In the view of Grace Eckridge
I didn't know what hurt more, the hunger or the cuts along my arms. But I did know the sun was no help. My bare feet were constantly being cut in the dirt as I dragged my tired body through this wasteland. I had no idea where I was, but I was far from safety.
If I could guess, it seemed about 2:45 pm. But what did I know? I hadn't seen a clock in over 24 hours. My guess was as good as a child's.
My breathes were getting shorter every minute as I sluggishly walked, and walked, and walked. There was no where to go, no signs for the right direction, not even a mirage to lift my spirits. I was dead walking.
I didn't know why I strode on through the endless desert. I guess there wasn't anything else I could do to stop myself from dying here.
Being alone in the middle of nowhere gives you serious time to think about all the mistakes you've made in life. I had always wanted to go to Spain, I wanted to professionally sing, I wanted to get married...
I really wished I hadn't been so uptight when it came to fun. I missed so many parties in college because I was afraid. I always felt I was going to embarrass myself.
I was just glad I got to spend the last year with All Time Low. Jack, Zack, Rian, and even Alex made life a little sweeter and worth living. I hope they don't miss me.
My head stung as the wind threw some dirt up into the slightly healed cuts on my forehead. My entire body was ripped to shreds and destroyed from whatever those people did to me. I shuddered, wrapping my broken body around myself. I felt lonely and lost in a sea of nothing.
For miles, there was nothing but sky. It would've been pretty if it wasn't a damn death sentence. The bright blueness nearly felt like a box, slowly closing in on me, forcing me to race against time to live. I didn't like this game of escape.
Every step I took, my head felt lighter. I was hungry, tired, and stupid. My mind was close to shutting down completely. All I needed was something to make me keep going.
Suddenly, Jack popped up into my mind. His addictive smile and bright, warm eyes made my heart race. Jack was my inspiration to keep moving. To stay alive. Just the thought of being reunited was like my own personal mirage.
With a fierce pain in my head, I could feel my body wobbling to a stop. My surroundings were spinning around me like I was on a bad kiddie ride at the fair. My eyes nearly rolled into the back of my head. I could feel the hot dirt against my ruined skin. I had fallen to the ground, but I felt like I was strapped down. All the weight in the world was keeping me down.
I was pretty sure I was dying. My mind was going blank, my sight was fading, the pain was slightly numbed. But I could've sworn I heard my name being shouted from a distance. Everything was finally closing in, death was near. I said my goodbyes to the world and let my eyelids fall.
Goodbye...
If this was what heaven was like, heaven was painful. My entire body felt strapped down to an uncomfortable bed in the corner of a poorly lit room. I thought the gates of heaven were easy and blissful, that lead to clouds and sunshine. I was robbed of my peaceful death.
I felt like I was hungover, my head buzzing, my stomach lurching, my eyes sensitive to the light and my body numb.
My eyes were merely slits, opening as slowly as possible. But once my eyes were open enough, the area around me was blurred. But I could still tell I was in some sort of hospital. The dull walls with machines everywhere kind of gave it away.
I assumed I was hooked up to an IV, considering my arms hurt like hell. I could feel something under my nose, and another something wrapped around my ankle. So I was literally strapped down.
The room was finally clear. It was empty, and the window told me it was some time in the night. I shivered at the cold, hospital air.
So I didn't get to heaven, whatever. I would've been grateful if I wasn't in so much pain.
It took me 3 seconds to realize I wasn't alone. I was gently moving my arm when I nudged some other person. Alex's startled gasp made my eyes grow wide and my frown turn into a weak grin.
Alex had scooted me over when I was sleeping so he could chill. Typical Alex.
"Good morning sunshine." he said, kissing my forehead.
I was still too out of it to talk, so I nodded.
"You're finally awake." he smiled, "You are currently at the hospital of Baltimore, sweet cakes."
"Hmmm." was all I could say.
"I'm glad you're OK Grace, I really am." he said, putting his head on my shoulder. I smiled. I felt like this was the real Alex Gaskarth, not the one he puts on everyday.
"A-A-A Alex?" I mumbled. My words came out mostly muffled, but he heard me.
"Yeah?"
"What t-t-time is it?" I asked.
"It's about 2:30 in the morning." he said, checking his watch.
"No o-offense, but why are y-you here? S-shouldn't you be sleeping?" I murmured.
"I was, but I was worried about you, so I came and chilled her." he said, extending his arm around my shoulders, avoiding my IV.
"Thanks Alex." I said, laying my head on his chest.
"No problem."
I just lied there, thinking. Alex was such an amazing friend, I didn't deserve him. It just kind of sucked that hurt him last summer. But at least we were friends again. Even if he was an attention-hogging alcoholic. I still loved him like a brother.
"Alex? I'm really sorry." I said after minutes passed.
"Sorry for what?" he asked, honestly confused.
"That I hurt you."
"Grace, that was last year, I'm fine." he said.
"Are you sure?" I whispered, peering up at him.
"You chose Jack, and he loves you and you love him. Sure as hell." he answered.
"OK." was all I could manage.
"Really Grace. Jack makes you happy." Alex said.
I didn't feel any better, so I looked down at my hands.
"Things will be OK Grace, don't worry." Alex unwrapped his arm and reached down to intertwine his fingers with mine. It didn't matter that there was a horrifically painful IV attached to that arm. Alex made me forgot that.
"Grace..." he whispered.
I slowly tilted my head up towards Alex. He was already looking down at me. It was almost like I felt something pulling me towards him. I was suddenly closing my eyes and leaning in for a casual kiss, and so was he.
What was I doing?
I didn't care. Jack wouldn't mind one sweet little kiss. I hoped.
It lasted 3 seconds and was completely close-mouthed. Once I was back in reality, I snuggled my way away from his face. I couldn't let it go any further.
"Goodnight Alex."
"Goodnight Grace."
[Theres a bit more to come :) reviews are fabulous :) peace out girl scout ~Gabby]
