Sorry it took me some time to update. My father was, unexpected, in the hospital with serious heart problems. Luckily he is doing good now, but it has been quite a stress full week for me.
My breath choked in my throat when I saw a blonde, tall man in the doorway. Even though I had my shield up, in case Edward would be around, I could still feel the guilt coming towards me. "I really liked talking to you and I'd like to invite you in. But if you don't want to I understand." Emmet spoke beside me, while opening his door. I thought about it, why shouldn't I be able to go in there and see my old family again? To be honest Edward didn't effect me anymore the way he used to. "I would love to come in and meet everybody, Em." I spoke. "Okay, lets do this!" he boomed beside me.
I got out of my car and walked up to the front door, he was still standing there. He hadn't moved one inch from the moment that I drove up the gravel road. I looked at him and saw his pain, tears came to my eyes, tears that would never leave my eyes. When I stood before him I smiled and he, nervously, returned it. "Hi Jasper, it's good to see you" I whispered. "Hi Bella, it's been quite a while" Jasper said. Before he could move I had my arms around his neck, hugging him so tight that he would have been crushed if he was human. He hesitated at first, but then put his arms around me and hold me, with out saying a word. We stood there for a minute before we both let go. Even though I had never been really close to Jasper, it felt good to be in his arms.
"I never blamed you, you know" I said when we stopped hugging. "You should have, it was an inexcusable action" he replied. I thought back to my seventeenth birthday, Alice had threw me a birthday party, after I strongly told her I didn't want one. But I gave in, to make them happy, Alice said they haven't had a birthday party in a long, long time. When I cut my finger when slicing the cake Jasper had gone crazy. His animal instincts took control and he tried to attack me, Edward knocked me out of the way. "Jasper, it was your instinct. It wasn't as if you did it on purpose, you would never do that." I was almost angry with him. He hadn't hurt me, so he should not feel guilty for something that happened over 80 years ago. "I guess" he shrugged. "So, stop blaming yourself and blame me for being a stupid, clumsy human at the time" I said with a wink and a big smile, flashing my teeth.
He laughed and I could feel the guilt disappear. Now that I saw him with my vampire seeing, I noticed the scars on his face. Somehow they didn't scare me, they intrigued me. I had always wondered what his story was, but he was never the storyteller when I was around. "Are we gonna go inside or what?" Emmett boomed at us, still waiting for one of us to move. I turned and smiled at him, it all felt so good. So natural, being around them and talking to them. Like we were never apart, like this was where I belonged. "Yes Em, lets go. I cant wait to see Esme and Carlisle and my best friend. Hell, I am even looking forward to see Rosalie."
The house was perfect, it was big and white on the outside with lots of windows, just like the one in Forks used to be. But inside the house I could definitely see Esme's touch, she loved to decorate and I could see she still had the same passion as she did al those years ago. The walls were a beautiful, pure colour of white and there were beautiful pieces of art on them. I even noticed Carlisle fathers wooden cross and the graduation caps. I made my way to the living room and saw Esme cleaning, she was really fond of here home and anyone who broke something or made it dirty would definitely be sorry. "Hi mom" I spoke so soft, to soft for human ears.
Esme turned away from the enormous flats screen she was cleaning and she stared at me in disbelief. "Oh my.. Bella is it really you?" she said while tears came to her eyes. "Yes, I am really here. Its been to long." She run op to me in vampire speed and hugged me, gently and overloaded with me with the feeling of love. I started to let out dry sobs and she kissed my hair, holding me close to her body. "Oh God, how I have missed you. My daughter, I cant even try to explain how glad I am to see you again. I didn't think I would get the chance." She softly spoke to me, while calming me with her arms rubbing my back.
When I was calm again Esme and I sat down at the kitchen table and talked, Emmett was playing on his new PS3 and Jasper was on the couch reading a book. I asked them not to go tell Rose and Alice because I wanted to surprise them. Esme wanted to know the same things that Em had wanted to know and I told her everything, not leaving one detail out of my story. Accept for the state I was in the week after they left. I knew Esme would blame herself for that and that was not necessary, she wasn't the one that left me alone in the woods that day and broke my heart in to tiny pieces. That was Edward. She insisted that I would bring my family over sometime this week, she wanted to meet the people that had taken such good care of me over the years. I told her I would ask them because I think they would love to meet the Cullens as well.
"Emmet, where can I find Rosalie?" I decided to save Alice for lest, leaving my little pixie friend in the unknown for a bit. "Uhm, well I guess you can find here in the garage were she's probably tuning her car or something" he said, not looking up from his PS3 game Need For Speed. After Jasper gave me directions, and Esme trying to cuddle me to death, I went to the garage. I saw Rosalie, her head under the hood of a car I hadn't seen before so I guess it was a new one to her collection. It was a Bentley Continental GT, a dark blue one. I liked it, Rose always had a good taste in cars I had to admit.
"Hi Rose, miss me?" I spoke loudly. BANG! She hit her head on the hood and cursed while looking in my direction to see who made her hit her head. She froze when she saw me and her eyes got even bigger then they already were. "Bella? What.. How… When?" she started mumbling. "I'll tell you everything you want to know but I would like to now if you missed me first." I said while smiling at her. Before I knew it she was in front of me and after some hesitating she hugged me, it was brief but she definitely hugged me. I stood there, like a statue, in disbelief. Did Rose just hug me? "Oh my.. I didn't think I would ever see you again. I did miss you, though it's hard to belief after the way I treated you. But I was just jealous, I mean you were human and had the chance to live an normal life. Have children and do al of those humans things, I will never get that chance and that is why I pretended to hate you, you were willing to give up all the things I wished I had and could do" she said in return.
"Rosalie, why did you never tell me this? Al this time I thought you hated me, resented me. And I couldn't understand why or what I did to you." I told her. I saw the tears, that would never fall, in her eyes. This shouldn't have come as a surprise, who wouldn't be hurt by the mean things she has said to me? "I couldn't. I have my pride, you know. If I would have told you this from the beginning, all this personal stuff.. it would have been to much for me. I don't open up so easily to strangers or to any one to be honest." I did understand what she mend, I just wished she had confided me. All this time I thought she really hated me, even though I did nothing to upset her. "I forgive you, Rose. I can see why you did the things you did, even though it did really hurt at the time, I can understand your reasons." I spoke to her. And before I knew it I was getting my second, yes really second, hug from Rosalie. Of course she wanted to know everything, but I didn't feel like repeating the same story over and over again so I told her that I would tell her everything and answer all of her questions as soon as I informed Alice and Carlisle that I was kind of alive. I didn't see any reason to tell Edward in person, it wasn't as if he cared.
Rose told me that Alice and Carlisle were in his study, Alice had taken an interest in medicine but she wasn't quite sure to start studying it. She was afraid it would increase her shopping time, I chuckled at the thought how this would feel to Alice. Shopping was still everything to her, the second most important thing in her life besides Jasper of course. The build of the house was almost the same as the one in Forks, so the study wasn't hard to find. I just had to follow the voices if I would get lost, it surprised me that they hadn't heard me yet. It didn't surprise me that Alice didn't knew I was here, I still had my shield up – it was becoming a habit. I stopped in front of the door where the voices were coming from and gently knocked on the door. The voices stopped and I imagined the surprised look on Alice's face and tried to keep my laughter down as much as possible. "Come in" I heard Carlisle saying, hesitating. And then I opened the door and step in to the office facing two suspicious and surprised vampires.
It would be nice if we could all just sit together
Would be great if we could have a cup of everything
Would be lovely to see all your faces smiling
Come on and give me your little grin
Could be wonderful if all the shit I sing about is happening
And it turns out to be we're a happy family
But all these families break, everybody's on the take
All that matters today the kind of money that you make
But all these families break, everybody's on the take
All that matters today, merry christmas anyway
It would be nice if we could all just live together
would be great if could feel a bit of sympathy
would be lovely if we all stood up together
it's gotta be like a commercial on tv
would be wonderfull if all the shit i sing about is happening
but it turns out te be
there's no happy family
'cause all things baffling great
everybody's on the take
all that matters today
the kind of money that you make
'cause all things baffling great
everybody's on the take
cold turkey today
merry christmas anyway
It would be nice if we could all just sit together
it would be great if we could have a little fun
would be nice if we could be a happy family today
today
today
today
