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Chapter 9 – (has no name because I just couldn't think of anything that felt right)

He had to give me his permission, he just had to! I was crouched down on the pavement next to my car, my head resting against the door, trying to catch my breath. I was in agony. I felt as if an epic war was currently being fought inside of me. The desire to rush to Renesmee's side, sweep her into my arms, and tell her everything was dueling with the responsibility of the understanding Edward and I had come to. The knowledge that I had been causing her pain had me dying inside. I sat back on the pavement and rested my head on my knees; if I didn't calm down and get it together the trust Edward had put in me would be for naught. He's going to say yes. I repeated it over and over again in my mind like some sort of healing mantra.

I slowly dialed the numbers taking another deep calming breath before putting the phone to my ear. It rang a few times before a melodic female voice answered. Huh? I swear I dialed Ed's number.

"Hello? Jake? Is everything ok?" Oh. Bella.
"I… I thought I dialed Ed's number Bell's, sorry."
"You did, he's playing piano right now, is everything alright?"
"I need to talk to Ed, I said… I said I wouldn't tell Ness I'd imprinted on her until he gave the ok, but Bells… I need to do it NOW. She's hurting and it's killing me, please tell me I can tell her. Please."

I was begging. I didn't care, I was desperate.

"… I can't give you permission for something I wasn't even aware of Jake… I'll give the phone to Edward."
"Hello?" Ed's voice this time.
"You've gotta give me permission Ed. I've got to tell her now, she's upset and hurting, and… and… she's been trying to get me to imprint on her Ed. I've been trying to be good, I swear I have. But she blurted it out and I can't live with myself knowing I'm the one causing her so much pain. Please just let me tell her."
"I just don't think she's ready for something so intense yet Jake. You're going to have to wait until I say it's ok… You do however have my permission to make your feelings for her known. Only that Jake, you understand?"

I was up on my feet and walking back towards the house before he'd even finished his sentence. "Alright, love-yes, imprint-no. Got it. Bye." I hung up the phone before he could say anything that may put a damper on the elation coursing through my system. I was going to tell Ness I loved her! I faltered in my steps. But how? I shook my head and squared my shoulders, it didn't matter how, all that mattered was that I was going to tell her.

I walked inside and nearly collided with Willow coming down the stairs, her arms full of towels. "Well hello tall, dark, and red." "Hey Tree. Let me carry those for you." She handed over the towels and grinned. "Well look at you being all gentlemanly and junk. You reconsidering my proposition?" she winked; looping her arm through mine and continuing to the living room. "Do you ever give up?" I asked. "Nope" she said still grinning. We walked through the doorway and I stopped short at the sight I saw there.

Ness was still sitting next to Seth on the couch, except she was now curled in a ball cradled against Seth's side, her face against his chest. He had his arm around her and his head resting on hers. I held back a growl; jealousy blinding me for a moment. Seth noticed us standing in the doorway and turned his head a little to whisper in her ear. Her head shot up and she looked directly at me. Her wide chocolate colored eyes were gleaming with unshed tears. My stomach fell to my feet. There he is trying to comfort her because you've hurt her, and you're standing here nearly shaking with jealous wolfy possessiveness. Idiot! Willow cleared her throat quietly. I glanced over to see her staring at me like she was waiting for something. I wracked my brain quickly trying to think of what it was she could possibly want. Oh. Oops.

"Willow this is our friend Seth, Seth this is Nessie's friend Willow." I watched as he slowly unwrapped his arm from around Ness, stood, and walked towards us as if in a trance. He stopped directly in front of her and stared deep into her eyes. I felt her arm drop from its linked position with mine. "Hello Willow" he said huskily. What the hell? I looked over to see her reaction. She was staring right back at him, for once she said nothing, just stood staring at him. Wow… never thought I'd see the day when that girl was at a loss for words. "Would you like to go for a walk Willow?" She nodded her head numbly as he took her hand and walked her slowly out of the room.

I turned back to Ness to see a single tear making its way down her cheek. I dropped the towels and was on my knees in front of her before it could drop from her cheek. I reached up and gently stroked the tear from her cheek with the pad of my thumb. "Tell me why you're crying." It was half plea, half demand. She responded with a soft hiccup and shocked me by throwing herself into my arms.

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RENESMEE'S POV

I was the biggest idiot to ever step foot on the planet. I had just so completely and thoroughly embarrassed myself there was no way I was ever going to recover; I was sure of it. How could you be so stupid Renesmee Carlie Cullen? How could you just blurt that out right in front of Jacob of all people? I shook off the hand that Seth was still holding and covered my face with both hands. I was so angry with myself, with Willow and Seth, Jacob, and just life in general I was on the verge of tears. "Aw Ness, come here" Seth said wrapping his arm around me. I curled my body into a ball hugging myself and leaned into the warmth radiating off of Seth that was so much like Jacob's.

"What do I do Seth?" I moaned into his chest. Tears filled my eyes and I hurriedly blinked them back. "I just figured out that I love him and now I feel like I'm dying because I don't know if he loves me back, and I've been trying to get him to imprint on me, I even had him circle the pictures so I could try to be more like what he thought was perfect, and if he doesn't imprint on me and he loves me what's going to happen when he finally imprints on someone else, am I going to end up like your sister Seth?" I blurted out suddenly having developed a case of verbal diarrhea. "Whoa there Ness, breathe." He rubbed his hand up and down my arm reassuringly. "You know what I think Ness? I think you worry too much. Just calm down. If Jacob doesn't love you he doesn't deserve you." I smiled crookedly up at him "Have you been watching talk shows Seth? That sounded suspiciously like something Oprah would say." "Don't try to change the subject Ness" he said avoiding answering me. I bet he had been watching Oprah, he was such a goof. I sighed and smashed my face into his chest again mumbling "You're the best big brother I never had Seth." He chuckled and sighed resting his head on top of mine.

"Ness, Jake is back, and he's staring at you." I gasped and brought my head up quickly. He really was staring at me. Our eyes met and held before Seth got up and walked to Willow. Jacob turned to watch the interaction between the two but I continued to watch Jacob, not seeing or hearing what was going on around me I was so focused. He's never going to imprint on you Renesmee. You might as well get over it. You saw Seth with Willow, it was the first time he'd ever seen her, and he imprinted right away. I decided at that exact moment I didn't care if he imprinted on me, I loved him and I was going to take what time I had with him and enjoy it as much as possible before it was taken away from me. The realization had my eyes filling with more tears and one slowly spilled out.

Jacob was on his knees in front of me in a heartbeat staring up into my eyes. One of his big warm hands came up cupping my face and his thumb wiped away the singular tear. "Tell me why you're crying" he said. The words I so desperately wanted to say came out as a pitiful hiccup instead. I would just show him. I launched myself at him desperately wrapping my arms around his neck. I felt his muscles bunch and stiffen before his strong arms closed around me in a vise-like grip. We sat like that, just holding one another on the floor, for what seemed like hours before I finally eased the strangle hold I had on his neck and leaned back looking at his face.

This was my Jacob. I didn't care about any stupid imprinting. He had always been mine; I wasn't going to let anything change that. I stared at his face memorizing every little thing about him. Every single detail from the way his shaggy hair fell down haphazardly into his eyes; to the dimples that appeared every time he smiled or laughed. I brought a hand from around his neck to trace his face. I swept my fingers over his strong brow and down over his jaw line till I cupped his chin. "You're so beautiful Jacob." I whispered. I watched his wide luscious lips curve up in a smile, his bright white teeth against the russet color of his skin dazzling me.

"I should hate you Jacob." I continued whispering. The smile I'd been dazzled by quickly disappeared as his face fell. "It would make things so much easier… I wouldn't have to see the way other girls look at you, I wouldn't have to feel this terrible ache inside me, I wouldn't have to worry about you imprinting on some other girl and losing my Jacob forever." He started to say something and I quickly brought my finger up from his chin, pressing it to his lips. "Hush" I said needing to continue. His lips against my fingers were sending pulses of electricity straight up my arm and into my heart. I gasped and ran my finger back and forth against his lips curious to see if it would stop. I wonder if they will do that against my lips. I shook my head clearing it so I could finish. "I can't hate you Jacob… "I put both hands on his cheeks and let all the love I felt for him flow through my hands and into his mind.

JACOBS POV

She put her hands on my face and I gasped at the onslaught; closing my eyes. I could feel her emotions flooding through my mind, body, and soul; our separate loves swirling and churning together before combining and exploding inside me as if due to some chemical reaction. I felt the bond that held me to her glimmer slightly before blazing to life, it grew and grew, increasing in its warmth and splendor until finally it engulfed us both in such vividness that she gasped; feeling it too. My eyes snapped open piercing into hers. "Can you feel it Renesmee?" She nodded, her eyes growing wider. I splayed my fingers against her back where I held her to me and concentrated on everything I was feeling, trying to push it inside her. My hands suddenly tingled and she gasped; throwing her head back and arching into me. When I was sure every last ounce of the love inside me had flowed into her I took my hands off her back.

She collapsed against me taking in deep ragged breaths. She brought her hands down from my face and onto my shoulders, sitting upright. The bond no longer engulfed us with the loss of contact, but I felt it still, somehow changed. Stronger. I got up holding her against me and sat on the edge of the couch sitting her on my knees. She had a somewhat glazed look in her eye, staring at me as if she were looking through me instead of at me. "You love me?" She whispered in shock. "Do you really have to ask?" I questioned her. Coming back to reality she smiled shyly "No, but it would be nice to hear you say it."

I pulled her tight against my chest holding her against me. "Renesmee Carlie Cullen, I love you." "I love you too Jacob, so very much." She relaxed, melting against me.

We sat like that, cocooned in our own little bubble of love, when suddenly it burst. A loud scream rent through the air from somewhere nearby and Willow appeared in the doorway shaking and out of breath. Ness was at her side instantly. "What happened Willa? Why did you scream?" she asked reaching out to her, but Willow cringed, backing away.

"That… that thing you brought over here Ren… he took me out in the woods and he… he… turned into some kind of giant bear wolf thing right in front of my eyes!" she gasped out. Oh no Seth, what have you done?

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Ok, I know it's another short chapter. But I'm seriously loving this cliffhanger at the end of each chapter thing. Lol. Thank you everyone for your kind reviews. What did you guys think of the love showing paragraph????? Review and let me know!