Compulsive Noties
So I've decided, in this story, Sasori's a sculptor, Dei-chan's a painter, and you know, draw-er i guess? and Itachi's a bitch. And really OOC, but that's okay as long as there's a semi-good cat fight ;D Anyways, I was in a rather bad mood when I finished this chapter and didn't end it like I had originally planned. I'm not quiet sure what will happen next, but it's gonna be something cool...you just wait!
An hour dissipated quickly running from the restaurant to Sasori's and back to my place. Kisame pulled up within minutes of us in my car, Itachi right behind him in his. I stepped off my porch and over to Kisame to get my keys. Snatching them from his hand I gave him a look that held both anger and disappointment.
"And you couldn't answer your phone yesterday, why?" I asked, through curled lips.
"My fault." Itachi spat, roughly. We never did really get along.
"Hey, hooker." I said, sneering.
"Hey, slut." We exchanged mean faces before he opened his mouth again. "So whose the new butt buddy? How long you gonna keep this one, two days?" I shook my head, slowly and moved the lower half of my jaw to the right half an inch before just about charging at the beastly, black haired, bastard. But Kisame held me back.
"Now, now you too. I've asked that this be made right! I know you hate each other but, Itachi-chan, Dei-kun has been my friend for some time now, and Deidara-kun, Itachi-han is my boyfriend, if you could refrain from punching his teeth out, I would be very happy." I shook out of Kisame's hold and stomped passed Sasori, grabbing his hand as I passed by before sharply turning around one last time.
"And you know what, hooker, I hope your fucking cat dies in your arms. Wouldn't be the first time something left ya'."
"Whatever, slut. C'mon Kisame, let's go before we catch something from that dirty prick." I shook off the last comment, though Kisame was going to have to pay for telling him about my past. I unlocked the door and angrily rushed to sit on the couch.
The anger pent up inside of me had been rather tame for a while, but something about Itachi always re-lit a calmed fire. Sasori sort of looked blankly down at me from the place I'd let go of his hand and continued walking from.
"I...I'm sorry..." I whispered, still somewhat enraged. Sasori came to sit next to me and placed a hand over my shoulder pushing it past my neck and to the other shoulder before pulling me into an embrace.
"Deidara-chan..." He began. His words soothed my flared soul. His cool touch put out the fire that had just upreared inside of me. He kissed my forehead, and nuzzled my temple. "Dei...your so...flawed...and so beautiful. You worry so much about what other think?" He asked, turning my head and lifting my chin to look him in the eye.
"Yes..."
"Well you shouldn't. The only person in this whole wide world that knows you completely...is you. So that...guy...well, he doesn't matter. His words won't make or break you...and he's not going to constantly be a person in your life controlling what's going to happen to you. The only person you should be trying to empress is yourself. Now...are you happy with you?"
I nodded. "I guess so..."
"Then that's all that should matter. Because even if you told me you going to go get bird feathers implanted in your butt to make you a peacock, I'd still feel the same about you..." There was a moment of silence, before he laughed softly, and covered his mouth, looking away.
"I wouldn't do that, though..." I said, smiling.
"That's not why I'm laughing..." He whispered.
"Then why are you laughing?" I asked removing myself from his arms. He paused, pondering of what to say I suppose.
"I think...I think I'm falling for you..." My smile broadened, and I laid my head back on his chest, and listened to his fast paced heart beat.
"Sasori-danna...I think I'm falling for you too..." He laced his fingers through my hair. For that moment, I knew that something was completely right here. "Sasori-danna?"
"Yes?"
"Can I draw you?" He sighed, and I felt his head shift place, and drop the piece of hair he'd twirled around his finger.
"Why would you want to draw me?" He asked, sounding almost perplexed.
"Danna..." I said letting go, and pulling myself from his warm body. "Please...I just want you to see you...how I see you." We exchanged looks, mine pleading, his...blank.
"Okay..." I smiled and got up to go get my easel and pencil. When I came back out, he was sitting exactly as I had left him.
"Danna! Take off your shirt!" He quietly followed orders, and stripped himself of the useless article of clothing. "Now lay down. Relax...do whatever is comfortable." As I sat down to the blank piece of paper I wondered if I could really catch all that I really saw.
About fifteen minutes through he finally spoke up.
"I'm really a sculptor." He stated, monotone as usual.
"Really? Then why were you drawing me this morning?"
"Couldn't find my sculpting tools..." I sighed and continued drawing.
" I don't sculpt. I draw, constantly. I used to carry around sketchbooks with me, but it became a hassle when I was looking for a job."
"Did you find one?" He asked, raising his hand to scratch his head.
"No...but I won't actually need one for another year or so. I have enough money left over from bomb making to last that long...I might go back to college though. Then I'd really need a job."
"You never finished?"
"Making bombs took up most of my time...I sold my soul to those bombs...each bomb holds a little part of me inside of it. Bomb making really devoured my life. It's one of those things, well for me at least, that once you pick up, you have a hard to putting down until your satisfied with what's been done."
"Didn't it bother you that your bomb making could be hurting people?"
"You know, it did come across my mind once...I tried to picture someone being killed by my bomb and only saw those who had mocked me. I felt no remorse."
"Do you now?" He asked, shifting slightly.
"Picture them being bombed?"
"No, feel remorse."
"I don't know..." I said stopping my hand from drawing and looked at him from around the large sketchpad. "Should I?" He smiled,
"Not if you don't think you should." I shrugged and went back to the drawing.
"Some people had drugs, some had alcohol, some even depended on sex like I once had, but then I had bombs. Bombs wouldn't judge me, bombs wouldn't tell me I was wrong. Bombs wouldn't love me, nor care about me, but they were there. They were a creation of mine that no one would critique. And once I was done with it, it would move on to serve a purpose. Good or bad." Sasori stayed quiet after that, and I hoped I hadn't scared him.
"The blood doesn't have to be on your hands if you wipe it off. Perhaps...perhaps you enjoy the velvet, red colored, painless substance. As long as no one notices...as long as no one cares."
"I'm done." I said, ignoring the odd comment. He got up and walked over to me and looked at the piece of paper.
"Wow...do you really see me like that?" He asked, placing his elbow softly on my shoulder. I looked up at him, and smile broadly.
"So you like it?" He nodded.
"Will you ink it and paint it?"
"If you want me to." He leaned over and kissed me. It kinda caught me off guard, so I just looked at him wit but it didn't take long for me to kiss him back. We were lip locked for only a moment before I felt his tongue glide across my bottom lip. I cracked my lips and slid over his tongue with mine. It didn't take long for me to want more then just a kiss.
I tugged on the front of his jeans and hoped he'd catch on to my wordless talking.
"Right...here? Now?" He asked, already knowing the answer, because as I nodded my head, he was already unbuttoning his pants. He leaned in to kiss me again, and I whispered into his ear.
"Nothing romantic, just a quicky." Sasori abruptly stopped, and when I went back to kiss him it was much like one would compare to kissing a doll. With soft lips.
"No." He said, standing up straight, and buttoning his pants. "I'm not like those other guys, Deidara..." I stood up and threw my arms around him realizing the error in my ways. He didn't wrap his arms back around me, he just stayed statued. "Deidara...are you really changed?" It felt like a sharp pain had entered my chest.
"Danna...Danna no! I'm new!" I said, stepping back. "I'm not like I once was! Those were old ways...please believe me when I say I'm ready to lay it all out for you..." A wonder filled gaze took over his eyes.
"Deidara...your handsome...so delicate..." He placed a hand on my face, tracing every feature slowly. "You can't throw yourself at me like a piece of meat...I will only accept your body if you choose to do so as well as me. I...I want to be a part of you life...but I don't want it to be this part. Deidara-kun...I'm going to go." He turned to leave, but I grabbed his hand.
"They always told me...they always said this was the life I lead. And I don't want them to be right." By this time tears were streaming down my face. For the first time in years, I felt broken...maybe it was the straw that broke the camel's back. Maybe it was the fact that what I felt for this man wasn't like anything else I'd felt. Maybe for once instead of touch...I did want romance.
"Who are they?" He asked, mid-step.
"They are everyone. Everything. And most of all...they...they are the one thing I really hoped you weren't."
-:-
It was an hour we spent on the couch, sitting silenced lock in one another's eyes. After that it was a blur, lights went out and we both laid in bed, hand in hand...not really needing to say much more. So as of right now that's what we were doing. Just laying in bed. Enjoying each other's company.
"Will you hold me?" I asked, trying not to push the boundaries. I didn't want him to leave because he thought I was just looking for another fuck buddy.
"I-"
"Just hold me...that's all." He took a very deep breath and pulled me into his warmth. "I want your affection...in every way shape and form...I want the feeling I get when you hold me. I want the eternal hope you give me that I can feel love. I want...I want all that you can offer."
"All I can offer...is all I give to you...it's all I have to give, and all I will ever put forth. Don't ever for one second doubt my intentions. Because the moment you do I doubt yours."
"Will you kiss me..." I asked, feeling his breath flowing over my ear and neck. Lifting my head he kissed me.
"All I have to offer..."
I would have had this posted yesterday, but just as I was writing Author's notes, my mum told me to come eat Dx
