokepaw begins to regret making his offer. He has nothing to say, and neither does she, or so he thinks.
Finally, as they disappear into the pine trees beyond camp, she speaks. "Thank you," she meows.
Smokepaw stops walking and meets her gaze, his eyes searching hers in confusion. "Thank you? For what?"
"For taking me to the patrol last night," she explains quietly, "And for bringing me back to camp."
Smokepaw waves off the praise. "Any cat would have done it. You're Tigerstar's daughter."
Tawnypaw's bright green eyes widen. "You talk about him with respect..."
Smokepaw rolls his eyes and continues walking, carefully avoiding the puddles left by the previous night's rain. "Of course I do," he meows bluntly, "He's our leader, the founder of TigerClan, and will one day rule the forest." That was what Oakfur had told him, anyhow, and what reason did he have to disbelieve his mentor?
Tawnypaw scampers to catch up to him, an awed and astonished glow in her eyes. "So you and your Clan... you won't hate me for being his daughter?"
Smokepaw regards her curiously. "Are you serious? Of course not. That would be mouse-brained."
Tawnypaw's shoulders relax visibly, as though a weight has been lifted from her shoulders. Smokepaw doesn't know what to make of it, but then decides that if it's important, he'll find out in time.
He then makes a decision, one he hadn't thought he'd consider; he leads her through the maze of pine trees that is ShadowClan territory, through the wet marshes, and then into a clearing.
Their paws are soaked and muddy from trekking through the marsh, but Smokepaw is confident that it was worth it. The small clearing is filled with wild flowers, beautiful and bright in the last of their days of glory before they shrivel up for leaf-bare. Smokepaw sits down in a bed of flowers, and motions for Tawnypaw to join him.
The former ThunderClan apprentice's eyes dart around the clearing in amazement. "It's beautiful..." she trails off, and suddenly turns to Smokepaw. "Oh!"
Smokepaw jumps, startled by her sudden exclamation. "What?"
Tawnypaw blushes in embarrassment. "You know who I am, but I still don't even know your name."
Smokepaw snorts; he doesn't see why it is such a big deal. "Smokepaw," he mews. "My name is Smokepaw."
Tawnypaw smiles. "Thanks, Smokepaw."
Smokepaw doesn't know what to say. He has never been subject to praise or thanks before, and he doesn't know what to make of it. So he switches the subject. "These are chrysanthemums," he meows, and twiddles one of the vivid scarlet flowers in his paws.
"Chrysa - what?"
Smokepaw laughs, if you could call it that. It is more like a growl of amusement, as though the young apprentice were afraid to laugh. "Chrysanthemums. Or just mums. They're my favorite flowers. Have you never seen them before?"
Tawnypaw shakes her head. "No. But they're really pretty." She sniffs one of the mums. "And they smell nice, too." She sighs. "Just another thing they don't have in ThunderClan."
Smokepaw hates it when cats act like that; when they make a statement that is practically begging the cat they're talking with to ask about it. But for some reason, coming from Tawnypaw's mouth, it doesn't bother him.
So he asks. "What do you mean?"
She seems all too happy to explain, but not in a bragging way, he notes, but rather to get it off her chest. So against his nature, he listens.
"They don't respect Tigerstar in ThunderClan," she meows. "Not only do they disrespect him, they hate him! And they hate me and Bramblepaw too, just for being his kits. Especially Fireheart, the deputy, he hates us. He told us about the things my father did to ThunderClan, and told us the Clan was still proud of us, but he's not. I can see it in the way he looks at us." She takes a deep breath. Tears brim in her eyes, but she doesn't cry. "The cats of ThunderClan would never accept me, just because of who my father was. I was never at home there. That's why... that's why I came here." She looks at Smokepaw meaningfully. "Do you think I'll be accepted here?"
Emotion has never been Smokepaw's strong point; he leaves those sorts of things to Talonpaw. But he gives her what he knows is the correct answer, and the one she wants to hear: "Yes."
They sit there for awhile, in a quiet but comfortable silence. When they finally get up and walk back to camp, Tawnypaw seems a lot happier, a lot bouncier, a lot more excited; almost as though she is a different cat.
Leave it to Tigerstar to break her just as she had been put back together. "Cats of TigerClan!" the great leader booms from atop the Bonehill, just as they arrive back at camp. "The time has come for us to gather with WindClan and ThunderClan, and convince them to join us! Warriors, come!" he leaps down from the ledge, and within seconds spots Tawnypaw and Smokepaw and bounds up to them.
As always, Smokepaw feels a shiver run down his spine in the presence of the strong, mighty leader. But the fearsome leader's attention isn't focused on him.
"Tawnypaw. You should come with us, and convince your brother to join us," he meows gruffly, which Smokepaw supposes is his attempt at softness.
Tawnypaw nods shyly, and follows his father as he moves towards his assembled warriors. Smokepaw starts to follow, but the leader turns on him with an intimidating fire in his fierce amber eyes.
"What do you think you're doing, apprentice?" Tigerstar growls.
Smokepaw shrinks and lowers his head under his leader's fiery gaze. "Nothing, Tigerstar."
"That's right," Tigerstar hisses. "You stay right here back at camp and follow orders." He turns back to his daughter. "Come along now, Tawnypaw."
Smokepaw wishes he could follow, and can't help a spark of jealousy as he sees his fellow apprentices, Rowanpaw and Cedarpaw, among Tigerstar's warriors. He catches Cedarpaw's eye, and the older apprentice gives him a sympathetic shrug; he guesses that Smokepaw wants to come, and assumes it is because the young apprentice wants to prove himself. He doesn't know any better - but then, neither does Smokepaw.
Rowanpaw sees Smokepaw's forlorn expression, and shoots him an arrogant smirk. Smokepaw glares back, but can't find it in himself to care. He has never liked Rowanpaw, and the two share a mutual loathing, though Smokepaw can't exactly recall why.
Of the two older brothers, Smokepaw had always been fonder of Cedarpaw, though fond isn't really the correct word. Smokepaw simply hates Rowanpaw but respects Cedarpaw, and is on friendly enough terms to call him an acquaintance. Maybe, if he weren't an antisocial, cynical little kit, he might call him a friend. But that's only if he wasn't antisocial and cynical.
Absorbed in his thoughts, he watches as the gathering party leaves camp. He wonders idly if ThunderClan and WindClan will join TigerClan, and knows from Oakfur's ramblings that they probably won't. Normally, the young apprentice wouldn't give a flying rat tail, but he can't help but wonder about Tawnypaw.
Lying in the chrysanthemums, Tigerstar's daughter had finally seemed to lift the weight of her former Clan off her shoulders, if only for a few stolen moments. But now Tigerstar had stolen them back, Smokepaw thinks bitterly. He trusts his leader, and looks up to him with almost supernatural awe and admiration, but he doesn't like his decision to thrust his fragile daughter onto the front lines of his battle. What Tawnypaw will do, he wonders, when faced with the choice between her brother and her father, her birth Clan and the all-powerful TigerClan?
He tells himself she'll chose TigerClan.
And then tells himself he doesn't care.
xx
Tigerstar takes a pace forward, his head raised challengingly. "Have you thought about my offer? I'm giving you the choice: join with me now and accept my leadership, or be destroyed."
Firestar exchanges a single glance with Tallstar. There is no need for words. They had already decided what their response must be.
Firestar speaks for them both. "We reject your offer. The forest was never meant to be ruled by one Clan, especially not one led by a dishonorable murderer."
"But it will be." Tigerstar's voice is soft; he doesn't even try to defend himself against Firestar's accusation. "With or without you, Firestar, it will be. By sunset today, the time of four Clans will be over."
"The answer is still no," Firestar meows. "ThunderClan will never submit."
"Nor will WindClan," adds Tallstar.
"Then your courage is matched only by your stupidity," growls Tigerstar.
He pauses, his gaze raking the warriors of WindClan and ThunderClan. Firestar hears snarls from the TigerClan warriors behind their leader and forces himself not to flinch away from their glittering eyes and bristling fur. For a few heartbeats not a cat moves, and Firestar braces himself for Tigerstar's order to attack.
Then he hears a choking sound beside him, and a single word gasps out: "Tawnypaw!"
Bramblepaw stands rigid at Firestar's shoulder, staring into the ranks of their enemies. Following his gaze, Firestar spots the young she-cat standing close beside Oakfur, a ShadowClan warrior.
"What is she doing there?" That is Brackenfur, thrusting himself forward to stand at Firestar's other side. "Tigerstar did steal her!"
"Steal her?" There is a purr in Tigerstar's voice. "Not at all. Tawnypaw came to us willingly."
Firestar doesn't know whether to believe him or not. Tawnypaw is looking down at the ground as if she didn't want to meet the eyes of her brother and her former mentor.
"Be brave, Tawnypaw." Rowanpaw brushes warmly against her flank. "You're our Clanmate now - we'll protect you."
Tawnypaw looks to him gratefully, then back down at her paws, blushing as she feels the eyes of every cat present fall on her.
Firestar has to admit that she doesn't look like a prisoner; instead she just looks uncomfortable being at the center of attention.
"Tawnypaw!" Bramblepaw calls. "What are you doing? You're a ThunderClan cat - come back to us!"
Firestar winces at the pain in the young cat's voice.
"Just don't speak," whispers Rowanpaw, standing firmly at Tawnypaw's side. "Let our leader, your father, do the talking. He'll pull you through."
Tawnypaw says nothing.
"No, Bramblepaw," Tigerstar meows. "You come to us. Your sister made the right choice..."
Rowanpaw watches the pain and regret and sorrow and guilt and conflict - and how could a cat so young have eyes so deep? - flash through Tawnypaw's eyes, and for a moment is afraid that she will defy Tigerstar and run across the invisible abyss to stand at her brother's side in ThunderClan.
And he sees the pain regret sorrow guilt conflict tearing her apart inside, as Bramblepaw yowls, "Join you? After everything you've done? I'd rather die!"
Rowanpaw brushes up against Tawnypaw, just to keep her from collapsing to the ground. "Be strong," he whispers. "I'm here."
Rowanpaw doesn't know why he cared for her, or why he chose to offer and share his strength; ever since he'd become an apprentice five long moons ago, and even before, the same ShadowClan ideals had been beaten into his head time and time again, and knows it is wrong to care for another. But Tawnypaw is different - he doesn't know why or how, but she is. And Rowanpaw is not used to failure, and not getting what he wants, and in that moment, he decides that Tawnypaw will be his.
She looks up at him with gratefulness and happiness and joy and relief and meaning in her big bright green eyes, and Rowanpaw feels his heart skip a beat. "Thanks, Rowanpaw," she mews, leaning against him.
And so she leans into him, and clings to him, and trembles as Firestar tells her father's story - and thinks of how he doesn't respect her, will never respect her, and how she is glad she ran away to ShadowClan.
She clings to Rowanpaw as Tigerstar yowls "Traitor!" at Scourge, and leaps at him with claws extended, and screams with her father and watches, watches, watches numbly as he falls to the ground and life flows from him in the form of red, sticky blood. And somehow the bright crimson blood makes her think of Smokepaw's chrysanthemums, that had smelled so nice and made her feel at peace, and she realizes that the mums are the polar and complete opposite of her father dying and the real world shattering right before her eyes... the chrysanthemums are what she wants, but she knows she can never have.
She doesn't even remember walking back to TigerClan camp, only that Rowanpaw lead her the whole way. She doesn't notice Rowanpaw shoving Smokepaw out of the way as he runs to her in worry; she simply walks like a zombie back to camp, and collapses in the den.
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A/N: I apologize if that all made no sense. I was trying to get into everyone's heads, and I realize that it came out as just confused ramblings... hopefully you undestood it anyways. As far as the plot (or lack of thereof) goes, does anyone see what I'm getting at?
Also, in terms of Tawnypaw's character. I know that Tawnypelt ends up as a strong, independent cat, but remember, Tawnypaw is very different. I'm working to keep her in character as she makes that transition, and feedback is always appreciated. :)
