My apologies! I posted the wrong chapter last night! Really, really sorry! here's the real one!
Title: Right kind of wrong – Chapter 9
Author: kreia03
Rating: M
Warnings: Some swear words.
Disclaimer: I don't own Skins. I just wish I do. I seriously need a genie.
Summary: When Naomi said the wrong words.
A/N: Not beta'd so mistakes are purely mine. Thanks for all the comments! They really do keep me going!
The day was nearly drawing into a close yet, Naomi did not have the faintest idea where to go. She had been constantly driving for hours, her feet already hurting, her hands already tired from gripping and turning the steering wheel. She winced in pain as she tried to flex her fingers, which now seemed to be stuck on the wheel, feeling the blood rush in each and every tip. Every muscle, bone and joint of hers seemed to ache and swell due to her unfriendly encounter with Cook. She flinched at the thought of what had happened earlier, her tired, weary eyes instantaneously falling on the sleeping red head seated beside her. Emily was the only thing that was keeping her going at this particular moment. She knew she had already spent every ounce of her energy, but the sight of Emily peacefully sleeping seemed to inspire a new intensity of strength within her. She supposed it was all due to adrenaline rush, yet, at the back of her mind, she knew very well that it was something else, something deeper. Her eyes continued to flicker between the road and Emily for fear that the red head would suddenly disappear, fear that this was all a dream and that Emily was still in Cook's cruel, lustful hands. Yes, she knew it was utterly absurd but this was the only way she thought would calm her and make her feel at ease. She had never been scared that much in her life. In fact, she had always thought she would never be scared of anything. But this was entirely different, for she was not afraid for her life, instead, she was scared for Emily's, totally fucking scared that she would get hurt, or worse, be killed. The thought made her cringe, her grip on the steering wheel unconsciously tightening. She shook her head, trying to get rid of the distressing thought, and focused more on to where they should be heading. She felt Emily stir a little at her side, causing a lock of hair to stray and scatter on her cheek. She reached out and caught the lock, gently tucking it in behind the red head's ear, only to reveal the now dark bruise she never wanted to recall or see. The mere sight of it made her want to stop the car, wheel it around and go straight to Cook to end everything once and for all. But this wasn't the best time, not yet.
"Fuck him." She cursed under her breath, her gaze flickering back to the road, as the sight of the offending bruise seemed to instigate a huge amount of rage inside of her. She lifted her hand and pinched the bridge of her nose to prevent herself from shaking with anger. She heaved a labored breath as an attempt to compose herself and continue driving forward instead.
More hours had passed, Naomi's mind still struggling between going back to kill Cook and moving further to bring Emily to safety, when suddenly, an odd place popped up in her head. The very last place she would ever have thought of yet, probably the safest place for them to hide and stay for the meantime. Maneuvering the car on the detour route, she followed the road towards the place she had always thought she would never step in again.
O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O
A soft shake on the shoulders woke Emily up. She fluttered her eyes open, blinking a few times, as the face she had loved to see finally registered.
"Naomi." She mumbled, her voice still thick with sleep. She smiled at her.
"Hey Em." The blonde greeted back, cupping Emily's cheek, the pad of her thumb gently brushing the dark bruise she very much hated. "Does this still hurt?"
Emily's eyes first grew wide in shock as she remembered everything that occurred, squinting later on as she swatted Naomi's hand away from her. "Don't touch me." She warned, a certain amount of venom in her tone.
"What the fuck?" Naomi exasperated, throwing her hands up in the air. "You're still mad at me?"
"I never said I've forgiven you." Emily rolled her eyes and stepped out of the car, forgetting that her foot was still swelling. She winced as she took a step, nearly tumbling down when she felt the sudden jolt of pain rush in. Luckily, she got hold of the opened car door, allowing her to steady herself. Her nostrils flared upon hearing a laughing Naomi stepping out of the car.
"Come on, let me help you." The blonde offered, gnawing her lip to stop herself from laughing.
"I can take care of myself. I don't need your help." Emily retorted, slowly letting go of the car door to walk away from Naomi.
Naomi snorted and let out another laugh. "You don't even know where you're going." She shouted.
"I can find a motel on my own."
Naomi's laugh grew louder. "The motel's still a few kilometers away from here. With your foot like that, I doubt you'd make it by tonight, or even tomorrow. You'll end up sleeping on the pavement."
"I don't care, as long as I'm not with a killer like you." Emily snapped back, feeling her own anger and irritation rise.
The red head's words seemed to do the trick as Naomi felt them stung. "What's that supposed to mean?" She spat back.
"What do you think?" Emily hissed.
Naomi clenched her teeth and marched towards the red head. She crouched down, scooped Emily's legs and lifted her over her shoulder.
"You're getting on my nerves." She muttered to the red head while she walked towards the bright yellow house they parked in front of. She stooped down, clutching the squirming Emily tightly, as she grabbed the hidden key under a loose floor board.
"Put me down!" Emily tried to protest, struggling out of Naomi's grip.
"Shut up." The sudden seriousness on Naomi's tone made the red head close her mouth and bite her lip. She might have hit the wrong button.
Turning the inserted key to open the lock, Naomi twisted the door knob and stepped in inside the house, slamming the door shut behind her. She headed for the stairs, flicking the lights on while on her way, until she reached the room around the corner. She barged in, finally setting the now frozen red head on her feet.
"Why can't you just kill me?" Emily asked, breathless.
"For the last fucking time Emily! I have no intention of killing you! Can't you understand that?" Naomi snapped back, her irritation growing by the minute. "I can't do it alright? I won't do it."
"Then why didn't you just let Cook do it?" Emily retorted, her own anger fueling.
"For fuck's sake Emily! Are you that blind? Isn't it obvious already?"
"What is?"
"I don't want you to get hurt." Naomi barely whispered, as if every word was killing her.
"Why?"
"I don't know." Naomi shook her head. "I really don't know."
A spark of hope ignited inside the red head, hope that maybe Naomi was feeling the same emotion she had for her, that maybe she liked her too. Wait, no. It was more than liking, something deeper than just liking. She took a deep breath and inched closer to the blonde. That same spark of hope seemed to have brought courage with it, letting her articulate the words and form the question she never dared to ask.
"Do you love me?"
"What?" Naomi asked in surprise.
"Do you love me?" Emily repeated, this time stronger, firmer.
Naomi scoffed, surprising Emily. "I don't love anybody. I don't even know what love is." She answered darkly.
Emily backed away, her stinging tears now flowing relentlessly on her cheeks, as rejection washed all over her. Feeling the edge of the bed with her legs, she sunk on it, the look of disbelief and pain still evident in her eyes and expression. She wanted to run away but she couldn't feel her legs, wanted to scream but she couldn't find her voice. Instead, she stayed rooted, frozen on the bed, her whole body too stiff to move.
"Emily, wait I-" She heard Naomi speak, but she cut her off, blocking the sound of Naomi's voice as it cut her even more, ripped her in half.
"Go." She managed to reply. "Just please go. Leave me alone." She barely mouthed, her voice cracking down. She felt Naomi move her feet, felt the closing of the door. It was then she finally gave up, her cries turning into sobs, reality sinking in.
Death was far off better than a broken, shattered heart.
O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O
Naomi ran down to the stairs and straight to the door, slamming it too forcefully. She marched down the pavement, kicking angrily every stone that was getting on her way. She didn't know who she was exactly mad at, Emily or herself? She couldn't figure out how their little banter turned into a heated argument and now this. She stopped walking for a moment and shut her eyes, the image of Emily breaking down flashing on her mind. She felt her chest tighten at the sight, tight enough to feel herself choking. She screamed at the top of her lungs, confusion dawning over her. She hated being confused, hated things for not going as planned, worst, she hated herself for hurting Emily like that, for being the cause of the anguish in Emily's eyes. She hated herself because she knew deep down that she was hurting too. Emily's pain was now her pain. And as much as she despised admitting it, it was tearing her apart. It was already enough not to be able to fulfill her mission, falling for Emily would be the death of her.
She clenched her teeth, forcing her eyes open, as she continued to walk down the pavement. Her eyes wandered around, desperately trying to shake her thoughts from Emily, trying to ease her guilt, when she finally noticed that almost every girl she passed by had fucking red hair.
"Christ! Fuck me!" She shouted angrily. "And they've got fucking beauty spots too!" She furiously kicked the empty can she saw, sending it into a roll down the pavement. Why, oh why did she have to be reminded now? And since when did red hair and beauty spots became a fad? For all she knew, it was something uniquely Emily.
"I need a fucking drink." She cursed under her breath and stepped inside the small wine store she spotted across the street. Her eyes roamed around, looking for some decent booze, when the girl behind the counter greeted her.
"Welcome to Fitch's wine picks!"
"Wha - huh?" Naomi's eyebrows rose in confusion. Darting out of the door, she looked up to read the store sign.
Fitch's Wine Picks.
"Jesus fucking Christ!" She exasperated, her anger and frustration nearing her boiling point. She felt like she would explode at any given moment. She ran further down the pavement, feeling the need to get away from where she was. She reached the park and sunk down on the wooden bench, feeling the sudden exhaustion get to her. She tipped her head up and closed her eyes, letting the warm sunlight smolder her shut eyelids, burning the image of Emily with them. She blew out several deep breaths before bringing her head down. She was really getting tired of everything.
"Something bothering you love?" Naomi quickly turned her head and faced the old man who spoke, sat on the other side of the bench. Funny, she didn't notice him there.
"Nothing, really." She shook her head, probably way too much for a normal shake.
"If you say so." The old man replied with a smile on his lips.
Naomi took a long, deep breath. "Do you know what love is?" She asked the old man.
"Love is a big word, and nobody could really explain it." The old man kindly replied.
"How would you know you love somebody then?"
"It's when everything around you seem to fall apart, seem to go the wrong way, and the only thing you see that is right is that person. You feel what that person feels. When that person's happy, you are happy. Sad when that someone's sad. You do things that you have never done before, things that you used to laugh or cringe away to, but now you're more than willing to do."
"What if that someone is the wrong person? I mean, somebody you shouldn't love?"
"It could never be wrong if you think it feels right."
The blonde girl blew out another breath. "Love confuses the hell out of me."
"Love is not complicated, unless you make it."
Silence fell.
"Have you ever fallen in love?" The blonde asked again, breaking the quietness.
"I did." The old man answered, his gaze far away.
"What happened?"
"I let her go, didn't fight for her. I probably made the biggest mistake of my life." The kind old man replied, his lips forming into a sad smile.
"Why did you let her go?"
"Because like you, I was once afraid of love, once confused by it. I made things really complicated, and I could say I messed up."
"Do you regret it?"
"Every day of my life."
"Where is she now?" Naomi asked once more, not noticing that she had moved closer to the old man.
"She's already gone, and I never told her I love her more than anything in this world, even once." The old man answered, a tear forming in his eye.
"I'm really sorry to hear that." Naomi apologized. The old man answered with a faint smile.
"What hurt me most was I knew we could be happy together, we would. But I neglected that just because I was too afraid to let somebody in, and before I knew it, she was slowly slipping away."
Naomi placed a hand on top of the old man's and gave it a gentle squeeze.
"This used to be our meeting place, this very same bench." The old man patted the wooden bench.
"That's why you're here?" She asked.
The old man answered with a nod. "It's the only way I know I could connect to her. I go here every day, think back to our past and wish that I could just turn back time."
"I'm really sorry." Naomi apologized once more.
"It's alright." The kind man assured. "So you, young lady, don't ever let that someone go. Don't make the same mistake as I did." He continued, looking at Naomi straight in the eye.
The blonde answered with a half nod and a faint smile. "What's her name?"
"Emily."
"Fucking hell!" She blurted out, making the old man flinch. "Sorry." She muttered in apology. "I have to go now."
"Remember, don't let her go!" She heard the old man shout as she made her way back to the house.
If there was one thing she realized, it was that she couldn't escape Emily. No matter how many times she would run away, she would just keep coming back, because Emily had become a part of her, had become her world.
O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O
Emily had no idea how long she had been sitting and sobbing on the bed. Her tears had already run dry. It would seem that she had cried everything out. Yet, the pain still remained. Her heart was still throbbing, like it had just been ripped apart, like it just had been forcefully torn in two. She felt like she was a mirror, now shattered into a thousand pieces, without any idea how she would put herself back together, make her whole again.
She hated herself for being so blind, for believing that Naomi felt something for her too. Their mum was right, she was easily impressionable and her twin sister was right, she was stupid, probably, the most stupid person that ever existed. She felt like she was too useless, too weak that nobody could take her seriously, love her for who she is. She was too weak that she couldn't even protect herself from Cook, save herself from his cruel hands. She had to need Naomi's help and she hated it, because it just made her fall for her more. And it just fucking cuts you when the one you love refuses to love you back. It cuts, like a piercing knife, up to the very core.
She stood up, spotting the tub from the slightly opened bathroom door across the room, and walked towards it. Slipping in, she shrugged from her clothes, leaving her bra and knickers on, and opened the faucet. As the tub was filled with water, she got in, slowly submerging herself completely.
For once in her life, she wanted to forget everything, be numb about everything. For once in her life, Emily Fitch wanted to be free.
