Beyond help
Author: KoriSevenEleven
Summary: Kori is a unique girl…she has morphing powers, she is actually well over 100 years old though she looks 16…and she's got some serious boy problems.
Chapter 02
Six months passed.
I hadn't gone out to search for him anymore, fearing more for his safety than my own.
Kevin had tried to get me looking for him again, saying that he needed to be brought back and shown the 'light'…whatever that meant. Ben tried too, as well as his cousin Gwen (though she was told that Robin was an ex- that I was still pining over)…but nothing that they said reached me.
Eventually, Kevin got sick of me moping around his and Ben's apartment and flat out told me that I could either get my act together and drag his sorry ass back here, or I could get out and not come back.
So, that's why I'm sitting on the edge of the pier, listening to the construction crew working behind me as they started putting up stands, kiosks and rides for the summer. I leaned back on the hot wood of the floor and look up at the cloudless blue sky.
'Pain,
without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it
rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
You're
sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by
the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand
This
life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me
and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand'
I knew that feeling all too well. Having come from a whole separate planet not even from this galaxy, I felt truly isolated. My father had been the head of the military for my home planet and my mother had been human.
'Come on, going out into rainstorms is fun!'
A hand is held out.
The hand is grasped as if letting go would tear him out of reality…because as far as he was concerned, it would.
'Pain,
without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it
rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain,
without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it
rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain,
without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it
rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain,
without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it
rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing
Rather feel
pain'
For a long time, I actually encouraged Robin's isolated attitude. Knowing how it feels to lose pretty much everything you care about in one fell swoop, I would, more often than not, join him in his sulking.
However, I broke out of it with help from Bruce and his rigorous training, and eventually pulled Robin into it, thinking it would help him too…fat lot of good that did.
'I
know (I know I know I know I know)
That you're wounded
You know
(You know you know you know you know)
That I'm here to save
you
You know (You know you know you know you know)
I'm always
here for you
I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you'll
thank me later'
He confided in me once that he truly felt as if I'd saved him…despite the fact that whenever we were sent out to patrol Gotham, he would do most of the fighting with me only joining in when needed.
When I asked him how I'd saved him, he simply replied,
"You were always there for me."
I had smiled and retorted,
"Yeah well, you can thank me later."
'Pain,
without love
Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like it
rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain,
without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it
rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain,
without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it
rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather
feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain'
I wish that now I could help him. I knew that I was letting him down by ignoring him and it hurt to picture his face or imagine what he's feeling right about now…but I'd given him a choice to come back with me and help me and Terry protect Gotham, or risk a potentially deadly encounter in the future…
He chose to continue living in his pain filled world…
'If
you feel so empty
So used up, so let down
If you feel so
angry
So ripped off so stepped on
You're not the only
one
Refusing to back down
You're not the only one
So get up'
He wouldn't change his mind about coming back, that much I knew…
But I also knew that he knew that he and I were the same; we both felt like we've been stepped on, ripped off, used and let down…me by Kevin (though he's still currently making up for abandoning me) and Robin by Batman (because he was the side-kick whose name no one ever remembered while Batman was well known and received all the credit for a bust).
'Let's
start a riot, a riot
Let's start a riot
Let's start a riot, a
riot
Let's start a riot
If you feel so filthy
So dirty
so fucked up
If you feel so walked on
So painful so pissed
off
You're not the only one
Refusing to go down
You're not
the only one
So get up'
A few months after Bruce first adopted Robin, back when he was still Dick Grayson; he was taken to a doctor who diagnosed him as having acute paranoia and chronic depression.
He was given medication to take for these 'diseases', but he never took them. He said that he didn't want to be dependant on drugs his whole life, since if an enemy found out, all they'd have to do is taint the pills and he'd be dead within minutes.
I agreed with him on that much, but it was hard to ignore his increasingly bad temper and isolation when his room was right across from mine and I could hear him up at all hours of the night; pacing, muttering to himself, swearing at the top of his voice and breaking what little possessions he had managed to get from the circus.
'Let's
start a riot, a riot
Let's start a riot
Let's start a riot, a
riot
Let's start a riot
If you feel so empty
So used up,
so let down
If you feel so angry
Just get up
Let's start
a riot, a riot
Let's start a riot
Let's start a riot, a
riot
Let's start a riot'
I rose to my feet and looked out into the sunset.
If he wanted to act the victim, play the part of angsty teenage superhero who has nothing good in his life, constantly dream of suicide just to escape his pain (I knew this from the massive brain waves emitting from the limbic system in his brain, meaning that he's still somewhere in Gotham, probably close by) them I'd help him escape it.
I turned my back on the bright colors of the setting sun, walked down the pier and toward the Manor where I knew Terry was just getting back form his nightly rounds.
If Batman wouldn't help me, then I'd do it myself.
Not only would I help Robin finally be free of his pain, but I would also help myself be rid of mine…
Killing two birds with one stone.
